as soon as ever he had said "good day," he told me what he had heard
about you. I said I knew nothing about it: but I asked him to send you
a letter as the best means of inducing you to stay. He is taking me
with him to Spain. If he were not, I should have hurried to you, before
going to Rome, wherever you might have been, and should have pressed
this view on you personally and done all in my power to restrain you.
Once more and yet once more, Cicero, think before you utterly destroy
yourself and all your family: do not wittingly and with your eyes open
put yourself in a position from which you see there is no escape. But,
if you are moved by the call of the conservative party, or if you
cannot endure the insolence and arrogant behaviour of certain persons,
I think you should choose some town remote from the war, until the
matter is settled: and settled it will be at once. If you do that, I
shall consider you have acted wisely, and Caesar will not be offended.
X
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 3_, B.C. _49_]
How blind I am not to have foreseen it! I send you Antony's letter.
I have often written to him that I planned nothing against Caesar's
policy, that I was mindful of my son-in-law, of our friendship,
* * * * *
Page 320
si aliter sentirem, esse cum Pompeio; me autem, quia cum lictoribus
invitus cursarem, abesse velle, nec id ipsum certum etiam nunc habere,
vide, quam ad haec παραινετικῶς:
"Tuum consilium quam verum est. Nam, qui se medium esse vult, in
patria manet, qui proficiscitur, aliquid de altera utra parte
iudicare videtur. Sed ego is non sum, qui statuere debeam, iure quis
proficiscatur necne; partes mihi Caesar has imposuit, ne quem omnino
discedere ex Italia paterer. Quare parvi refert me probare cogitationem
tuam, si nihil tamen tibi remittere possum. Ad Caesarem mittas censeo
et ab eo hoc petas. Non dubito, quin impetraturus sis, cum praesertim
te amicitiae nostrae rationem habiturum esse pollicearis."
Habes σκυτάλην Λακωνικήν. Omnino excipiam hominem. Erat autem v Nonas
venturus vesperi, id est hodie. Cras igitur ad me fortasse veniet.
Temptabo, audiam: nihil properare; missurum ad Caesarem. Clam agam, cum
paucissimis alicubi occultabor, certe hinc istis invitissimis evolabo,
atque utinam ad Curionem! Σύνες ὅ τοι λέγω. Magnus dolor accessit.
Efficietur aliquid dignum nobis.
Δυσουρία tua mihi valde molesta. Medere, amabo,
* * * * *
Page 321
that, if I had thought otherwise, I could have been with Pompey, that
I wished to leave Italy because I was loth to wander about with my
lictors, though I had not made up my mind definitely even to that. See
in what an _ex cathedra_ tone he answers me:--"Your policy is quite
right. For a man who wishes to be neutral remains in his country; the
man who leaves his country seems to express his conviction on one side
or the other; but it is not for me to determine, whether anyone has
the right to leave or not. The part Caesar has given me is not to let
anyone at all leave Italy; so it is of little use for me to approve
your plan, if all the same I cannot make an exception for you. I think
you should send to Caesar and ask him this favour. I have no doubt
that you will succeed, especially as you promise not to forget our
friendship."
That is a laconic epistle.[146] I will certainly take my cue from the
man. He is to come on the evening of the 3rd, that is to-day. To-morrow
therefore he will perhaps come to me. I will sound him: I will hear
him: say I am in no hurry: that I will send to Caesar. I will act
secretly, with a very few attendants I will lie hidden somewhere; but
assuredly, however unwilling these people are, I will fly off; and
would that it may be to Curio! "Mark what I say."[147] Another great
grief has come upon me. I will do something worthy of my reputation.
[146] Lit. "Laconian staff." Spartan dispatches were wound round a
staff in such a way that they could not be read when taken off it.
Here, however, Cicero only refers to their brevity.
[147] Probably a quotation from Pindar, _Frag._ 105.
Your malady gives me grave anxiety. I pray you
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Page 322
dum est ἀρχή. De Massiliensibus gratae tuae mihi litterae. Quaeso,
ut sciam, quicquid audieris. Ocellam cuperem, si possem palam, quod
a Curione effeceram, Hic ego Servium exspecto; rogor enim ab eius
uxore et filio, et puto opus esse. Hic tamen Cytherida secum lectica
aperta portat, alteram uxorem. Septem praeterea coniunctae lecticae
amicarum sunt an amicorum. Vide, quam turpi leto pereamus, et dubita,
si potes, quin ille, seu victus seu victor redierit, caedem facturus
sit. Ego vero vel luntriculo, si navis non erit, eripiam me ex istorum
parricidio. Sed plura scribam, cum illum convenero.
Iuvenem nostrum non possum non amare, sed ab eo nos non amari plane
intellego. Nihil ego vidi tam ἀνηθοποίητον, tam aversum a suis, tam
nescio quid cogitans. O vim incredibilem molestiarum! Sed erit curae,
et est, ut regatur. Mirum est enim ingenium, ἤθους ἐπιμελητέον.
XI
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano IV Non. Mai. a 705_]
Obsignata iam epistula superiore, non placuit ei dari, cui
constitueram, quod erat alienus. Itaque eo die data non est. Interim
venit Philotimus et mihi
* * * * *
Page 323
get medical advice in its initial stage. Your letter about the
Massilians[148] pleased me. Let me know whatever you hear. I should
have liked to have Ocella, if it could be done openly, and I had got
Curio to allow it. Here I am awaiting Servius Sulpicius, for it is at
the request of his wife and son, and I think it is necessary. Antony
carries about Cytheris[149] with him in an open litter as his second
wife, and besides he had seven other litters of friends male or female.
See what a disgraceful death we die, and doubt, if you can, that,
whether Caesar returns victor or vanquished, he will perpetrate a
massacre. Even in an open boat, if I cannot get a vessel, I will tear
myself away from these parricides and their doings. But I will write
more when I have met him.
[148] They had shut their gates to Caesar and were being besieged.
[149] An actress.
My nephew I cannot but love, though I see clearly that he has no
affection for me. I never saw anyone so unprincipled, so averse to his
own relations, with such mysterious plans. What a weight of anxiety!
But it will be my business, as it is now, to discipline him: he has
wonderful ability, but his character requires training.
XI
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 4_, B.C. _49_]
After sealing my former letter, I did not feel inclined to hand it to
the person that I had intended, as he was a stranger; so it was not
despatched on that day. Meantime Philotimus came and gave me
* * * * *
Page 324
a te litteras reddidit. Quibus quae de fratre meo scribis, sunt ea
quidem parum firma, se habent nihil ὕπουλον, nihil fallax, nihil non
flexibile ad bonitatem, nihil, quod non, quo velis, uno sermone possis
perducere; ne multa, omnes suos, etiam quibus irascitur crebrius, tamen
caros habet, me quidem se ipso cariorem. Quod de puero aliter ad te
scripsit et ad matrem de filo, non reprehendo. De itinere[150] et de
sorore quae scribis, molesta sunt, eoque magis, quod ea tempora nostra
sunt, ut ego iis mederi non possim. Nam certe mederer; sed, quibus in
malis et qua in desperatione rerum simus, vides.
[150] itinere _most editors_: itine _MZ_: Quinto _Tyrrell_.
Illa de ratione nummaria non sunt eius modi (saepe enim audio ex ipso),
ut non cupiat tibi praestare et in eo laboret. Sed, si mihi Q. Axius
in hac mea fuga HS X̅I̅I̅I̅ non reddit, quae dedi eius filio mutua, et
utitur excusatione temporis, si Lepta, si ceteri, soleo mirari, de
nescio quis HS X̅X̅ cum audio ex illo se urgeri. Vides enim profecto
angustias. Curari tamen ea tibi utique iubet. An existimas illum in
isto genere lentulum aut restrictum? Nemo est minus. De fratre satis.
De eius iuvene filio, indulsit illi quidem suus pater semper, sed non
facit indulgentia mendacem aut avarum aut non amantem suorum, ferocem
fortasse atque arrogantem et infestum facit. Itaque habet haec quoque,
quae nascuntur ex indulgentia, sed ea sunt tolerabilia (quid enim
dicam?) hac inventute; ea vero,
* * * * *
Page 325
a letter from you. The conduct of my brother about which you write
shows little firmness, but no chicanery, no treachery, nothing
inflexibly opposed to goodness, nothing that cannot be turned where you
will by a single conversation. In short all his relations, even those
with whom he is so often angry, are nevertheless dear to him, and I
to be sure am dearer than life. I do not blame him for writing in one
strain about his boy to you and in another to the boy's mother. I am
distressed by what you say about the journey and your sister, and the
more so because the times are such that I cannot remedy the matter. For
certainly I would have done so: but you see in what trouble I am, what
desperation.
[Sidenote: 13,000 sesterces]
[Sidenote: 20,000 sesterces]
As for his financial affairs, I often hear from him, and they are
not in such a state as to prevent him from being anxious to pay you
and from making efforts to that end: but if Q. Axius does not pay me
in this my flight the £100 I lent his son, and pleads in excuse the
state of the times, and if Lepta and others do the same, I confess I
am always surprised to hear from Quintus that he is pressed for some
£175. For of course you see his straits. However he has ordered the
sum to be paid to your account. Perhaps you suppose that he is slow or
close-fisted in money matters. No one is less so: but enough about my
brother.
As for his son, the father has certainly always indulged him; but
indulgence does not make him a liar or a miser or disloyal to his
friends, though it does perhaps make him surly, haughty and aggressive.
Accordingly he has these defects which are due to spoiling; but they
are not intolerable, shall I say, as young men go nowadays. But the
defects which, to
* * * * *
Page 326
quae mihi quidem, qui illum amo, sunt his ipsis malis, in quis sumus,
miseriora, non sunt ab obsequio nostro. Nam suas radices habent;
quas tamen evellerem profecto, si liceret. Sed ea tempora sunt, ut
omnia mihi sint patienda. Ego meum facile teneo; nihil est enim eo
tractabilius. Cuius quidem misericordia languidiora adhuc consilia
cepi, et, quo ille me certiorem vult esse, eo magis timeo, ne in eum
exsistam crudelior.
Sed Antonius venit heri vesperi. Iam fortasse ad me veniet, aut ne id
quidem, quoniam scripsit, quid fieri vellet. Sed scies continuo, quid
actum sit. Nos iam nihil nisi occulte.
De pueris quid agam? parvone navigio committam? Quid mihi animi in
navigando censes fore? Recordor enim, aestate cum illis illo Rhodiorum
ἀφράκτῳ navigans quam fuerim sollicitus; quid duro tempore anni
actuariola fore censes? O rem undique miseram!
Trebatius erat mecum, vir plane et civis bonus. Quae ille monstra, di
immortales! Etiamne Balbus in senatum venire cogitet? Sed ei ipsi cras
ad te litteras dabo. Vettienum mihi amicum, ut scribis, ita puto esse.
Cum eo, quod ἀποτόμως ad me scripserat de nummis curandis, θυμικώτερον
eram iocatus. Id tu, si ille aliter acceperit ac debuit, lenies.
"MONETALI" autem adscripsi, quod ille ad me "PRO COS." Sed, quoniam est
homo et nos diligit, ipse quoque a nobis diligatur. Vale.
* * * * *
Page 327
me at any rate who love him, are more distressing than even the evils
on which we have fallen, do not proceed from any indulgence of mine;
for they are deep rooted: but I would have rooted them up, had I
been allowed. But the times are such that I must bear everything. My
own son I control easily. He is quite tractable. My own policy has
lacked vigour owing to my pity for him; and the more he wants me to be
unflinching, the more I fear I may prove cruel to him.
Well Antony came yesterday evening; soon perhaps he will visit me,
perhaps not even that, as he has written what he wanted done; but you
shall know forthwith what has happened. All I do now is done secretly.
What shall I do about the boys? Shall I entrust them to a small boat?
What courage do you suppose I shall have on the voyage? For I remember
sailing in the summer in an open Rhodian boat with them and how anxious
I was; and how do you suppose it will be in the bad season in a tiny
pinnace? Misery everywhere!
Trebatius is with me, a real man and a loyal citizen. Ye gods, what
awful news he brings! So even Balbus is thinking of attending the
Senate! But I will give Trebatius himself a letter for you to-morrow. I
agree with your letter that Vettienus is friendly to me. But I made a
rather bitter jest at his expense, because he wrote curtly to me about
paying my debt. Appease him, if he took it in bad part. I addressed
him by his title "commissioner of the mint" because he addressed me as
"proconsul." But since he is a good man and has affection for me, let
me keep my affection for him. Farewell.
