[_Manet +Warehouse+._] _Enter +Seathrift+, +Mistress
Seathrift+, +Mistress Holland+, +Mistress
Scruple+._
+Mis. Sea.+ Much joy to you, sir; you have made quick despatch.
I like a man that can love, woo, and wed,
All in an hour. My husband was so long
A-getting me; so many friends' consents
Were to be ask'd, that when we came to church,
'Twas not a marriage, but our times were out,
And we were there made free of one another.
+Mis. Hol.+ I look'd to find you abed and a young sheriff
Begot by this. My husband, when I came
From church, by this time had his caudle: I
Had not a garter left, nor he a point.
+Mis. Scr.+ Surely, all that my husband did the first
Night we were married, was to call for one
Of his wrought caps more to allay his rheum.
+Mis. Hol.+ We hear y' have match'd a courtier, sir: a gallant:
One that can spring fire in your blood, and dart
Fresh flames into you.
+Mis. Sea.+ Sir, you are not merry:
Methinks you do not look as you were married.
+Mis. Hol.+ You rather look as you had lost your love.
+Mis. Scr.+ Or else, as if your spouse, sir, had rebuk'd you.
+Sea.+ How is it, sir? You see I have brought along
My fiddlers with me; my wife and Mistress Holland
Are good wind-instruments. 'Tis enough for me
To put on sadness.
+Ware.+ You, sir, have no cause.
+Sea.+ Not I! Ask Mistress Scruple. I have lost
My daughter, sir: she's stol'n. Then, sir, I have
A spendthrift to my son.
+Ware.+ These are felicities
Compar'd to me. You have not match'd a whore, sir,
Nor lost two ships at sea.
+Sea.+ Nor you, I hope?
+Ware.+ Truth is, you are my friends; I am abus'd,
Grossly fetch'd over. I have match'd a stew,
The notedst woman o' th' town.
+Mis. Sea.+ Indeed, I heard
She was a chambermaid.
+Mis. Hol.+ And they by their place
Do wait upon the lady, but belong
Unto the lord.
+Sea.+ But is this true?
+Ware.+ Here was
My nephew just now, and one Roseclap, who tell me
She has three children living; one dapple-grey,
Half Moor, half English: knows as many men
As she that sinned by th' calendar, and divided
The nights o' th' year with several men.
+Sea.+ Bless me, goodness!
+Ware.+ Then, like a man condemned to all misfortunes,
I have estated her in all I have.
+Sea.+ How!
+Ware.+ Under hand and seal, sir, irrecoverably.