THE SECOND ERA--POPULATION OF QUODLIBET--INCREASE UNPARALLELED
IN ANCIENT CITIES; EQUALED ONLY BY MILWAUKEE, ETC.--SUCCESS
OF THE BANK--ATTACK UPON IT IN CONGRESS--THE HON. MIDDLETON
FLAM'S TRIUMPHANT VINDICATION--SKETCH OF HIS CELEBRATED
SPEECH BEFORE THE NEW LIGHTS--INIMITABLE IRONY ON THE
DIVORCE OF GOVERNMENT AND BANK--MERITED COMPLIMENT TO THE
HEAD OF THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY--THAT DISTINGUISHED
GENTLEMAN'S OPINIONS.
It is no part of my design in the compilation of this little history to
preserve the form of a regular, chronological narrative of the course of
events in Quodlibet; for although the material for such a continuous
recital abounds in the memoranda which I have preserved, yet it seems
better to suit the purpose of the respectable committee who have invoked
me to this labor, that I should rather make excerpts from the mass of my
papers, in such wise as to bring before my reader the condition of the
Borough at several epochs, with an occasional reference to such
incidents as may serve to explain the opinions of our people and
illustrate the course of that beautiful system of politics which the
world--I mean that world of which our Borough is the center--has
consented to honor with the epithet of Quodlibetarian; and in which
designation, in my poor judgment, is comprehended the essence of the
true theory by which this nation has advanced to its present
unparalleled state of prosperity and grandeur.
Following this suggestion, I propose now to lead my reader to that epoch
in the annals of the Borough which dates in the fourth year after the
Removal, or, in the vernacular computation, the year of 1836-7. The
population of Quodlibet had now reached to the astonishing amount of
fifteen hundred and eighty odd souls--the increase being altogether
without an example in the history of civilization, excepting, perhaps,
in that of Milwaukee, Navarino, and some other of those seemingly
incredible and fabulous creations of art which are said to have sprung
up under the beneficent auspices of the Quodlibetarian theory, as the
same has been practiced in this government for some few years past.
Quodlibet, I repeat, had reached in population upwards of fifteen
hundred and eighty inhabitants, as was ascertained by a diligent
enumeration made under the direction of our New-Light Club, with a view
to the election of a constable held this year in the Borough;--and when
we reflect that at the date of the Removal, the whole settlement fell
short of two hundred persons all told, it will be perceived that in
three years our increase has exceeded seven hundred per cent.! Verily,
neither London, Athens, nor Palmyra, Karnac, Luxor, nor even Milwaukee
itself, I doubt, has ever manifested so prolific an augmentation.
Nicodemus Handy's row of stores on the Basin was the first improvement,
as I have already informed my reader; then Copperplate Ridge was studded
with buildings; at the same time Flam Street was enriched with the bank
and seven brick buildings; then came the Female Lyceum, with the Town
Hall in the second story of the same building, Peter Ounce's Boatmen's
Hotel on the other side of the Basin, the Hay Scales, Zachary
Younghusband's (the tinplate worker) shop, and Dr. Thomas G. Winkleman's
Druggist Store and Soda Water Pavilion. These, as well as I can
recollect, were the principal establishments erected in Quodlibet in the
three years I have referred to. There were a number of private houses
built in this period, and a whole settlement of free negroes made below
the Basin, on the line of the canal. I ought to mention, too, that
Nicodemus Handy this year dug out the foundations, and, I believe, built
the cellar walls, of a second row of stores and of a new hotel designed
on a very large scale, with extensive baths to be attached to it. These
buildings, it pains me to say, in advance, never got higher than the
first story, as I shall be obliged to relate hereafter.
The bank did a sweeping business all this time; and nothing can be
conceived more beautiful than the theory upon which it was conducted. It
has run out of my memory how many new bales of pink silk paper were
turned off by it, but the amount would scarcely be believed if I were to
set it down; and the accommodation principle was carried out to an
extent that must have been truly gratifying to the Secretary. Still,
even this most exemplary institution did not escape the malevolence of
the Whigs. That ever-complaining party, as the Hon. Middleton Flam
assured us by letter, were making a great ado in Congress about all the
banks, but particularly about ours--alleging, in their usual factious
manner, that the government would lose money by us, as well as by the
others.