* * * * *
Page 328
XII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano III Non. Mai. a. 705_]
Quidnam mihi futurum est, aut quis me non solum infelicior, sed iam
etiam turpior? Nominatim de me sibi imperatum dicit Antonius, nec me
tamen ipse adhuc viderat, sed hoc Trebatio narravit. Quid agam nunc,
cui nihil procedit, caduntque ea, quae diligentissime sunt cogitata,
taeterrime? Ego enim Curionem nactus omnia me consecutum putavi. Is
de me ad Hortensium scripserat. Reginus erat totus noster. Huic nihil
suspicabamur cum hoc mari negotii fore. Quo me nunc vertam? Undique
custodior. Sed satis lacrimis. Παρακλεπτέον igitur et occulte in
aliquam onerariam corrependum, non committendum, ut etiam compacto
prohibiti videamur. Sicilia petenda. Quam si erimus nacti, maiora
quaedam consequemur. Sit modo recte in Hispaniis! Quamquam de ipsa
Sicilia utinam sit verum! Sed adhuc nihil secundi. Concursus Siculorum
ad Catonem dicitur factus, orasse, ut resisteret, omnia pollicitos;
commotum illum dilectum habere coepisse. Non credo, ut est luculentus
auctor. Potuisse certe teneri illam provinciam scio. Ab Hispaniis autem
iam audietur.
Hic nos C. Marcellum habemus, eadem vere cogitantem aut bene
simulantem; quamquam ipsum non videram, sed ex familiarissimo eius
audiebam. Tu, quaeso, si quid habebis novi; ego, si quid moliti erimus,
ad te statim scribam. Quintum filium severius
* * * * *
Page 329
XII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 5_, B.C. _49_]
What is to happen to me? Who is there more ill-starred, or even more
humiliated? Antony says he has received orders about me definitely. Yet
I have not seen him myself so far; but he told Trebatius. What can I
do now? Nothing succeeds and all my best laid plans fail abominably.
For, when I had won over Curio, I imagined I had attained my end. He
had written about me to Hortensius. Reginus was wholly my friend. I
never suspected that Antony had anything to do with this part of the
sea. Whither can I turn now? Everywhere I am watched. But enough of
lamentation. I must steal away and creep privily into some cargo boat;
I must not allow it to appear that I connive at being hindered. I must
go to Sicily. If I once get there, I shall have greater ends in view.
If only all goes well in Spain! However, I do hope the news about
Sicily may prove true! Hitherto I have had no luck. It is said the
Sicilians have gathered round Cato, prayed him to resist and promised
every support: and that he has been induced to begin making a levy. I
don't believe it, good as the authority is. I know for a fact that that
province could have been held. But we shall soon hear from Spain.
Here I have C. Marcellus, who holds the same views as myself or makes a
good pretence of doing so. I have not indeed met him myself; but I hear
it from one of his most intimate friends. Write to me, if you have any
news. If I attempt anything, I shall inform you at once. Young Quintus
I shall handle
* * * * *
Page 330
adhibebo. Utinam proficere possim! Tu tamen eas epistulas, quibus
asperius de eo scripsi, aliquando concerpito, ne quando quid emanet;
ego item tuas. Servium exspecto, nec ab eo quicquam ὑγιές. Scies,
quicquid erit.
XIIa
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano prid. Non. Mai. a. 705_]
Sine dubio errasse nos confitendum est. "At semel, at una in re." Immo
omnia quo diligentius cogitata eo facta sunt imprudentius.
Ἀλλὰ τὰ μὲν προτετύχθαι ἐάσομεν ἀχνύμενοί περ, in reliquis modo ne
ruamus. Iubes de profectione me providere. Quid provideam? Ita patent
omnia, quae accidere possunt, ut, ea si vitem, sedendum sit cum
dedecore et dolore, si neglegam, periculum sit, ne in manus incidam
perditorum. Sed vide, quantis in miseriis simus. Optandum interdum
videtur, ut aliquam accipiamus ab istis quamvis acerbam iniuriam, ut
tyranno in odio fuisse videamur. Quodsi nobis is cursus, quem speraram,
pateret, effecissem aliquid profecto, ut tu optas et hortaris, dignum
nostra mora. Sed mirificae sunt custodiae, et quidem ille ipse Curio
suspectus. Quare vi aut clam agendum est et, si vi, fortiter cum
tempestate.[151] Clam autem istis? In quo si quod σφάλμα, vides, quam
turpe sit. Trahimur, nec fugiendum, si quid violentius.
[151] et si vi forte ne cum pestate _M_: et si vi forte et cum
tempestate _Ant._, _F._ _I have adopted Orelli's reading; but it is
very uncertain._
* * * * *
Page 331
with severity. I hope my efforts may succeed. But please some time tear
up the letters in which I criticize him severely, for fear anything
ever come to light. I will tear up yours. Servius Sulpicius I am still
awaiting, nor do I hear anything satisfactory from him. You shall know
whatever happens.
XIIa
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 6_, B.C. _49_]
Undoubtedly I must admit I have been mistaken. But is it once only or
on one topic? No, in everything. The more carefully I have thought, the
less wisely have I done. "Let bygones be bygones."[152] In the future
only let us not invite disaster. You bid me provide for my journey.
What can I provide? All the possible accidents are so obvious, that,
if I would shun them, I must sit still in shame and grief: and, if I
disregard them, it is odds that I fall into the hands of villains. But
see how miserable I am. Sometimes it seems preferable that I should
receive some damage however bitter from Caesar's party, that people
may see I am hated by the tyrant. But, if the voyage for which I hoped
were open to me, certainly, as you wish and advise, I should have done
something to justify delay. But I am watched with extraordinary care
and even Curio is suspect. So I must make a bold move or use craft. If
a bold move, I need good weather: but, if craft, should there be any
_faux pas_, you see how disgraced I should be. I am carried away by
circumstances and must not be afraid of a bold course.
[152] Iliad xvii, 112, "But what is past though grieved we will let be."
* * * * *
Page 332
De Caelio saepe mecum agito nec, si quid habuero tale, dimittam.
Hispanias spero firmas esse. Massiliensium factum cum ipsum per se
luculentum est, tum mihi argumento est recte esse in Hispaniis. Minus
enim auderent, si aliter esset, et scirent; nam et vicini et diligentes
sunt. Odium autem recte animadvertis significatum in theatro. Legiones
etiam has, quas in Italia assumpsit, alienissimas esse video. Sed
tamen nihil inimicius quam sibi ipse. Illud recte times, ne ruat. Si
desperarit, certe ruet. Quo magis efficiendum aliquid est, fortuna
velim meliore, animo Caeliano. Sed primum quidque. Quod qualecumque
erit, continuo scies. Nos iuveni, ut rogas, suppeditabimus et
Peloponnesum ipsam sustinebimus. Est enim indoles, modo aliquod hoc sit
ἦθος ΑΚΙΜΟΑΟΝ.[153] Quod si adhuc nullum est, esse tamen potest, aut
ἀρετὴ non est διδακτόν, quod mihi persuaderi non potest.
[153] _The text here is corrupt and no convincing emendation has been
suggested._
XIII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano Non. Mai. a. 705_]
Epistula tua gratissima fuit meae Tulliae et me hercule mihi. Semper
speculam aliquam adferunt tuae litterae. Scribes igitur, ac, si quid ad
spem poteris, ne dimiseris. Tu Antoni leones pertimescas cave. Nihil
est illo homine iucundius. Attende πρᾶξιν πολιτικοῦ.
* * * * *
Page 333
I often reflect about Caelius; and if I have such an opportunity, I
will not let it go. I hope Spain is safe. The action of the Massilians
is praiseworthy in itself, and is a proof to me that things are going
well in Spain. They would have been less bold, if it were otherwise,
and they should know, for they live near and are watchful. You are
right to remark the expression of popular feeling in the theatre. Even
the legions which Caesar got in Italy seem to me to be very disloyal
to him. However he is his own worst enemy. You are right to fear that
he may run amuck. Assuredly he will, if he loses hope. That is all the
more inducement for me to do something in the spirit of Caelius, and
I hope with better luck. But everything in due course; and, whatever
it be, I will inform you forthwith. I will do all for young Quintus
that is necessary, and will undertake the task not only of Arcadia but
of the whole Peloponnese.[154] He is able, if only he had character.
However, if he has none so far, he may get it, or virtue is not
teachable, and that I can never believe.
[154] Cf. x, 5.
XIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 7_, B.C. _49_]
Your letter was very pleasing to my daughter and of course to me, for
your correspondence always brings a gleam of hope. So please write,
and, if you can be hopeful, don't fail to be so. Don't be too much
afraid of Antony's lions.[155] He is a jovial fellow. Just hear
[155] Plutarch and Pliny state that after Pharsalia Antony had a
chariot drawn by lions: but from this passage it appears that the story
was current earlier.
* * * * *
Page 334
Evocavit litteris e municipiis decem primos et IIII viros. Venerunt ad
villam eius mane. Primum dormiit ad h. III, deinde, cum esset nuntiatum
venisse Neapolitanos et Cumanos (his enim est Caesar iratus), postridie
redire iussit; lavari se velle et περὶ κοιλιολυσίαν γίνεσθαι. Hoc here
effecit. Hodie autem in Aenariam transire constituit. Exsulibus reditum
pollicetur.
Sed haec omittamus, de nobis aliquid agamas. A Q. Axio accepi litteras.
De Tirone gratum. Vettienum diligo. Vestorio reddidi. Servius pr.
Nonas Maias Menturnis mansisse dicitur, hodie in Liternino mansurus
apud C. Marcellum. Cras igitur nos mature videbit mihique dabit
argumentum ad te epistulae. Iam enim non reperio, quod tibi scribam.
Illud admiror, quod Antonius ad me ne nuntium quidem, cum praesertim me
valde observarit. Videlicet aliquid atrocius de me imperatum est. Coram
negare mihi non vult, quod ego nec rogaturus eram nec, si impetrassem,
crediturus. Nos tamen aliquid excogitabimus. Tu, quaeso, si quid in
Hispaniis. Iam enim poterit audiri, et omnes ita exspectant, ut, si
recte fuerit, nihil negotii futurum putent. Ego autem nec retentis iis
confectam rem puto, neque amissis desperatam. Silium et Ocellam et
ceteros credo retardatos. Te quoque a Curtio impediri video. Etsi, ut
opinor, habes ἔκπλουν.[156]
[156] ἔκπλουν _Baiter_: εκιταονον _MSS._
* * * * *
Page 335
how he plays the statesman. He summoned by letter ten leading men and
the board of four from the municipal towns. They came to his country
house in the morning. First he slept till nine. Then, when he heard the
men had come from Naples and Cumae (for Caesar is angry with them),
he bade them return on the next day, saying that he wished to take a
bath and a laxative. This he did yesterday. But to-day he has arranged
to cross to Aenaria. He is promising the exiles[157] that they shall
return.
[157] Banished under Pompey's law _de ambitu_ in 52 B.C.
But let us pass over this and talk about ourselves. I got a letter
from Q. Axius. As for Tiro, thanks. I like Vettienus. I have repaid
Vestorius. Servius is said to have stopped at Menturnae on the 6th of
May. To-day he will stop with C. Marcellus in his villa at Liternum.
To-morrow early he will see me, and will give me a subject for a letter
to you. Just now I can find nothing to write. I am much astonished that
Antony has not even sent a messenger to me, especially when he has paid
me much attention. I suppose he has some more truculent order about me.
He does not wish to refuse me to my face, but I was not going to ask
the favour, nor, if I had got it, should I have believed him. However
I will think out some plan. Let me know if anything has happened in
Spain; for now there is time for news to have come, and everybody
awaits it with the idea, that, if all go well there, there will be no
more trouble. But I do not think the business is over, if Spain be
kept, nor yet hopeless, if it be lost. Silius and Ocella and the rest
I suppose are detained. I see that you too are hindered by Curtius,
though I think you have a passport.
