Order, Cleanliness, Punctuality—Early
Rising—Temperance in Meats and
Drinks—Ventilation—Bed-rooms—Nurseries—Light—Influence of
Good Management upon Domestic Love and Happiness—The Dinner
Question—Going to Market—Dinner Parties—Evening Parties.
In the realm which our housewife is to govern, order, cleanliness,
punctuality and economy must be the fundamental principles which, by
precept and practice, she endeavours to enforce. It matters little
whether her subjects are limited to a single maid-of-all-work, or general
servant, as it is now the fashion to call this class of domestic, or
whether she reigns over two, three, or more “helps,” the principle must
still be the same; a certain routine of daily and weekly duties must
be laid down, and it lies with the mistress to see that not only these
are performed properly, but that all incidental matters are likewise
attended to. However wealthy a family may be, they are not willing that
their houses and furniture should be injured by neglect or mismanagement,
therefore must care be taken. Money can enable a man to hire more
domestics, but it cannot secure that these persons shall be cleanly,
diligent, trustworthy, and painstaking; it cannot secure him from the
consequences of their ignorance, their carelessness, their extravagance.
Nothing but the supervision of the mistress, or a good housekeeper, can
do this. If, then, a rich man, who can pay the best wages, and hire the
most experienced servants, finds still that he lacks something, how much
more so will one of moderate income or of limited means suffer, should he
not find in his wife a _practical_ housewife?
What I am now about to say, some of my readers may perhaps think out of
place; nevertheless I shall say it. A woman cannot really do her duty as
a wife, mother, or mistress of a family, unless she is fully sensible
of the importance of health, and gives to all sanitary measures their
due attention. With loss of health come diminished powers of usefulness.
Languor and delicacy in a wife may call forth the sympathies, but do
not increase the comforts or happiness of a professional or business
man; neither do they render a woman more inclined for, or equal to, the
performance of her part in domestic life. And too many of our young girls
render themselves languid, feeble, and delicate, by inattention to the
commonest requisites of human nature. The crying evil of towns is usually
the want of baths attached to houses, and the small size of bed-rooms;
now these are in general accepted as things which must be endured, and
little or no attempt is made to palliate them. All medical men, however,
agree that plentiful ablutions of the body with cold or tepid water, and
a good supply of fresh air in every sleeping and living room, do more
to preserve health than all the drugs in the pharmacopœia. And next to
these come early rising, avoidance of late hours and crowded assemblies,
regular exercise in the open air, and attention to diet. By this latter
we do not mean actual eating, but abstinence from pernicious viands,
as pastry, sweetmeats, rich gravies, unripe fruit, &c. Pork, veal, and
various kinds of vegetables can only be eaten sparingly and occasionally
by some persons. Spirits should only be used medicinally, that is to say,
at times when common sense tells us they might be of benefit. To take
them habitually is equivalent to slow poison.
Besides the benefit a woman derives in her health and person from
attention to all matters relative to personal care, she will gain another
in the effect of her example upon her dependants; for we are all, to a
certain extent, creatures of imitation, and prone to follow example,
be it good or bad. Servants who see before them one who consistently
practises the virtues of economy, regularity, personal cleanliness, and
general neatness, will never run diametrically counter to all this,
but will in some degree shape their conduct accordingly; while all the
precepts in the world, without practice, will but go in at one ear and
out at the other.
Where only one or two servants are kept, the mistress will do well
not to leave her chamber before she has opened her windows and laid
the bed-clothes back over two chairs, so as to ensure the sheets and
blankets, heated by the contact with the body all night, being well aired
and cooled. No bed should be made, or night-dress folded up, until it
has been aired, and suffered thoroughly to cool for at least two hours.
