have had to use a foghorn. I got so rattled I began to cry myself. Then
she flung herself in my arms, and said if I jilted her (jilted her, mind
you!) she'd blow her brains out. And she'll do it, too, she'll do it.
That's what I'm afraid of. If Selina kills herself for love of me, it's
all up with Lucy; she'll never marry me.
KING--Does anyone know of this scene?
BART--Her maid came in while she was sobbing in my arms. I tried to
shake her off, but she clung like a leech.
KING--Her maid, that's bad.
BART--(_Moodily._) I know it's bad.
KING--Are you sure you never made her think you loved her?
BART--I protest on my word of honor, I never even hinted at love.
BOY--(_To Miss Brown, as he yawns over newspaper._) There's nothin'
worth readin' except this blame suicide.
MISS BROWN--(_Looking up from her newspaper._) It certainly gets my goat
the way some fool women go dippy over men.
(_King glances at Miss Brown suddenly, as she raises her voice during
her last remark, then turns to Bart._)
KING--Have you seen the papers?
BART--I've been afraid to look at them for fear of reading something
about her.
KING--(_Turning to counter._) Bring me a Gazette, boy. (_Hands coin._)
No change. Go along.
BOY--(_Impudently._) The woods is full of 'em.
KING--(_Looking at paper._) I guess you're in for it, Bart.
BART--(_In a stifled voice._) What--what is it?
KING--This suicide. I never connected it with you. The body of an
unknown woman was found at the Riverton dam this afternoon. She was
about thirty-eight years old, five feet five, had light brown hair--does
that fit your Selina?
BART--I don't think Selina was more than five feet three or four, and
she can't be thirty. She told me herself she was only twenty-six. (_Puts
out a shaking hand for the paper._) Let me see.
KING--(_Holding paper._) The newspaper description may not be accurate
Bart, but all her underclothing was marked with initials. That is the
clue the police are working on.
(_Hands paper to Bart, pointing out the place._)
MISS BROWN--(_Reading her newspaper._) Poor soft soul, it's certainly
awful.
BART--(_Clutching his head._) Great heavens! She left a note. "I did it
for love, _he_ will understand. S. W." She's dead, she's dead, there's
blood on my hands.
KING--Pull yourself together. Don't make a scene here.
BART--I've killed her just as surely as if I'd thrown her into the water
myself. I'm a murderer, that's what I am. I've murdered Selina!
KING--Sit down, and listen to me.
BART--Murderer, Selina's murderer!
KING--Sit down! We must work this out together quietly.
BART--(_Bitterly._) Be quiet with a murder on my conscience.
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy, folding up her newspaper._) Well I ain't seen the
man, I'd kill myself for.
KING--(_To Bart._) I'm going to tell you something no one in all the
world knows except me, and a poor heart broken old woman in New
Hampshire.
BART--Don't talk to me. I'm a murderer.
KING--(_Whispering._) So am I!
BART--(_Jumping._) What!
KING--That's what I want to tell you about.
BART--You too!
KING--Eight years ago, I trifled with a woman, just as you have done. I
was more to blame than you, for I made her think I loved her. She loved
_me_, there was no doubt about that, but I thought she was after my
money, and that of course, ended everything. I quarrelled with her, and
went about my business. She left the city. A month later I received a
letter from her mother. She told me her daughter had died in her arms of
a broken heart. Her last words were, "I have given my heart unreservedly
to him." My name was the last she ever breathed. And the poor old lady
was left alone and penniless. I would have gone to her at once, but she
could not bear the shock of seeing her daughter's murderer.
BART--What a coincidence!
KING--It does not end there, for she was called Selina!
BART--(_Amazed._) Selina!
KING--A tragic coincidence.
BART--Both of us murderers!
KING--Murderers, yes, we have murdered our Selinas.
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy._) Merciful heavens, they've killed someone!
(_Takes down telephone, and calls._) Main 674 ... 674 I said. Say
operator, you get me Main 674 will ye? Oh, stop polishing yer nails, you
ain't no society dame.... Is this 674? Send a cop quick to Miss Brown's
restaurant. Someone's been murdered, and the men who done it ... here in
my restaurant. I ain't stringin' ye ... right away. I don't like bein'
alone with them. (_Hangs receiver up, and watches Bart and King
closely._)
BART--(_To King._) What did you do?
KING--What could I do? From the day of her death until now, I've kept
her mother. It's the only reparation I can make, and I have done it for
eight years.
