to attack _Ireland_, but myself; however when I am out of Breath, you
shall be permitted to assist me now, and then. I must ingeniously own,
I see so many Mistakes in their ways of Thinking and Acting, that the
more I consider them, the more I look on _Ireland_, as in a dangerous
Condition. The first Thing I shall touch at, is that terrible want of
publick Spirit, which we are notoriously defective in; tho' like the
Pulse in the human Body, where it is wanting, Death is nigh! all
Countries are greatly help'd by this noblest Passion of the human Mind:
But this Island must be absolutely lost, without its Assistance. We are
so Circumstanced in several Views, that nothing can keep us above
Water, and much less make us flourish, but the whole of our Gentry,
joining one and all, to rouse themselves and the Nation, by encouraging
every Art, every additional Method of employing us, that they can
settle here. And yet how few have I known, who exerted themselves this
way, or seem'd to know it was their Interest, or to think it their
Duty. I remember in some Accounts of _Portugal_, I have met a Relation
of the vast Good that is done there, by the famous merciful Society, as
they call it very deservedly. It is composed of the most distinguish'd
Persons in the Kingdom, who all contribute their Quota's to the
relieving in a private Manner, all deserving People, (and Tradesmen
especially) who are in want. The Steward who is annually Chosen, is
always one of the most Illustrious of the Nobility; and cannot avoid
spending 5000 _l._ in these Charities, to come off with Honour, and
keep up the Glory of his Trust. Now I will venture to affirm, tho' we
have vastly the Superiority over _Portugal_, as to the Numbers of
Noblemen and Gentlemen of great Fortunes in _Ireland_; yet it wou'd be
a vain Attempt to endeavour to establish such a generous Society here.
This makes me Tremble for a People so deserted and neglected as ours;
for unless the Rich, and the Great, and the Powerful, give largely to
the Encouragement of Arts and Industry, and set Examples of Virtue and
Goodness, and a Love of their Country before us, there can be little
hopes of this or any other Nation, being made completely easy or happy.
Men of larger Fortunes, shou'd shew they have larger Hearts than
others, or they ought like the old _Romans_ to suffer a voluntary
Degradation, and descend from their State and mix with the meanest
_Plebeians_. If they Act so as to do Honour to their Ancestors, and
give shining Proofs of Truth, Piety, Worth and Benevolence; Numbers
will Copy them with Joy; but without this, we may as well expect an
Army will be brave, where the Generals, Colonels and Captains are
Cowards, as that a Nation shall shew publick Spirit, or be Virtuous,
Religious and Charitable, where their Superiors have opposite
Characters. Let all who are eminent for Wealth or Birth, or Parts,
seriously lay this to Heart, and consider how much the Immorality and
Misery, or the Virtue and Prosperity of their Country, is chargeable to
them and their Conduct; and it will not fail of stirring up a generous
Emulation, who shall be most distinguish'd, in assisting the whole of
our People, in Thinking and Acting better, and more nobly than they
have hitherto done.
PRIOR. That too few have Acted thus, must be acknowledg'd; but some
there have been among them, who have done Honour to their Families, and
raised their own Characters, by the applauded Parts they have Acted,
for the Service of their Country.
SWIFT. At the same Time, _Tom_, one wou'd wonder such Examples shou'd
not be more frequent; for how dreadful how contemptible a Figure, in
the sight of God and Man, must he make, who with the Advantages of
Birth, and Fortune, and Power, seems to labour to be remembred, Living
and Dead, only for being given up to the basest and most brutal Vices,
or at best for his senseless Splendour, by living like an _Epicure_, or
acting the Gamester, or for his great Stables or well-cover'd Table,
his well-fill'd Cellar, or to heighten his Character still higher, his
Debts and his Drabs. Such Men ruin and corrupt the World, by their
Examples; they sneer at Virtue and Sobriety, they make a Jest of loving
or serving this poor Island, and Ridicule the very Name of a Patriot;
and while they withhold their Contribution, to every good Design, they
make Sport of lavishing their Fortunes in Folly, and ruining their
Constitution by Vice, and they even Laugh at Religion, and shew an
equal Contempt for their God and their Country. It is odd, that few can
be Stupid enough not to see, that every Man's private Interest and
Happiness, let him be ever so great, is involv'd in that of the
Publick; and yet few or none will Labour to serve the Publick, so far
as to think for or support its Interest, whenever they have an
Opportunity. I labour'd to rouse it up amongst us, for a Number of
Years, to no Purpose, and I am apprehensive, that our best Ground to
hope, to see this Spirit revive here, is that Posterity may hereafter
exert it effectually, when they see this Island ruin'd; by the little
Regard that is shewn for it now. However I must say (if any Thing in
_Ireland_ were worth complaining about) that it is a little hard, we
must be Ruin'd before we are reform'd, just as Shipwrecks set up
Light-houses, to secure future Sailors in their Voyages. This wou'd
enrage one, _Tom_, if a noble Scorn did not cool our Fury.