* * * * *
Page 336
XIV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano VIII Id. Mai. a. 705_]
O vitam miseram, maiusque malum tam diu timere, quam est illud ipsum,
quod timetur! Servius, ut antea scripsi, cum venisset Nonis Maiis,
postridie ad me mane venit. Ne diutius te teneam, nullius consilii
exitum invenimus. Numquam vidi hominem perturbatiorem metu; neque
hercule quicquam timebat, quod non esset timendum; illum sibi iratum,
hunc non amicum; horribilem utriusque victoriam, cum propter alterius
crudelitatem, alterius audaciam tum propter utriusque difficultatem
pecuniariam; quae erui nusquam nisi ex privatorum bonis posset.
Atque haec ita multis cum lacrimis loquebatur, ut ego mirarer eas
tam diuturna miseria non exaruisse. Mihi quidem etiam lippitudo
haec, propter quam non ipse ad te scribo, sine ulla lacrima est, sed
saepius odiosa est propter vigilias. Quam ob rem, quicquid habes ad
consolandum, collige et illa scribe, non ex doctrina neque ex libris
(nam id quidem domi est, sed nescio quo modo imbecillior est medicina
quam morbus), haec potius conquire de Hispaniis, de Massilia; quae
quidem satis bella Servius adfert; qui etiam de duabus legionibus
luculentos auctores esse dicebat. Haec igitur, si habebis, et talia. Et
quidem paucis diebus aliquid audiri necesse est.
Sed redeo ad Servium. Distulimus omnino sermonem in posterum, sed
tardus ad exeundum "multo se
* * * * *
Page 337
XIV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 8_, B.C. _49_]
What a wretched life this is! and to be so long afraid is more wretched
than the very thing one fears! Servius, as I told you before, came
on the 7th of May and on the next morning visited me. Not to detain
you longer, we could not see our way to a plan. Never have I seen a
man more upset with fear; and upon my soul he feared nothing that did
not deserve to be feared. He pointed out that Pompey was angry with
him, that Caesar was not friendly, that the victory of either would
be terrible, both because Pompey was cruel and Caesar daring, and
because of their money difficulties, which could only be got rid of by
an attack on private property. He bewailed all this with such a flood
of tears, that I was surprised they had not dried up in all that long
time of misery. My own eyes do not shed one single tear, though this
inflammation prevents me from writing to you; but it is often tiresome
by keeping me awake. So please collect all the consolation you can and
send it to me--not from philosophy or books--I have plenty of that, but
I find somehow that the cure is too weak for the disease. Search rather
for any news about Spain or Massilia. What Servius says about them is
quite satisfactory, and he also tells me there is excellent authority
for the story of the two legions. News of this kind then send me, if
you get it, and such like topics. Anyhow in a few days something must
be heard.
But to return to Servius. We deferred all our conversation to the next
day: but he is reluctant to leave Italy, declaring he would much rather
die in
* * * * *
Page 338
in suo lectulo malle, quicquid foret." Odiosus scrupulus de filii
militia Brundisina. Unum illud firmissime adseverabat, si damnati
restituerentur, in exsilium se iturum. Nos autem ad haec "et id
ipsum certo fore, et, quae iam fierent, non esse leviora," multaque
colligebamus. Verum ea non animum eius augebant, sed timorem, ut iam
celandus magis de nostro consilio quam adhibendus videretur. Quare in
hoc non multum est. Nos a te admoniti de Caelio cogitabimus.
XV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano IV Id. Mai. a. 705_]
Servius cum esset apud me, Cephalio cum tuis litteris VI Idus venit;
quae nobis magnam spem attulerunt meliorum rerum de octo cohortibus.
Etenim eae quoque, quae in his locis sunt, labare dicuntur. Eodem
die Funisulanus a te attulit litteras, in quibus erat confirmatius
idem illud. Ei de suo negotio respondi cumulate cum omni tua gratia.
Adhuc non satis faciebat; debet autem mihi multos nummos nec habetur
locuples. Nunc ait se daturum; cui expensum tulerit, morari;
tabellariis, si apud te esset qua satis fecisset, dares. Quantum sit,
Eros Philotimi tibi dicet. Sed ad maiora redeamus.
Quod optas, Caelianum illud maturescit. Itaque torqueor, utrum ventum
exspectem. Vexillo opus est; convolabunt. Quod suades, ut palam,
prorsus adsentior, itaque me profecturum puto. Tuas tamen
* * * * *
Page 339
his bed whatever happens. He has unpleasant scruples about his son's
military service at Brundisium. On one point he is quite firm, that,
if the condemned are restored, he will go into exile. I for my part
replied "that will certainly happen, and what is happening is equally
disagreeable," and I quoted many examples. My examples however did not
increase his courage but his fear: so that it appears I must rather
conceal from him my design than invite him to share it. He is not to be
depended on. By your advice I will consider about Caelius.
XV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 12_, B.C. _49_]
While Servius was with me, Cephalio came with your letter of the 10th,
which gave me great hope of better news about the eight cohorts. For
even the cohorts which are here are said to be wavering. On the same
day Funisulanus brought me a letter from you, corroborating the same
news. I gave him a full reply about his business, explaining all your
kindness. Hitherto he has not been satisfactory; and he owes me a large
sum and is not considered safe. Now he says that he will settle; but
that a debtor of his was slow in paying, and that you are to pay the
money by your letter-carriers, if that debtor has deposited it with
you. The amount Philotimus' man Eros will tell you. But to return to
more important matters.
That Caelian plan you favour is coming to a head: so I am worried
whether to await a favourable wind. It is a standard we want, and men
will flock to it. With your advice, that I should set sail openly, I
entirely agree: and so I think I will set out. However
* * * * *
Page 340
interim litteras exspecto. Servi consilio nihil, expeditur. Omnes
captiones in omni sententia occurrunt. Unum C. Marcellum cognovi
timidiorem; quem consulem fuisse paenitet. Ὢ πολλῆς ἀγεννείας! qui
etiam Antonium confirmasse dicitur, ut me impediret, quo ipse, credo,
honestius. Antonius autem VI Idus Capuam profectus est. Ad me misit, se
pudore deterritum ad me non venisse, quod me sibi suscensere putaret.
Ibitur igitur et ita quidem, ut censes, nisi cuius gravioris personae
suscipiendae spes erit ante oblata. Sed vix erit tam cito. Allienus
autem praetor putabat aliquem, si ego non, ex collegis suis. Quivis
licet, dum modo aliquis.
De sorore laudo. De Quinto puero datur opera; spero esse meliora. De
Quinto fratre scito eum non mediocriter laborare de versura, sed adhuc
nihil a L. Egnatio expressit. Axius de duodecim milibus pudens! Saepe
enim ad me scripsit, ut Gallio, quantum is vellet, darem. Quodsi non
scripsisset, possemne aliter? Et quidem saepe sum pollicitus, sed
tantum voluit cito. Me vero adiuvarent his in angustiis. Sed di istos!
Verum alias. Te a quartana liberatum gaudeo itemque Piliam. Ego, dum
panis et cetera in navem parantur, excurro in Pompeianum. Vettieno
velim gratias, quod studiosus sit; si quemquam nanctus eris, qui
perferat, litteras des, antequam discedimus.
* * * * *
Page 341
I await a letter from you meanwhile. Servius' advice has not been
helpful. All sorts of bars meet us in every opinion he expresses. Only
one man, C. Marcellus, have I known to be more timid, and he is sorry
he was ever a consul. What a lowborn spirit! He is said even to have
strengthened Antony's resolution to prevent my departure: so that his
own conduct I suppose may appear more honourable. Antony started for
Capua on the 10th, sending word that shame prevented his visiting me,
because he thought I was annoyed with him. So I shall go, and openly as
you advise, unless hope of playing a more important part shall offer.
But that can scarcely occur so soon. Allienus the praetor thought one
of his colleagues would be chosen,[158] if I were not. Let it be anyone
they like so long as it is some one.
[158] As peace delegate.
As to your sister, I approve. As for young Quintus, I am doing my best,
and I hope things are better. As for my brother Quintus, you must know
that he is taking extraordinary pains to borrow money to settle his
debt; but so far has squeezed nothing out of L. Egnatius. Axius is
modest about the £100[159]: for he often requested in his letters that
I should pay Gallius as much as he wanted. Even if he had not written,
could I have helped it? I have often promised indeed; but he wanted so
much at once. They should have helped me rather in my difficulties,
confound them. But I will write of this another time. I am glad you
are rid of your ague, and Pilia too. While bread and provisions are
being put on board, I am going off to my estate at Pompeii. Please
thank Vettienus for his trouble. If you can find a messenger, give me a
letter before I leave.
[159] 12,000 sesterces.
* * * * *
Page 342
XVI
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano prid. Id. Mai. a. 705_]
Commodum ad te dederam litteras de pluribus rebus, cum ad me bene mane
Dionysius fuit. Cui quidem ego non modo placabilem me praebuissem,
sed totum remisissem, si venisset, qua mente tu ad me scripseras.
Erat enim sic in tuis litteris, quas Arpini acceperam, eum venturum
facturumque, quod ego vellem. Ego volebam autem vel cupiebam potius
esse eum nobiscum. Quod quia plane, cum in Formianum venisset,
praeciderat, asperius ad te de eo scribere solebam. At ille perpauca
locutus hanc summam habuit orationis, ut sibi ignoscerem; se rebus
suis impeditum nobiscum ire non posse. Pauca respondi, magnum accepi
dolorem, intellexi fortunam ab eo nostram despectam esse. Quid quaeris?
(fortasse miraberis) in maximis horum temporum doloribus hunc mihi
scito esse. Velim, ut tibi amicus sit. Hoc cum tibi opto, opto, ut
beatus sis; erit enim tam diu.
Consilium nostrum spero vacuum periculo fore. Nam et dissimulavimus,
et, ut opinor, non acerrime adservabimur. Navigatio modo sit, qualem
opto, cetera, quae quidem consilio provideri poterunt, cavebuntur. Tu,
dum adsumus, non modo quae scies audierisve, sed etiam quae futura
providebis, scribas velim.
Cato, qui Siciliam tenere nullo negotio potuit (et, si tenuisset, omnes
boni ad eum se contulissent), Syracusis profectus est ante diem VIII K.
Mai., ut ad me
* * * * *
Page 343
XVI
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 14_, B.C. _49_]
I had just sent a letter to you about a number of matters, when very
early in the morning Dionysius came to my house. I should not only
have been civil to him, I should have pardoned him altogether, if he
had come in the spirit you described. For the letter I got at Arpinum
said that he was coming and would do whatever I wanted; and I wanted or
rather longed that he should be with me. It was because he had flatly
refused to do so, when he came to my villa at Formiae, I used to write
to you about him rather bitterly. However, after the first greeting,
he said, to put it shortly, that I must excuse him and that business
prevented his going with me. I said little in reply, but I was greatly
hurt, for I understood that he looked down on my fortunes. You may be
astonished, but you must know that this is one of the greatest sorrows
I have suffered in this crisis. I hope that he may be a friend to you.
When I wish that, I wish you prosperity, for just so long he will be
your friend.
My plan, I hope, will be free from risk, for I have kept the matter a
secret, and, as I think, I shall not be watched very keenly. Only let
the voyage be as good as I want, and all precautions that foresight can
suggest will be taken. While I am here, please write not only anything
you know or hear, but even what you foresee.
Cato, who could have held Sicily without any trouble--and, if he had
held it, all loyalists would have flocked to him--sailed from Syracuse
on the
* * * * *
Page 344
Curio scripsit. Utinam, quod aiunt, Cotta Sardiniam teneat! est enim
rumor. O, si id fuerit, turpem Catonem!
Ego, ut minuerem suspicionem profectionis aut cogitationis meae,
profectus sum in Pompeianum a. d. IIII Idus, ut ibi essem, dum,
quae ad navigandum opus essent, pararentur. Cum ad villam venissem,
relatum[160] est ad me centuriones trium cohortium, quae Pompeiis sunt,
me velle postridie convenire. Haec mecum Ninnius noster, velle eos mihi
se et oppidum tradere. At ego abii postridie a villa ante lucem, ut me
omnino illi ne viderent. Quid enim erat in tribus cohortibus? quid,
si plures? quo apparatu? Cogitavi eadem illa Caeliana, quae legi in
epistula tua, quam accepi, simul et in Cumanum veni eodem die, et simul
fieri poterat, ut temptaremur. Omnem igitur suspicionem sustuli. Sed,
dum redeo, Hortensius venerat et ad Terentiam salutatum deverterat.
