"Habitual evils change not on a sudden,
But many days must pass, and many sorrows;
Conscious remorse, and anguish must be felt,
To curb desire, to break the stubborn will,
And work a second nature in the soul,
Ere virtue can resume the place she lost." ROWE.
_Wednesday, August 23d._
The Doctor received a hasty note from Lucy, requesting him to call this
morning at his earliest convenience. He did so, and found his patient
agitated and trembling, who immediately requested to be left alone with
Frank.
"Dr. Lenox," said he, "I have sent for you to receive a confession from
me, which I little thought would ever pass my lips." He tried to wipe
the moisture which was gathering on his face, but his hand shook so much
that he was unable. Frank took a seat near him and performed that
office, when he continued, "I have been a great sinner, Doctor, as you
well know; but there is one crime lying upon my conscience, which I
would gladly give all I am possessed of to be free from. Oh, dear!" He
gasped convulsively. "You don't know, you have never felt the agony of
remorse!"
Frank tried to soothe his patient, and pointed him to the Saviour as one
ready to bear all our sins. "I've tried to think so Doctor; sometimes
the devil tempts me to believe that there can be no forgiveness of sins
like mine. In addition to all my drunkenness and profanity, all my
abuse of widows and orphans, and all my grinding the face of the poor, I
have been--Oh!--_Oh, dear!_--I am a MURDERER!"
Frank started involuntarily. But Squire Lee cried aloud, while the
Doctor bathed his temples, and endeavored to quiet him, but reluctantly
allowed him to proceed. Making a great effort to control himself, the
distressed invalid proceeded to say, that while abroad many years ago,
he had met a lady who interested him more than any one he had ever seen.
Though his wife was still living at home, he had fallen in love with
her, and had made the most disgraceful proposals to her, which she
repelled with scorn. "She told me," he exclaimed, "her husband was in
India, and that it was well for me that such were the case, for he would
revenge to the death such an insult to his wife. Her indignation only
added to her beauty; and I was almost beside myself that I could not
accomplish my purpose. But I determined to have my revenge. I wrote
anonymously to her husband, at first only hinting at her unfaithfulness
to him, but subsequently stating the facts more fully. There was a
gentleman who spent much of his time in her society and in the education
of her child. It was this man to whom I referred in my letter to her
husband, though I had abundant reason to know that her character was
above suspicion. Sometime later, when my wicked passion had had time to
cool, I again passed through the place, and to my horror learned that my
letters had been the means of recalling her husband from abroad, and of
the death of--of both--of them! Yes, Colonel Shirley killed his friend,
and his wife died of a broken heart, leaving her husband to suppose her
the guilty woman whom I had falsely represented."
Squire Lee here groaned heavily and was overcome by his emotions.
"Doctor," said the agonized man when he revived, "a word more; you
cannot realize what a relief this will be here," laying his hand upon
his breast, Frank bowed assent. The sick man then earnestly begged the
Doctor to take the name of Colonel Shirley, and to use every means in
his power to ascertain whether that gentleman were living; and if he
should ever see or hear of him, to communicate to him the fact of his
wife's innocence, and of the fiendish revenge which prompted the writer
of those letters.
_Thursday, September 7th._
The Doctor was hastily summoned yesterday to Squire Lee, who has had
another shock of paralysis. But it proved to be slight compared with the
first. It was occasioned by his receipt of a bank notice from the city
of New York, of a note left there for collection, and signed by his son
Joseph as agent for his father, and requesting the immediate payment
thereof. The bank notified the father instead of the son, who had
falsely assumed to act as his agent, and who was reported to have left
the country.
At first the Squire was very angry, and said to Lucy, "I must pay this
note, but it is the last he shall ever have from my estate."
_Monday, October 2d._
I think Squire Lee supposes himself to be near his end. A few weeks
since, he requested his daughter to leave him alone with Allen, when he
asked the young man, "Do you still love Lucy?"
"I have never ceased to love her," was the reply.
"Then," said the old gentleman, in a very affecting manner, "my daughter
is a good girl, and I should like to see her happily married before I
die." He also added, "if you marry her, you will not have a portionless
bride."
_Monday, October 9th._
Emily has just consented to go to the city to make some purchases for
the intended bride, as Lucy cannot think of leaving her father, who is
very feeble. He told her in the presence of Allen, that he did not wish
their marriage to be delayed.
The ardent lover persuaded Lucy to name an early day; and the nineteenth
of this month is decided upon. It will be strictly a private wedding.
The service is to be performed in the chamber of the invalid, with only
our family as witnesses. Lucy wished Emily to be her bridemaid; but as
there was no one intimate enough in the family with whom it would be
pleasant for her to stand, sister easily persuaded her to dispense with
this part of the ceremony.
_Thursday, October 19th._
To-day I accompanied the Doctor and Emily to Squire Lee's. He is
exceedingly feeble, and Frank almost feared, lest the excitement of the
occasion would be too much for him. But the service was very short and
informal. When we were seated, Allen and Lucy came in from the adjoining
room, a short prayer was offered by the Rev. Mr. Munroe, the covenant of
marriage was administered and received, by which the parties pledged
themselves to a faithful performance of the duties of husband and wife,
as set forth in the holy scriptures, the benediction was pronounced, and
our dear friend was Lucy Lee no longer, but _Mrs. Lucy Mansfield_. In
this new character, she stepped forward quickly to her father and kissed
his pale brow, while we silently retired from the room, the Doctor alone
remaining with the patient. And he joined us in a few moments, leaving
the sick man far less fatigued than we had feared.