PRIOR. These Thoughts disturb the Breasts of the Dead, as well as the
Passions of the Living; for it is certain if our higher People shew'd a
true publick Spirit, it wou'd produce vast Effects amongst us; it wou'd
stir up Invention, Industry and Emulation, and in a Word awaken every
Genius, every useful Man in this Kingdom. We have had very
extraordinary Persons Born and Educated here, and we wou'd have them
still, if our Leaders wou'd make use of that plain Method, by proper
Premiums to raise Seed-Beds and Nurseries for them, and use our Youth
to think, and to excell. How easily might they call out every one's
best Qualities, to the properest Purposes, and encourage every Man, who
finds he has the Seeds of Virtue, the Power of Thinking and Acting for
himself or others, and a proper force of Mind, to try how far his
Abilities can go. If this can't be brought about, and if for want of
such a miserable Stock of common Sense and common Virtue in _Ireland_,
we are to be left to ourselves, and employ'd in doing nothing but
making a little Linen, I can only say, we are the most negligent and
neglected People under Heaven.
SWIFT. Ah _Tom! Tom!_ what must we think of our Physicians, where our
Diseases are so dangerous and are yet so manageable, and where the
Remedies are so easy and parable? Where nothing but slighting our
Disorders can make our Cure doubtful, and where they give over the
Patient barely for want of being feed? What must become of a Country,
where about 600,000 _l._ of its Rents are annually spent Abroad, by a
Crowd of Parricides, which we call Absentees; where as much more is
spent at home, in foreign Growths or Manufactures by _Irish_ Suicides,
and the rest is laid out in Dress and Equipage, in Gaming and Drinking,
and Horse-Racing, except a Pittance that is scrambled for, by our
Labourers and Workmen to buy Potatoes and Whisky, and once in a Month,
half a Peck of Meal for the Children of the Nation. What will become of
a Kingdom, whose Manufactures are the Scorn of its own Inhabitants; who
will not Drink of their own Liquors, write on their own Paper, or be
fed with their own Bread, as I observ'd before, and can't observe too
often: Nay, where the Poor by giving into these fine Fashions, seem as
well inclin'd to destroy us as the Rich? What must become of a Nation
of Beggars, and none to relieve them? What must become of a Country,
where the common People make as much Interest, to be put on the List of
the Parish Poor, and be authorized to Starve upon Charity; as their
Landlords, and 'Squires do to get a Place or a Sallary, to make amends
to them, for outrunning their Fortunes, and to appear like dignified
Beggars, who for ruining themselves and the Nation, are Nursed at the
publick Charge, as the _Athenians_ used to keep their true Patriots, in
the _Areopagus_ on Pension, when old and reduced in their Service.