Nurseries should be aired while the children are at breakfast, and while
they are taking their morning walk. Dining and drawing-rooms require a
current of fresh air passed through them at least once every day, to
dislodge all the vitiated air tainted by the smell of food, flowers, &c.,
and by having been inhaled by those using the rooms. Many of our readers
have doubtless been struck, on entering some houses, by the close, faint,
unwholesome smell they, coming from the fresh air, at once perceive.
Those who dwell in it habitually are not conscious of it. They dread the
chill of fresh air, or the dust or smuts it will bring with it into their
rooms; and therefore shut it carefully out, and cherish in its stead
a species of slow poison—a heavy atmosphere loaded with all sorts of
pernicious gases.
Light, too, is another forbidden luxury in some houses. Heavy Venetian
blinds jealously protect the delicate hues of the curtains and carpets
from its influence, and the inmates consequently fade, instead of the
upholstery; for a human being can no more do without light than can a
flower, and we only need place this latter in a cellar for a few days,
and we shall see how it will look. It must not, however, be supposed
that we would recklessly suffer the noonday sun to shine on our damask
curtains or tapestry carpets, or that we should open our windows when
rain, hail, or snow beat full upon them; all we wish to do is to advise
such a use of God’s choicest gifts as health requires, and common sense
dictates.
Nor is it only with a view to exercising a salutary influence upon her
domestics, and strengthening herself, that we would counsel our housewife
to pay strict attention to all matters of sanitary importance. A female
writer of some celebrity has said—“If before marriage a woman has been
deluded into the notion that a multiplicity of small ailments invested
her character with an interesting kind of delicacy, the sooner she
becomes well after marriage the better for herself and all around her.”
Now we do not intend to assert that there are not many men who are
unwearied in their tenderness in time of illness; but this we must say,
that there are thousands more who “vote sickness a bore,” who have little
sympathy with, little tolerance for it; who married to have a cheerful
companion, not a drooping, languid invalid to come home to; and who soon
begin to seek elsewhere that companionship and that cheerfulness they
have failed to find at home. And alas! when a man’s love has once been
dimmed, or alienated from his wife, it never wholly recovers its lost
lustre, but remains a mere mechanical matter of duty or honour, and
too often not even that. Matrimony may bind a man to his wife legally,
but herself only can retain her empire over his heart; and to do this,
she will need even more than her former charms, and attractions, and
fascination, besides a vast variety of other attributes which her new
position will require of her. Our great poet, Shakspere, says—
“Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee
And for thy maintenance—commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
While thou ly’st warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience.”
Women little dream what they peril when, after marriage, they neglect
the accomplishments, the tasteful dress and adornments, the charming
_coquetterie_ of manner which enthralled the lover. They not only risk
their happiness, for it depends on him, but they neglect what ought to
be their highest ambition—that of proving how much dearer is the wife
than the mistress, and of rendering home a refuge from cares, a scene of
tranquil happiness, social enjoyment, and real comfort.
* * * * *
There are few things more perplexing at first to young housewives than
the momentous question of dinner. Now, a good cookery book, a short walk
round the region where the marketing is done, and a knowledge of family
likes and dislikes, will generally enable even a novice to arrange this
important matter, at least so far as the ordering goes, the cooking being
another consideration. A glance at those pages in which we give a list
of the things in season for each month, will assist the housewife in her
selection for the table, and enable her to cater for variety, whilst a
visit to the market will enable her to expend her money economically.
Things must not only be “in season,” but “in reason,” to make a moderate
income productive of the greatest degree of comfort.
_Joints_ should always, when weather permits, be purchased fresh, and
then hung as long as is deemed requisite to fit them for eating. A
knowledge of the _sauces_ and _condiments_ appropriate to every dish, is
a subject well worth attention.
_Fish_ should be chosen by touch and look. If it feels flabby and looks
pale about the gills, and dull about the eyes, it is to be avoided;
firmness of body, brightness and fulness of eyes, and ruddiness of the
gills, are signs of freshness.
_Crabs_ and _lobsters_ must be selected by weight, not size; and the
olfactory organs must be employed to test their sweetness.
