How with much ado we got a sight of the pope-hawk.
Our junketting and banqueting held on at the same rate the third day as the
two former. Pantagruel then earnestly desired to see the pope-hawk; but
Aedituus told him it was not such an easy matter to get a sight of him.
How, asked Pantagruel, has he Plato’s helmet on his crown, Gyges’s ring on
his pounces, or a chameleon on his breast, to make him invisible when he
pleases? No, sir, returned Aedituus; but he is naturally of pretty
difficult access. However, I’ll see and take care that you may see him, if
possible. With this he left us piddling; then within a quarter of an hour
came back, and told us the pope-hawk is now to be seen. So he led us,
without the least noise, directly to the cage wherein he sat drooping, with
his feathers staring about him, attended by a brace of little cardin-hawks
and six lusty fusty bish-hawks.
Panurge stared at him like a dead pig, examining exactly his figure, size,
and motions. Then with a loud voice he said, A curse light on the hatcher
of the ill bird; o’ my word, this is a filthy whoop-hooper. Tush, speak
softly, said Aedituus; by G--, he has a pair of ears, as formerly Michael
de Matiscones remarked. What then? returned Panurge; so hath a whoopcat.
So, said Aedituus; if he but hear you speak such another blasphemous word,
you had as good be damned. Do you see that basin yonder in his cage? Out
of it shall sally thunderbolts and lightnings, storms, bulls, and the devil
and all, that will sink you down to Peg Trantum’s, an hundred fathom under
ground. It were better to drink and be merry, quoth Friar John.
Panurge was still feeding his eyes with the sight of the pope-hawk and his
attendants, when somewhere under his cage he perceived a madge-howlet.
With this he cried out, By the devil’s maker, master, there’s roguery in
the case; they put tricks upon travellers here more than anywhere else, and
would make us believe that a t--d’s a sugarloaf. What damned cozening,
gulling, and coney-catching have we here! Do you see this madge-howlet?
By Minerva, we are all beshit. Odsoons, said Aedituus, speak softly, I
tell you. It is no madge-howlet, no she-thing on my honest word; but a
male, and a noble bird.
May we not hear the pope-hawk sing? asked Pantagruel. I dare not promise
that, returned Aedituus; for he only sings and eats at his own hours. So
don’t I, quoth Panurge; poor pilgarlic is fain to make everybody’s time his
own; if they have time, I find time. Come, then, let us go drink, if you
will. Now this is something like a tansy, said Aedituus; you begin to talk
somewhat like; still speak in that fashion, and I’ll secure you from being
thought a heretic. Come on, I am of your mind.
As we went back to have t’other fuddling bout, we spied an old green-headed
bish-hawk, who sat moping with his mate and three jolly bittern attendants,
all snoring under an arbour. Near the old cuff stood a buxom abbess-kite
that sung like any linnet; and we were so mightily tickled with her singing
that I vow and swear we could have wished all our members but one turned
into ears, to have had more of the melody. Quoth Panurge, This pretty
cherubim of cherubims is here breaking her head with chanting to this huge,
fat, ugly face, who lies grunting all the while like a hog as he is. I
will make him change his note presently, in the devil’s name. With this he
rang a bell that hung over the bish-hawk’s head; but though he rang and
rang again, the devil a bit bish-hawk would hear; the louder the sound, the
louder his snoring. There was no making him sing. By G--, quoth Panurge,
you old buzzard, if you won’t sing by fair means, you shall by foul.
Having said this, he took up one of St. Stephen’s loaves, alias a stone,
and was going to hit him with it about the middle. But Aedituus cried to
him, Hold, hold, honest friend! strike, wound, poison, kill, and murder all
the kings and princes in the world, by treachery or how thou wilt, and as
soon as thou wouldst unnestle the angels from their cockloft. Pope-hawk
will pardon thee all this. But never be so mad as to meddle with these
sacred birds, as much as thou lovest the profit, welfare, and life not only
of thyself, and thy friends and relations alive or dead, but also of those
that may be born hereafter to the thousandth generation; for so long thou
wouldst entail misery upon them. Do but look upon that basin. Catso! let
us rather drink, then, quoth Panurge. He that spoke last, spoke well, Mr.
Antitus, quoth Friar John; while we are looking on these devilish birds we
do nothing but blaspheme; and while we are taking a cup we do nothing but
praise God. Come on, then, let’s go drink; how well that word sounds!
The third day (after we had drank, as you must understand) Aedituus
dismissed us. We made him a present of a pretty little Perguois knife,
which he took more kindly than Artaxerxes did the cup of cold water that
was given him by a clown. He most courteously thanked us, and sent all
sorts of provisions aboard our ships, wished us a prosperous voyage and
success in our undertakings, and made us promise and swear by Jupiter of
stone to come back by his territories. Finally he said to us, Friends,
pray note that there are many more stones in the world than men; take care
you don’t forget it.