Sermone erat usus honorifico erga me. Iam eum, ut puto, videbo; misit
enim puerum se ad me venire. Hoc quidem melius quam collega noster
Antonius, cuius inter lictores lectica mima portatur.
[160] relatum _Müller_: ventum _MSS._
Tu, quoniam quartana cares et novum morbum removisti, sed etiam
gravedinem, teque vegetum nobis in Graecia siste et litterarum aliquid
interea.
* * * * *
Page 345
23rd of April, as Curio has informed me by letter. I only hope Cotta
may hold Sardinia, as they say, for there is a rumour to that effect.
If that happens, what a reflection of Cato!
To lessen suspicion of my journey and intentions I started for my
place at Pompeii on the 12th of May to stay there while the necessary
provisions were made for my voyage. When I arrived, I was told the
centurions of the three cohorts here wished to visit me the next day.
That was what my friend Ninnius said--that they wished to hand over
themselves and the town to me. But I left the next morning before
daybreak, so that they should not see me at all: for what was the
use of three cohorts, or more indeed? And what was our equipment?
I pondered too over the matter of Caelius when I read it in your
letter, which I received on the same day as I arrived at Cumae. It was
possible too that it was a mere ruse, so I did away with all grounds
of suspicion. But, while I was on my way back, Hortensius came, and
turned out of his way to greet Terentia, and he had spoken of me with
much courtesy. I think I shall see him soon, for he has sent a servant
to announce his coming. This is better behaviour than that of my fellow
augur Antony, who carries an actress in a sedan among his lictors.
As you have lost your quartan fever and have not only thrown off your
new malady but also your cold, you must present yourself before me
sound and fit in Greece. Meanwhile drop me a line.
* * * * *
Page 346
XVII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano XVII K. Iun. a. 705_]
Pr. Idus Hortensius ad me venit seripta epistula. Vellem cetera eius!
quam in me incredibilem ἐκτένειαν! Qua quidem cogito uti. Deinde
Serapion cum epistula tua. Quam priusquam aperuissem, dixi ei te ad
me de eo scripsisse antea, ut feceras. Deinde epistula lecta[161]
cumulatissime cetera. Et hercule hominem probo; nam et doctum et probum
existimo; quin etiam navi eius me et ipso convectore usurum puto.
[161] lecta _Manutius_: scripta _MSS._
Crebro refricat lippitudo non illa quidem perodiosa, sed tamen quae
impediat scriptionem meam. Valetudinem tuam iam confirmatam esse et a
vetere morbo et a novis temptationibus gaudeo.
Ocellam vellem haberemus; videntur enim esse haec paulo faciliora
futura. Nunc quidem aequinoctium nos moratur, quod valde perturbatum
erat. Id si transierit,[162] utinam idem maneat Hortensius! si quidem,
ut adhuc erat, liberalius esse nihil potest.
[162] transierit _Ziehen_: cras erit _MSS._: ἀκραὲς erit _Bosius_.
De diplomate admiraris quasi nescio cuius te flagitii insimularim.
Negas enim te reperire, qui mihi id in mentem venerit. Ego autem,
quia scripseras te proficisci cogitare (etenim audieram nemini aliter
licere), eo te habere censebam, et quia pueris diploma sumpseras. Habes
causam opinionis meae. Et tamen
* * * * *
Page 347
XVII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 16_, B.C. _49_]
On the 14th of May Hortensius came to me, just as I had written my
letter. I wish his conduct were always as it is now.[163] You would
never believe how gushing he was, and I intend to take advantage of it.
Then Serapion came with a letter from you. Before I opened it, I told
him that you had written to me about him before, as you had done. Then
when I had read the letter, I told him the rest in full detail, and
upon my word I like the man; for I think him to be learned and upright.
Moreover I think I will use his ship and make him my fellow-passenger.
[163] Or "I wish he would always confine himself to writing." But the
passage may be corrupt.
Inflammation of the eyes often breaks out again, not indeed very
troublesome, but enough to prevent my writing. That your health has
recovered from your old complaint and your new attacks I am glad.
I wish I had Ocella here: for it looks as if things are going to be
rather easier. Just now the equinox is delaying me. It has been very
boisterous. When that is over, I only hope Hortensius may keep to the
same mind. So far he could not be more generous.
You wonder about the passport I mentioned, as if I hinted you were
guilty of some crime. You say you can't discover how it came into my
mind. For my part since you wrote that you meditated leaving, and I had
heard that a passport was indispensable, I decided you must have one:
and also because you had taken out a passport for the boys. That was
the reason for my opinion, but please write and tell me
* * * * *
Page 348
velim scire, quid cogites, in primisque, si quid etiam nunc novi est.
XVII K. Iun.
XVIII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Cumano XIV aut XIII K. Iun. a. 705_]
Tullia mea peperit XIIII K. Iun. puerum ἑπταμηνιαῖον. Quod εὐτόκησεν,
gaudeo; quod quidem est natum, perimbecillum est. Me mirificae
tranquillitates adhuc tenuerunt atque maiori impedimento fuerunt quam
custodiae, quibus adservor. Nam illa Hortensiana omnia fuere infantia.
Ita fiet. Homo nequissimus a Salvio liberto depravatus est. Itaque
posthac non scribam ad te, quid facturus sim, sed quid fecerim; omnes
enim Κωρυκαῖοι videntur subauscultare, quae loquor.
Tu tamen, si quid de Hispaniis sive quid aliud, perge, quaeso, scribere
nec meas litteras exspectaris, nisi cum, quo opto, pervenerimus, aut si
quid ex cursu. Sed hoc quoque timide scribo. Ita omnia tarda adhuc et
spissa. Ut male posuimus initia, sic cetera sequuntur.
Formias nunc sequimur; eodem nos fortasse Furiae persequentur. Ex Balbi
autem sermone, quem tecum habuit, non probamus de Melita. Dubitas
igitur, quin nos in hostium numero habeat? Scripsi equidem Balbo te ad
me et de benevolentia scripsisse et de
* * * * *
Page 349
what you intend, and especially if there is any news.
May 16.
XVIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Cumae, May 19 or 20_, B.C. _49_]
My daughter was confined on the 19th of May: a boy, a seven months'
child. I am glad she had a safe delivery. As for the thing that has
been born, it is a very poor specimen. So far I have been detained by
an astonishing calm, which has been a greater hindrance than the watch
kept on me. For all that gush of Hortensius proved child's talk. So it
will be found. The villain has been corrupted by Salvius his freeman.
Accordingly hereafter I shall write to you, not what I intend to do but
what I have done. For every eavesdropper[164] seems to be listening to
what I say.
[164] The people of Corycus in Pamphylia spied on merchant vessels and
betrayed them to pirates. Hence their name became a proverbial term for
spies and eavesdroppers.
However if you have any news about Spain or any other topic, please
write, but do not count on a letter from me, till I have reached
the desired haven; or possibly I may write something on the voyage.
But even this much I write in fear. How sluggishly and draggingly
everything has gone! The foundation was badly laid and the rest is of a
piece.
Just now I am going to Formiae; perhaps there too the Furies will
follow me. However according to Balbus' conversation with you my idea
of going to Malta does not win approval. Can you doubt then that Caesar
regards me as an enemy? To be sure I have written to Balbus telling him
that you had informed me of his kindness and his suspicion. I
* * * * *
Page 350
suspicione. Egi gratias; de altero ei me purga. Ecquem tu hominem
infeliciorem? Non loquor plura, ne te quoque excruciem. Ipse conficior
venisse tempus, cum iam nec fortiter nec prudenter quicquam facere
possim.
* * * * *
Page 351
thanked him for his kindness: as regards the suspicion, clear me. Is
there a more unlucky man living? I won't say more for fear of hurting
you too. I am tortured by the thought that the time has come when I can
no longer act either with boldness or discretion.
* * * * *
Page 352
M. TULLI CICERONIS EPISTULARUM AD ATTICUM LIBER UNDECIMUS
I
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Epiro inter Non. et Id. Ian., ut videtur, a. 706_]
Accepi a te signatum libellum, quem Anteros attulerat; ex quo nihil
scire potui de nostris domesticis rebus. De quibus acerbissime
adflictor, quod, qui eas dispensavit, neque adest istic, neque, ubi
terrarum sit, scio. Omnem autem spem habeo existimationis privatarumque
rerum in tua erga me mihi perspectissima benevolentia. Quam si his
temporibus miseris et extremis praestiteris, haec pericula, quae mihi
communia sunt cum ceteris, fortius feram; idque ut facias, te obtestor
atque obsecro. Ego in cistophoro in Asia habeo ad sestertium bis et
viciens. Huius pecuniae permutatione fidem nostram facile tuebere; quam
quidem ego nisi expeditam relinquere me putassem credens ei, cui tu
scis iam pridem minime credere me debere, commoratus essem paulisper
nec domesticas res impeditas reliquissem. Ob eamque causam serius ad te
scribo, quod sero intellexi, quid timendum esset. Te etiam atque etiam
oro, ut me totum tuendum suscipias, ut, si ei salvi erunt, quibuscum
sum, una cum iis possim incolumis esse salutemque meam benevolentiae
tuae acceptam referre.
* * * * *
Page 353
CICERO'S LETTERS TO ATTICUS BOOK XI
I
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Epirus, January_, B.C. _48_]
I got your sealed document, which Anteros brought. It gave me no
information about my private affairs. I am exceedingly distressed
about them, because Philotimus, who managed them, is not at Rome, nor
do I know where in the world he is. And my whole hope of preserving
my credit and private property lies in your tried and proved kindness
towards me. If in this last desperate crisis you still show that, I
shall face the dangers which I share with others more courageously:
and I adjure and beseech you to do so. I have in local currency[165]
in Asia nearly £18,000.[166] By a bill of exchange for that amount it
will be easy for you to maintain my credit. Unless I had thought I were
leaving it all square (trusting one, whom you have long since known I
ought not to have trusted), I should have delayed a little longer and
not left my private concerns embarrassed. The reason why I have been
rather long in writing to you about it, is that I was a long time in
gathering what was to be feared. Again and again I beseech you that you
undertake to protect me in every way, so that, supposing my present
associates are spared, I may along with them remain unembarrassed and
put down my safety to your kindness.
[165] An Asiatic coin bearing as a device the _cista_ of Dionysius half
opened with a snake creeping out of it.
[166] 2,200,000 sesterces.
* * * * *
Page 354
II
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Epiro med. m. Mart., ut videtur, a. 706_]
Litteras tuas accepi pr. Non. Febr. eoque ipso die ex testamento crevi
hereditatem. Ex multis meis miserrimis curis est una levata, si, ut
scribis, ista hereditas fidem et famam meam tueri potest; quam quidem
intellego te etiam sine hereditate tuis opibus defensurum fuisse. De
dote quod scribis, per omnes deos te obtestor, ut totam rem suscipias
et illam miseram mea culpa et neglegentia tueare meis opibus, si quae
sunt, tuis, quibus tibi molestum non erit, facultatibus. Cui quidem
deesse omnia, quod scribis, obsecro te, noli pati. In quos enim sumptus
abeunt fructus praediorum? Iam illa HS L̅X̅, quae scribis, nemo mihi
umquam dixit ex dote esse detracta; numquam enim essem passus. Sed haec
minima est ex eis iniuriis, quas accepi; de quibus ad te dolore et
lacrimis scribere prohibeor. Ex ea pecunia, quae fuit in Asia, partem
dimidiam fere exegi. Tutius videbatur fore ibi, ubi est, quam apud
publicanos.
Quod me hortaris, ut firmo sim animo, vellem posses aliquid adferre,
quam ob rem id facere possem. Sed, si ad ceteras miserias accessit
etiam id, quod mihi Chrysippus dixit parari (tu nihil significasti) de
* * * * *
Page 355
II
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Epirus, March_, B.C. _48_]
I received your letter on the 4th of February, and on the same day I
accepted the inheritance formally according to the will. Of my many and
miserable anxieties one is taken away, if, as you say, this inheritance
is sufficient to maintain my credit and reputation, though I know you
would have defended it even without the inheritance with all your
resources. As for what you write about the dowry[167] I adjure you for
heaven's sake to manage the whole business and protect the poor girl,
a victim of my culpable carelessness, with my funds, if there are any,
and out of your own, so far as you can without inconvenience. Pray do
not let her remain in the utter want you depict. On what are the rents
of my farms being wasted? That 500 guineas[168] of which you write, no
one ever told me that it had been kept back out of the dowry, for I
would never have allowed it. But that is the least of the blows I have
suffered. I cannot write to you about them for sorrow and tears. Of the
money I had in Asia I have called in nearly half. It would appear to be
safer where it is than with the tax-collectors.
