I
I am sometimes inclined to wonder whether, in very truth, those
Polchester Christmases of nearly thirty years ago were so marvellous
as now in retrospect they seem. I can give details of those splendours,
facts and figures, that to the onlooker are less than nothing at all--a
sugar elephant in a stocking, a box of pencils on a Christmas tree,
“Hark, the Herald Angels...” at three in the morning below one's window,
a lighted plum-pudding, a postman four hours late, his back bent with
bursting parcels. And it is something further--behind the sugar cherries
and the paper caps and the lighted tree--that remains to give magic
to those days; a sense of expectancy, a sense of richness, a sense of
worship, a visit from the Three Kings who have so seldom come to visit
one since.
That Christmas of Jeremy's ninth year was one of the best that he ever
had; it was perhaps the last of the MAGICAL Christmases. After this he
was to know too much, was to see Father Christmas vanish before a sum
in arithmetic, and a stocking change into something that “boys who go
to school never have”--the last of the Christmases of divine magic, when
the snow fell and the waits sang and the stockings were filled and the
turkey fattened and the candles blazed and the holly crackled by the
will of God rather than the power of man. It would be many years before
he would realise that, after all, in those early days he had been
right...
A very fat book could be written about all that had happened during that
wonderful Christmas, how Hamlet the Dog caught a rat to his own immense
surprise; how the Coles' Christmas dinner was followed by a play acted
with complete success by the junior members of the family, and it was
only Mr. Jellybrand the curate who disapproved; how Aunt Amy had a new
dress in which, by general consent, she looked ridiculous; how Mary,
owing to the foolish kindness of Mrs. Bartholomew, the Precentor's wife,
was introduced to the works of Charlotte Mary Yonge and became quite
impossible in consequence; how Miss Maple had a children's party at
which there was nothing to eat, so that all the children cried with
disappointment, and one small boy (the youngest son of the Precentor)
actually bit Miss Maple; how for two whole days it really seemed that
there would be skating on The Pool, and everyone bought skates, and
then, of course, the ice broke, and so on, and so on... there is no end
to the dramatic incidents of that great sensational time.
The theme that I sing, however, is Jeremy's Progress, and although even
Hamlet's catching of a rat influenced his development, there was one
incident of this Christmas that stands out and away from all the others,
an affair that he will never all his days forget, and that even now, at
this distance of time and experience, causes his heart to beat roughly
with the remembered excitement and pleasure.
Several weeks before Christmas there appeared upon the town walls
and hoardings the pictured announcements of the approaching visit to
Polchester of Denny's Great Christmas Pantomime “Dick Whittington.”
Boxing Night was to see the first performance at our Assembly Rooms,
and during every afternoon and evening of the next three weeks this
performance was to be repeated.
A pantomime had, I believe, never visited our town before; there had, of
course, for many years been the Great Christmas Pantomime at the Theatre
Royal, Drymouth, but in those days trains were not easy, and if you
wished to attend an afternoon performance at the Drymouth Theatre you
must rise very early in the morning by the candle-light and return late
in the evening, with the cab forgetting to meet you at the station as
commanded, and the long walk up Orange Street, and a headache and a bad
temper next day.
It happened naturally then that the majority of the Polchester children
had never set their inquisitive noses within the doors of a theatre, and
although the two eldest daughters of the Dean, aged ten and eleven, had
been once to London and to Drury Lane Theatre, their sense of glory and
distinction so clouded their powers of accuracy and clarity that we were
no nearer, by their help and authority, to the understanding of what a
pantomime might really be.
I can myself recall the glory of those “Dick Whittington” pictures. Just
above Martin's the pastry-cook's (where they sold lemon biscuits),
near the Cathedral, there was a big wooden hoarding, and on to this was
pasted a marvellous representation of Dick and his Cat dining with the
King of the Zanzibar Islands. The King, a Mulatto, sat with his court
in a hall with golden pillars, and the rats were to be seen flying in a
confused flood towards the golden gates, whilst Dick, in red plush and
diamond buckles, stood in dignified majesty, the Cat at his side. There
was another wonderful picture of Dick asleep at the Cross Roads, fairies
watching over him, and London Town in a lighted purple distance--and
another of the streets of Old London with a comic fat serving man,
diamond-paned windows, cobblestones and high pointing eaves to the
houses.
Jeremy saw these pictures for the first time during one of his afternoon
walks, and returned home in such a state of choking excitement that
he could not drink his tea. As was ever his way he was silent and
controlled about the matter, asked very few questions, and although
he talked to himself a little did not disturb the general peace of the
nursery. On Mary and Helen the effect of the posters had been less. Mary
was following the adventures of the May family in “The Daisy Chain,” and
Helen was making necklaces for herself out of a box of beads that had
been given her.
When Jeremy said once, “Who was the man in the red trousers with gold
on them?” no one paid any attention save Hamlet, who wagged his tail,
looked wise and growled a little.
