"I wrote that are right off, as fast as you could shell corn. S.P."
I suppose it is by way of thanks for my having driven the pigs from
the garden, that I find a great bunch of dahlias adorning my
mantelpiece. A brown earthen pitcher! And in the middle of the
dahlias, a magnificent sunflower! It must be my aunt's doing, and its
very homeliness pleases me, just as I love her homely sincerity of
affection. Who arranges the glasses in the parlor? Etty, I would not
fear to affirm, from the asters and golden-rod, cheek by jole with
petunias and carnations. I wonder if she would not like some of the
clematis I saw twining about a dead tree by the pond. It is more
beautiful in its present state than when it was in flower. Etty loves
wild flowers because she is one herself, and loves to hide here in her
native nook, where no eye (I might except my own) gives her more than
a casual glance.--
_Noon_. "I shall think it quite uncivil of Little Ugly if she does not
volunteer to arrange my share of the booty I am bringing, now that I
have almost broken my neck, and quite my cane, to obtain it." This I
said to myself, as I came into the house by the kitchen entrance, and
proceeded to deposit my trailing treasures on Norah's table, by the
side of a yellow squash.
"Do go with me to Captain Black's," said Etty's voice at the side
door. "The old folks have not seen you since your return."
"I can't!" said Flora with a drawl.
"Yes, do! Be coaxable, for once!"
"It only makes me obstinate to coax. Why not go without me, I beg?"
"I am no novelty. I was in twice only yesterday. Old people like
attention from such as you, because--"
"Because it is unreasonable to expect it."
"The old man is failing."
"I can't do him any good. It is dusty, and my gown is long."
"It would please him to see you. I went to sit with him yesterday, but
Timothy Digfort came in, with the same intent. So I went to church,
having walked in the graveyard till the bell rang."
"Owl that you are! I don't envy you the lively meditations you must
have had. Why don't you go? It's of no use waiting for me."
"What! Will you let me carry both these baskets?"
"There, put the little one on the top of the other. I don't think
three or four peaches and a few flowers can add much to the weight. It
is tiresome enough to do what I don't want to do, when it is really
necessary."
And Little Handsome danced into the parlor, without perceiving me. I
laid a detaining hand on Etty's basket as she put herself in motion,
on which she turned round with a look of unfeigned astonishment.
"May I not be a substitute for Flora?" I inquired.
"I do not require any aid," said Miss Etty shyly. "It is not on that
account I was urging Flora. Please to let me have the basket.--Indeed,
it is quite unnecessary you should trouble yourself," she insisted, as
I persevered in carrying off my load.
"It is the old red house, is it not?" said I, "with the roof sloping
almost to the ground. And shall I say that _you_ sent this? A view of
my strange phiz will not refresh the old people like the sight of
Flora's fresh young face, but I shall go in, and make the agreeable as
well as I can."
"Are you really in earnest?" asked Etty, looking full in my face, with
a smile of wonder that made her radiantly beautiful. She turned away
blushing at my surprised and eager gaze, and, taking up her little
basket, joined me, without a word of answer on my part. It was some
time before I quite recovered from a strange flurry of spirits, which
made my heart bump very much as it does when I hear any unexpected
good news. And then I dashed away upon the subject of old age, and any
thing else that came uppermost, in the hope of drawing the
soul-lighted eyes to mine again, with that transfiguring smile playing
upon the lips.
But I was like an unskilful magician; I had lost the spell; I could
not again discover the spring I had touched. In vain I said to myself,
"I'll make her do it again!" Little Ugly would'nt!
She answered my incoherent sallies in her usual sedate manner, and I
believe it was only in my imagination that her cheek dimpled a little,
with a heightened color, now and then, when I was particularly
eloquent.
Introduced by Miss Etty, I was cordially welcomed. I am always
affected by the sight of an aged woman who at all reminds me of the
grandmother so indulgent to my prankful boyhood. The old man, too,
interested me; he has seen much of the world, in his seafaring life,
and related his adventures in a most unhackneyed style. I'll go and
see them every day. One of the Captain's anecdotes was very good. "An
old salt," he said, "once--once--" Bah, what was it? How very lovely
Etty looked, sitting on a cricket at the old woman's feet, and, with a
half smile on her face, submitting her polished little head to be
stroked by her trembling hands! This I saw out of the corner of my
eye.
