_The Antichamber._
_Enter MRS. HALLER._
_Mrs. H._ What has thus alarmed and subdued me? My tears flow; my heart
bleeds. Already had I apparently overcome my chagrin: already had I at
least assumed that easy gaiety once so natural to me, when the sight of
this child in an instant overpowered me. When the Countess called him
William--Oh! she knew not that she plunged a poniard in my heart. I have
a William too, who must be as tall as this, if he be still alive. Ah!
yes, if he be still alive. His little sister too! Why, fancy, dost thou
rack me thus? Why dost thou image my poor children, fainting in
sickness, and crying to their mother? To the mother who has abandoned
them? [_Weeps._] What a wretched outcast am I! And that just to-day I
should be doomed to feel these horrible emotions! just to-day, when
disguise was so necessary.
_Enter CHARLOTTE._
_Char._ [_Entering._] Very pretty, very pretty indeed; better send me to
the garret at once. Your servant, Mrs. Haller. I beg, madam, I may have
a room fit for a respectable person.
_Mrs. H._ The chamber into which you have been shown is, I think, a very
neat one.
_Char._ A very neat one, is it? Up the back stairs, and over the
laundry! I should never be able to close my eyes.
_Mrs. H._ [_Very mildly._] I slept there a whole year.
_Char._ Did you? Then I advise you to remove into it again, and the
sooner the better. I'd have you to know, madam, there is a material
difference between certain persons and certain persons. Much depends
upon the manner in which one has been educated. I think, madam, it would
only be proper if you resigned your room to me.
_Mrs. H._ If the Countess desires it, certainly.
_Char._ The Countess! Very pretty, indeed! Would you have me think of
plaguing her ladyship with such trifles? I shall order my trunk to be
carried where-ever I please.
_Mrs. H._ Certainly; only not into my chamber.
_Char._ Provoking creature! But how could I expect to find breeding
among creatures born of one knows not whom, and coming one knows not
whence?
_Mrs. H._ The remark is very just.
_Enter PETER, in haste._
_Pet._ Oh lud! Oh lud! Oh lud! Oh lud!
_Mrs. H._ What's the matter?
_Pet._ The child has fallen into the river! His little Excellency is
drowned!
_Mrs. H._ Who? What?
_Pet._ His honour, my young master!
_Mrs. H._ Drowned?
_Pet._ Yes.
_Mrs. H._ Dead?
_Pet._ No; he's not dead.
_Mrs. H._ Well, well, then softly;--you will alarm the Countess.
_Enter the BARON._
_Bar._ What is the matter? Why all this noise?
_Pet._ Noise? why--
_Mrs. H._ Be not alarmed, my lord. Whatever may have happened, the dear
child is now at least safe. You said so, I think, master Peter?
_Pet._ Why, to be sure, his little Excellency is not hurt; but he's very
wet though: and the Count is taking him by the garden door to the
house.
_Bar._ Right, that the countess may not be alarmed. But tell us, young
man, how could it happen?
_Pet._ From beginning to end?
_Mrs. H._ Never mind particulars. You attended the dear child?
_Pet._ True.
_Mrs. H._ Into the park?
_Pet._ True.
_Mrs. H._ And then you went to the river?
_Pet._ True.--Why, rabbit it, I believe you're a witch.
_Mrs. H._ Well, and what happened further?
_Pet._ Why, you see, his dear little Excellency would see the bridge,
that father built out of the old summer house; and the streamers, and
the boat, and all that.--I only turned my head round for a moment, to
look after a magpie--crush! down went the bridge, with his little
Excellency; and oh, how I was scared to see him carried down the river!
_Bar._ And you drew him out again directly?
_Pet._ No, I didn't.
_Mrs. H._ No; your father did?
_Pet._ No, he didn't.
_Mrs. H._ Why you did not leave him in the water?
_Pet._ Yes, we did!--But we bawled as loud as we could; you might have
heard us down to the village.
_Mrs. H._ Ay--and so the people came immediately to his assistance.
_Pet._ No, they didn't: but the Stranger came, that lives yonder, close
to old Toby, and never speaks a syllable. Odsbodlikins! what a devil of
a fellow it is! With a single spring bounces he slap into the torrent;
sails and dives about and about like a duck; gets me hold of the little
angel's hair, and, Heaven bless him! pulls him safe and sound to dry
land again.--Ha! ha! ha!
_Bar._ Is the Stranger with them?
_Pet._ Oh lud! no. He ran away. His Excellency wanted to thank him, and
all that; but he was off; vanquished like a ghost.
_Enter SOLOMON._
_Sol._ Oh! thou careless varlet! I disown you! What an accident might
have happened! and how you have terrified his Excellency! But I beg
pardon, [_Bows._] His Right Honourable Excellency, the Count, requests
your--
_Bar._ We come. [_Exit, with MRS. HALLER._
_Char._ Ha! ha! ha! Why, Mr. Solomon, you seem to have a hopeful pupil.
_Sol._ Ah! sirrah!
_Char._ But, Mr. Solomon, why were you not nimble enough to have saved
his young lordship?
_Sol._ Not in time, my sweet Miss. Besides, mercy on us! I should have
sunk like a lump of lead: and I happened to have a letter of consequence
in my pocket, which would have been made totally illegible; a letter
from Constantinople, written by Chevalier--What's his name? [_Draws a
letter from his pocket, and putting it up again directly, drops it.
PETER takes it up, slily and unobserved._] It contains momentous
matter, I assure you. The world will be astonished when it comes to
light; and not a soul will suppose that old Solomon had a finger in the
pye.
_Char._ No, that I believe.
_Sol._ But I must go and see to the cellar. Miss, your most obedient
servant. [_Exit._
_Char._ [_With pride._] Your servant, Mr. Solomon.
_Pet._ Here's the letter from Constantinople. I wonder what it can be
about. Now for it! [_Opens it._
_Char._ Aye, let us have it.
Pet. [Reads.] _If so be you say so, I'll never work for you, never no
more. Considering as how your Sunday waistcoat has been turned three
times, it doesn't look amiss, and I've charged as little as any tailor
of 'em all. You say I must pay for the buckram; but I say, I'll be
damn'd if I do. So no more from your loving nephew,_
TIMOTHY TWIST.
From Constantinople! Why, cousin Tim writ it.
_Char._ Cousin Tim! Who is he?
_Pet._ Good lack! Don't you know cousin Tim? Why, he's one of the best
tailors in all--
_Char._ A tailor! No, sir, I do not know him. My father was state
coachman, and wore his highness's livery. [_Exit._
_Pet._ [_Mimicking._] "My father was state coachman, and wore his
Highness's livery"--Well, and cousin Tim could have made his Highness's
livery, if you go to that. State coachman, indeed! [_Going._
_Enter SOLOMON._
_Sol._ Peter, you ninny, stay where you are. Is that chattering girl
gone? Didn't I tell you we would have a practice of our dance? they are
all ready on the lawn. Mark me; I represent the Count, and you the
Baron. [_Exit, with affected dignity. PETER follows, mimicking._