Who indeed could tell how he ached and longed and desired He had a very
vague idea as to the nature of a play; they had often dressed up at home
and pretended to be different things and people, and, of course, he knew
by heart the whole history of Dick Whittington, but this knowledge
and experience did not in the least force him to realise that this
performance of Mr. Denny's was simply a larger, more developed “dressing
up” and pretending. In some mysterious but nevertheless direct fashion
Dick Whittington was coming to Polchester. It was just as he had
heard for a long time of the existence of Aunt Emily who lived in
Manchester--and then one day she appeared in a black bonnet and a shawl,
and gave them wet kisses and sixpence apiece.
Dick Whittington was coming, having perhaps heard that Polchester was
a very jolly place. So might come any day Jack of the Beanstalk,
Cinderella, Queen Victoria, and God.
There were questions meanwhile that he would like to ask, but he was
already a victim to that properly English fear of making a fool of
himself, so he asked nothing. He dragged out his toy village and
tried to make it a bridge in his imagination between the nursery and
Whittington's world. As the village opened a door from the nursery, so
might Whittington open a door from the village.
He considered Hamlet and wondered whether he knew anything about it.
Hamlet, in spite of his mongrel appearance, was a very clever dog. He
had his especial corners in the garden, the kitchen and the nursery. He
never misbehaved, was never in the way, and was able to amuse himself
for hours together. Although he attached himself quite deliberately to
Jeremy, he did this in no sentimental fashion, and in his animosities
towards the Jampot, Aunt Amy and the boy who helped with the boots and
the knives, he was always restrained and courteous. He did indeed
growl at Aunt Amy, but always with such a sense of humour that everyone
(except Aunt Amy) was charmed, and he never actually supported the
children in their rebellions against the Jampot, although you could see
that he liked and approved of such things. The Jampot hated him with a
passion that caused the nursery to quiver with emotion. Was he not the
cause of her approaching departure, his first appearance having led her
into a tempest of passion that had caused her to offer a “notice” that
she had never for an instant imagined would be accepted? Was he not a
devilish dog who, with, his quiet movements and sly expressions, was
more than human? “Mark my words,” she said in the kitchen, “there's
a devil in that there animal, and so they'll find before they're many
years older--'Amlet indeed--a 'eathenish name and a 'eathenish beast.”
Her enemy had discovered that in one corner of the nursery there were
signs and symbols that witnessed to something in the nature of a
mouse or a rat. That nursery corner became the centre of all his more
adventurous instincts. It happened to be just the corner where the
Jampot kept her sewing machine, and you would think, if you came to the
nursery as a stranger, and saw him sitting, his eyes fixed beamingly
upon the machine, his tail erect, and his body here and there quivering
a little, that from duties of manly devotion he was protecting the
Jampot's property. She knew better; she regarded, in some undefined way,
this continued contemplation by him of her possessions as an ironical
insult. She did everything possible to drive him from the corner; he
inevitably returned, and as he always delicately stepped aside when she
approached, it could not be said that he was in her way. Once she struck
him; he looked at her in such a fashion that “her flesh crept.”... She
never struck him again.
For Jeremy he became more and more of a delight. He understood so
much. He sympathised, he congratulated, he sported, always at the right
moment. He would sit gravely at Jeremy's feet, his body pressed against
Jeremy's leg, one leg stuck out square, his eyes fixed inquisitively
upon the nursery scene. He would be motionless; then suddenly some
thought would electrify him--his ears would cock, his eyes shine,
his nose quiver, his tail tumble. The crisis would pass; he would be
composed once more. He would slide down to the floor, his whole body
collapsing; his head would rest upon Jeremy's foot; he would dream of
cats, of rats, of birds, of the Jampot, of beef and gravy, of sugar, of
being washed, of the dogs' Valhalla, of fire and warmth, of Jeremy, of
walks when every piece of flying paper was a challenge, of dogs, dogs
that he had known of when he was a puppy, of doing things he shouldn't,
of punishment and wisdom, pride and anger, of love-affairs of his youth,
of battle, of settling-down, of love-affairs in the future, again of
cats and beef, and smells--smells--smells, again of Jeremy, whom he
loved. And Jeremy, watching him now, thus sleeping, and thinking of Dick
Whittington, wondered why it was that a dog would understand so easily,
without explanations, the thoughts and desires he had, and that
all grown-up people would not understand, and would demand so many
explanations, and would laugh at one, and pity one, and despise one. Why
was it? he asked himself.
“I know,” he suddenly cried, turning upon Helen; “it can be your
birthday treat!”
“What can?” she asked.
“Why, going to Dick Whittington--all of us.”
Helen had, most unfortunately for herself, a birthday only a week after
Christmas, the result being that, in her own opinion at any rate,
she never received “proper presents” on either of those two great
present-giving occasions. She was always allowed, however, a “treat”;
her requests were generally in the nature of food; once of a ride in the
train; once even a visit to the Polchester Museum... It was difficult in
those days to find “treats” in Polchester.