PRIOR. Why indeed, Mr. _Dean_----
SWIFT. Indeed, _Tom_, I have not done, nor I won't be interrupted. I
say what will become of a Nation, where we are charg'd so immensely for
unbuilt or ill-built Barracks, for our Soldiers which we cannot use,
which we did not want; and where we won't lay out a necessary Expence
to build Houses of Correction, that wou'd force every Idler to Labour,
and tho' we know that Idleness is the Seed of Rebellion? What will
become of a Nation, where we spend immensely to ruin it, and grudge
laying out a few Shillings, or the smallest Tax to serve it, by
encouraging our People to Labour and be Industrious? Where we are grown
so heedless and unthinking, that our political Creed, must be as often
repeated in our Ears, as our Religious one, before we will take care to
understand, or shew we believe it by our Practice? Where we are so
notoriously Dull, or so artificially Insensible, that we must be told
our true Interest a thousand Times over, before we'll regard it, or
where those who know our true Interest best, will Sacrifice it either
to their Vanity, Ease, Pleasure or Ambition, or at least to their
giddy, senseless, Carelessness? What must become of a Kingdom, where we
are grown so resign'd, that we no more offer to complain of the
hardness of our Case, if two or three honest Gentlemen bid us hold our
Tongue, than a dying Man against the Will of Heaven? Where we either
seem to have lost the Sense of Groaning by the length of our Distemper,
or by knowing from long Experience, it will be in vain; or else that we
fear bawling, as in the House of Correction, will but increase the
Blows, both as to Number and Smart. Where People keep their Tongues in
their Pockets, as Highway-Men do their Pistols, never to be pull'd out
but in hopes of getting Money; and where so many, of our most eminent
Guardians and Representatives, command Men to be silent and quiet and
bear all, as the Executioner said to Don [4]_Carlos_, when he was
struggling to hinder his being Strangled, ''Tis for your good Don
_Carlos_! be quiet, 'tis for your Good!' Nay what will become of a
Nation, where whoever Attempts to help it, is either mark'd out for
Destruction, as I was by a certain Lord Chief Justice, or revil'd and
hated.
[4] _The King of_ Spain_'s son put to Death privately by his
Order._
PRIOR. There _Dean_, you must give me leave to say, you certainly go
too far, to hate our Benefactors is not in human Nature.
SWIFT. Whether 'tis in human Nature I know not, but I am sure 'tis in
_Ireland_; for I found myself hated there sincerely by different
People, and for different Reasons. I was actually hated, by all who
cou'd help it, but would not or durst not, and by all who wou'd help it
themselves and knew not how, and abhorr'd to have it done by others. I
was hated by all who long'd to hurt it, but as they cou'd not, detested
those that hindered them, and by all who do not Care to have great
Examples set them, which they are not fond of following, and lastly by
all who neither love any Thing or any body but themselves, their
Interests or Pleasures, and who had as believe talk of serving Heaven
as their Country. Indeed the common People who come not under these
Distinctions, lov'd me well enough to Drink my Health, especially, when
I gave them the Liquor; and I doubt not wou'd have accompanied me to
the Gallows, with many a zealous Prayer, if I had been Hanged for
Writing for them. But at the same Time my Character was revil'd and
attack'd with a Number of scandalous Stories, and my Zeal and my
Patriotism exposed to Derision; and I was so far from having any Regard
shewn me by my Governors, that in a Country where Numbers get Pensions
for nothing, and Places for Services that were never done, I was not
once offer'd any additional Preferment to my Deanery, and I scorn'd or
rather detested not only to Ask, but even to Wish for it, as I vow'd to
you before. Most Nations indeed are but too apt to be thankless to
their Deliverers, but this above all others, and the _Comperit invidiam
supremo fine domari_, I found too often verified in myself and my
Interests; and my Character too frequently and too barbarously insulted
when Living; and now when I am laid in my Grave, they are grudging
their Half-Crowns, to raise me a Monument, that will not last as many
Months, as I writ Pages for them.
PRIOR. It is an Happiness, if the World proves ungrateful to the great
and excellent Persons, who serve and adorn the Age that is blest with
them, that they have a scorn for the Opinions of Men, or even their
Love or their Hatred, their Preferments, or Honours. It is but a poor
Sentiment of the illustrious _Xenophon_'s, 'That Praise is sweet to
those, who are Conscious they deserve it;' for on the contrary, I
believe most of those, who truly deserve Praise, have look'd on it as
the poorest and lowest Reward of well-doing. Great Minds who aim in
their best Actions at the Glory of their Maker, and the pleasing that
Author of all Good, by labouring to imitate him here below, have
superior Views, and do not only look down with a generous Disdain on
the Applause of others, as it is really trivial and mean, but also as
they know, they never receive it pure, but dash'd with the Malice of
Detractors, and the Spleen of those little Souls, who Envy them. As
they are Deaf to their Praise, so great Minds from their natural
Superiority, bear the Malice of their Enemies with equal Indifference,
and strive to Copy after him whom they serve, by smiling at, and
over-looking the base Ingratitude of those they have done Good to. I am
sensible, _Dean_, as even your Donations will survive both the World
and your own Name, you know from whom to expect your Wages, and when
they will be paid you; but really when one considers, what wretched
wicked, senseless, Mortals crowd this World, it wou'd make one, out of
Countenance to be actuated merely by a Love to themselves and
Descendants, without any Regard to him, who has commanded us to assist
and befriend them.