Hark! Aunt Tabitha's call to dinner. I am glad of it. I was scribbling
_such_ nonsense, when I have so much to write better worth while.
_12 o'clock_. The night is beautiful, and it is a piece of self-denial
to close the shutter, light my lamp, and write in my journal. Peace of
mind came yesterday, positive happiness to-day, neither of which I can
analyze. I only know I have not been so thoroughly content since the
acquisition of my first jackknife; nor so proud since the day when I
first sported a shining beaver. I have conquered Etty's distrust; she
has actually promised me her friendship. I am rather surprised that I
am so enchanted at this triumph over a prejudice. I am hugely
delighted. Not because it is a triumph, however;--vanity has nothing
to do with it. It is a worthier feeling, one in which humility mingles
with a more cordial self-respect than I have hitherto been conscious
of. I can, and I will, deserve Etty's good opinion. She is an
uncompromising judge, but I will surprise her by going beyond what she
believes me capable of. I never had a sister; I shall adopt Etty, and
when I go home, we will write every week, if not every day.
But how came it all about? By what blessed sunbeams can the ice have
been softened, till now, as I hope, it is broken up for ever? People
under the same roof cannot long mistake each other, it seems, else
Etty and I should never have become friends.
As we left the door of Captain Black's house, and turned into the
field path to avoid the dust, Etty said, "I do not know whether you
care much about it, but you have given pleasure to these good old
people, who have but little variety in their daily routine, being
poor, and infirm, and lonely. It is really a duty to cheer them up, if
we can." I felt that it warmed my heart to have shared that duty with
her, and I said so. I thought she looked doubtful and surprised. It
was a good opening for egotism, and I improved it. I saw that she was
no uninterested listener, but all along rather suspicious and
incredulous, as if what I was claiming for myself was inconsistent
with her previous notions of my disposition. I believe I had made some
little impression Saturday night, but her old distrust had come back
by Sunday morning. Now she was again shaken.
At last, looking up with the air of one who has taken a mighty
resolve, she said, "I presume such a keen observer as yourself must
have noticed that the most reserved people are, on some occasions, the
most frank and direct. I am going to tell you that I feel some apology
due to you, if my first impressions of your character are really
incorrect. I am puzzled what to think."
"I am to suppose that your first impressions were not as favorable as
those of Mrs. Black, whom I heard remark that I was an amiable youth,
with an uncommonly pleasant smile."
"Just the opposite, in fact,--pardon me! To my eye, you had a mocking,
ironical cast of countenance. I felt sure at once you were the sort of
person I never could make a _friend_ of, and acquaintances I leave to
Flora, who wants to know every body. I thought the less I had to do
with you the better."
I felt hurt, and almost insulted. I had not been mistaken, then; she
had disliked me, and perhaps disliked me yet.
"It was not that I stood in fear of your satire," she continued; "I am
indifferent to ridicule or censure in general; no one but a _friend_
has power to wound me."
A flattering emphasis, truly! I felt my temper a little stirred by
Miss Etty's frankness. I was sulkily silent.
"_I_ had no claim to any forbearance, any consideration for
peculiarities of any sort. I am perfectly resigned to being the theme
of your wit in any circle, if you can find aught in _my_ country-bred
ways to amuse you."
Zounds! I must speak.
"My conduct to Flora must have confirmed the charming impression
produced by my unlucky phiz, I imagine. But don't bear malice against
me in _her_ behalf; you must have seen that she was perfectly able to
revenge herself."
Etty's light-hearted laugh rung out, and reminded me of my once
baffled curiosity when it reached my ear from Norah's domain. But
though this unsuppressed mirth of hers revealed the prettiest row of
teeth in the world, and made the whole face decidedly beautiful,
somehow or other it gave me no pleasure, but rather a feeling of
depression. My joining in it was pure pretence.
Presently the brightness faded, and I found myself gazing at the cold
countenance of Little Ugly again.
