Management of Children—Air, Warmth, Ablution, Clothing,
Postures, Feeding, Food—Teething—Teaching to Walk—Early
Education—Purity of Language in the Presence of Children—Unity
of Parental Influence.
Among the many duties a woman is called upon to fulfil, surely none
can be deemed of such paramount importance as those she owes to her
children. Now it is by no means our intention to write a chapter of
“advice to mothers,” nor enter upon the subject of the education and
general management of little people; all we have to do with the matter
here is to notice it as forming a branch of our subject; for the nursery
is an important part of a house, and upon its good management much of the
comfort, as well as the health and well-being, of every member of the
family will depend.
If ever a woman has need of thought, care, and patience, it is when she
becomes a mother. Who can look upon that most helpless of all created
beings—a new-born infant—and not feel pity for it, interest in it; and
surely no mother can bestow her first kiss on the little unconscious
innocent without feeling some sense of the responsibilities which now
rest on her—for it is not only a human being, but an immortal soul which
is committed to her charge?
Wherever such an arrangement can be made, a good-sized airy room should
be set apart for the nursery, and always kept scrupulously clean, well
ventilated, and of an even, wholesome temperature. Warmth is highly
necessary to the health of infants and young children—but not the warmth
of a close, over-heated room, for that oppresses their lungs, and makes
them delicate and very susceptible of cold. Let the child be comfortably
clad, and a natural temperature of body thus maintained. The health of
very many infants is impaired by the foolish custom of exposing their
little chests and arms by finely worked low bodies and very short
sleeves, tied up so as effectually to render them useless in the way of
covering. Very young children have so little natural heat, that they
absolutely require that the temperature of their bodies should be kept
up, by means of clothing, to a proper standard.
Next to warmth, in the category of matters indispensable to health is
cleanliness. Morning and night, an infant or a child under three years of
age, should be bathed in tepid water in winter, and cold water in summer.
This operation should be performed both thoroughly and quickly, and then
the whole body wiped quite dry with a soft towel, and the limbs and back
gently rubbed with the hand. The skin of an infant is so delicate that
a little dirt, a slight accumulation of powder, any dampness, any rough
handling or friction with any coarse cloth, will break or crack it, and
often produce a humour which is not easily got rid of. The clothes of an
infant, and especially those in immediate contact with its body, should
be soft and clean. Its bed-clothes must likewise be kept well aired, and
free from damp and unpleasant smells.
Very young children should be kept, as much as possible, in a recumbent
posture; the less a child is allowed to sit upright for the first six
months, the stronger will be its back afterwards. Too strong a light is
prejudicial to young children; neither in-doors nor out should their eyes
be exposed to anything like glare; they ought likewise to be shielded
from high winds. Sleep is a great strengthener of children, when it is
natural, and care should be taken that they lie comfortably as regards
position; be warm, and sheltered from all draughts, and from light,
though allowed sufficient air. In all things endeavour to establish
regular habits from the very first; regular hours for feeding, sleeping,
dressing, and undressing, should be observed. Few people can form an idea
how much their own comfort and the child’s well-being will be advantaged
by this. Of course, every now and then illness, or some unforeseen event,
will interfere with this system, but it must be resumed again as soon
as possible. We are aware that many people will deem this regularity
unnecessary, but from the cradle to the grave we are all more or less
the creatures of habit; and from the time a child first begins to take
notice, its habits may be said to commence.
When a child is fed, it should be from a proper bottle, and with light
thin food, not given too hot, or in large quantities. Farinaceous
substances of various kinds are best adapted for children of tender age.
For the first twelvemonth these may be given in a fluid and semi-fluid
state, and afterwards in the shape of puddings either baked or boiled.
Many children will not take meat, and they do not appear to thrive less
than others; nature, at this early age is generally the best pilot, and
we shall seldom greatly err if we follow her lead.
The period of teething is always one of anxiety, and requires additional
care and watchfulness; but plenty of fresh air, good and sufficient,
but not over-feeding, and an occasional warm bath or gentle aperient
when there appears to be a tendency to fever, will in most cases ward
off serious evils. The less physic a child takes the better, in a
general way—not that we would advise mothers ever to slight any actual
premonitory symptoms of illness, infantine diseases being frequently very
rapid in their course.
There is no occasion to teach children to walk; when they are strong
enough, they will invariably find out the proper use of their feet; let
them lie on the floor, and then sit, and then crawl, and by-and-bye they
will stand up, and then walk along, holding by something; and then, when
they appear capable of doing yet more, encourage them to venture alone,
but watch carefully that they do not fall, or they may be frightened, and
thrown back for some weeks.
After a child is a year old, it must cease to be regarded as an
irrational being by those about it; a quick, lively baby is always taking
notice; its intelligence is becoming daily and hourly developed;—in a
word, the first rudiments of education are entering its little mind. This
may sound extravagant and fanciful, but what says proverbial philosophy?
“With his mother’s milk the child drinketh education;” and let any one
take three children of from a year-and-a-half to two years old, one of
the three shall have been brought up by a quiet or ignorant nurse, one
by an affectionate and sensible mother, and the other among a family
of children; the first, unless it be a prodigy, will be far behind the
second in quickness, and the third will be as much before the second.