“Oh, do you think they'd let us?” she said, her eyes wide.
“We can try,” said Jeremy. “I heard Aunt Amy say the other day that she
didn't think it was right for children to see acting, and Mother always
does the opposite to what Aunt Amy says, so p'r'aps it will be all
right. I wish Hamlet could go,” he added.
“Don't be silly!” said Helen.
“It isn't silly,” Jeremy said indignantly. “It's all about a cat,
anyway, and he'd love to see all the rats and things. He wouldn't bark
if we told him not to, and I held his collar.”
“If Aunt Amy sat next him he would,” said Mary.
“Oh, bother Aunt Amy,” said Jeremy.
After this Helen needed a great deal of urging; but she heard that Lucy
and Angela, the aforesaid daughters of the Dean, were going, and the
spirit of rivalry drove her forward.
It happened that the Dean himself one day said something to Mr. Cole
about “supporting a very praiseworthy effort. They are presenting,
I understand, the proceeds of the first performance to the Cathedral
Orphanage.”
Helen was surprised at the readiness with which her request was granted.
“We'll all go,” said Mr. Cole, in his genial, pastoral fashion. “Good
for us... good for us... to see the little ones laugh. .. good for us
all.”
Only Uncle Samuel said “that nothing would induce him--”
II
I pass swiftly over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after,
although I should like to linger upon these sumptuous dates. Jeremy had
a sumptuous time; Hamlet had a sumptuous time (a whole sugar rat, plates
and plates of bones, and a shoe of Aunt Amy's); Mary and Helen had
sumptuous times in their own feminine fashion.
Upon the evening of Christmas Eve, when the earth was snow-lit, and
the street-lamps sparkled with crystals, and the rime on the doorsteps
crackled beneath one's feet, Jeremy accompanied his mother on a
present-leaving expedition. The excitement of that! The wonderful shapes
and sizes of the parcels, the mysterious streets, the door-handles and
the door-bells, the glittering stars, the maidservants, the sense of the
lighted house, as though you opened a box full of excitements and then
hurriedly shut the lid down again. Jeremy trembled and shook, not with
cold, but with exalting, completely satisfying happiness.
There followed the Stocking, the Waits, the Carols, the Turkey, the
Christmas Cake, the Tree, the Presents, Snapdragon, Bed... There
followed Headache, Ill-temper, Smacking of Mary, Afternoon Walk, Good
Temper again, Complete Weariness, Hamlet sick on the Golden Cockatoos,
Hamlet Beaten, Five minutes with Mother downstairs, Bed. .. Christmas
was over.
From that moment of the passing of Boxing Day it was simply the counting
of the minutes to “Dick Whittington.” Six days from Boxing Day. Say you
slept from eight to seven--eleven hours; that left thirteen hours; six
thirteen hours was, so Helen said, seventy-eight. Seventy-eight hours,
and Sunday twice as long as the other days, and that made thirteen more;
ninety-one, said Helen, her nose in the air.
The week dragged along, very difficult work for everybody, and even
Hamlet felt the excitement and watched his corner with the Jampot's
sewing machine in it with more quivering intensity than ever. The Day
Before The Day arrived, the evening before The Day, the last supper
before The Day, the last bed before The Day... Suddenly, like a
Jack-in-the-Box, The Day itself.
Then the awful thing happened.
Jeremy awoke to the consciousness that something terrific was about to
occur. He lay for a minute thinking--then he was up, running about the
nursery floor as though he were a young man in Mr. Rossetti's poetry
shouting: “Helen! Mary! Mary! Helen!... It's Dick Whittington! Dick
Whittington!”
On such occasions he lost entirely his natural reserve and caution. He
dressed with immense speed, as though that would hasten the coming of
the evening. He ran into the nursery, carrying the black tie that went
under his sailor-collar.
He held it out to the Jampot, who eyed him with disfavour. She was
leaving them all in a week and was a strange confusion of sentiment and
bad temper, love and hatred, wounded pride and injured dignity.
“Nurse. Please. Fasten it,” he said impatiently.
“And that's not the way to speak, Master Jeremy, and well you know it,”
she said. “'Ave you cleaned your teeth?”
“Yes,” he answered without hesitation. It was not until the word was
spoken that he realised that he had not. He flushed. The Jampot eyed him
with a sudden sharp suspicion. He was then and ever afterwards a very
bad hand at a lie...
He would have taken the word back, he wanted to take it back--but
something held him as though a stronger than he had placed his hand over
his mouth. His face flamed.
“You've truly cleaned them?” she said.
“Yes, truly,” he answered, his eyes on the ground. Never was there a
more obvious liar in all the world.
She said no more; he moved to the fireplace. His joy was gone. There
was a cold clammy sensation about his heart. Slowly, very slowly, the
consciousness stole upon him that he was a liar. He had not thought it a
lie when he had first spoken, now he knew.