SWIFT. I agree with you entirely; I have observed and studied Mankind
too long, not to know the _animali Initus & in Cute_, and to look on
their Service as perfect Slavery. I have lov'd some odd Men in my Time,
but the whole Race in a Lump, are a dreadful Carnage of Sins and
Infirmities, Errors and Failings, Reason and Passion, that make a kind
of Twilight in the best Understandings, that is neither Day nor Night,
Knowledge or Ignorance, Vice or Virtue; but a kind of Olio of them all.
Even the highest Characters have their weak-sides, and the most
refin'd, their Defects and their Failures, with all the Infirmities
which Flesh is heir to, and this World where we dwell is apt to taint
Men with. Nay I must tell you in some Verses of mine, which never fell
into _Faulkner_'s Hands,
_Prone to all Ill, the Flesh still warps the Soul,
Hung like a Byass on the devious Bowl.
This gives a worldly Cast to all we do,
Tho' Patriots, Heroes, Saints,----we're Sinners too!
Tho' some quite faultless in their Lives appear,
Yet chain'd to this infectious Dungeon here,
Men small of Earth, like Pris'ners of their Jail,
And tainted from the Womb, the best are Frail!_
This is poor Poetry, _Tom_, but they are honest Thoughts, and such
(Death has taught me that Lesson) are worth all the Wit in the World.
But I shall quit this Subject, to return to another fear I have for the
Prosperity of _Ireland_, and that is the terrible and senseless
Factions, that divide our unfortunate Countrymen. The first great
Division among them, is their Disputes about spiritual Matters, as
Protestants and Papists. It is not the Danger to the State that alarms
me, for that is quite over; but the Indisposition to Unity and mutual
Affection; by which means the Kingdom is lessen'd in its force and
weight, while we seem to drag like a Man in a Palsy, one half of our
Body after the other, which ought to co-operate with it.
PRIOR. I must add to what you mention, Mr. _Dean_, that it is a
terrible Circumstance, to be surrounded by Catholick Neighbours, who
many of them think they wou'd do God good Service, if they extirpated
Heresy out of this Island; and therefore till we can get Priests with
better Principles, or remove such inhuman Prejudices, by giving their
People better Opinions, than that they ought to persecute a Protestant
with Fire and Sword; we shall ever be a feeble disunited Nation. We to
this Hour suffer under a loss of Blood and Spirits, from former Wars,
Rebellions and Massacres; but as it is probable they will every Day, be
less bigotted, and as their living and conversing so much with the
Protestants, and their going into their ways of Thinking and Living,
has taken off the Edge of their Animosity; one wou'd hope we shall be
in no Danger from such Accidents hereafter.
SWIFT. I wish and believe it, _Tom_, in Charity; yet still their
Religion, and their superstitious Pilgrimages, Nunneries, Holidays, (as
we discoursed already) make them lazy and indolent; and their yearly
Lents, and weekly Fasts, indispose if they do not disable their
labouring Poor to Work as much as their Wants require; the spiritual
Taxes which they pay their numerous Clergy, of all Denominations, who
in the Words of the Prophet, 'Eat up the Sins of the People, keep them
very low, and unable, as well as unwilling to join us in serving the
Nation; and their Language and Manners tho' improv'd, yet still
continue such a Difference between us and them, as must long keep us
disjointed, and therefore broken in our Strength as a Community. At
present we make a shift to live Civily together, but are so far from
being closely United, as by Care and Management we might be; that we
seem like some married Couples, to be rather yoak'd together by Law,
than tied by mutual Affection. But I shall pass over this great Source
of Dissention among us, as much as it hurts us, to take Notice of
another ill-omen'd Circumstance to our Welfare, and that is the
terrible Parties and Factions among Protestants, which also quite
enervate our Force as a Nation. I remember when I liv'd in _England_,
in the four last stormy Years of Queen _Ann_'s Reign, I made a few
Verses, (tho' I never Printed them for fear of Lord _Bollinbroke_) on
High and Low Church, which may be applied to _Ireland_ on this Occasion.
