PROCEEDINGS OF THE GRAND CENTRAL COMMITTEE--VINDICATION OF THE
SEVERITY PRACTICED AGAINST GENERAL HARRISON--TACTICS OF THE NEW
LIGHTS--ABOLITIONISM--SELLING WHITE MEN FOR DEBT--HARRISON
A COWARD--CONSIDERATIONS WHICH LED TO THE NAMING OF THE
OPPOSITION BRITISH WHIGS--STRATAGEM AGAINST HARRISON, AND
THE CLAMOR AGAINST HIM FOR NOT ANSWERING--HOPE OF THE NEW
LIGHTS CONFIRMED BY THE CONNECTICUT, RHODE ISLAND, AND VIRGINIA
ELECTIONS--BALTIMORE CONVENTION A FAILURE--IMPORTANT LETTER
FROM MR. FLAM--AMOS KENDALL'S PURPOSE TO RESIGN--EXCITEMENT
OF COMPOSITION PRESCRIBED BY HIS PHYSICIAN--CENTRAL COMMITTEE
SANCTION THE COMPILATION OF THESE ANNALS.
The Grand Central Committee having been thus happily organized, devoted
itself with exemplary diligence to the important concerns of the
Presidential election, which, from this time forth, became the
engrossing subject of all men's thoughts. A volume would not suffice to
develop the multifarious labors of the committee. I could not in less
space recount the resolutions, with long argumentative preambles,
linking by means of Whereases, like rings, whole newspaper loads of
facts, invented for the purpose;--the addresses, the speeches copied
from the Globe, and extracts from private letters--to say nothing of the
paragraphs, the sole offspring of editorial brains, and all the other
machinery employed by the committee to defame, traduce, and vilify
General Harrison, for the unpardonable sin of being thought by the Whigs
a fit man to preside over this vast Republic. It was our duty to render,
if possible, his very name offensive in the nostrils of the people. In
this endeavor it may easily be imagined that we found abundance to do in
rummaging up old scraps of history, the falsification of public records,
the oblique interpretation of equivocal laws, and in practicing all the
other customary arts of warfare known to the New-Light tactics.
Admirable is that wisdom of the New Democracy which has provided such an
ordeal of punishment for the man who, in opposition to their wishes,
dares to make claim to the favor of the people. What better chastisement
can be inflicted upon such rash aspirant, than this preliminary gauntlet
which it is ordained for him to run before he can be made sensible of
the insolence of his pretensions? Thrice tormented is it his lot to be,
in the fiery furnace of hatred, malice, and all uncharitableness, before
he shall see the end of his vain probation. As certain tribes of Indians
have a custom of torturing, to the verge of stoutest human endurance,
the candidate for the honor of being accounted a Brave; so in imitation
of this commendable usage did we determine, in no less degree, to
torture the man whom the hardihood of the Whigs had placed before the
nation for the like empty and unavailing honor.
It did truly seem to the New Lights no small insolence of those men who
call themselves Whigs, to propose any individual for the Presidency,
while the people were already favored with a chief whose whole life was
lustrous with the radiance of the Quodlibetarian Democracy. The very
idea of a New Light presupposes an innate, inherent, and intuitive
fitness to fill any station of any kind or degree whatever; and here was
one distinguished as the very fountain of New-Light principles already
at the head of the nation, dispensing the favors and wielding the power
of his great office to the supreme content of all Quodlibetarians--the
only persons in this Republic whose interests deserve to be held of any
account in the concerns of government. Nothing but the rankest faction
could originate an opposition to his beneficent administration. Acting
upon this conviction, the Central Committee certainly did not spare
General Harrison.
It was, however, soon perceived that the General was a little stronger
with the people than we supposed him to be; and sundry were the changes
to which we were consequently obliged to resort in our mode of attack.