[167] The second instalment of Tullia's dowry due to Dolabella before
July; cf. xi, 3. Dowries were paid in three instalments.
[168] 60,000 sesterces.
As for your exhortations to be of good courage, I wish you could find
some reason why I should be so. If, on the top of my other sorrows,
there comes that which Chrysippus said is under consideration (you gave
me no hint), I mean the confiscation of my town
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Page 356
domo, quis me miserior uno iam fuit? Oro, obsecro, ignosce. Non possum
plura scribere. Quanto maerore urgear, profecto vides. Quod si mihi
commune cum ceteris esset, qui videntur in eadem causa esse, minor
mea culpa videretur et eo tolerabilior esset. Nunc nihil est, quod
consoletur, nisi quid tu efficis, si modo etiam nunc effici potest, ut
ne qua singulari adficiar calamitate et iniuria.
Tardius ad te remisi tabellarium, quod potestas mittendi non fuit. A
tuis et nummorum accepi HS L̅X̅X̅ et, vestimentorum quod opus fuit.
Quibus tibi videbitur, velim des litteras meo nomine. Nosti meos
familiares. Si signum requirent aut manum, dices me propter custodias
ea vitasse.
III
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in castris Pompei Id. Iun. a. 706_]
Quid hic agatur, scire poteris ex eo, qui litteras attulit. Quem
diutius tenui, quia cotidie aliquid novi exspectabamus; neque nunc
mittendi tamen ulla causa fuit praeter eam, de qua tibi rescribi
voluisti, quod ad Kal. Quinct. pertinet, quid vellem. Utrumque grave
est, et tam gravi tempore periculum tantae pecuniae, et dubio rerum
exitu ista, quam scribis, abruptio. Quare ut alia sic hoc vel maxime
* * * * *
Page 357
house, I am the most wretched man alive. I pray and beseech you pardon
me. I can write no more. You see, I am sure, with what a weight of
misery I am oppressed. If I shared it with others, who seem to be
in the same predicament, I should feel less blameworthy and bear it
better. Now I have no consolation unless you can arrange, if it is now
possible, that I may not be visited with any special disaster and harm.
I have been rather slow in sending back your letter-carrier, because
there was no opportunity of sending him. From your agents I have
received some £600[169] and the necessary clothing. Please send letters
to any people you think right in my name. You know my intimate friends.
If they notice the absence of my seal or handwriting, please say I have
avoided using them owing to the sentries.
[169] 70,000 sesterces.
III
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Camp of Pompey, June 3_, B.C. _48_]
What is happening here you may gather from the bearer of your letter.
I have kept him longer than I should, because every day I am expecting
something fresh to happen, and there was no reason for sending him even
now, except the subject on which you ask for an answer, namely what
I wish as to the first of July. Both courses are dangerous, both the
risk of such a sum of money at such a dangerous time, and the breaking
with Dolabella, which you mention, while the political issue is still
uncertain. Accordingly I will leave this matter in particular like
others
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Page 358
tuae curae benevolentiaeque permitto et illius consilio et voluntati;
cui miserae consuluissem melius, si tecum olim coram potius quam per
litteras de salute nostra fortunisque deliberavissem.
Quod negas praecipuum mihi ullum in communibus incommodis impendere,
etsi ista res non nihil habet consolationis, tamen etiam praecipua
multa sunt, quae tu profecto vides et gravissima esse et me facillime
vitare potuisse. Ea tamen erunt minora, si, ut adhuc factum est,
administratione et diligentia tua levabuntur.
Pecunia apud Egnatium est. Sit a me, ut est. Neque enim hoc, quod
agitur, videtur diuturnum esse posse, ut scire iam possim, quid maxime
opus sit. Etsi egeo rebus omnibus, quod is quoque in angustiis est,
quicum sumus; cui magnam dedimus pecuniam mutuam, opinantes nobis
constitutis rebus eam rem etiam honori fore. Tu, ut antea fecisti,
velim, si qui erunt, ad quos aliquid scribendum a me existimes, ipse
conficias. Tuis salutem die. Cura, ut valeas. In primis id, quod
scribis, omnibus rebus cura et provide, ne quid ei desit, de qua scis
me miserrimum esse. Idibus Iuniis ex castris.
IV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in castris Pompei Id. Quint. a. 706_]
Accepi ab Isidoro litteras et postea datas binas. Ex proximis cognovi
praedia non venisse. Videbis
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Page 359
to your kind care, and to the consideration and desire of poor Tullia,
whose interests would have been better consulted, if originally I had
discussed our safety and fortunes with you in person rather than by
letter.
You say there is no trouble threatening me especially in this public
misfortune. There is a little consolation in that, but there are many
circumstances special to me, which you must see are very serious and
might easily have been avoided. However they will be less serious, if,
as hitherto, they are lightened by your care and management.
The money is with Egnatius. Let it remain there, so far as I am
concerned: for things cannot last long as they are, so that I shall
soon know what is most necessary. However, I am in want of everything,
because the man I am with[170] too is in great straits and I have lent
him a large sum of money, thinking that, when things settle down, that
will bring me honour as well as profit. Please, as before, if there
are any persons to whom you think I ought to write, do it for me. Pay
my greetings to your family. Take care of your health. Above all, as
you say, make every careful provision that nothing maybe wanting to my
daughter, on whose account you know I am very unhappy.
[170] Pompey.
June 13, at the camp.
IV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _In Pompey's camp, July 15_, B.C. _48_]
I have received your letter by Isidorus and two written later. From the
last I understand that the
* * * * *
Page 360
ergo, ut sustentetur per te. De Frusinati, si modo fruituri sumus, erit
mihi res opportuna. Meas litteras quod requiris, impedior inopia rerum,
quas nullas habeo litteris dignas, quippe cui, nec quae accidunt, nec
quae aguntur, ullo modo probentur. Utinam coram tecum olim potius quam
per epistulas! Hic tua, ut possum, tueor apud hos. Cetera Celer. Ipse
fugi adhuc omne munus eo magis, quod ita nihil poterat agi, ut mihi et
meis rebus aptum esset.
IVa
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Dyrrhachi inter XVI et XII K. Quint. a. 706_]
Quid sit gestum novi, quaeris. Ex Isidoro scire poteris. Reliqua non
videntur esse difficiliora. Tu id velim quod scis me maxime velle,
cures, ut scribis, ut facis. Me conficit sollicitudo, ex qua etiam
summa infirmitas corporis. Qua levata ero una cum eo, qui negotium
gerit estque in spe magna. Brutus amicus; in causa versatur acriter.
Hactenus fuit, quod caute a me scribi posset. Vale. De pensione
altera, oro te, omni cura considera quid faciendum sit, ut scripsi iis
litteris, quas Pollex tulit.
* * * * *
Page 361
property did not sell. So please see to her support yourself. As to
the estate at Frusino, if only I am to enjoy the fruits, it will be
convenient for me. You say I owe you a letter. Well, I am hindered
by want of matter, having nothing worth writing; for nothing that
happens and nothing that is done has my approbation at all. If only I
could talk with you instead of writing! Here to the best of my power
I conserve your interests with these people. The rest Celer will do.
Hitherto I have avoided every office, especially as it was impossible
for anything to be done in a way that suited me and my fortunes.
IVa
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Dyrrhachium, June 15 to 19_, B.C. _48_]
You ask what new moves have been made. Isidorus will tell you. I don't
think the rest of the task will be any more difficult. Please pay
attention to what you know is my greatest wish, as you say you are
doing. I am overwhelmed by care, and that brings with it also great
bodily infirmity. When that has passed, I shall go to the man who
is conducting the business and who is in high hopes.[171] Brutus is
friendly; and takes a keen part in the cause.
[171] I.e. Pompey, who had won a temporary success by piercing Caesar's
lines.
That is all that I can prudently commit to paper. Farewell. About the
second instalment of Tullia's dowry, pray consider carefully what ought
to be done, as I said in the letter, which Pollex took.
* * * * *
Page 362
V
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi pr. Non. Nov. a. 706_]
Quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae,
coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum
ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. Fuerunt quidem tantae, ut id, quod
vides, effecerint. Itaque, nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec
quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negotii vides.
Equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi, et eis, quas com muniter cum aliis
scripsisti, et eis quas tuo nomine quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te
subita re quas debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. Quod
scribis placere, ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam,
non sane video, quern ad modum id fieri possit. Neque enim ita apta
habeo devorsoria, ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque
ad id, quod quaeris, multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant
an in via. Sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo, quem ad modum
commodissime fieri posse videatur.
Ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere
plures litteras non potui; eis tantum rescripsi, a quibus acceperam.
Tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio
conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. Quod tanto intervallo nihil
omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto
* * * * *
Page 363
V
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, Nov. 4_, B.C. _48_]
What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which
swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than
by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of
mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see.
Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what
to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the
matter.
For my part I have gathered from your letters--both that which you
wrote in conjunction with others and the one you wrote in your own
name--what I saw myself too, that you are somewhat disconcerted by
my sudden move, and are looking for some new means of protecting
me. I don't quite see how I can do as you suggest and come nearer
to Rome, travelling through towns at night. For I have not suitable
stopping-places to spend all the days in; nor, for the point you are
aiming at, does it much matter whether I am seen in towns or on the
road. However I will consider how this plan, as well as others, can
most conveniently be carried out.
I am so fearfully upset both in mind and body that I have not been able
to write many letters; I have only answered those who have written to
me. I should like you to write in my name to Basilus and to anyone else
you like, even to Servilius, and say whatever you think fit. From this
letter you will quite understand that the reason why I have not written
to you at all for such a long time, is that I
* * * * *
Page 364
intellegis rem mihi desse, de qua scribam, non voluntatem.
Quod de Vatinio quaeris, neque illius neque cuiusquam mihi praeterea
officium desset, si reperire possent, qua in re me iuvarent. Quintus
aversissimo a me animo Patris fuit. Eodem Corcyra filius venit. Inde
profectos eos una cum ceteris arbitror.
VI
CICERO ATTICO SALUTEM DICIT.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi IV K. Dec. a. 706_]
Sollicitum esse te, cum de tuis communibusque fortunis, tum maxime
de me ac de dolore meo sentio. Qui quidem meus dolor non modo non
minuitur, cum socium sibi adiungit dolorem tuum, sed etiam augetur.
Omnino pro tua prudentia sentis, qua consolatione levari maxime
possim. Probas enim meum consilium negasque mihi quicquam tali tempore
potius faciendum fuisse. Addis etiam (quod etsi mihi levius est quam
tuum iudicium, tamen non est leve) ceteris quoque, id est qui pondus
habeant, factum nostrum probari. Id si ita putarem, levius dolerem.
"Crede," inquis, "mihi." Credo equidem, sed scio, quam cupias minui
dolorem meum. Me discessisse ab armis numquam paenituit. Tanta erat
in illis crudelitas, tanta cum barbaris gentibus coniunctio, ut non
nominatim, sed generatim proscriptio esset informata, ut iam omnium
iudicio constitutum esset omnium vestrum bona praedam esse illius
victoriae. "Vestrum" plane dico; numquam enim de te ipso nisi
* * * * *
Page 365
had nothing to write about, not that I did not wish to write.
For your query about Vatinius, neither he nor anyone else would fail
in service to me, if they could find any means of helping me. Quintus
showed the bitterest ill-feeling to me at Patrae. His son came thither
from Corcyra: and I suppose they have set out from there with the
others.
VI
CICERO to ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, November 27_, B.C. _48_]
I see you are anxious about your own fate and the fate of us all, and
especially about me and my sorrows; but my sorrows are not lessened one
whit by the addition of yours in sympathy, they are even increased.