We would censure any one who mispronounced words before babies, or taught
them to call things or animals by ridiculous names; and we would doubly
censure any one who instilled fear into the hearts of young children by
threats of “bogies,” “black men,” and such like nursery monsters. Many
a grown man and woman has found it difficult to overcome the dislike
to darkness implanted in them, when quite children, by some nursery
bug-bears. Teach a child rather to believe that angels watch over it,
induce it to be good from a fear of grieving its parents, but never
destroy or sully that sweet confidence which is the most blessed part of
childhood. Never tell a child a falsehood either; if you promise a thing,
do it; if you say a thing, act up to it. Empty threats and vain promises
made to quiet a child, teach it afterwards, in its turn, to disregard
truth, and make it distrust those whom, next to God, it should love and
honour; whereas “example is a constant monitor.”
We are not advocates for “cramming” children too early with crude dry
learning; but much may be taught without effort. “Line upon line” may
be instilled by such simple stories, such pleasant gossip as children
love to listen to, such bright pictures as they delight to look upon and
have explained to them. There is in the present age a royal road to all
the fundamental instruction needed by children for the first eight or
ten years of their lives; the dull, uninteresting paths we had to tread
are now decked with so many flowers that they have become attractive and
pleasant. Even the very toys and games are made the means of improvement;
and history, arithmetic, and geography may now be learned as actual
amusements.
The physical wants of growing children are a sufficiency of good plain
food at regular hours, exercise in the open air, well-ventilated rooms,
clothing warm enough to promote health, and sufficiently easy in fit
not to impede growth or a free use of the limbs; strong shoes or boots
to protect the feet from damp, and a proper allowance of sleep taken at
regular hours,—no child under six years of age being suffered to sit up
after eight o’clock, and all under twelve being safely in bed by nine.
Late hours, hot crowded places, as theatres, &c., and children’s parties,
are all very destructive of health; irregularities of all kinds are to
be avoided,—as, too long walks, any great excitement, or over-fatigue;
for growing children require all their strength and energies for
natural purposes, and, being more excitable than grown persons, exhaust
themselves the sooner.
Those who live much among children should carefully purify their every
thought, word, and action,—for the ductile and impressionable nature
of a child, chameleon-like, takes its hue from that of the characters
which surround it. “The seeds of first instructions are dropped into the
deepest furrows;” therefore we cannot omit this chapter of our “Thoughts
and Maxims.”
If we would cultivate a flower with success, we plant it in a fitting
soil, we water it at proper times, we give to it its due proportion of
air and sun; shall we not equally study the constitution and physical
requirements of a child, in order to bestow upon it the requisite
nurture? for children, like flowers, require care—all are not equally
hardy, equally vigorous, equally beautiful. Some resemble hot-house
plants, and are frail and delicate; others, like the evergreen, can bear
and brave hardship and change of temperature. The system which would be
suitable for one of these natures would be injurious to the other—hence,
judgment is needful.
A child who fears God and honours his parents, is armed for the world’s
warfare with a breast-plate, which, if not invulnerable, at least will
turn aside many an arrow. Our favourite Tupper quaintly but truly
says:—“When his reason yieldeth fruit, make thy child thy friend, for a
filial friend is double gain, a diamond set in gold. As an infant thy
mandate was enough; as he grows in years, let him hear thy reasons.”
Believe me, we wantonly trifle not only with our own happiness, but with
that of those little ones committed to our charge, when we neglect to
watch over the treasures we ought so dearly to prize, when we trifle with
the hearts, minds, and souls of our children, ignoring their value, our
responsibility, and the awful reckoning which will be required of us. We
are all too apt to treat children as dolls, to dress and caress them one
hour, and send them out of our way the next, not deeming that beneath the
seeming thoughtless gaiety of those little ones there lurks a world of
feeling and sensibility. Kindness is as necessary to them as daily food.
We do not mean false indulgence, but considerate kindness. An unjust, a
cold or harsh word or action, especially if undeserved, penetrates the
heart of a child with as keen a sting as it does ours; and who shall
say how many have grown up callous and reckless from having their first
affections blunted, their feelings and wishes disregarded? Consistent
practice is worth a whole world of precept, and example will influence
while words or coercion are fruitless.
Once more, then, we would beg “our housewife” to study what are her
duties towards children. We would entreat mothers so to train their
daughters that they may never have cause to blush and tremble for their
grandchildren. It is no figure of speech to say that “the child is father
of the man;” study diligently, therefore, how best
“—to render the tender thought,
To teach the young idea how to shoot;
To pour fresh instruction o’er the mind,
To breathe the enlivening spirit, and to fix
The generous purpose in the glowing breast.”
Nor let children, who should be our blessings, become our torments:
“While young our folly, and when old our fear.”
Lastly, but not least in importance in the good training of children, it
should be rigidly observed by parents never to show any difference of
opinion in their treatment before them. Nothing can be more pernicious
to their moral culture, engendering in them habits of disobedience, for
they cannot obey one parent without disobeying the other. We earnestly
recommend attention to this observance, for, besides the evil of
disobedience that is almost sure to follow a difference in opinion from
those in authority over the child, the latter is sometimes prone to
disregard the instructions and admonitions of both, and set up principles
of his own more in accordance with his inclinations, however erroneous
they may be.