_For as two Sawyers in a Pit,
Toiling a massy Beam to Slit,
A like their Skill and Prowess show,
While one draws High and t'other Low.
So_ WHIG _and_ TORY, BRITAIN _tear
Asunder, and her Strength impair.
While Factions all their Arts renew,
To cut the Nation into Two._
This will ever weaken all Governments tho' never so strongly cemented
otherwise; but in _Ireland_ it must add Ruin to our natural
Infirmities.
PRIOR. It is very true, and yet we cherish Factions as if we were to
thrive by them, tho' they prey on the Vitals of our Country, but I
believe there is no Nation in _Europe_, that acts so much against her
own Welfare as _Ireland_, or suffers more remarkably by it. The great
Maxim of its being madness to Trust Men's Promises and Engagements, but
that we are quite safe to Trust their real Interests, seldom holds true
in _Ireland_, for here you may trust Men's Words safely in most Things,
but they are scarce ever to be depended on, where you wou'd imagine the
Interest of the Kingdom secures them to you. It is strange to consider
the Violence also with which they Act against each other, for if some
hot People had their Will, they wou'd in their Contests hang up one
third of the Nation on ill Reports, and then on the least Turn of the
Tide, when they cool, they are as ready to String up all their beloved
Informers, as Slanderers; if that general Inclination People have to
listen to Malice, did not prevail on them to spare them.
SWIFT. One wou'd imagine where so much Passion is shewn, that they
wrangled for something very Important; but as it is observ'd, that none
are so litigious as the Poor, because they have but little to lose, so
our People keep up the heat of their Parties (which if it cools, like
that of a Glass-House all Work stops) by every Trifle, by every Word,
by every Doubt, that can give the least Colour for a Difference. In a
high Sea and a weak crazy Ship, one wou'd suppose there shou'd be no
Dispute in the Crew, but who shou'd stop the Leaks and ply the Pumps
fastest; but we mind every Thing but our safety, which we sacrifice to
our ardour for Noise and Wrangling, and prefer our Resentments to our
Lives. If our great Partisans of both Sides, disputed, who shou'd serve
their Country most essentially, or who shou'd promote the Tillage or
Manufactures of the Kingdom in the best Manner, it wou'd make us the
happiest of Nations. This wou'd be as noble a Contention of our
Demagogues, as that of the _Horatii_ and _Curiatii_, for the Grandeur
and Glory of _Rome_ and _Alba_, and wou'd end like that in
Reconcilement and Peace. If any Thing cou'd calm or unite us, the
single Reflection wou'd do it, that if the joint force and weight of
the Nation, was employ'd in pushing on its true Interests, (whenever
they came to be debated) nothing cou'd withstand or endanger them. But
we break our Strength, by crumbling into mean Divisions, petty
Interests and private Views; and while every one's Charity begins at
home, the Publick is beggar'd and no one relieves it. The general
Welfare is quite over-look'd, while low-minded Wretches are taking Care
of their particular Advantages; and I have ever observ'd that when
Places and Pensions and Preferments were settled, the real Business of
the Nation and its Parties, was thought to be as providentially
adjusted, as that of a Match between two Families, when the Portion and
Jointures, and Provisions for younger Children were agreed on. In
short, _Tom_, the Misery of our Case is, that the good of our Country,
like the Happiness of another Life, is oftner talk'd of for shew, than
pursued in reality.
PRIOR. Indeed _Dean_, I have very long regarded, our Contentions and
Parties in this Kingdom, in the same Light you do, and that instead of
ever keeping in View the great Interests of _Ireland_, Men bawl out
their Country! their Country! and mean nothing but themselves,
advancing their Leaders, and thereby securing proper Emoluments, for
every little Slave and Hireling that join with them. But what is most
surprizing is, that while People are so cool to the Publick Interests,
and to Things of the highest Importance; they are furious for Trifles,
and every Imagination, every Guess, every nothing will set their
Passions in a Flame.