Still there was time. Had he turned round and spoken, all might still
have been well. But now obstinacy held him. He was not going to give the
Jampot an opportunity for triumphing over him. After all, he would clean
them so soon as she went to brush Helen's hair. In a moment what he had
said would be true.
But he was miserable. Hamlet came up from the nether regions where
he had spent the night, showing his teeth, wagging his tail, and even
rolling on the cockatoos. Jeremy paid no attention. The weight in his
heart grew heavier and heavier. He watched, from under his eyelids, the
Jampot. In a moment she must go into Helen's room. But she did not. She
stayed for a little arranging the things on the breakfast-table--then
suddenly, without a word, she turned into Jeremy's bedchamber. His heart
began to hammer. There was an awful pause; he heard from miles away
Mary's voice: “Do do that button, Helen, I can't get it!” and Helen's
“Oh, bother!”
Then, like Judgment, the Jampot appeared again. She stood in the
doorway, looking across at him.
“You 'ave not cleaned your teeth, Master Jeremy,” she said. “The glass
isn't touched, nor your toothbrush... You wicked, wicked boy. So it's a
liar you've become, added on to all your other wickedness.”
“I forgot,” he muttered sullenly. “I thought I had.”
She smiled the smile of approaching triumph.
“No, you did not,” she said. “You knew you'd told a lie. It was in your
face. All of a piece--all of a piece.”
The way she said this, like a pirate counting over his captured
treasure, was enraging. Jeremy could feel the wild fury at himself, at
her, at the stupid blunder of the whole business rising to his throat.
“If you think I'm going to let this pass you're making a mighty
mistake,” she continued, “which I wouldn't do not if you paid me all the
gold in the kingdom. I mayn't be good enough to keep my place and look
after such as you, but anyways I'm able to stop your lying for another
week or two. I know my duty even though there's them as thinks I don't.”
She positively snorted, and the excitement of her own vindication and
the just condemnation of Jeremy was such that her hands trembled.
“I don't care what you do,” Jeremy shouted. “You can tell anyone you
like. I don't care what you do. You're a beastly woman.”
She turned upon him, her face purple. “That's enough, Master Jeremy,”
she said, her voice low and trembling. “I'm not here to be called names
by such as you. You'll be sorry for this before you're much older....
You see.”
There was then an awful and sickly pause. Jeremy seemed to himself to
be sinking lower and lower into a damp clammy depth of degradation. What
must this world be that it could change itself so instantly from a place
of gay and happy pleasure into a dim groping room of punishment and
dismay?
His feelings were utterly confused. He supposed that he was terribly
wicked. But he did not feel wicked. He only felt miserable, sick and
defiant. Mary and Helen came in, their eyes open to a crisis, their
bodies tuned sympathetically to the atmosphere of sin and crime that
they discerned around them.
Then Mr. Cole came in as was his daily habit--for a moment before his
breakfast.
“Well, here are you all,” he cried. “Ready for to-night? No breakfast
yet? Why, now...?”
Then perceiving, as all practised fathers instantly must, that the
atmosphere was sinful, he changed his voice to that of the Children's
Sunday Afternoon Service--a voice well known in his family.
“Please, sir,” began the Jampot, “I'm sorry to 'ave to tell you, sir,
that Master Jeremy's not been at all good this morning.”
“Well, Jeremy,” he said, turning to his son, “what is it?”
Jeremy's face, raised to his father's, was hard and set and sullen.
“I've told a lie,” he said; “I said I'd cleaned my teeth when I hadn't.
Nurse went and looked, and then I called her a beastly woman.”
The Jampot's face expressed a grieved and at the same time triumphant
confirmation of this.
“You told a lie?” Mr. Cole's voice was full of a lingering sorrow.
“Yes,” said Jeremy.
“Are you sorry?”
“I'm sorry that I told a lie, but I'm not sorry I called Nurse a beastly
woman.”
“Jeremy!”
“No, I'm not. She is a beastly woman.”
Mr. Cole was always at a loss when anyone defied him, even though it
were only a small boy of eight. He took refuge now in his ecclesiastical
and parental authority.
“I'm very distressed--very distressed indeed. I hope that punishment,
Jeremy, will show you how wrong you have been. I'm afraid you cannot
come with us to the Pantomime to-night.”
At that judgement a quiver for an instant held Jeremy's face, turning
it, for that moment, into something shapeless and old. His heart had
given a wild leap of terror and dismay. But he showed no further sign.
He simply stood there waiting.
Mr. Cole was baffled, as he always was by Jeremy's moods, so he
continued:
“And until you've apologised to Nurse for your rudeness you must remain
by yourself. I shall forbid your sisters to speak to you. Mary and
Helen, you are not to speak to your brother until he has apologised to
Nurse.”
“Yes, Father,” said Helen
“Oh, Father, mayn't he come to-night?” said Mary.
“No, Mary, I'm afraid not.”