Of course your own intelligence makes you feel what consolation can
comfort me most: for you approve of my plan and say that under the
circumstances I could not have done anything better. You add something,
which does not weigh with me so much as your judgement, though it
has some weight, that every one else--I mean every one else who
matters--approves of what I did. If I could persuade myself of that, I
should feel less sorrow. "Believe me," you say. I do believe you; but I
know how anxious you are to relieve my sorrow. I have never regretted
leaving the camp. Cruelty was so rampant there, and there was so close
an alliance with barbarian nations, that a plan was sketched out for
a proscription not of persons but of whole classes; and everybody had
made up their minds that the property of you all was to be the prize of
his victory. I say "you" advisedly, for none
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Page 366
crudelissime cogitatum est. Quare voluntatis me meae numquam
paenitebit, consilii paenitet. In oppido aliquo mallem resedisse, quoad
accerserer: minus sermonis subissem, minus accepissem doloris; ipsum
hoc me non angeret. Brundisi iacere in omnes partes est molestum.
Propius accedere, ut suades, quo modo sine lictoribus, quos populus
dedit, possum? qui mihi incolumi adimi non possunt. Quos ego nunc
paulisper cum bacillis in turbam conieci ad oppidum accedens, ne
quis impetus militum fieret. Reliquo tempore me domi tenui.[172]
Ad Oppium et Balbum scripsi,[173] quonam iis placeret modo propius
accedere, ut hac de re considerarent. Credo fore auctores. Sic enim
recipiunt, Caesari non modo de conservanda, sed etiam de augenda mea
dignitate curae fore, meque hortantur, ut magno animo sim, ut omnia
summa sperem. Ea spondent, confirmant. Quae quidem mihi exploratiora
essent, si remansissem. Sed ingero praeterita; vide, quaeso, igitur
ea, quae restant, et explora cum istis, et, si putabis opus esse, et
si istis placebit, quo magis factam nostrum Caesar probet quasi de
suorum sententia factum, adhibeantur Trebonius, Pansa, si qui alii,
scribantque ad Caesarem me, quicquid fecerim, de sua sententia fecisse.
[172] Reliquo tempore me domi tenui _Hofmann_: recipio tempore me domo
te nunc _MSS._
[173] Balbum scripsi _added by Lambinus and Lehmann_.
Tulliae meae morbus et imbecillitas corporis me exanimat. Quam tibi
intellego magnae curae esse, quod est mihi gratissimum. De Pompei exitu
mihi
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Page 367
but the cruellest thoughts were entertained about you personally. So
I shall never regret my resolve; but I do regret my plan of action.
I wish I had settled down in some town, till I was called for. There
would have been less talk about me, less pain for me; this particular
regret at any rate would not be worrying me. To remain inactive at
Brundisium is annoying from every point of view. And how can I go
nearer to Rome, as you advise, without the lictors given me by the
people? They cannot be taken from me without depriving me of my rights.
Only lately, as I was approaching Brundisium, I made them mix with the
crowd with nothing but sticks in their hands for fear the soldiery
might attack them: ever since I have kept at home. I have written to
Oppius and to Balbus, asking them to consider how I can move nearer
to Rome. I think they will advise me to do so. For they promise that
Caesar will be anxious not only to preserve my dignity, but even to
increase it; and they bid me be of good cheer and entertain the highest
of hopes. This they warrant and guarantee. Personally I should have
felt surer about it, if I had stayed where I was. But that is harping
on the past; so pray look to the future and investigate the matter
with them, and, if you think it necessary and they approve, call in
Trebonius, Pansa and anyone else you like, that I may win Caesar's
approval by appearing to follow his friends' advice, and let them write
to Caesar, telling him that, what I have done, I did at their advice.
My dear Tullia's illness and weakness frightens me to death. I
understand you are taking great care of her, and I am very grateful.
About Pompey's end
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Page 368
dubium numquam fuit. Tanta enim desperatio rerum eius omnium regum
et populorum animos occuparat, ut, quocumque venisset, hoc putarem
futurum. Non possum eius casum non dolere; hominem enim integrum et
castum et gravem cognovi. De Fannio consoler te? Perniciosa loquebatur
de mansione tua. L. vero Lentulus Hortensi domum sibi et Caesaris
hortos et Baias desponderat. Omnino haec eodem modo ex hac parte fiunt,
nisi quod illud erat infintum. Omnes enim, qui in Italia manserant,
hostium numero habebantur. Sed velim haec aliquando solutiore animo.
Quintum fratrem audio profectum in Asiam, ut deprecaretur. De filio
nihil audivi; sed quaere ex Diochare, Caesaris liberto, quem ego non
vidi, qui istas Alexandrea litteras attulit. Is dicitur vidisse Quintum
euntem an iam in Asia. Tuas litteras, prout res postulat, exspecto.
Quas velim cures quam primum ad me perferendas. IIII K. Decembr.
VII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi XIV Kal. Ian. a. 706_]
Gratae tuae mihi litterae sunt, quibus accurate perscripsisti omnia,
quae ad me pertinere arbitratus es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis
placere et placere[174] isdem istis lictoribus me uti, quod concessum
Sestio
[174] es. Et factum igitur tu scribis istis placere et placere
_Steinkopf_: est ea factum igitur ut scribis istis placere _MSS._
* * * * *
Page 369
I never had any doubt. For despair of his success had so completely
taken possession of the minds of all the kings and peoples, that I
thought this would happen to him, wherever he might go. I cannot help
feeling sorry for his fate, for I knew him to be a man of honour and
high moral principle. Am I to condole with you about Fannius? He used
to speak virulently of you for staying in Rome. L. Lentulus, you know,
had promised himself Hortensius' house, Caesar's gardens, and a place
at Baiae. Precisely the same is taking place on this side too, except
that on the other there was no limit. For they counted every one who
stayed in Italy as an enemy. But I would rather speak of this sometime
when I am less worried.
I hear my brother Quintus has set out for Asia to make his peace. About
his son I have heard nothing; but ask Diochares, Caesar's freedman, who
brought those letters from Alexandria. I have not seen him. He is said
to have seen Quintus either on the way, or was it already in Asia? I am
looking forward to a letter from you, as the occasion demands. Please
try to get it conveyed to me as soon as possible.
November 27.
VII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, Dec. 17_, B.C. _48_]
I am much obliged to you for your letter, in which you have recorded
carefully everything you think concerns me. So you say that they
approve both of my actions, and of my keeping my lictors, as Sestius
is allowed to keep his: though in his case I think it is not so much a
question of being allowed to keep
* * * * *
Page 370
sit; cui non puto suos esse concessos, sed ad ipso datos. Audio enim
eum ea senatus consulta improbare, quae post discessum tribunorum
facta sunt. Quare poterit, si volet sibi constare, nostros lictores
comprobare,
Quamquam quid ego de lictoribus, qui paene ex Italia decedere sim
iussus? Nam ad me misit Antonius exemplum Caesaris ad se litterarum,
in quibus erat se audisse Catonem et L. Metellum in Italiam venisse,
Romae ut essent palam. Id sibi non placere, ne qui motus ex eo fierent;
prohiberique omnes Italia, nisi quorum ipse causam cognovisset;
deque eo vehementius erat scriptum. Itaque Antonius petebat a me per
litteras, ut sibi ignoscerem; facere se non posse, quin iis litteris
pareret. Tum ad eum misi L. Lamiam, qui demonstraret illum Dolabellae
dixisse, ut ad me scriberet, ut in Italiam quam primum venirem; eius
me litteris venisse. Tum ille edixit ita, ut me exciperet et Laelium
nominatim. Quod sane nollem; poterat enim sine nomine res ipsa excipi.
O multas et graves offensiones! quas quidem tu das operam ut lenias,
nec tamen nihil proficis, quin hoc ipso minuis dolorem meum, quod,
ut minuas, tam valde laboras; idque velim ne gravere quam saepissime
facere. Maxime autem adsequere, quod vis, si me adduxeris, ut existimem
me bonorum iudicium non funditus perdidisse. Quamquam quid tu in eo
potes? Nihil scilicet. Sed, si quid res dabit tibi facultatis, id me
maxima consolari poterit; quod nunc quidem
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Page 371
them as of their being assigned to him by Caesar himself. For I am told
he repudiates all the decrees of the Senate which were passed after the
departure of the tribunes. So, if he wants to be consistent, he will be
able to approve my lictors.
However, what is the use of talking about lictors, when I have almost
been ordered to leave Italy. For Antony has sent me a copy of a letter
from Caesar, in which he said he had heard that Cato and L. Metellus
had come to Italy and intended to live openly at Rome: that he did not
like, for fear it might cause some disturbance: and that none may enter
Italy, until he has himself investigated their case. He put the point
very strongly. So Antony wrote asking my pardon, and saying he could
not help obeying the letter. Then I sent L. Lamia to him to point out
that Caesar had told Dolabella to write and tell me to come to Italy as
soon as possible: and that it was on the strength of that letter that
I had come. Then Antony issued an edict excepting myself and Laelius
by name. I wish he had not done that: he might have made an exception
without mentioning names.
What a heap of troubles and how serious too! And you are doing your
best to make them lighter, and with some success--indeed that you try
so hard to relieve me is some relief in itself. I hope you won't find
it a burden to do so as often as possible. But you will succeed in your
object best, if you can convince me that I have not entirely lost the
good opinion of the loyal party. Yet what can you do in that matter?
Nothing of course. But, if anything gives a chance, that is what will
best console me. I see that at present it is impossible:
* * * * *
Page 372
video non esse, sed, si quid ex eventis, ut hoc nunc accidit. Dicebar
debuisse cum Pompeio proficisci. Exitus illius minuit eius officii
praetermissi reprehensionem. Sed ex omnibus nihil magis tamem
desideratur, quam quod in Africam non ierim. Iudicio hoc sum usus, non
esse barbaris auxiliis fallacissimae gentis rem publicam defendendam,
praesertim contra exercitum saepe victorem, Non probant fortasse;
multos enim viros bonos in Africam venisse audio et scio fuisse antea.
Valde hoc loco urgeor. Hic quoque opus est casu, ut aliqui sint ex
eis, aut, si potest, omnes qui salutem anteponant. Nam, si perseverant
et obtinent, quid nobis futurum sit, vides. Dices: "Quid illis, si
victi erunt?" Honestior est plaga. Haec me excruciant. Sulpici autem
consilium non scripsisti cur meo non anteponeres. Quod etsi non tam
gloriosum est quam Catonis, tamen et periculo vacuum est et dolore.
Extremum est eorum, qui in Achaia sunt. Ei tamen ipsi se hoc melius
habent quam nos, quod et multi sunt uno in loco, et, cum in Italiam
venerint, domum statim venerint. Haec tu perge, ut facis, mitigare et
probare quam plurimis.
Quod te excusas, ego vero et tuas causas nosco et mea interesse puto te
istic esse, vel ut cum eis, quibus oportebit, agas, quae erunt agenda
de nobis,
* * * * *
Page 373
but if anything does turns up, as in this present case. It used to be
said that I ought to have gone with Pompey: but now his death tends to
absolve me from blame for neglecting my duty in that case. But where I
am thought to have been most lacking is in not going to Africa. My view
was that barbarian auxiliaries drawn from a most deceitful race were
not the proper persons to defend the State, especially against an army
which had won so many victories. That view may not meet with approval;
for I hear that many patriots have arrived in Africa, and I know there
were some there before. This is a point that really bothers me: and
here again I must trust to luck, that there may be some of them, or,
if such a thing is possible, all of them, who put safety first. For,
if they hold fast and succeed, you can see what a position I shall be
in. You will say "How about it, if they are defeated?" That is a more
honourable blow. This is what tortures me. However, you have not told
me why you do not prefer Sulpicius' policy to mine. It may not be so
glorious as Cato's: but it is at any rate free from danger and regret.
The last case is that of those who stayed in Achaia. Even they are in
a better position than I am, because there are many of them together,
and, when they do come to Italy, they will go straight home. Please
continue your efforts to ameliorate my position and to win over as many
people as possible to approval.
You explain why you do not come. Yes, I know your reasons and think it
is to my interest that you should stay where you are, for one thing
that you may be able to carry out any necessary negotiations about me
with the proper persons, as you have done.
* * * * *
Page 374
ut ea, quae egisti. In primisque hoc velim animadvertas. Multos esse
arbitror, qui ad Caesarem detulerint delaturive sint me aut paenitere
consilli mei aut non probare, quae fiant. Quorum etsi utrumque
verum est, tamen ab illis dicitur animo a me alienato, non quo ita
esse perspexerint. Sed totum in eo est, ut hoc Balbus sustineat et
Oppius, et eorum crebis litteris illius voluntas erga me confirmetur.
