Decision
With his chair drawn tip close to the window, Parson John watched the
people as they moved along the road to and from the church. He recognized
them all, and knew them by their horses when some distance away. As
clothes betray a person when his face is not observable, so do horses and
sleighs on a country road. They seem to be vital parts of the owners, and
to separate them would be fatal. No one could imagine Mrs. Stickles seated
in a finely-upholstered sleigh and driving a high-mettled horse. She and
Sammy, the home-made pung and the old lean mare plodding onward, were
inseparably connected with the parish of Glendow. The parson's face
brightened as he saw this quaint conveyance shaking along the road. In
Mrs. Stickles he knew he would have one champion at least, though all the
others should turn against him. Team after team he watched, but none
turned aside into the Rectory gate to say a word to the old grey-headed
man, sitting before the window.
The hours dragged slowly by, and still he sat there. Nellie went quietly
about her household duties, but a great weight kept pressing upon her
heart. Her father was so quiet, took no interest in his books, and did no
writing. Often she would stop and watch him as he sat there. He seemed to
be greyer than usual; his head was more bent, and his face wore a sad,
pained expression. "If he would only utter some word of complaint,"
thought Nellie, "it would not be so hard. But to see that dumb, appealing
look is almost more than I can bear."
Though very quiet, Parson John was fighting a hard, stern battle. His eyes
were often turned towards the road, but his thoughts were mostly upon
other things. Over his desk hung two pictures, and occasionally his gaze
rested upon these. One was that of a sweet-faced woman, who looked down
upon him with gentle, loving eyes-such eyes as Nellie inherited.
"Ruth, Ruth," he murmured, "my darling wife. Thirty-five years since I
brought you here as a fair young bride. Thirty-five years! We knew not
then what lay before us. We knew not then how one must walk for years by
himself and at last tread the wine-press alone."
His eyes drifted to the other picture hanging there--the Master kneeling
alone in Gethsemane. Long he looked upon that prostrate figure with the
upturned face. He thought of His agony in the Garden, the betrayal,
desertion and suffering. "I have trodden the winepress alone," he softly
whispered as into his face came a new light of peace and strength. Opening
a well-worn volume lying on the desk he read again that Garden scene, when
the Master knelt and fought His terrible battle. Forgotten for a brief
space were his own trials as he pored over that sacred page. How often had
he read that story, and meditated upon every word, but never before did he
realize the full significance of the scene. "Wonderful, wonderful," he
murmured again, as he reverently closed the Book. "Thank God--oh, thank
God for that life of suffering and sorrow! He knows our human needs. He
trod the winepress alone, and must I, His unworthy servant, expect to
escape? So, my Father, do with me what is best. 'Not my will, but Thine be
done.'"
At this moment Nellie entered the room. She noticed the changed expression
upon her father's face, and, crossing to where he was, stood by his side.
"Do you feel better, father?" she asked.
"Yes, dear. My heart was very heavy a short time ago, but it is lighter
now. I seem to see my way more clearly. The darkness has passed, and a new
peace has come to me. Will you sing something for me, dearie?"
"Certainly, father. What shall it be?"
"Your mother's favorite hymn. The one she sang just before she left us."
Taking her seat at the little harmonium, Nellie gently touched the keys,
and in a clear, sweet voice sang the old favourite hymn:
"The sands of Time are sinking,
The dawn of Heaven breaks,
The summer morn I've sighed for.
The fair, sweet morn awakes.
Dark, dark has been the midnight,
But dayspring is at hand,
And glory, glory dwelleth
In Emmanuel's land."
Softly she sang the whole hymn through, her father leaning back in his
chair with closed eyes, drinking in every word and sound.
"I're wrestled on towards Heaven,
'Gainst storm and wind and tide;
Lord, grant thy weary traveller
To lean on Thee as guide."
"That's what I must do now, Nellie. 'Lean on Him as guide.' Oh, it gives
me such comfort. And He will guide right; we must never doubt that."