Deeming this charge as one of peculiar atrocity, we at once determined
to take it up in our New-Light Club, and stamp upon it the most
conclusive refutation. We accordingly fixed an evening for the
discussion, during Christmas week, when we knew that our member would be
at home to visit his family; and he was of course invited to attend and
give his views upon this very interesting question. The meeting was in
the Town Hall up stairs above the Female Lyceum. All Quodlibet was
present. I shall be long thankful to Providence for the dignified
station which it fell to my lot to fill on that memorable occasion. By a
most unexpected but most felicitous chance, I was honored that night
with a call to the chair; the worthy Mr. Snuffers, our President, not
being able to attend, in consequence of the interesting condition of
Mrs. Snuffers. As the subject of discussion was one of thrilling
interest, the most intense anxiety prevailed to hear the speech of our
eloquent representative. He came fully prepared, bringing with him a
load of documents. Our Vice, Mr. Doubleday, who is a solid thinking,
shrewd person, of that maturity of judgment which it is impossible to
impose upon, and himself, by-the-by, a first-rate debater, told me,
after we broke up, that Mr. Flam's discourse that evening on the banking
system at large and on the _safety_ of the banks in particular, was one
of the closest pieces of reasoning he had ever listened to in his life.
I regret that I have preserved so imperfect an outline of this speech,
but such as it is I offer it to my reader.
The orator commenced very appropriately by remarking how impossible it
was, in the nature of things, to satisfy the Whigs on any point. He said
there were three parties in Congress: First, the Whigs--who still
croaked about a National Bank--and his description of their croaking was
to the last degree humorous; it produced peals of laughter. Second, the
thorough-going Quodlibetarian Whole Hogs, who were steadfast and
immovable for the State Banks; and a third party, small in numbers,
"attenuated"--as he remarked with irresistibly comic effect--"and gaunt;
feeble, shrill, and like crickets who might scarcely be seen in
daytime;" and who, when the bill to Regulate the Deposits was up,
presented what, in his opinion, was the most alarming, if it had not
been the most ridiculous scheme, in relation to the public money, that
had ever been hatched in the hotbed of faction. These men, he said
called themselves Conservatives: "And what think you, Mr. President," he
asked, "was _their_ project? It was, sir, to separate the Government
from the Banks." Here Mr. Flam was interrupted by a loud laugh. "A Mr.
Gordon," he said, "was at the head of this little troop. He proposed a
bill, two sessions ago, to place the revenue and public moneys in the
hands of Receivers--the moneys were to be paid to these Receivers in
GOLD and SILVER! and no bank was to be intrusted with a dollar!! And
this," exclaimed Mr. Flam, with a tone of inimitable irony, "was to be
done for the SAFETY of the public Treasure! Your money not safe in the
hands of the banks, but _perfectly secure_ in the keeping of these
honest Receivers, who were to be furnished with vaults and iron chests
to lock it up in!!! O rare Conservatives!--O wise Conservatives!--O
honest Conservatives!"
We all thought the ceiling of the Town Hall would have toppled down on
our heads from the laughter occasioned by this sally. In this admirable
strain he continued for some minutes. At length, taking himself up, and
falling into a tone of grave expostulation, he pulled out a copy of The
Globe from his pocket, and proceeded--
"Admirably, sir, has this paper which I hold in my hand descanted on
this most wicked project. These well-timed remarks, I beg leave to read.
Hear the incomparable Blair. '_Had such a suggestion_,' says he, '_come
from General Jackson, it would have been rung through the Old Dominion
as conclusive proof of all the aspirations which may have been charged
to the Hero of New Orleans. See here, they would say, he wishes to put
the public money directly into the palms of his friends and partisans,
instead of keeping it on deposit in banks, whence it cannot be drawn,
for other than public purposes, without certain detection. In such a
case, we should feel that the people had just cause for alarm, and ought
to give their most watchful attention to such an effort to enlarge
Executive power, and put in its hands the means of corruption_.' Most
admirably again," continued Mr. Flam, "has this same incomparable Blair
said, '_The scheme is disorganizing and revolutionary, subversive of the
fundamental principles of our government, and of its practice from 1780
down to this day_.' Will you, freemen of Quodlibet, gentlemen of The New
Light," exclaimed Mr. Flam, "if faction should go so far as to put this
odious, disorganizing, and revolutionary yoke upon the country, will
you, freemen of Quodlibet, submit to it?"
"No!" shouted the ready response of sixty-four voices.
"Gentlemen, listen to the words of the Old Hero," continued Mr. Flam,
with a gratulatory smile playing on his face, presenting at the same
time a printed document which he carefully unfolded--"listen to that
'old man eloquent' whose mouth is never opened but to breathe the
precepts of wisdom and patriotism:--I read you from his last message. In
remarking upon this absurd project, the President, in this able paper,
holds the following language: '_To retain the Public Revenue in the
Treasury unemployed in any way, is impracticable. It is considered
against the genius of our free institutions to lock up in vaults the
treasure of the nation. Such a treasure would doubtless be employed at
some time, as it has in other countries, when opportunity tempted
ambition._' Now are you willing, men of Quodlibet," again ejaculated our
eloquent representative, as he slapped the document upon the table, "are
you willing, or can you consent to tolerate a proposition which is
against the genius----"
"No!" thundered forth sixty-four New Lights again, before our orator had
finished the sentence.