The _cooking of vegetables_ is an important point, and one in which we
may derive much useful instruction from our continental neighbours.
Vegetables cannot be too fresh; in large towns we can form no idea of the
real flavour and delicacy of green vegetables, accustomed as we are to
have them at least a day after they are cut.
We have already spoken of the desirableness of dealing regularly with
respectable tradesmen, but no rule is without its exception; and those
who are pretty good judges of articles of provision, may often obtain
some variety by looking about for them.
Servants should always be accustomed to lay the cloth and serve dinner
as neatly when the family is alone as when company is expected; they
should likewise be taught to bring up and place on the table or sideboard
everything likely to be required during the meal, and not have to leave
the room repeatedly on trifling errands. The mistress should glance
around to see that all is there; and if she perceives omissions, mention
them before dinner commences. Servants should also be taught to wait at
table without bustle or noise; to remove plates, &c., without rattling
them; to open and close the doors gently; to lift covers from dishes so
as not to let the drops of condensed steam fall on the table or those
seated at it. If these things are ordinarily insisted upon, the mistress
of the house will not, when she gives a dinner party, sit on thorns,
trembling lest some _gaucherie_ be committed.
Those who would give dinner parties must generally speaking, if their
_ménage_ is small, hire a cook. A small, well-cooked, well-chosen
dinner, is far preferable to a table crowded with dishes. Symmetrical
arrangement of the dinner-table, too, is a powerful adjunct. The silver
should be bright, the glass sparkling, the table-linen pure and snowy,
the room well lighted, of comfortable temperature, and well ventilated.
The pleasure of eating a good dinner is greatly enhanced when comfort is
studied, and taste gratified.
The wines should be good; it is better to give only one or two kinds,
and let those be choice, even though they be only old-fashioned port and
sherry, than to aim at greater things, and set before the guest those
“cheap and nasty” productions of other vintages.
The reduction of duty upon French wines has rendered available for the
English table many choice and light wines hitherto prohibited. English
taste, however, has not yet been cultivated in this direction to such an
extent as to render these liqueurs universally palatable. They should be
made subsidiary to the more established wines, and should be introduced
principally in warm weather.
Choose the company carefully. Ill-assorted guests are difficult to
please, while persons who assimilate find additional zest in their social
enjoyment.
The dessert should be well selected and more choice than plentiful. By
choice, do not let us be understood to mean extravagant, consisting of
fruits not yet in season or having their proper flavour, or of preserved
fruits or fancy confectionery. All these are prejudicial to health, and
we cannot understand why people who dine out should be tempted to eat
indigestible things, or those which will disagree with them; why what
ought to be a means of social enjoyment, should be made a matter of form,
ostentation, and discomfort. Let the dessert consist of fine specimens of
the fruits in season, backed in winter by a few dried fruits and biscuits.
There are so many varieties of evening parties that no directions can
be given respecting them. As a general rule, we should advise that they
should be as simple, unostentatious, and social, as possible. It is the
extravagance which has been introduced into these matters, the insane
desire of outvying each other felt by individuals, that is the bar to
real social enjoyment, and prevents us from being as lively a people as
our continental neighbours. Why cannot we meet to converse, have music,
dance, or amuse ourselves in any rational way, and be content with light,
simple refreshments, and a sincere welcome? Surely such _réunions_ are
more enjoyable than crowds, grand suppers, superb toilettes which are
scarcely seen in the crush, and suffocating heat or currents of cold air.
Such assemblies upset the house of the party-giver for a week at least,
weary and worry her, and are criticised most severely by all her “dear
friends” who did not enjoy themselves, or receive the attention they
expected. In them all is most certainly “vanity and vexation of spirit;”
there is no pleasant converse, no comfort, no intellectual enjoyment;
weariness, lassitude, headache, and expense, are the concomitants of
such parties. May our “practical housewife” have courage to reject them
altogether.