Et hoc plane ut fiat, diligentiam adhibeis. Alterum est, cur te
nolim discedere, quod scribis Tulliam te flagitare. O rem miseram!
quid scribam aut quid velim? Breve faciam, lacrimae enim se subito
profunderunt. Tibi permitto, tu consule; tantum vide, ne hoc tempore
isti obesse aliquid possit. Ignosce, obsecro te. Non possum prae fletu
et dolore diutius in hoc loco commorari. Tantum dicam, nihil mihi
gratius esse, quam quod eam diligis.
Quod litteras, quibus putas opus esse, curas dandas, facis commode.
Quintum filium vidi qui Sami vidisset, patrem Sicyone. Quorum
deprecatio est facilis. Utinam illi qui prius illum viderent, me apud
eum velint adiutum tantum, quantum ego illos vellem, si quid possem!
Quod rogas, ut in bonam partem accipiam, si qua sint in tuis litteris,
quae me mordeant, ego vero in optimam, teque rogo, ut aperte, quem ad
modum facis, scribas ad me omnia idque facias quam saepissime. Vale
XIIII K. Ian.
* * * * *
Page 375
And in the first place I should like to call your attention to this
point. I think there are many who have reported or will report to
Caesar either that I am repenting of my policy or that I do not approve
of recent events. Though both are true, they say it out of spite
against me, not because they have seen it to be so. Everything rests
on the support of Balbus and Oppius, and on their confirming Caesar's
good will to me by sending him frequent letters. Please do your best
to bring this about. The other reason why I prefer you not to leave is
that you say Tullia begs for your assistance. What a misfortune? What
can I say? What can I even wish? I will cut the matter short, for tears
spring to my eyes at once. I give you a free hand: do you look to it.
Only take care that nothing is done under the present circumstances to
offend the great man. I crave your pardon. Tears and sorrow prevent me
from dwelling any longer on this topic. I will only add that nothing
makes me feel more grateful to you than your love for her.
You are quite right to send letters for me to anyone to whom you think
it necessary. I have met a man who saw young Quintus at Samos and his
father at Sicyon. They will easily obtain their pardon. I only hope,
that, as they will see Caesar first, they will think fit to further my
case with him, as much as I should have furthered theirs, if I had been
able.
You ask me to take it in good part, if there is anything in your
letters that wounds my feelings. I promise you to take it in the best
possible part, and I beg you to write everything quite openly, as you
do, and to do so as often as possible. Farewell.
Dec. 17.
* * * * *
Page 376
VIII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi XIII K. Ian. a. 706_]
Quantis curis conficiar, etsi profecto vides, tamen cognosces ex Lepta
et Trebatio. Maximas poenas pendo temeritatis meae, quam tu prudentiam
mihi videri vis; neque te deterreo, quo minus id disputes scribasque
ad me quam saepissime. Non nihil enim me levant tuae litterae hoc
tempore. Per eos, qui nostra causa volunt valentque apud illum,
diligentissime contendas opus est, per Balbum et Oppium maxime, ut
de me scribant quam diligentissime. Oppugnamur enim, ut audio, et a
praesentibus quibusdam et per litteras. Eis ita est occurrendum, ut
rei magnitudo postulat. Fufius est illic, mihi inimicissimus. Quintus
misit filium non solum sui deprecatorem, sed etiam accusatorem mei.
Dictitat se a me apud Caesarem oppugnari, quod refellit Caesar ipse
omnesque eius amici. Neque vero desistit, ubicumque est, omnia in me
maledicta conferre, Nihil mihi umquam tam incredibile accidit, nihil in
his malis tam acerbum. Qui ex ipso audissent, cum Sicyone palam multis
audientibus loqueretur nefaria quaedam, ad me pertulerunt. Nosti genus,
etiam expertus es fortasse. In me id est omne conversum. Sed augeo
commemorando dolorem et facio etiam tibi. Quare ad illud redeo. Cura,
ut huius rei causa dedita opera mittat
* * * * *
Page 377
VIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium Dec. 18_, B.C. _48_]
Though of course you see for yourself in what distress I am, you will
learn more about it from Lepta and Trebatius. I am paying very heavily
for my rashness, which you want to persuade me was prudence: and I
don't want to stop you arguing that it was and writing to me to that
effect as often as possible. For your letters afford me a good deal
of relief under the present circumstances. You must use your utmost
endeavour with those who are my supporters and have influence with
him--Balbus and Oppius especially--to make them write about me as
strongly as possible. For I hear that I am being attacked by some who
are with him, and also by letter. Their attack must be met, as the
importance of the matter demands. Fufius, a very bitter enemy of mine,
is there. Quintus sent his son not only to make peace for himself, but
to accuse me. He keeps saying that I am trying to set Caesar against
him, though Caesar and all his friends deny it. And he does not cease,
wherever he is, from heaping all sorts of abuse on me. It is the most
surprising thing that ever happened to me and the bitterest of all
my present sorrows. Those who reported the matter to me professed to
have heard it from his own lips, when he was slandering me at Sicyon
in the hearing of many. You know his way; indeed you may have had some
personal experience of it. Now it is all turned on me. But I increase
my own sorrow, and yours too, by speaking of it. So I return to my
first point. Take care that Balbus sends some one expressly
* * * * *
Page 378
aliquem Balbus. Ad quos videbitur, velim cures litteras meo nomine.
Vale. XIII Kal. Ian.
IX
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi III Non. Ian. a. 707_]
Ego vero et incaute, ut scribis, et celerius, quam oportuit, feci, nec
in ulla sum spe, quippe qui exceptionibus edictorum retinear. Quae si
non essent sedulitate effectae et benevolentia tua, liceret mihi abire
in solitudines aliquas. Nunc ne id quidem licet. Quid autem me iuvat,
quod ante initum tribunatum veni, si ipsum, quod veni, nihil iuvat? Iam
quid sperem ab eo, qui mihi amicus numquam fuit, cum iam lege etiam sim
confectus et oppressus? Cotidie iam Balbi ad me litterae languidiores,
multaeque multorum ad illum fortasse contra me. Meo vitio pereo; nihil
mihi mali casus attulit, omnia culpa contracta sunt. Ego enim, cum
genus belli viderem, imparata et infirma omnia contra paratissimos,
statueram, quid facerem, ceperamque consilium non tam forte quam mihi
praeter ceteros concedendum. Cessi meis vel potius parui. Ex quibus
unus qua mente fuerit, is quem tu mihi commendas, cognosces ex ipsius
litteris, quas ad te et ad alios misit. Quas ego numquam aperuissem,
nisi res acta sic esset. Delatus est ad me fasciculus. Solvi, si quid
ad me esset litterarum. Nihil erat, epistula Vatinio et Ligurio altera.
Iussi ad eos deferri. Illi ad me
* * * * *
Page 379
for this purpose. Please send letters in my name to anyone you think
should have them. Farewell.
Dec. 18.
IX
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, Jan. 3_, B.C. _47_]
I have certainly acted incautiously, as you say, and more hastily than
I should; and I have no hope seeing that I am tied here by the special
clause in the edict. If that had not been inserted by your own kind
efforts, I might have gone to some lonely retreat. Now not even that is
open to me. How does it help me that I came before the tribunes entered
on office, when my coming at all does not help? And what have I now
to hope from a man who never was friendly with me, when my ruin and
humiliation is secured even by law? Balbus' letters to me are becoming
daily cooler, and it may be he receives dozens against me. My own fault
is my ruin. Fortune has brought no ills upon me: I have brought them
all on my own head. For when I saw what kind of war it was going to be,
one side unprepared and weak and the other thoroughly well prepared, I
had made my plan--not a very courageous plan perhaps, but one for which
there were special excuses in my case. I gave way to my relations, or
rather I obeyed them. What the real feelings of one of them were--the
one for whom you speak--you will know from the letters he has sent to
you and to others. I should never have opened them, had it not been
for the following circumstance. A packet was brought to me. I undid
it to see if there was any letter for me. There was none; but one for
Vatinius and another for Ligurius. Those I had
* * * * *
Page 380
statim ardentes dolore venerunt scelus hominis clamantes; epistulas
mihi legerunt plenas omnium in me probrorum. Hic Ligurius furere. "Se
enim scire summo illum in odio fuisse Caesari. Illum tamen non modo
favisse, sed etiam tantam illi pecuniam dedisse honoris mei causa." Hoc
ego dolore accepto volui scire, quid scripsisset ad ceteros; ipsi enim
illi putavi perniciosum fore, si eius hoc tantum scelus percrebruisset.
Cognovi eiusdem generis. Ad te misi. Quas si putabis illi ipsi utile
esse reddi, reddes. Nil me laedet. Nam, quod resignatae sunt, habet,
opinor, eius signum Pomponia. Hac ille acerbitate initio navigationis
cum usus esset, tanto me dolore adfecit, ut postea iacuerim, neque nunc
tam pro se quam contra me laborare dicitur.
Ita omnibus rebus urgeor; quas sustinere vix possum vel plane nullo
modo possum. Quibus in miseriis una est pro omnibus, quod istam miseram
patrimonio, fortuna omni spoliatam relinquam. Quare te, ut polliceris,
videre plane velim. Alium enim, cui illam commendem, habeo neminem,
quoniam matri quoque eadem intellexi esse parata quae mihi. Sed, si me
non offendes, satis tamen habeto commendatam, patruumque in ea, quantum
poteris, mitigato.
Haec ad te die natali meo scripsi. Quo utinam susceptus non essem,
aut ne quid ex eadem matre postea natum esset! Plura scribere fletu
prohibeor.
* * * * *
Page 381
sent to them. They came to me at once boiling with indignation and
crying shame on him, and they read me letters full of all kinds of
abuse of myself. Then Ligurius burst out with fury, "to his certain
knowledge Caesar detested Quintus and had favoured him and given him
all that money out of compliment to me." After this blow I wanted
to know what he had said to the others: for I thought it would be
disastrous to his own reputation if such a scandal got abroad. I found
they were all of a piece, and have sent them to you. If you think it
will do him any good to have them delivered, have them delivered. It
won't do me any harm. Though the seals are broken, I think Pomponia
has his signet. When, at the beginning of our voyage, he adopted this
bitter tone, I was so upset that I was prostrated afterwards; and now
he is said to be working against me rather than for himself.
So I am weighed down by such a heavy burden of griefs that I can hardly
bear up under it; indeed, I cannot possibly bear up under it. And among
all my miseries there is one that outweighs all the rest--that I shall
leave that poor girl[175] deprived of her patrimony and penniless.
So I hope you will fulfil your promise and look after her. I have no
one else to entrust her to, for I hear that her mother is threatened
with the same fate as myself. If you do not find me here, take this as
sufficient injunction as regards her, and soften her uncle towards her
as far as you can.
[175] Tullia.
This I am writing on my birthday. Would that I had been left to die on
the day of my birth, or that my mother had never had another child.
Tears prevent me from writing more.
* * * * *
Page 382
X
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi XII K. Febr. a. 707_]
Ad meas incredibiles aegritudines aliquid novi accedit ex iis, quae de
Q. Q. ad me adferuntur. P. Terentius, meus necessarius, operas in portu
et scriptura Asiae pro magistro dedit. Is Quintum filium Ephesi vidit
VI Idus Decembr. eumque studiose propter amicitiam nostram invitavit;
cumque ex eo de me percontaretur, eum sibi ita dixisse narrabat, se
mihi esse inimicissimum, volumenque sibi ostendisse orationis, quam
apud Caesarem contra me esset habiturus. Multa a se dicta contra eius
amentiam. Multa postea Patris simili scelere secum Quintum patrem
locutum; cuius furorem ex iis epistulis, quas ad te misi, perspicere
potuisti. Haec tibi dolori esse certo scio; me quidem excruciant, et eo
magis, quod mihi cum illis ne querendi quidem locum futurum puto.
De Africanis rebus longe alia nobis, ac tu scripseras, nuntiantur.
Nihil enim firmius esse dicunt, nihil paratius. Accedit Hispania et
alienata Italia, legionum nec vis eadem nec voluntas, urbanae res
perditae. Quid est, ubi acquiescam, nisi quam diu tuas litteras lego?