"No, I did not refer to Flora," said she. "As you say, she can avenge
her own quarrel, and we both were quite as ready to laugh at you, as
you could be to laugh at us, I assure you."
"No doubt of it," said I, with some pique.
"But what I cannot forgive you, cannot think of with any toleration,
is--"
"What?" cried I, astonished. "How have I offended?"
"A man of any right feeling at all could not make game of an aged
woman, his own relative, at the same time that he was receiving her
hearty and affectionate hospitality."
"Neither have I done so," cried I, in a towering passion. "You do me a
great wrong in accusing me of it. I would knock any man down who
should treat my aunt with any disrespect. And if I have sometimes
allowed Flora to do it unrebuked, you well know that she might once
have pulled my hair, or cuffed my ears, and I should have thought it a
becoming thing for a young lady to do. I have played the fool under
your eye, and submit that you should entertain no high opinion of my
wisdom. But you have no right to judge so unfavorably of my heart. If
I have spoken to my aunt with boyish petulance when she vexed me, at
least it was to her face, and regretted and atoned for to her
satisfaction. I am incapable of deceiving her, much less of ridiculing
her either behind her back or before her face. I respond to her love
for me with sincere gratitude, and the sister of my grandmother shall
never want any attention that an own grandson could render while I
live. I shall find it hard to forgive you this accusation, Miss Etty,"
I said, haughtily, and shut my mouth as if I would never speak to her
again.
She made no answer, but looked up into my face with one of those
wondrous smiles. It went as straight to my heart as a pistol bullet
could do, my high indignation proving no defence against it. I was
instantly vanquished, and as I heartily shook the hand she held out to
me, I was just able to refrain from pressing it to my lips, which, now
I think of it, would have been a most absurd thing for me to do. I
wonder what could have made me think of doing it!
_After Dinner_. I hear Flora's musical laugh in the mysterious
boudoir, and a low, congratulatory little murmur of good humor on
Etty's part. I believe she is afraid to laugh loud, lest I should hear
her do it, and rush to the spot. The door is ajar; I'll storm the
castle.
Flora admitted me with a shout of welcome, the instant I tapped. Etty
pushed a rocking-chair toward me, but said nothing. The little room
was almost lined with books. Drawings, paintings, shells, corals, and,
in the sunny window, plants, met my exploring gaze, but the great
basket was nowhere to be seen. It was got up for the nonce, I imagine.
Etty a rogue!
"This is the pleasantest nook in the house. It is a shame you have not
been let in before," said Flora, zealously. "You shall see Etty's
drawings." Neither of us opened the portfolio she seized, however, but
watched Etty's eyes. They were cast down with a diffident blush which
gave me pain; I was indeed an intruder. She gave us the permission we
waited for, however. There were many good copies of lessons: those I
did not dwell upon. But the sketches, spirited though imperfect, I
studied as if they had been those of an Allston. Etty was evidently in
a fidget at this preference of the smallest line of original talent
over the corrected performances which are like those of every body
else. I drew out a full-length figure done in black chalk on brown
paper. It chained Flora's wondering attention as quite new. It was a
young man with his chair tipped back; his feet rested on a table, with
a slipper perched on each toe. His hands were clasped upon the back of
his head. The face--really, I was angry at the diabolical expression
given it by eyes looking askance, and lips pressed into an arch by a
contemptuous smile. It was a corner of this very brown sheet that I
saw under her arm, when she vanished from the kitchen as I entered;
the vociferous mirth which attracted me was at my expense. Before
Flora could recognize my portrait, Little Ugly pounced upon it; it
fell in a crumpled lump into the bright little wood fire, and ceased
to exist.
"I had totally forgotten it," said she, with a blush which avenged my
wounded self-love. Ironical pleasure at having been the subject of her
pencil I could not indulge myself in expressing, as I did not care to
enlighten Little Handsome. Any lurking pique was banished when Etty
showed me, with a smile, the twilight view by the pond.
"Do you draw?" she asked; and Flora cried, "He makes caricatures of
his friends with pen and ink; let him deny it if he can!"