"Order, order, freemen of Quodlibet," I called out, as it was my duty to
do, at this interruption. "Hear our distinguished representative to an
end, before you respond."
There was a decorous silence.
"A proposition," continued Mr. Flam, "which is against the genius of our
free institutions, and which would be a lure to tempt ambition to its
most unholy purposes?"
The club looked at me for a sign, and I, quickly giving a nod of my
head, a loud "No" ran over the whole room, like a _feu de joie_ fired
off at a militia training.
"Now, gentlemen," said Mr. Flam, "one word as to the _safety_ of these
deposits. Whigs--oh that some of you were present, to mark how a plain
tale shall put you down! I have here the Secretary's own report," he
added, as he selected one from the bundle of documents which lay before
him. "There is no need for many words here--here is Mr. Secretary
himself, than whom a more pellucid, diaphanous, transparent Secretary of
the Treasury--a mind of rock-crystal, a head of sunbeams, a soul, sir,
of pure fountain water, that gurgles and gurgles, perpetually welling
forth its unadulterated intelligence in a purling stream, of which it
may be said, in the beautiful language of the poet of antiquity
'Rusticus expectat dum defluat amnis, at ille
Labitur et labetur in omne volubilis aevum'"----
Here I gave a nod, by way of signal to the club, to applaud this
splendid outbreak of Ciceronian eloquence; whereat the New Lights
vociferated "Bravo--three times three!" and made the house ring with
their approbation--"I say, sir, I have the Secretary himself here
present."
Several of the members, not being accustomed to this parliamentary
language, took the orator literally, and rose to welcome the
distinguished person referred to; but a word from me explained matters,
and brought the club again to order.
"The Secretary, gentlemen New Lights," said Mr. Flam, adroitly availing
himself of the occasion to throw off a coruscation of wit--"the
Secretary lives _in his reports_--profound, statesmanlike, recondite and
deep, his report is in my hand--_it is himself!_ I will read you what he
says upon this matter of the safety of the banks."
Here Mr. Flam read as follows, from a report dated December 12, 1834:--
"It is gratifying to reflect, however, that the credit given by the
government, whether to bank paper or bank agents, has been
accompanied by SMALLER LOSSES in the experience under the system of
State banks in this country, at their worst periods, and under
their severest calamities, than any other kind of credit
the government has ever given in relation to its pecuniary
transactions." "Again," he continued, turning to another page, "it
is a singular fact, in praise of this description of public
debtors--the selected banks--that there is not now due, on deposit,
in the whole of them, which have ever stopped payment, from the
establishment of the constitution to the present moment, a sum much
beyond what is now due to the United States from one mercantile
firm, that stopped payment in 1825 or 1826, and of whom ample
security was required, and supposed to be taken under the
responsibility of an oath. If we include the whole present dues to
the government from discredited banks at all times, and of all
kinds, whether as depositories or not, and embrace even counterfeit
bills, and every other species of unavailable funds in the
treasury, they will not exceed what is due from two such firms. Of
almost one hundred banks, not depositories, which, during all our
wars and commercial embarrassments, have heretofore failed, in any
part of the Union, in debt to the government, on their bills or
otherwise, it will be seen by the above table (to which Mr. Flam
referred as annexed to the report) that the whole of them, except
seventeen, have adjusted everything which they owed, and that the
balance due from them, without interest, is less than $32,000."
"There, gentlemen New Lights of Quodlibet," said Mr. Flam, when he had
finished reading these extracts, "what can be added beyond this
certificate from the Secretary, of the value of our State banks? Even
the lips of Whiggism are sealed before it; and nothing is left but the
confession that, in all their senseless clamor against our favorite and
long-tried State bank system, the course of its enemies has been but the
ebullition of disappointed ambition and peevish discontent. Are you
willing, I ask, to see this glorious system prostrated to the earth?"
"No!" was again the general cry.
"Are you content to see your cherished banks stripped of the confidence
of the government?"
"No--never, never!" shouted the New Lights to a man.
"Then, gentlemen Quodlibetarians, radii of the New Lights, you have
justified all my hopes. Your applause rewards all my toils--your support
and confidence enlist all my gratitude. With emotions of heart-felt
satisfaction, I bid you each good night!"
With these words, this remarkable man gathered up his documents, and,
with a countenance full of smiles, retired from the midst of this circle
of his devoted--yes, I may say, his idolizing friends.