EARLY STRUGGLES.
I REACHED Glasgow on the third day, having slept one night at Thornhill,
and another at New Cumnock; and having needed, owing to the kindness of
acquaintances upon whom I called by the way, to spend only three
halfpence of my modest funds. Safely arrived, but weary, I secured a
humble room for my lodging, for which I had to pay one shilling and
sixpence per week. Buoyant and full of hope and looking up to God for
guidance, I appeared at the appointed hour before the examiners, as did
also the other candidate; and they having carefully gone through their
work, asked us to retire. When recalled, they informed us that they had
great difficulty in choosing, and suggested that the one of us might
withdraw in favor of the other, or that both might submit to a more
testing examination. Neither seemed inclined to give it up, both were
willing for a second examination; but the patrons made another
suggestion. They had only £50 per annum to give; but if we would agree
to divide it betwixt us, and go into one lodging, we might both be able
to struggle through, they would pay our entrance fees at the Free Normal
Seminary, and provide us with the books required; and perhaps they might
be able to add a little to the sum promised to each of us. By dividing
the mission work appointed, and each taking only the half, more time
also might be secured for our studies. Though the two candidates had
never seen each other before, we at once accepted this proposal, and got
on famously together, never having had a dispute on anything of common
interest throughout our whole career.
As our fellow-students at the Normal were all far advanced beyond us in
their education, we found it killing work, and had to grind away
incessantly, late and early. Both of us, before the year closed, broke
down in health; partly by hard study, but principally, perhaps, for lack
of nourishing diet. A severe cough seized upon me; I began spitting
blood, and a doctor ordered me at once home to the country and forbade
all attempts at study. My heart sank; it was a dreadful disappointment,
and to me a bitter trial. Soon after, my companion, though apparently
much stronger than I, was similarly seized. He, however, never entirely
recovered, though for some years he taught in a humble school; and long
ago he fell asleep in Jesus, a devoted and honored Christian man.
I, on the other hand, after a short rest, nourished by the hill air of
Torthorwald and by the new milk of our family cow, was ere long at work
again. Renting a house, I began to teach a small school at Girvan, and
gradually but completely recovered my health.
Having saved £10 by my teaching, I returned to Glasgow, and was enrolled
as a student at the College; but before the session was finished my
money was exhausted--I had lent some to a poor student, who failed to
repay me--and only nine shillings remained in my purse. There was no one
from whom to borrow, had I been willing; I had been disappointed in
attempting to secure private tuition; and no course seemed open for me,
except to pay what little I owed, give up my College career, and seek
for teaching or other work in the country. I wrote a letter to my father
and mother, informing them of my circumstances; that I was leaving
Glasgow in quest of work, and that they would, not hear from me again
till I had found a suitable situation. I told them that if otherwise
unsuccessful, I should fall back on my own trade, though I shrank from
that as not tending to advance my education; but that they might rest
assured I would do nothing to dishonor them or my own Christian
profession. Having read that letter over again through many tears, I
said,--I cannot send that, for it will grieve my darling parents; and
therefore, leaving it on the table, I locked my room door and ran out to
find a place where I might sell my precious books, and hold on a few
weeks longer. But, as I stood on the opposite side and wondered whether
these folks in a shop with the three golden balls would care to have a
poor student's books, and as I hesitated, knowing how much I needed them
for my studies, conscience smote me as if for doing a guilty thing; I
imagined that the people were watching me like one about to commit a
theft; and I made off from the scene at full speed, with a feeling of
intense shame at having dreamed of such a thing! Passing through one
short street into another, I marched on mechanically; but the Lord God
of my father was guiding my steps, all unknown to me.
A certain notice in a window, into which I had probably never in my life
looked before, here caught my eye, to this effect--"Teacher wanted,
Maryhill Free Church school; apply at the Manse." A coach or bus was
just passing, when I turned round; I leapt into it, saw the Minister,
arranged to undertake the School, returned to Glasgow, paid my
landlady's lodging score, tore up that letter to my parents and wrote
another full of cheer and hope; and early next morning entered the
School and began a tough and trying job. The Minister warned me that the
School was a wreck, and had been broken up chiefly by coarse and bad
characters from mills and coal-pits, who attended the evening classes.
They had abused several masters in succession; and, laying a thick and
heavy cane on the desk, he said:
"Use that freely, or you will never keep order here!"
I put it aside into the drawer of my desk, saying, "That will be my last
resource."
There were very few scholars for the first week--about eighteen in the
Day School and twenty in the Night School. The clerk of the mill, a good
young fellow, came to the evening classes, avowedly to learn
book-keeping, but privately he said he had come to save me from personal
injury.
The following week, a young man and a young woman began to attend the
Night School, who showed from the first moment that they were bent on
mischief. On my repeated appeals for quiet and order, they became the
more boisterous, and gave great merriment to a few of the scholars
present. I finally urged the young man, a tall, powerful fellow, to be
quiet or at once to leave, declaring that at all hazards I must and
would have perfect order; but he only mocked at me, and assumed a
fighting attitude. Quietly locking the door and putting the key in my
pocket, I turned to my desk, armed myself with the cane, and dared any
one at his peril to interfere betwixt us. It was a rough struggle--he
smashing at me clumsily with his fists, I with quick movements evading
and dealing him blow after blow with the heavy cane for several
rounds--till at length he crouched down at his desk, exhausted and
beaten, and I ordered him to turn to his book, which he did in sulky
silence. Going to my desk, I addressed them and asked them to inform all
who wished to come to the School,--That if they came for education,
everything would be heartily done that it was in my power to do; but
that any who wished for mischief had better stay away, as I was
determined to conquer, not to be conquered, and to secure order and
silence, whatever it might cost. Further, I assured them that that cane
would not again be lifted by me, if kindness and forbearance on my part
could possibly gain the day, as I wished to rule by love and not by
terror. But this young man knew he was in the wrong, and it was that
which had made him weak against me, though every way stronger far than
I. Yet I would be his friend and helper, if he was willing to be
friendly with me, the same as if this night had never been. At these
words a dead silence fell on the School: every one buried face
diligently in book; and the evening closed in uncommon quiet and order.
The attendance grew, till the School became crowded, both during the day
and at night. During the mid-day hour even, I had a large class of young
women who came to improve themselves in writing and arithmetic. By and
by the cane became a forgotten implement; the sorrow and pain which I
showed as to badly-done lessons, or anything blameworthy, proved the far
more effectual penalty.
The School Committee had promised me at least ten shillings per week,
and guaranteed to make up any deficit if the fees fell short of that
sum; but if the income from fees exceeded that sum, all was to be mine.
Affairs went on prosperously for a season; indeed, too much so for my
selfish interest. The Committee took advantage of the large attendance
and better repute of the School, to secure the services of a master of
the highest grade. The parents of many of the children offered to take
and seat a hall, if I would remain, but I knew too well that I had
neither education nor experience to compete with an accomplished
teacher. Their children, however, got up a testimonial and subscription,
which was presented to me on the day before I left and this I valued
chiefly because the presentation was made by the young fellows who at
first behaved so badly, but were now my devoted friends.
Once more I committed my future to the Lord God of my father, assured
that in my very heart I was willing and anxious to serve Him and to
follow the blessed Saviour, yet feeling keenly that intense darkness had
again enclosed my path.