(_To Mr. Caine and his Bill prohibiting advertisements in rural
places._)
Oh, Mr. CAINE, for this relief much thanks.
As most benignant benefactor ranks
The man who saves our own sweet countryside--
At once our chiefest glory and our pride--
From all the many nauseating ills
Which come out of advertisements of pills!
Pills there must be, but when we chance to pass
Through meadows and would rest our eyes on grass,
Or pleasantly meander by the river,
We would forget we've even got a liver.
So here's success to you, Sir, in your Bill
To make it wrong to advertise a pill
In rural spots in which we fondly now
Associate "three acres and a cow!"
And when success this rural venture yields,
Do for the beaches what's done for the fields!
* * * * *
"INVISIBLE TROUSER STRETCHERS."--Legs.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE BABES ON THE TREASURY BENCH.
(_With Mr. Punch's Thanks to Mr. Courtney for the Suggestion. Vide
Times, Parliamentary Report, Wednesday, November 22._)]
* * * * *
[Illustration: "TRANSMITTED."
_Ignorant Bachelor Visitor._ "HULLO, THROGMORTON; WHAT THE DEUCE ARE
YOUR TWINS UP TO WITH THAT CONTRIVANCE?"
_Proud Father (of Throgmorton, Threadneedle & Co.; Telephone
123456-1/4)._ "HA! THERE YOU ARE, MY BOY--MARVELLOUS EXAMPLE OF
INHERITED BUSINESS INSTINCT! THEY'RE TRYING TO TELEPHONE TO EACH
OTHER!"]
* * * * *