BART--(_Tragically._) My Selina was alone in the world. With her death I
have blotted out an entire family.
KING--(_Humbly._) We possibly can't help being handsome and fascinating,
Bart.
BART--But we must learn to be careful with women, and not lead them on.
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy._) Now you sit tight, and if they come over here,
brain them with a soda water bottle.... (_Looks out of doorway._)
BOY--(_Dancing with excitement and pleasure._) Ain't this some picnic!
KING--(_To Bart._) I have never dared look at a woman since then.
BART--I can't imagine Lucy killing herself for me. She will never love
me as Selina did.
KING--(_Sighing._) Selina.
BART--Mine?
KING--Mine.
(_Enter a plain clothes Officer, and a Policeman, breathlessly._)
OFFICER--(_To Miss Brown._) Now, which one of them done it?
MISS BROWN--It's that young one, I think. You could spot his ugly mug
for a crook anywhere.
(_Officer goes up to King, and turns him around suddenly, while the
Policeman does the same to Bart._)
KING--What do you want?
OFFICER--(_Slipping handcuffs on._) Come along peaceful.
(_Policeman handcuffs Bart._)
BART--Stop that! What are you doing?
OFFICER--Keepin' you safe. The lady just phoned to headquarters what
you've been doin'.
BART--(_Angrily, to Miss Brown._) I gave you a dollar, what more do you
want?
OFFICER--Hush money won't go, boss.
KING--Take these things off, or I'll brain you.
(_The Boy dances around the stage in glee, getting into everyone's
way._)
BOY--Keep the nippers on 'em, Casey, or they'll muss up the shop!
OFFICER--I'm running no risks with murderers.
BART AND KING--Murderers! (_they collapse. King drops his cane, and Miss
Brown makes a dive for it, and shakes it at him._)
MISS BROWN--I heard ye, ye bloodthirsty thug.
KING--(_To Officer._) Now see here, don't be a fool. I'm George King,
editor of the Gazette--
OFFICER--Can it, boss, everything you say will be used against you at
the trial.
BART--(_Despairingly._) It only needed this!
KING--Is Lieut. Mason in the guard house?
OFFICER--Maybe he is, maybe he ain't. I ain't sayin'.
KING--Take us to him at once. He'll identify us. You can't run men in
like this, on a pink headed old maid's say so. Where's your warrant?
OFFICER--The warrant's comin'. We hadn't time to wait for it, while you
skinned out.
KING--Take us to Lieut. Mason at once.
OFFICER--Well, come along, and none of your funny tricks, or I'll wing
you.
(_Takes out revolver._) You too, Miss Brown, the chief'll want your
testimony.
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy._) Watch the Cafe, while I'm gone, and don't you
give nobody nothin'.
(_Exeunt Bart, King, Miss Brown, Officer and Policeman. Boy puts record
on machine, and before starting it, says, "Gee, life's great!" then
dances to the music, stopping when Selina and Gentleman, in evening
attire, appear at the door._)
GENTLEMAN--It's too bad the tire's punctured.
SELINA--(_Graciously._) I really don't mind it in the least.
GENTLEMAN--Really?
SELINA--Really.
GENTLEMAN--A car's such a rotten nuisance. Always something wrong with
it; much rather ride in a hack.
SELINA--(_Coquettishly._) Even a hack would have no terrors with you,
though I confess, I prefer the machine.
GENTLEMAN--We'll be late for dinner, too. It will take Thompson half an
hour to put on that tire.
SELINA--Then let's sit here, look at the moon, and talk.
GENTLEMAN--About the moon?
SELINA--Oh dear no,--about you and me.
GENTLEMAN--About you, you're such a ripping sort. Maybe I can get
something to drink while we wait.
SELINA--Do, I'm chilled to the bone.
GENTLEMAN--Boy, let us have two cups of fresh hot coffee.
BOY--You gotta wait.
GENTLEMAN--Wait, why?
BOY--The lady's out. I can't make cawfee. I'm just mindin' the shop.
GENTLEMAN--You get us something to drink.
BOY--Aw, this is a temperance joint.
(_Grins impudently at the Gentleman, who stares at him with great
disdain for an instant, then turns to Selina._)
GENTLEMAN--Botheration! I suppose we might as well stay out of the cold
until Thompson is ready.
SELINA--There's a draft along there. Don't sit too near the wall.
GENTLEMAN--I'll fix the draft with this screen. (_Places screen across
one corner of room._) That will keep that fresh kid from seeing us, too.