When the Bishop had finished his investigation in the vestry, he sighed as
he closed his small grip and left the church. Slowly he walked up the road
lost in deep thought. There were numerous things which disturbed his mind.
He had listened to what the people had to say, but everything was so
vague. Yet there was some mystery, he believed, connected with the whole
matter. That missing gold, the Rector's need of money and then the
purchase of the farm were still shrouded in darkness. Thinking thus he
reached the Larkins' house where he had been invited to tea.
"It will help Nellie to have the Bishop here," Mrs. Larkins had said to
her husband, "for she has enough care at the present time."
Keenly she watched the Bishop's face as he came into the house, hoping to
obtain some clue to his thoughts. To her the trouble at the Rectory was as
her own, and she longed to know the outcome of the investigation. At first
she dreaded the thought of having the Bishop to tea. Had she not often
heard of his sharp, abrupt manner? Anxiously she scanned the tea-table,
with its spotless linen, with everything so neatly arranged, and wondered
what she had omitted. Her fears were soon dispelled, however, for the
Bishop made himself perfectly at home. It was a pleasure to him to sit at
the table with these two true, honest souls, of whom he had heard much
from Parson John. They were so natural, and made no effort to be what they
were not.
"You must be tired, my Lord," said Mrs. Larkins, "after this trying day."
"Not so much tired as puzzled," was the reply.
"And did you get no light on the matter?"
"Not a bit. Look at all those notes I took--not worth the paper on which
they are written. Everything is hearsay--nothing definite. And yet there
is some mystery attached to the whole affair. I am sorely puzzled about
that missing gold and where the Rector obtained the money to buy that
farm."
"And didn't he tell you, my Lord?" asked Mrs. Larkins, pausing in the act
of pouring the tea.
"No, he will not tell me. He is as silent as the grave. When I pressed him
to speak and thus clear himself, he begged me with tears in his eyes not
to urge him. 'It's honest money,' he said, 'which purchased the farm, but
I can tell you no more now.'"
"You have heard, my Lord, that he is involved in some mining transaction
out in British Columbia. It is now in litigation and the parson is
contributing all he possibly can."
"Yes, I learned of that to-day, and it only tends to complicate matters. I
cannot believe that your Rector had anything to do with that gold. But oh,
if he would only explain. Are you sure that that box is not still among
the ashes and ruins of the old house?"
"I am certain it is not there," Mr. Larkins replied. "We have searched the
place thoroughly, and even sifted the ashes, but all in vain. Not a trace
could we find of the box or the gold."
The evening was somewhat advanced as the Bishop bade the Larkins
good-night and made his way over to the Rectory. He found Parson John
seated in a deep chair, gazing silently before him. Nellie was sitting
near reading, or trying to read. She greeted the Bishop with a bright
smile, drew up a chair for him to the pleasant fire, and took his hat and
coat.
"Have I kept you up, Nellie?" he asked. "Your father must be tired."
"No, no, my Lord," she replied. "It is not late yet. But you must be
tired."
"A little, my dear. The day has been somewhat trying."
From the time he had entered Parson John had kept his eyes fixed full upon
the Bishop's face with a mute, questioning look which spoke louder than
words. "What have you found out?" He seemed to be saying. "What stories
have they been telling about me? Who have been my foes and friends?"
"The vestry was converted into quite a court-room to-day," said the
Bishop, reading the questioning look in the parson's face. "There were
certainly several lively scenes, especially when Mrs. Stickles made her
appearance."
"You have reached a conclusion then, I suppose?" and Mr. Westmore leaned
eagerly forward.
"No, not yet. I cannot give my decision now. I want to think it carefully
over, and shall notify you by letter."
"I thank you, my Lord, for the trouble you have taken in the matter," and
the parson resumed his former position. "But I have been thinking deeply
since hearing these reports concerning me, and my mind is made up as to
the course I shall pursue."