A tear rolled down her cheek. “It won't be any fun without Jeremy,” she
said. She wished to make the further sacrifice of saying that she would
not go unless Jeremy did, but some natural caution restrained her.
Mr. Cole, his face heavy with sorrow, departed. At the dumb misery of
Jeremy's face the Jampot's hear--in reality a kind and even sentimental
heart--repented her.
“There, Master Jeremy, you be a good boy all day, and I dare say your
father will take you, after all; and we won't think no more about what
you said to me in the 'eat of the moment.”
But Jeremy answered nothing; nor did he respond to the smell of bacon,
nor the advances of Hamlet, nor the flood of sunlight that poured into
the room from the frosty world outside.
A complete catastrophe. They none of them had wanted to see this thing
with the urgent excitement that he had felt. They had not dreamt of it
for days and nights and nights and days, as he had done. Their whole
future existence did not depend upon their witnessing this, as did his.
During that morning he was a desperate creature, like something caged
and tortured. Do happy middle-aged philosophers assure us that children
are light-hearted and unfeeling animals? Let them realise something of
the agony which Jeremy suffered that day. His whole world had gone.
He was wicked, an outcast; his word could never be trusted again; he
would be pointed at, as the boy who had told a lie... And he would not
meet Dick Whittington.
The eternity of his punishment hung around his neck like an iron chain.
Childhood's tragedies are terrible tragedies, because a child has no
sense of time; a moment's dismay is eternal; a careless word from an
elder is a lasting judgment; an instant's folly is a lifetime's mistake.
The day dragged its weary length along, and he scarcely moved from his
corner by the fire. He did not attempt conversation with anyone. Once or
twice the Jampot tried to penetrate behind that little mask of anger and
dismay.
“Come, now, things aren't so bad as all that. You be a good boy, and
go and tell your father you're sorry...” or “Well, then, Master Jeremy,
there'll be another time, I dare say, you can go to the the-ayter...”
But she found no response. If there was one thing that she hated, it was
sulks. Here they were, sulks of the worst--and so, like many wiser
than herself, she covered up with a word a situation that she did not
understand, and left it at that.
The evening came on; the curtains were drawn. Tea arrived; still Jeremy
sat there, not speaking, not raising his eyes, a condemned creature.
Mary and Helen and Hamlet had had a wretched day. They all sympathised
with him.
The girls went to dress. Seven o'clock struck. They were taken
downstairs by Nurse, who had her evening out. Rose, the housemaid, would
sit with Master Jeremy.
Doors closed, doors opened, voices echoed, carriage-wheels were heard.
Jeremy and Hamlet were left to themselves...
III
The last door had closed, and the sudden sense that everyone had gone
and that he might behave now as he pleased, removed the armour in which
all day he had encased himself.
He raised his head, looked about the deserted nursery, and then, with
the sudden consciousness of that other lighted and busied place where
Whittington was pursuing his adventures, he burst into tears. He sobbed,
his head down upon his arms, and his body squeezed together so that his
knees were close to his nose and his hair in his boots. Hamlet
restored him to himself. Instead of assisting his master's grief, as a
sentimental dog would have done, by sighing or sniffing or howling, he
yawned, stretched himself, and rolled on the carpet. He did not
believe in giving way to feelings, and he was surprised, and perhaps
disappointed, at Jeremy's lack of restraint.
Jeremy felt this, and in a little while sobs came very slowly, and at
last were only little shudders, rather pleasant and healthy. He looked
about him, rubbed his red nose with a hideously dirty handkerchief, and
felt immensely sleepy.
No, he would not cry any more. Rose would shortly appear, and he did
not intend to cry before housemaids. Nevertheless, his desolation was
supreme. He was a liar. He had told lies before, but they had not been
discovered, and so they were scarcely lies... Now, in some strange way,
the publication of his lie had shown him what truly impossible things
lies were. He had witnessed this effect upon the general public; he
had not believed that he was so wicked. He did not even now feel really
wicked, but he saw quite clearly that there was one world for liars and
one for truthful men. He wanted, terribly badly, someone to tell him
that he was still in the right world...
And then, on the other side, the thought that Mary and Helen were at
this very moment witnessing the coloured history of Dick Whittinglon,
the history that he had pursued ceaselessly during all these days and
nights--that picture of them all in the lighted theatre--once more
nearly overcame him. But he pulled himself together.
He sniffed, left his dirty handkerchief, and went slowly and sorrowfully
to drag out his toy village from its corner and see whether anything
could be done with it.... After all, he was going to school in
September. His punishment could not be quite limitless. Hamlet had just
shown his approval of this manly conduct by strolling up and sniffing
at the Noah family, who were, as usual, on their way to church, when the
door suddenly opened, and in came Uncle Samuel.
Jeremy had forgotten his uncle, and now blinked up at him from the
floor, where he was squatting, rather ashamed of his swollen eyes and
red nose.