SELINA--Why don't you want the boy to see? What are you going to do?
GENTLEMAN--Well, for one thing, kiss you, if I get the chance.
SELINA--(_Severely._) I think you are forgetting yourself.
GENTLEMAN--(_Confusedly._) I beg your pardon. My tongue slipped. I
wanted to ask you to, to--I'll take a look at Thompson.
(_Exit Gentleman. Boy makes a smacking noise with his lips._)
BOY--Um, honey!
SELINA--(_Behind screen, exultingly._) It'll be easy enough to work him.
He's ready to drop into my hand now, like a ripe plum. Lord, what fools
men are!
(_Boy puts on record, and starts machine. Selina listens a moment, then
picks up her skirt, and does a few steps behind screen. Bart and King
enter._)
KING--Stop that infernal racket.
BOY--Big stiff. (_Does not stop machine._)
KING--Where's my cane?
BOY--You gotta wait till Miss Brown comes back.
KING--You get my cane.
BOY--(_Picking cane up from counter, and hiding it behind him._) I don't
know where she put it. You gotta wait, see?
KING--(_To Bart._) I'd like to jump that cop. Nice fix for us if Mason
hadn't been there.
BOY--(_Stopping machine._) Say, didn't you do it? What did they let you
come back for?
KING--Of course we didn't do it.
BART--(_To King._) And yet we _are_ guilty of murder.
KING--Luckily for us, the law won't see it that way.... I'll double my
allowance to her mother.
BART--And I'll put flowers every week on my Selina's grave.
KING--We are bound together by ties of death. We must be brave, and face
the world serenely.
BART--(_Clasping King's hand._) And no one must know.
SELINA--(_Peeping around screen._) George King and Bart! My gosh, what a
pickle! (_She hurriedly enters the little room back of the screen. Bart
and King just catch a glimpse of her as she disappears._)
KING--Sh!
BART--Great heavens, an apparition!
KING--She has come to haunt me.
BART--I shall throw myself at her ghostly feet, and crave pardon.
BART AND KING--(_With outstretched hands._) Selina!
KING--(_Tragically._) That was the spirit of the Selina whom my coldness
killed.
BART--It was the spirit of my Selina, who drowned herself for love of
me.
KING--How terrible is the vengeance of heaven! It makes the one woman
haunt us both.
BART--I shall go mad now.
KING--Bart, I feel my reason tottering.
(_They sit at little table, heads on hands, backs to the entrance door.
Gentleman enters, and goes behind screen._)
GENTLEMAN--It will take about ten minutes more--hello, where have you
gone?
SELINA--(_Peeping from room off stage._) Sh!
GENTLEMAN--Why, what's the mystery?
SELINA--Did you see two men in there, as you came in?
GENTLEMAN--Didn't notice, but I'll take a look.
(_Bart and King hide behind counter when Gentleman appears._)
GENTLEMAN--Not a soul but the boy. (_Returns to Selina, who comes into
the room, but remains behind screen. Bart and King stay behind counter,
but listen intently to Selina and Gentleman._)
KING--Something queer about this.
SELINA--(_To Gentleman._) Flatterer!
GENTLEMAN--I remember the first time I saw you at the opera. By the
way, who's that chap you always go with?
SELINA--(_Lightly._) Oh, that!
BART--Her voice!
GENTLEMAN--He interests me. Seems very sweet on you.
SELINA--Think so?
GENTLEMAN--I have eyes.
SELINA--He's just a boy.
GENTLEMAN--It's these young cubs who always run off with the prizes. Are
you in love with him?
SELINA--I do not think you have any right to question me.
GENTLEMAN--I beg your pardon for seeming impertinent. I merely ask, so I
may know where I stand.
SELINA--Do you think _he_ is the type of man I could love? Frankly, he
bores me to death.
BART--Great fish!
GENTLEMAN--I don't think you bore him.
SELINA--(_Sadly._) Poor boy!
GENTLEMAN--He's gone on you, isn't he?
SELINA--(_Pleadingly._) Please don't think me a heartless coquette. He's
alone here in the city. I was just nice and friendly to him, and the
poor fellow's fallen desperately in love with me.
GENTLEMAN--(_Gallantly._) I don't blame him.
SELINA--That's quite sweet of you, but it's made me very unhappy. He was
engaged to a girl up the state, and I'm afraid she will blame me. Women
are so cruel in their judgments.