SWIFT. I have often lamented that Circumstance, as to this poor Island.
In truth, _Tom_, our Divisions and Factions here, are frequently as
silly as those of two Gamesters, who tho' they play for nothing, will
Quarrel dreadfully about cutting and dealing the Cards, and winning the
Game. I am asham'd to say it, but the Contests and brawling of Children
at their Push-pin, are sometimes substantial Things, to the Jangles and
Feuds, I have known our Parties on some Occasions contend about, and
alas! all we get by it, is to give our Enemies Pleasure, and our
Friends Despair, while they see our wretched Country, quite forgot in
the Squabble, and nothing but Power and Places, private Gain and sordid
Interests attended to. But I will dwell no longer on this melancholy
Subject, which looks so ill for this poor Kingdom, and I will now go to
another Topick, in which the Conduct of our Countrymen is altogether as
blameable, and is as fatal a Proof of their Coldness to the publick
Interests; and that is their strange Neglect in finishing our Northren
Canal, and completing our Collieries in _Tyrone_.
PRIOR. I can never think of the scandalous Mismanagements in both those
Affairs, without Shame and Concern. They are a Disgrace to our Country,
either as to the Honesty or the Skillfulness of the Undertakers, as to
different Parts of the Works relating to the Canal, and also as to the
conducting the Design, and disbursing the Money employed on the
Collieries.
SWIFT. We are not only the slowest Thinkers of what will do us Good,
but we are the most slothful also, in bringing such Thoughts into
Execution. The _Newry_ Canal has been carried on, under the Sanction of
an Act of Parliament, and the Superintendance of the Navigation-board
above twenty Years: And tho' in _Holland_, such a Work wou'd have been
finish'd in half the Time, and by superior Skill, Oeconomy, and
Honesty, at half the Expence; yet, after laying out immense Sums, there
are still many Thousands wanting to make it a truly finish'd Affair. As
with much ado we found out, that our own Hills abounded with the
noblest Coal in the World, and that our Poverty forced us to consider,
that we paid on an Average about 60000 _l._ a Year for _Whitehaven_
Coal, the Nation at last undertook making the Canal from _Lough Neagh_,
to the Sea, in Hopes they wou'd turn that vast Drain of Money, when we
cou'd stop it, to better Purposes at home. Accordingly great Funds were
assigned it, and an infinite Number of Hands and Heads (or People that
wore Heads) employed on it for a long Space of Time; and yet after vast
Sputter, erring and re-erring, correcting and re-correcting, and
expending near 60000 _l._ the Work is far from being compleated; nor
can we yet say we are secure of our Canal or our Coal. Much has been
promis'd, and yet by Mismanagements or Misfortunes, and different
Obstacles, little has been done to answer the Expectations that were
raised; and tho' we were assured we shou'd in a few Years have at least
20000 Ton of Coals brought every Year to _Dublin_, to help our Poor, we
have not yet got 500.
PRIOR. I cannot account for the Disappointment, and it well deserves
the Nation's Enquiry. If, as I heard good Judges say, the Work could
have been finish'd in five Years Time, what have we lost, who for the
last fifteen Years, have paid such vast Sums to _Whitehaven_, that we
might have saved? And how much better had we managed, had we laid out
double what it has cost us at the first, and cut short both our Loss
and our Trouble?
SWIFT. Very true; but instead of this, they have, with true _Irish_
Policy, contrived to give large Sallaries to some Favourites to carry
on the Work, and thus, in Effect, brib'd them to delay the Undertaking
they were hired to finish. Thus these Plotters against themselves sink
this noble, generous Design, into a low, miserable Job, and instead of
assisting the Kingdom, they provide for five or six Families, that live
comfortably on protracting the Execution. If the Colliery Company,
whose Interest it is to finish the Canal, wou'd undertake the
completing it, and fix the Terms with the Navigation-Board, we shou'd
soon see the Matters well mended; but till that is done, we shall get
nothing but half-work for double Time, and treble Charges.