Uncle Samuel, however, had no time for details; he was apparently in
a hurry. He did not wear his blue painting-smock, but was in a
comparatively clean black suit, and on the back of his head was a
squashy brown hat.
“Come on,” he said, “or we shall be too late.”
Jeremy choked. “Too late?” he repeated.
“You're coming, aren't you--to the Pantomime? They sent me back for
you.”
The room suddenly got on to its legs, like the food and the families
during Alice's feast in the “Looking Glass,” and swung round, lurching
from side to side, and causing the fire to run into the gas and the gas
to fly out of the window.
“I--don't--understand,” Jeremy stammered.
“Well, if you don't understand in half a shake,” said Uncle Samuel,
“you won't see any of the show at all. Go on. Wash your face. There are
streaks of dirt all down it as though you were a painted Indian; stick
on your cap and coat and boots and come along.”
Exactly as one moves in sleep so Jeremy now moved. He had once had a
wonderful dream, in which he had been at a meal that included every
thing that he had most loved--fish-cakes, sausages, ices, strawberry
jam, sponge-cake, chocolates, and scrambled eggs--and he had been
able to eat, and eat, and had never been satisfied, and had never felt
sick--a lovely dream.
He often thought of it. And now in the same bewildering fashion he found
his boots and cap and coat and then, deliberately keeping from him the
thought of the Pantomime lest he should suddenly wake up, he said:
“I'm ready, Uncle.”
Samuel Trefusia looked at him.
“You're a strange kid,” he said; “you take everything so quietly--but,
thank God, I don't understand children.”
“There's Hamlet,” said Jeremy, wondering whether perhaps the dream would
extend to his friend. “I suppose he can't come too.”
“No, he certainly can't,” said Uncle Samuel grimly.
“And there's Rose. She'll wonder where I've gone.”
“I've told her. Don't you worry. What a conscientious infant you are.
Just like your father. Anything else?”
“No,” said Jeremy breathlessly, and nearly murdered himself going
downstairs because he shut his eyes in order to continue the dream
so long as it was possible. Then in the cold night air, grasping his
uncle's hand with a feverish hold, he stammered:
“Is it really true? Are we going--really?”
“Of course we're going. Come on--step out or you'll miss the Giant.”
“But--but--oh!” he drew a deep breath. “Then they don't think me a liar
any more?”
“They--who?”
“Father and Mother and everyone.”
“Don't you think about them. You'd better enjoy yourself.”
“But you said you wouldn't go to the Pantomime--not for anything?”
“Well, I've changed my mind. Don't talk so much. You know I hate you
children chattering. Always got something to say.”
So Jeremy was silent. They raced down Orange Street, Jeremy being
almost carried off his feet. This was exactly like a dream. This rushing
movement and the way that the lamp-posts ran up to you as though they
were going to knock you down, and the way that the stars crackled and
sputtered and trembled overhead. But Uncle Samuel's hand was flesh and
blood, and the heel of Jeremy's right shoe hurt him and he felt the
tickle of his sailor-collar at the back of his neck, just as he did when
he was awake.
Then there they were at the Assembly Rooms door, Jeremy having become
so breathless that Uncle Samuel had to hold him up for a moment or he'd
have fallen.
“Bit too fast for you, was it? Well, you shouldn't be so fat. You eat
too much. Now we're not going to sit with your father and mother--there
isn't room for you there. So don't you go calling out to them or
anything. We're sitting in the back and you'd better be quiet or they'll
turn you out.”
“I'll be quiet,” gasped Jeremy.
Uncle Samuel paused at a lighted hole in the wall and spoke to a large
lady in black silk who was drinking a cup of tea. Jeremy caught the
jingle of money. Then they moved forward, stumbling in the dark up a
number of stone steps, pushing at a heavy black curtain, then suddenly
bathed in a bewildering glow of light and scent and colour.
Jeremy's first impression, as he fell into this new world, was of an
ugly, harsh, but funny voice crying out very loudly indeed: “Oh, my
great aunt! Oh, my great aunt! Oh, my great aunt!” A roar of laughter
rose about him, almost lifting him off his feet, and close to his car a
Glebeshire voice sobbed: “Eh, my dear. Poor worm! Poor worm!”
He was aware then of a strong smell of oranges, of Uncle Samuel pushing
him forward, of stumbling over boots, knees, and large hands that were
clapping in his very nose, of falling into a seat and then clinging to
it as though it was his only hope in this strange puzzling world. The
high funny voice rose again: “Oh, my great aunt! Oh, my great aunt!” And
again it was followed by the rough roar of delighted laughter.
He was aware then that about him on every side gas was sizzling, and
then, as he recovered slowly his breath, his gaze was drawn to the great
blaze of light in the distance, against which figures were dimly moving,
and from the heart of which the strange voice came. He heard a woman's
voice, then several voices together; then suddenly the whole scene
shifted into focus, his eyes were tied to the light; the oranges and
the gas and the smell of clothes and heated bodies slipped back into
distance--he was caught into the world where he had longed to be.