GENTLEMAN--(_Soothingly._) Well if you don't love him--
SELINA--How can I? Yet I'm worried sick, for he has threatened to kill
himself if I don't marry him.
BART--(_Springing up hysterically._) Liar!
KING--(_With deep conviction._) She's no ghost.
SELINA--(_To Gentleman._) Do you wonder I am unhappy?
GENTLEMAN--You certainly couldn't throw yourself away on a young puppy
like him.
BART--(_Clenching fists._) Oh!
KING--Sit down!
SELINA--He hasn't been at his office since I refused him. I'm afraid
he's done something desperate.
GENTLEMAN--Don't worry about him. What you want is a man with position
and wealth. Now, if _I_ should say I loved you, and wanted to marry you?
SELINA--(_Quietly._) But you have not.
GENTLEMAN--(_With an embarrassed laugh._) I'm trying to hard enough.
SELINA--Shall I say, "this is so sudden?"
GENTLEMAN--Heavens, no, not that stuff! Say "yes."
SELINA--But I'm not used to this sort of proposal.
GENTLEMAN--I don't mind being romantic, I'll get down on my knees, if
you like.
SELINA--Don't don't, the floor's dirty.
GENTLEMAN--Well then, say "yes."
SELINA--But you've known me scarcely two weeks.
GENTLEMAN--And loved you the first time I saw you.
SELINA--I wish I'd known it.
BART--(_Heartily._) So do I.
GENTLEMAN--I'm telling you now, isn't that enough?
SELINA--I've no family, no money save a small allowance from my mother's
estate. I'm really a very poor girl.
GENTLEMAN--Don't worry about that, I've money enough for two.
SELINA--The little income I get barely keeps me, but I've managed to
live on it for eight years.
KING--(_Grimly._) You've got your last check from me, mother dear!
GENTLEMAN--Poor little woman, what a struggle you must have had to keep
up appearances. (_Horn blows outside._) Come, there's Thompson. We can
announce our engagement at the dinner.
(_The Gentleman helps Selina into her wraps, while Bart and King again
hide behind counter. Miss Brown enters. She is in a fine rage._)
MISS BROWN--The way law's handed out in this town's a crime, a howlin'
crime!
BOY--What's eatin' ye now?
MISS BROWN--Lieut. Mason let them murderers off. He's a fool, that's
what he is, a soft pie-eyed fool!
BOY--Aw, forget it!
MISS BROWN--Don't tell me to forget it, or I'll slap your face for ye,
ye rat.
(_Chases Boy behind counter, and bumps into King._) Holy cats!
KING--(_In a whisper of suppressed rage._) Woman, give me my cane.
MISS BROWN--(_Goes to door and shrieks._) Police, police!
(_Selina and Gentleman are about to leave, but Selina pulls Gentleman
behind screen again._)
SELINA--(_To Gentleman._) Come back!
BART--What's she going to do now?
BOY--Better leave her be, she's got her dander up.
(_Enter Officer._)
OFFICER--What do ye want now, Miss Brown?
MISS BROWN--Call 'em innocent, if you like, but I got a hunch they're
crooks, and I want you to clear them out of my cafe, see?
OFFICER--You got me in wrong once. I ain't huntin' trouble.
SELINA--(_To Gentleman, who urges her forward._) No, no, stay here till
they go.
KING--I came back for my cane, and I'm not going to leave without it.
(_Horn blows again._)
GENTLEMAN--Hang it all, we'll be dreadfully late.
SELINA--(_In an ecstasy of fear._) No, no, stay here till they go.
(_Leans against screen, which shakes, and almost falls over._)
MISS BROWN--What's back of that screen? I saw it move!
(_Goes toward screen. Bart and King make a bolt for the door, and
Officer stops them._)
MISS BROWN--(_Discovering Selina and Gentleman._) Pipe these two dolls,
will ye?
(_Selina draws scarf over face, and hurries toward door._)
OFFICER--(_Detaining her._) Not so fast please, I want to see you first.
GENTLEMAN--We're all right officer, just waiting here out of the cold,
while my car was being--
OFFICER--(_With easy familiarity to Selina._) Hello kid, where did you
hook the gown?
GENTLEMAN--Officer!
OFFICER--Easy, boy, easy.
SELINA--Let me pass, you have no right to detain me.
GENTLEMAN--This is an outrage. I'll report you.
OFFICER--(_To Selina._) Some style to you now, kid. Who you workin'?
Must have money to rig you out like that!
