FRANK. (_C., to ADELAIDE_) Ah! there you are, little darling; my
grandson told me just now that----
SIMON. (_sinking again into easy chair, R. C._) My wife will be back
directly.
ADELA. I am sorry, madam, to have interrupted your walk.
FRANK. I was coming home, for the dew is beginning to fall.
SIMON. (_aside_) I wish my wages were falling due--I can't stand this.
FRANK. (_patting ADELAIDE'S cheeks_) Ah! what a pretty little
creature--ah! what is your name, poppet?
ADELA. Adelaide.
FRANK. Ah! my name is Selina Matilda. You found Mr. Mitchell very dull
company, didn't you? Wait a minute--I'll send him to bed. (_shouting_)
Philomel! Philomel! (_aside to SIMON, and giving him a sly punch_) Why
don't you answer, you brute?
SIMON. Oh, is that me?
FRANK. Go to bed, my cherished love. (_aside to him_) Be off, you
beast! (_aloud_) I will assist you as far as your chamber. Come, dear
love. (_raising SIMON from chair_)
SIMON. (_aside to him_) Do you mean it?
FRANK. Of course I do. (_kicking him slyly_) Idiot!
SIMON. Oh! I say, that hurts, you know.
FRANK. (_leading him towards door, R._) Come, cherished husband of my
youth--worshipped of my old age. (_seeing ADELAIDE is not looking_)
Get out, you hippopotamus! (_giving him a violent kick and bundling
him off violently, door, R._)
ADELA. (_turning at the noise_) What was that?
FRANK. Nothing--my poor husband knocked his head against the door
post, that's all. (_aside_) What a charming little creature she is!
Now, tell me, my love, who sent you here?
ADELA. Oh, you know perfectly well, your friend, Mr. Dunstable.
FRANK. Ah, to be sure. I hope Mr. Constable is quite well.
ADELA. Dunstable--yes, madam.
FRANK. And his wife?
ADELA. His wife! Why he has been a widower for the last fifteen years.
FRANK. (_aside_) Phew! (_aloud_) Ah, to be sure, she is dead, then she
is quite well.
(_singing_) When we are dead it's for a long time,
Says the old adage with wisdom rife;
When we are dead it's for a long time,
And we're cured of the tooth-ache for all our life.
(_laughing_) He, he, he! you will soon see, my dear, that I am a very
gay old lady.
ADELA. I see that already!
FRANK. My duck, I suppose you have a sweetheart?
ADELA. A sweetheart?
FRANK. You needn't mind telling me, I'm an old woman, you know; you
are young and pretty. Ah, when I was your age, I pledge you my word I
was a beauty.
ADELA. No doubt of it, madam.
FRANK. Ah, on the day of my marriage with Mr. Mitchell--and that
reminds me, I want my supper.
ADELA. The table is already laid yonder. I will bring it to this room.
_Exit, door, L._
FRANK. Wait for me, my love; I'll assist you. (_toddles to door, L.,
and he and ADELAIDE bring on table ready served; they place the table,
C., and sit; ADELAIDE is moving the lamp nearer to FRANK_)
FRANK. (_R. of table_) No, no, don't do that, my dear, my eyes are so
weak; why here is only one plate and knife and fork.
ADELA. (_L. of table_) It doesn't matter, I have no appetite.