He saw that it was a shop--and he loved shops. His heart beat thickly as
his eyes travelled up and up and up over the rows and rows of shelves;
here were bales of cloth, red and green and blue; carpets from the East,
table-covers, sheets and blankets. Behind the long yellow counters young
men in strange clothes were standing. In the middle of the scene was
a funny old woman, her hat tumbling off her head, her shabby skirt
dragging, large boots, and a red nose. It was from this strange creature
that the deep ugly voice proceeded. She had, this old woman, a number of
bales of cloth under her arms, and she tried to carry them all, but one
slipped, and then another, and then another; she bent to pick them up
and her hat fell off; she turned for her hat and all the bales tumbled
together. Jeremy began to laugh--everyone laughed; the strange voice
came again and again, lamenting, bewailing, she had secured one bale, a
smile of cautious triumph began to spread over her ugly face, then the
bales all fell again, and once more she was on her knees. It was then
that her voice or some movement brought to Jeremy's eyes so vividly
the figure of their old gardener, Jordan, that he turned round to Uncle
Samuel, and suddenly grasping that gentleman's fat thigh, exclaimed
convulsively: “Why, she's a man!”
What a strange topsy-turvy world this was in which women were men, and
shops turned (as with a sudden creaking and darkness and clattering did
this one) into gardens by the sea. Jeremy drew his breath deeply and
held on. His mouth was open and his hair on end.. .
It is impossible to define exactly Jeremy's ultimate impression as
the entertainment proceeded. Perhaps he had no ultimate impression. It
cannot in reality have been a very wonderful Pantomime. Even at Drury
Lane thirty years back there were many things that they did not know,
and it is not likely that a touring company fitted into so inadequate
an old building as our Assembly Rooms would have provided anything very
fine. But Jeremy will never again discover so complete a realisation
for his illusions. Whatever failures in the presentation there were, he
himself made good.
As a finale to the first half of the entertainment there was given
Dick's dream at the Cross-Roads. He lay on the hard ground, his head
upon his bundle, the cat as large as he watching sympathetically beside
him. In the distance were the lights of London, and then, out of the
half dusk, fairies glittering with stars and silver danced up and
down the dusky road whilst all the London bells rang out “Turn again,
Whittington, Lord Mayor of London.”
Had Jeremy been of the age and wisdom of Uncle Samuel he would have
discovered that Dick was a stout lady and probably the mother of a
growing family; that the fairies knew as much about dancing as the
Glebeshire wives sitting on the bench behind; that the London bells
were two hand instruments worked by a youth in shirt sleeves behind the
scenes so energetically that the High Road and the painted London blew
backwards and forwards in sympathy with his movements. Jeremy, happily,
was not so worldly wise as his uncle. This scene created for him then a
tradition of imperishable beauty that would never fade again. The world
after that night would be a more magical place than it had ever been
before. “Turn again, Whittington” continued the education that the Toy
Village and Hamlet had already advanced.
When the gas rose once again, sizzling like crackling bacon, he was
white with excitement. The only remark that he made was: “It's much
better than the pictures outside Martin's, isn't it, Uncle Samuel?” to
which Uncle Samuel, who had been railing for weeks at the deflowering
of Polchester by those abominable posters, could truthfully reply, “Much
better.” Little by little he withdrew himself from the other world and
realised his own. He could see that he and his uncle were certainly not
amongst the Quality. Large ladies, their dresses tucked up over their
knees, sucked oranges. Country farmers with huge knobbly looking sticks
were there, and even some sailors, on their way probably to Drymouth.
He recognised the lady who kept charge of the small Orange Street
post-office, and waved to her with delighted excitement. The atmosphere
was thick with gas and oranges, and I'm afraid that Uncle Samuel must
have suffered a great deal. I can only put it on record that he, the
most selfish of human beings, never breathed a word of complaint.
They were all packed very closely together up there in the gallery,
where seventy years before an orchestra straight from Jane Austen's
novels had played to the dancing of the contemporaries of Elizabeth
Bennett, Emma Woodhouse, and the dear lady of “Persuasion.” Another
thirty-two years and that same gallery would be listening to recruiting
appeals and echoing the drums and fifes of a martial band. The best
times are always the old times. The huge lady in the seat next to Jeremy
almost swallowed him up, so that he peered out from under her thick
arm, and heard every crunch and crackle of the peppermints that she was
enjoying. He grew hotter and hotter, so that at last he seemed, as once
he had read in some warning tract about a greedy boy that Aunt Amy had
given him, “to swim in his own fat.” But he did not mind. Discomfort
only emphasised his happiness. Then, peering forward beneath that stout
black arm, he suddenly perceived, far below in the swimming distance,
the back of his mother, the tops of the heads of Mary and Helen, the
stiff white collar of his father, and the well-known coral necklace of
Aunt Amy. For a moment dismay seized him, the morning's lie which he
had entirely forgotten suddenly jumping up and facing him. But they had
forgiven him.