SELINA--Let me pass, I tell you, let me pass!
OFFICER--You're a wonder, Lena. Your own mother wouldn't know you.
BART--My gosh!
GENTLEMAN--How dare you insult this lady?
OFFICER--Say, what are you buttin' in for? Who are you anyway? What's it
matter to you?
GENTLEMAN--Everything. I'll not let you bulldoze a lady who's going to
be my wife.
OFFICER--She's not going to be your wife while I'm alive, Clarence.
GENTLEMAN--What do you mean?
OFFICER--I don't believe in divorce, and--
SELINA--(_In suppressed rage._) Keep quiet, will you!
OFFICER--(_Coolly._) And she happens to be _my_ wife.
(_General consternation._)
GENTLEMAN--Good heavens!
BART--Great fish!
KING--I'll be darned!
MISS BROWN--They're all dotty. The whole fool ranch is dotty.
GENTLEMAN--(_Tensely, to Selina._) Is this true, tell me, is this true?
SELINA--(_Shrugging shoulders._) Oh, what's the use!
OFFICER--Sure, it ain't any use, Lena, but if you're havin' a good time,
go to it. Gawd knows I don't want any more of ye.
(_Horn blows again._)
GENTLEMAN--I must be going.
SELINA--Would you mind dropping me at my apartments?
GENTLEMAN--(_Coldly._) Certainly not, if you wish.
(_Exeunt Selina and Gentleman. Bart, King and Officer bow to her with
mock courtesy as she passes them._)
OFFICER--She's got her nerve, all right. Knew I picked a pippin' when I
married her. She'll cook up some story to hoodwink him before they get
to her apartments. (_Stands in doorway, meditatively._)
KING--Died in her mother's arms! And I've been keeping the fictitious
old lady eight years.
BART--I'll put no flowers on her grave, the siren.
KING--She worked us all very nicely, didn't she?
BART--(_Suddenly._) King, our hands are bloodless. We have not murdered
Selina!
(_King and Bart fall into one another's arms, overcome with emotion.
Miss Brown watches them a moment in supreme disgust._)
MISS BROWN--(_To Boy._) Put on a fox trot, Jimmie, maybe it'll bring
them to, the poor prunes!
(_Boy puts on record._)
(_CURTAIN_)
NOTES
THE HAND OF THE PROPHET was written February, 1913. It was first
performed March 8, 1913, at Artsman's Hall, Rose Valley, Pennsylvania.
The three songs used are from "A LOVER IN DAMASCUS," words by Charles
Hanson Towne, music by Amy Woodforde-Finden. In the order of their
singing in the play, they are "Far Across the Desert Sands," "How Many a
Lonely Caravan," and "If in the Great Bazaars." The songs are published
by Boosey & Co.
The first dance is from Saint Saens' "Samson and Delilah." Melody is
included in this volume. The second dance is the "Dance Arabe" from
Tchaikovski's Casse-Noisette (Nut-cracker) Suite. The melody of the
third dance is included in this volume.
CHILDREN OF GRANADA was written March, 1914. It was first performed May
2, 1914, at Artsman's Hall, Rose Valley, Pennsylvania.
Music of Muezzin's Call to Prayer included in this volume.
THE TURTLE DOVE was written February, 1915. It was first performed April
6, 1915, at the MASQUE OF PRIMITIVE PEOPLES, Horticultural Hall,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Music of the Chinese Song is included in this volume.
THIS YOUTH--GENTLEMEN! was written February, 1909. It was published in
THE BUTTERFLY QUARTERLY, Winter 1908-1909.
THE STRIKER was written January, 1915. It was first performed March 5,
1915, at Artsman's Hall, Rose Valley, Pennsylvania.
MURDERING SELINA was written January, 1915. It was first performed March
5, 1915, at Artsman's Hall, Rose Valley, Pennsylvania.
[Music: Children of Granada
El Salamalek Sleakoum El Salam El Salam
Allah ouakbar
iales Salah la Allah ou Mohammed rassol Allah
Allah ouakbaria
les Salah
MUEZZIN'S CALL TO PRAYER]
[Music: The Hand of the Prophet
FIRST DANCE
THIRD DANCE]
[Music: The Turtle Dove
CHINESE MELODY
Bor lo un doy Bor lo un doy chin lo chin lo
Bor lo un doy.]
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES:
Text in italics is surrounded with underscores: _italics_.
Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
End of Project Gutenberg's Six One-Act Plays, by Margaret Scott Oliver