Quae essent profecto crebriores, si quid haberes, quo putares meam
molestiam minui posse. Sed tamen te rogo, ut ne intermittas scribere
ad me, quicquid erit, eosque, qui mihi tam crudeliter inimici sunt, si
odisse non potes, accuses tamen
* * * * *
Page 383
X
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium Jan. 19_, B.C. _47_]
To my sorrows, which are incalculable, there has come an addition
in the news that is brought me about the two Quinti. My friend P.
Terentius was acting as deputy to the collector of port-dues and
pasture tax in Asia, and he saw young Quintus at Ephesus on the 8th
of December and gave him a cordial invitation on account of our
friendship. And when he asked him something about me, Quintus told
him that I was his deadliest enemy and showed him the manuscript of a
speech which he said he was going to deliver before Caesar against me.
Terentius said all he could to dissuade him from such folly. Afterwards
at Patrae the elder Quintus talked freely to him in the same scandalous
strain. What a rage he is in you will have inferred from the letters
I sent you. I am sure this will grieve you. To me it is positive
torture, especially as I don't expect I shall even have a chance of
expostulating with them.
The news I get about the state of affairs in Africa is quite different
to what you sent me. They say that all is as strong and as ready as
possible. Then there are Spain and Italy alienated from Caesar; his
legions are not what they were either in strength or in loyalty; and
in the city things are in a poor plight; I cannot get a moment's
peace except when I am reading your letters. They would certainly be
more frequent, if you had any news which you thought would lighten my
sorrows. Still I beg you not to neglect writing to me, whatever the
news may be; and, if you cannot bring yourself to hate those who have
shown such unfeeling hostility to me, at
* * * * *
Page 384
non ut aliquid proficias, sed ut tibi me carum esse sentiant. Plura
ad te scribam, si mihi ad eas litteras, quas proxime ad te dedi,
rescripseris. Vale.
XII K. Febr.
XI
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707_]
Confectus iam cruciatu maximorum dolorum, ne si sit quidem, quod ad te
debeam scribere, facile id exsequi possim, hoc minus, quod res nulla
est, quae scribenda sit, cum praesertim ne spes quidem ulla ostendatur
fore melius. Ita iam ne tuas quidem litteras exspecto, quamquam semper
aliquid adferunt, quod velim. Quare tu quidem scribito, cum erit, cui
des. Ego tuis proximis, quas tamen iam pridem accepi, nihil habeo quod
rescribam; longo enim intervallo video immutata esse omnia; illa esse
firma, quae debeant, nos stultitiae nostrae gravissimas poenas pendere.
P. Sallustio curanda sunt HS X̅X̅X̅, quae accepi a Cn. Sallustio. Velim
videas, ut sine mora curentur. De ea re scripsi ad Terentiam. Atque hoc
ipsum iam prope consumptum est. Quare id quoque velim cum illa videas,
ut sit, qui utamur. Hic fortasse potero sumere, si sciam istic paratum
fore; sed, priusquam id scirem, nihil sum ausus sumere. Qui sit omnium
rerum status noster, vides. Nihil est mali, quod non et sustineam et
exspectem. Quarum
* * * * *
Page 385
any rate reprove them, not in the hope of doing any good, but to make
them feel that I am dear to you. I will write more, if you answer the
last letter I sent. Farewell.
Jan. 19.
XI
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, March 8_, B.C. _47_]
Worn out as I am by the agony of my grievous sorrows I should not find
it an easy task to write to you, even if there were anything I ought
to write; and it is far less easy, when I have nothing worth writing,
especially as there is not even a gleam of hope for better days. So
hopeless am I that now I do not look forward even to your letters,
though they always bring me something I like to hear. So pray write,
whenever you have a messenger. I have no answer to give to your last
letter, though it is a long time since I received it, for I see no
change in the long interval: the right cause is strong, and I am paying
very heavily for my folly.
The £250[176] which I had from Cn. Sallustius are to be paid to P.
Sallustius. Please see that it is done without delay. I have written
to Terentia about it. And now it is nearly all spent: so I wish you
would arrange with her for some money for me to go on with. I shall
possibly be able to get some here, if I know I have a balance at Rome;
but, before I know that, I dare not try. You see the position of all
my affairs. There is no sort of misfortune which I am not enduring and
expecting. For this state of affairs
[176] 30,000 sesterces.
* * * * *
Page 386
rerum eo gravior est dolor, quo culpa maior. Ille in Achaia non cessat
de nobis detrahere. Nihil videlicet tuae litterae profecerunt. Vale.
VIII Idus Mart.
XII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi VIII Id. Mart. a. 707_]
Cephalio mihi a te litteras reddidit a. d. VIII Id. Mart. vespere. Eo
autem die mane tabellarios miseram; quibus ad te dederam litteras.
Tuis tamen lectis litteris putavi iam aliquid rescribendum esse ea re
maxime, quod ostendis te pendere animi, quamnam rationem sim Caesari
allaturus profectionis meae tum, cum ex Italia discesserim. Nihil opus
est mihi nova ratione. Saepe enim ad eum scripsi multisque mandavi,
me non potuisse, cum cupissem, sermones hominum sustinere, multaque
in eam sententiam. Nihil enim erat, quod minus eum vellem existimare,
quam me tanta de re non meo consilio usum esse. Posteaque, cum mihi
litterae a Balbo Cornelio minore missae essent illum existimare Quintum
fratrem "lituum" meae profectionis fuisse (ita enim scripsit), qui
nondum cognossem, quae de me Quintus scripsisset ad multos, etsi multa
praesens in praesentem acerbe dixerat et fecerat, tamen nilo minus his
verbis ad Caesarem scripsi:
"De Quinto fratre meo non minus laboro quam de me ipso, sed eum tibi
commendare hoc meo tempore non audeo. Illud dumtaxat tamen audebo
petere
* * * * *
Page 387
I feel the greater sorrow, because my fault is greater. My brother in
Achaia does not cease slandering me. Your letter has of course had no
effect. Farewell.
March 8.
XII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, March 8_, B.C. _47_]
Cephalio delivered a letter from you on the 8th of March in the
evening. Now on the morning of the same day I had sent messengers and
had given them a letter for you. But, when I read yours, I thought
I ought to send some answer, particularly because you show you are
in doubt as to what explanation I am going to offer Caesar of my
departure when I did depart from Italy. I have no necessity for a new
explanation, for I have often told him myself and instructed others
to tell him that I could not put up with people's talk, although I
wished it, and much else to the same effect. For there is nothing that
I should be more unwilling for him to imagine than that I did not make
up my own mind on so important a question. Afterwards I received a
letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger saying that Caesar thought my
brother Quintus had sounded the bugle for my departure (that was his
expression). I was not then aware of what Quintus had written about
me to many people; but, though he had spoken and acted with great
bitterness when face to face with me, none the less I wrote to Caesar
as follows:
"I am as much troubled about my brother Quintus as about myself; but
under the present circumstances I do not venture to recommend him to
you. One thing, however, I will venture to ask you--I
* * * * *
Page 388
abs te, quod te oro, ne quid existimes ab illo factum esse, quo minus
mea in te officia constarent, minusve te diligerem, potiusque semper
illum auctorem nostrae coniunctionis fuisse, meique itineris comitem,
non ducem. Quare ceteris in rebus tantum ei tribues, quantum humanitas
tua amicitiaque vestra postulat. Ego ei ne quid apud te obsim, id te
vehementer etiam atque etiam rogo."
Quare, si quis congressus fuerit mihi cum Caesare, etsi non dubito,
quin is lenis in illum futurus sit idque iam declaraverit, ego tamen is
ero, qui semper fui. Sed, ut video, multo magis est nobis laborandum de
Africa; quam quidem tu scribis confirmari cotidie magis ad condicionis
spem quam victoriae. Quod utinam ita esset! Sed longe aliter esse
intellego teque ipsum ita existimare arbitror, aliter autem scribere
non fallendi, sed confirmandi mei causa, praesertim cum adiungatur ad
Africam etiam Hispania.
Quod me admones, ut scribam ad Antonium et ad ceteros, si quid
videbitur tibi opus esse, velim facias id, quod saepe fecisti. Nihil
enim mihi venit in mentem, quod scribendum putem. Quod me audis
erectiorem esse animo, quid putas, cum videas accessisse ad superiores
aegritudines praeclaras generi
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beseech you to acquit him of doing anything to disturb my sense of your
claims on me or to lessen my affection for you, and rather to regard
him as the main factor of our union and the companion, not the leader,
in my departure. And therefore in all other matters you will give
him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship
demands. What I earnestly beg you again and again is, that you will not
let me stand in his light with you."
So, if I ever do meet Caesar, though I have no doubt that he will be
lenient to Quintus and that he has already made that plain, I shall
behave as I always have behaved. But, as I see, what I ought to be
most anxious about is Africa, which you say is daily growing stronger,
though only to the extent of raising hopes of a compromise rather
than a victory. If it could only be true! But I read the signs quite
differently, and I think you agree with me, and only say the contrary
to hearten me, not to deceive me, especially as Spain too has now
joined Africa.[177]
[177] After his victory in Spain in 49 B.C., Caesar left Q. Cassius
Longinus in command there; but Spain went over to Pompey and both
Longinus and his successor, C. Trebonius, were driven out.
You advise me to write to Antony and others. If you think it necessary,
please do it for me, as you have often done before; for I cannot think
of anything worth writing. You hear I am less broken-spirited; but can
you believe it, when you see that to my former troubles are now added
my son-in-law's fine doings?[178] However, pray do not cease
[178] Dolabella as tribune endeavoured to introduce a bill for the
relief of debtors, which caused riots.
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actiones? Tu tamen velim ne intermittas, quod eius facere poteris,
scribere ad me, etiamsi rem, de qua scribas, non habebis. Semper enim
adferunt aliquid mihi tuae litterae.
Galeonis hereditatem crevi. Puto enim cretionem simplicem fuisse,
quoniam ad me nulla missa est.
VIII Idus Martias.
XIII
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi VII Id. Mart. aut paulo post, a. 707_]
A Murenae liberto nihil adhuc acceperam litterarum. P. Siser reddiderat
eas, quibus rescribo. De Servi patris litteris quod scribis, item
Quintum in Syriam venisse quod ais esse qui nuntient, ne id quidem
verum est. Quod certiorem te vis fieri, quo quisque in me animo sit aut
fuerit eorum, qui huc venerunt, neminem alieno intellexi. Sed, quantum
id mea intersit, existimare te posse certo scio. Mihi cum omnia sint
intolerabilia ad dolorem, tum maxime quod in eam causam venisse me
video, ut sola utilia mihi esse videantur, quae semper nolui.
P. Lentulum patrem Rhodi esse aiunt, Alexandreae filium, Rhodoque
Alexandream C. Cassium profectum esse constat. Quintus mihi per
litteras satis facit multo asperioribus verbis, quam cum gravissime
accusabat. Ait enim se ex litteris tuis intellegere tibi non placere,
quod ad multos de me asperius scripserit,
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doing what you can to hearten me, that is writing to me, even if you
have nothing to say. For a letter from you always brings me something.
I have accepted Galeo's legacy. I suppose it only required a simple
form of acceptance,[179] since none was sent to me.
[179] _cretio_ = the formal acceptance of a legacy, and _cretio
simplex_ apparently means that no restrictions on the form of
acceptance were laid down in the will.
March 8.
XIII
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brudisium, March 9_ (?), B.C. _47_]
I have not received any letter from Murena's freedman as yet. It was P.
Siser who delivered the one I am answering. You speak of a letter from
Servius' father, and you tell me some say that Quintus has landed in
Syria: neither is true. You want to be informed how those who have come
here feel or felt towards me. I have not found any ill-disposed: but,
how important that is to me, I am sure you can imagine. To me the whole
state of affairs is insufferably painful; and most of all that I have
got myself into such a case, that the only things that can be of any
use to me are precisely what I have always wished not to happen.
They say the elder P. Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria,
and it is certain that C. Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria.
Quintus has written to apologize to me in terms much more irritating
than when he was abusing me most violently. For he says that he
understands from your letter that you were annoyed with him for writing
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itaque se paenitere, quod animum tuum offenderit; sed se iure fecisse.
Deinde perscribit spurcissime, quas ob causas fecerit. Sed neque hoc
tempore nec antea patefecisset odium suum in me, nisi omnibus rebus me
esse oppressum videret. Atque utinam vel nocturnis, quem ad modum tu
scripseras, itineribus propius te accessissem! Nunc, nec ubi nec quando
te sim visurus, possum suspicari.