The _abolitionism_ we never lost sight of: the _selling of white men
into slavery for debt_ was also a steady topic; and some of the more
ingenious of the committee fell upon the device of proving the old
General _a coward_: but our great effort was to convert him and all his
friends into old Blue-Light _Federalists_. This was always considered
our master-stroke; and I may appeal to all the New-Light papers of this
day for evidence, that in that department of our labors we plied our
task with an industry that has never been surpassed. The Jersey
election, also, we turned to great account in Congress, and certainly
blew our trumpet on that question both loud and long. It was a noble
illustration of our zeal for State Rights, which all the world knows is
one of the favorite articles in our present faith. With an eye to this
same question of State Rights, we succeeded in getting up a tolerable
good commotion in Congress on the subject of State debts; holding it our
duty, as friends of the sovereignty of the States, to do all in our
power to break down their credit, and to warn the world against placing
any confidence in their pledges--although, upon this subject, I am bound
to confess that our success has not answered our expectations.
There was one movement upon which our committee placed great reliance.
Mr. Van Buren, and indeed the whole New-Light Democracy, had so often
changed their course upon public measures, as I have already shown, that
the nation had been by degrees brought into a belief that every public
man was, of necessity, and from the very nature of his organization,
bound to certify, at least once a year, the state of his principles and
the character of his opinions on all questions of policy whatever. Now
Mr. Van Buren, in 1836, came to the Presidency upon a very summary, and
to himself, very comfortable profession of faith. All that he professed
at that time was to follow in the footsteps--which said footsteps had
scope and variation enough to allow him to take any path he thought
proper. General Harrison, in that contest of 1836, did not enjoy this
advantage, but was compelled to be somewhat specific in the indication
of the grounds upon which his election claimed to be based. He had,
consequently, not only been very full in this exposition, but had
likewise referred his interrogators to a vast amount of written and
printed opinions, which on divers occasions, in the course of his public
career, he had found reason to express.
In the present canvass it was determined by our committee, and in fact
by our New-Light friends in general, that he should reiterate afresh
everything he had ever said or written on public matters, and that we
should, by no means, be content with mere references to past
declarations. Indeed, it seemed to our New-Light Democracy that,
inasmuch as _our_ President kept no opinions more than three years old,
at the outside, it was impossible that General Harrison could be so
antiquated as to stick to his for a longer term. Confiding in this
impression, plans were laid by the New Lights to write letters to the
General in the guise of friends, and in case he should refer the
querists to his former expositions, without full and ample repetition of
all he had said before, to bring a whirlwind of indignant reproof about
his ears as a man who was afraid to trust the public with his
sentiments. This stratagem succeeded beyond the most sanguine
expectation of the New Lights. The General was caught in the trap; and
such a clamor as was raised has never before been known in any part of
the world.
"He won't answer questions!" exclaimed the Globe. "Gracious Heaven! what
an insult to the intelligence of a nation of vigilant, truth-seeking,
anxiously-inquiring freemen! A silent candidate! What contumely to the
people! What contempt of the fundamental principles of free government!"
"Gracious Heaven! what contempt of the people!" re-echoed the Quodlibet
Whole Team.
"Gracious Heaven! what contumely!" shouted the Bickerbray Scrutinizer.
"Gracious Heaven!" etc. etc., ejaculated two thousand patriotic,
disciplined, footstep-following papers of all dimensions, from six by
twelve to three feet square, from one end of the Union to the other.
Never was there such a Gracious Heavening carried on in this country!
In the midst of all this successively came on the Connecticut, Rhode
Island, and Virginia elections. The results everybody knows. Although
ostensibly and to outward appearance against us, we saw in them what our
infatuated opponents could not see, the certain token of our success. It
was evident to us, from the returns of these elections, that a great
reaction must occur; and Mr. Doubleday now very sagely remarked, "that
there was no longer room to doubt that we should beat the Whigs in the
fall." But the Whigs, instead of desponding at these events, began to
take heart, and straightway set about getting up a Convention in
Baltimore. Well, that convention was held on the Fourth of May. I was
present, and I pronounce it to have been a _thorough failure_. The Whigs
have represented that at least twenty thousand persons were assembled on
that occasion. According to the accurate system of computation adopted
by the New Lights, and which is infallible in regard to the numbers
attending Whig meetings, the whole assemblage, including boys and
blacks, did not quite reach two thousand, and of those a large number
were New Lights.