"Indeed, and in what way?" queried the Bishop.
"To-morrow morning I shall hand to you my resignation of this parish."
The effect of these words was startling, and Nellie's face went very white
as she glanced quickly at her father.
"Do you mean it?" inquired the Bishop.
"Yes, my Lord. I have not come to this decision without much thought,
prayer, and struggle. I have been too blind. I forgot how old I am, though
God knows my heart is as young as ever. It's only natural that the people
of Glendow should desire a change; a man who will infuse new life into the
work, and draw in the wandering and indifferent ones. May God forgive me
that I did not think of it before!"
His head drooped low as he uttered these words, and the pathos of his
voice denoted the intensity of his feelings. It was impossible not to be
much moved at the figure of this venerable man, this veteran warrior of
his church, without one word of complaint, willing to relinquish all, to
give up the command to another, that the Master's work might be
strengthened. The Bishop was visibly affected, although he endeavoured to
conceal his emotion.
"Westmore," he replied, "I always believed you to be a noble man of God,
though I never knew it as I do to-night. But where will you go if you
leave Glendow? How will you live?"
"I am not worrying about that. He who has guided me all of these years;
He, who has given me strength for the battle, will not forsake me now in
my fourth and last watch when I am old and grey-headed. My brother and his
wife at Morristown have for years been urging us to pay them a long visit.
We will go to them, and stay there for a time. Perhaps the Master will
open to me some door in His vineyard that I may do a little more work ere
He take me hence. I have no means of my own, but the parish owes me six
months' salary, and no doubt the people will gladly pay it now to be rid
of me."
"Why not sell that farm you purchased?" suggested the Bishop. "It should
bring a fair price, and the money would keep you for some time. I cannot
place you on the Superannuated list at present, but there may be a vacancy
soon and the money from the sale of the farm will keep you until then."
"I can't sell the place, my Lord, it is impossible."
"But you bought it; it is yours."
"It's not mine to sell! It's not mine to sell!"
The look upon the old man's face and the pathos of his words restrained
the Bishop from saying more on the subject.
"And so you think you must go?" he remarked after a painful silence.
"Yes, I see nothing else to do."
"But remember all have not turned against you. See this list," and the
Bishop handed over the petition Mrs. Stickles had given him.
Eagerly the parson read the words, and scanned the names scrawled below.
"And did Mrs. Stickles do this?" he asked.
"Yes. She went up and down the parish for three days."
"God bless the woman!" murmured Mr. Westmore. "What a comfort this is to
me; to know that all have not deserted me. I did not expect it. But it
will not change my mind. My eyes have been suddenly opened to my own
inability to do the work. Another will do much better. I've explained
everything to you, my Lord, that I can explain, and about that horse-race,
too. It is better for me to go."
"Father," said Nellie, "let us go to Uncle Reuben's for a month or so. You
need a rest, and a vacation will do you good. Perhaps then you will see
things differently."
"Capital idea!" exclaimed the Bishop. "It's just the thing! Go to your
brother's and stay there for a month or two."
"But what about the parish? It will be left vacant the whole of that time.
If I resign a new Rector can take charge at once."
"Oh, I will arrange for that," responded the Bishop. "There is a young man
fresh from college who will be ordained shortly. I will send him here
during your absence. We will thus give the people a change, and then, no
doubt, they will be glad enough to have you back again."
Parson John sat for some time in deep meditation, while Nellie watched him
with an anxious face. The clock in the room ticked loudly, and the fire
crackled in the hearth.
"Very well," he assented at length with a deep sigh. "If you think it
best, my Lord, that this should be done I shall not oppose your wish. But
I am firmly convinced that it will be just the same as if I resigned. When
once the new man comes and begins the work, the people will not want their
old Rector back again. But, nevertheless, it will be all for the best. 'My
times are in His hands,' and I feel sure that ever 'underneath are the
Everlasting Arms.'"