“Shall I wave to them?” he asked excitedly of Uncle Samuel.
“No, no,” said his uncle very hurriedly. “Nonsense. They wouldn't see
you if you did. Leave them alone.”
He felt immensely superior to them up where he was, and he wouldn't
have changed places with them for anything. He gave a little sigh of
satisfaction. “I could drop an orange on to Aunt Amy's head,” he said.
“Wouldn't she jump!”
“You must keep quiet,” said Uncle Samuel. “You're good enough as you
are.”
“I'd rather be here,” said Jeremy. “It's beautifully hot here and
there's a lovely smell.”
“There is,” said Uncle Samuel.
Then the gas went down, and the curtain went up, and Dick, now in a suit
of red silk with golden buttons, continued his adventures. I have not
space here to describe in detail the further events of his life--how,
receiving a telegram from the King of the Zanzibars about the plague of
rats, he took ship with his cat and Alderman Fitzwarren and his wife,
how they were all swallowed by a whale, cast up by a most lucky chance
on the Zanzibars, nearly cooked by the natives, and rescued by the King
of the Zanzibars' beautiful daughter, killed all the rats, were given a
huge feast, with dance and song, and finally Dick, although tempted by
the dusky Princess, refused a large fortune and returned to Alice of
Eastcheap, the true lady of his heart. There were, of course, many other
things, such as the aspirations and misadventures of Mrs. Fitzwarren,
the deep-voiced lady who had already so greatly amused Jeremy. And then
there was a Transformation Scene, in which roses turned into tulips and
tulips into the Hall of Gold, down whose blazing steps marched stout
representatives of all the nations.
It was in the middle of this last thrilling spectacle, when Jeremy's
heart was in his mouth and he was so deeply excited that he did not know
whether it were he or the lady next to him who was eating peppermints,
that his uncle plucked him by the sleeve and said in his ear: “Come on.
It's close on the end. We must go.”
Jeremy very reluctantly got up, and stumbled out over knees and legs and
exclamations like:
“There's Japan!” “No, it ain't; it's Chiney!” “You's a fine, hearty
young woman!” and so on. He was dragged through the black curtain, down
the stone steps, and into the street.
“But it wasn't the end,” he said.
“It will be in one minute,” said his uncle. “And I want us to get home
first.”
“Why?” said Jeremy.
“Never you mind. Come on; we'll race it.”
They arrived home breathless, and then, once again in the old familiar
hall, Uncle Samuel said:
“Now you nip up to the nursery, and then they'll never know you've been
out at all.”
“Never know?” said Jeremy. “But you said they'd sent for me.”
“Well,” said Uncle Samuel, “that wasn't exactly true. As a matter of
fact, they don't know you were there.”
“Oh!” said Jeremy, the corner of his mouth turning down. “Then I've told
a lie again!”
“Nonsense!” said Uncle Samuel impatiently. “It wasn't you; it was I.”
“And doesn't it matter your telling lies?” asked Jeremy.
The answer to this difficult question was, happily for Uncle Samuel,
interrupted by the arrival of the household, who had careened up Orange
Street in a cab.
When Mr. and Mrs. Cole saw Jeremy standing in the hall, his great coat
still on and his muffler round his neck, there was a fine scene of
wonder and amazement.
Uncle Samuel explained. “It was my fault. I told him you'd forgiven him
and sent for him to come, after all. He's in an awful state now that you
shouldn't forgive him.”
Whatever they thought of Uncle Samuel, this was obviously neither the
time nor the place to speak out. Mrs. Cole looked at her son. His body
defiant, sleepy, excited. His mouth was obstinate, but his eyes appealed
to her on the scene of the common marvellous experience that they had
just enjoyed.
She hugged him.
“And you won't tell a lie again, will you, Jeremy, dear?”
“Oh, no!” And then, hurrying on: “And when the old woman tumbled
down the steps, Mother, wasn't it lovely? And the fairies in Dick
Whittington's sleep, and when the furniture all fell all over the
place--”
He went slowly upstairs to the nursery, the happiest boy in the kingdom.
But through all his happiness there was this puzzle: Uncle Samuel had
told a lie, and no one had thought that it mattered. There were good
lies and bad ones then. Or was it that grown-up people could tell lies
and children mustn't?...
He tumbled into the warm, lighted nursery half asleep. There was Hamlet
watching in front of the Jampot's sewing machine.
He would have things to think about for years and years and years...
There was the Jampot.
“I'm sorry I called you a beastly woman,” he said.
She sniffed.
“Well, I hope you'll be a good boy now,” she said.
“Oh, I'll be good,” he smiled. “But, Nurse, are there some people can
tell lies and others mustn't?”
“All them that tell lies goes to Hell,” said the Jampot. “And now,
Master Jeremy, come along and take your things off. It's past eleven,
and what you'll be like to-morrow--”