Still it is due to truth that I should say there were some timid men in
our committee who were not altogether satisfied with the appearances of
the day. We found it difficult to make them comprehend how the late
elections had operated in our favor. Yet it is a fact that we never were
thoroughly convinced of the _certainty_ of our success until we saw the
returns in these elections. Connecticut and Rhode Island we had before
considered doubtful: we now had no doubt. And as to Virginia, we
became at once fully persuaded that our success there was actually
"brilliant:"--such is the beautiful operation of the New-Light
philosophy in bringing consolation to its votaries under apparent
disaster, and suggesting encouragement where others would despond.
Yet it must not be concealed that these incidents produced some slight
sensation in our committee. Mr. Flam wrote from Washington a letter of
grave reflection. "Although," said he, "our success in Virginia has
transcended our expectations, yet we are not quite certain that our
_abolition_ battery has been altogether _very effective_. Indeed, it is
questioned here whether it would not be as well to abandon it, and even
point the guns in the opposite direction. _Martin has room enough yet to
turn_--and, as it is rather manifest that Virginia considers our charge
of abolitionism against Harrison a _humbug_, and as the whole South will
probably fall into the same opinion, (in which, in my judgment, they
would not be very far wrong,) the propriety of taking the opposite
ground is well worthy of consideration. _Van's affinities are with the
North_; so that if it can be made clearly to appear to be his interest
to take this backward leap, his _Southern principles_ are not yet more
than cobwebs in his way. _We must think of this._ In the mean time, it
is the desire of the President and his managing friends here that you
not only continue to brand the opposition as _Federalists_, but call
them BRITISH WHIGS. This is rendered necessary by the fact that the
opposition have just discovered that Van Buren voted against Madison and
the War, and supported Clinton and the Peace party. By anticipating the
ground and charging the Whigs as under British influence, we shall take
off the edge of this assault, and avoid the effect of another
reminiscence against the President--I mean his instructions to M'Lane,
on the West India Question, which the Whigs impute to him as a truckling
to Great Britain. Besides this, you know, Martin has been very assiduous
of late in courting the good opinion of Victoria--so, by all means,
drive at THE BRITISH WHIGS! Keep your eye upon Amos Kendall, who has
consented to act as fugleman. His health is so much shattered by the
diseases of the Post-office, that he is compelled to retire; and as his
physician prescribes 'the excitement of composition' as his only cure,
he is about to devote himself to the Extra Globe, in which sheet he will
be able to indulge his imagination in the creation of those chaste and
prurient fancies for which he has been remarkable from a child. The pure
and simple inventions of that paper are ass's milk to his wasted
constitution."
Thus admonished, our Central Committee proceeded in their labors with
the most spirited activity; and it was not long before the whole Union
was ringing with our charge against the British Whigs.
It was at this juncture that I suggested to the committee the
propriety of making this compilation of the Annals of Quodlibet. I
explained to them how important it was that the world should be made
acquainted with the history and character of that New-Light philosophy
which had worked such wonders in our Borough. It was very obvious that
even our friends were not fully aware of the height and the depth of
this sublime theory, nor of its extreme efficacy in the administration
of the government. It had taken the world by surprise, and had grown up,
in a few years, into a system which no naturalist had yet defined; and
had assumed an importance in the affairs of this country which few
persons were able fully to appreciate. Impressed with this conviction, I
disclosed to the committee the purpose which, for some time past, I had
secretly cherished, of collating from my manuscripts all such
particulars in the history of Quodlibet as might serve to elucidate this
subject. The committee knew that my materials were ample; and they had
more than once been pleased to express their admiration of those poor
talents which I had oftentimes exhibited in the effusions of my humble
pen. The subject was now brought up to the notice of the committee on
the motion of my friend, Mr. Younghusband, in a resolution too laudatory
for my modesty to insert in this book. Readily and cheerfully did the
committee condescend to assign this task to my endeavors;--confiding the
matter and the manner thereof to my sole discretion, with the single
injunction that I should abstain from all such incidents of mere
personal or private concernment, as might by captious or invidious
critics be designated as savoring of romance. Faithfully, as in my
judgment, I could, have I obeyed this injunction; and with the frankness
and veracity of one who chronicles for posterity rather than the present
times, have I set forth all such matters of fact and comments of opinion
as shall guide my readers to a true knowledge of the doctrine of the
New-Light Quodlibetarian philosophy.