Frank says, he would give a great deal to know whether Squire Lee has
made provision for his daughter. After we all left the room, Lucy sat on
a cricket chafing his poor withered hand. He looked at her with melting
tenderness, as he said to Frank, who had returned to him, "Doctor, she
is a good girl."
_Friday, October 20th._
The Doctor called yesterday to see whether his patient had suffered from
the excitement of the previous day. Lucy was requested by her father to
leave the room, when he asked Frank to tell him plainly how long he
should probably live. The Doctor replied that he might linger some
weeks; but it would not surprise him, if he did not live many days, and
he advised him to set his house and his soul in order to meet the solemn
event. Squire Lee thanked him, and said, "I have much to do; I must
delay no longer."
Encouraged by his calmness, Frank had a very interesting conversation
with him, and was rejoiced to find him in a humble, penitent frame of
mind, with a trembling hope of forgiveness through the blood of Christ.
"He wept; he trembled; cast his eyes around,
To find a worse than he; but none he found.
He felt his sins, and wonder'd, he _should_ feel,
Grace made the wound, and grace alone could heal."
When the Doctor called again to see his patient, Mrs. Burns said that
the Squire had sent the porter out for a man who was then engaged with
him, and that she believed them to be making a will, as she had answered
the bell, and had taken into the chamber paper, pens and other apparatus
for writing; and when doing so she had heard her master, in a feeble
voice say something in which she clearly distinguished the words "legal
instrument."
The Doctor told her not to interrupt them, and assured her that he would
call again. Not long after, Jacob, the porter, came in haste for him to
go back, saying that he had been twice to the office in the village to
find him.
Frank met him on the road and instantly returned with him. On the way,
he was told a lawyer had been sent for who soon went out and returned
with two other men. After they all retired, Lucy hastened to the room,
fearing the effect of this unusual excitement upon her father. But as he
lay perfectly quiet, she supposed him to be sleeping. She sat by his
side, when perceiving that he remained for a long time in exactly the
same position, she became alarmed and began to chafe his temples and
hands. But as he still remained unconscious, she called Allen and sent
for the Doctor. When Frank entered the chamber, he found him slightly
revived, but unable to speak. He will not probably survive many hours.
Lucy is very anxious for the Doctor to remain through the night, and he
sent me word that he had consented to do so.
_Tuesday, October 24th._
My dear husband did not return home until near noon, as he has many
patients whom he was obliged to visit after leaving Squire Lee's. He
remained by the bed of the dying man the entire night. Poor old man! It
was really affecting to see how hard he tried to speak. He is very
anxious to make Lucy comprehend something, but she cannot get the least
clew to it. The feeble invalid wept that they could not understand him.
At length, Frank put a pencil into his hand and held the paper before
him; but in vain. He could not hold the pencil, and shook his head in
despair.
About eight o'clock this morning, the Doctor was called from the room by
Mrs. Burns, who said to him, "Mr. Colby, the lawyer, is below; and when
informed that you were in the house, he requested to see you."
Before they entered the parlor, Mrs. Burns in a low but agitated voice,
said, "Dr. Lenox, do ask him if Mr. Lee was making his will yesterday. I
know, the dear old man meant to do right by Lucy."
As Frank opened the door, Mr. Colby arose, and bowed, saying, "I have
been told by the house-keeper that Squire Lee is suffering from another
attack of paralysis; and I wish the opinion of his physician whether he
is in a sound and disposing mind, and is capable of finishing some
business transactions."
The Doctor replied, "he is not."
"I hold in my hand," continued the lawyer, looking over a document, "a
deed of gift of a small house and a piece of land. It is in favor of a
widow by the name of Churchill, whose prospects have been ruined by her
husband while in Squire Lee's employ. The language of the deed is a
little singular for a man of his character. It reads as follows: 'Deeply
regretting in the sight of God, before whom I am soon to appear, the
various wrongs of which I have been guilty toward Otis Churchill and
through him toward his family, and in consideration of his long and
valuable services the receipt of which I hereby acknowledge, I do give,
grant and convey unto his wife, Mrs. Hepsibah Churchill, her heirs and
assigns a certain lot of land with the house thereon, it being the same
which I took from her husband in execution of a mortgage thereon,
situated and bounded thus--.'"
While Frank was rejoiced that his dying patient had felt disposed to do
something to restore the widow and orphan to the happiness which had
been destroyed by his influence, he could not help sighing as he feared
lest a suitable provision for his daughter had been too long postponed,
if not wholly neglected. Mr. Colby was exceedingly interested and
anxious to ascertain how long it was after he took leave of him on the
preceding day, when the old gentleman was seized with this attack. He
asked if it were indeed true, as the house-keeper had informed him, that
the old gentleman had not spoken since he left.
Learning from the Doctor that the patient was now in a dying condition,
he departed, expressing great regret that the state of the invalid
should render it impossible for him to transact the legal business
contemplated.
_Wednesday, October 25th._
Emily has just returned from Squire Lee's, where she has been since
yesterday. The servants are in dreadful excitement for fear Joseph
should be left in possession of all the property, since it cannot be
ascertained that a new will has been made. They vehemently declare that
they will leave the house when their dear young mistress does. It
appears very clear that the father intended to make a new will from what
he said to Allen, and also from what Mrs. Burns heard him say to his
daughter the morning after the wedding, when she was preparing him to
receive the lawyer. Lucy was then smoothing his gray hair, and
affectionately kissed his pale cheek, when, holding her hand he said,
"you must try to forgive your poor old father for all his cruel
treatment of you. You can take pleasure in thinking that by your
affectionate care, you have made my last years the happiest of my life."
Then after a short pause, during which Lucy could not command her voice
to speak, he continued, "I mean to give you this estate and Allen
shall--" Here a fit of coughing interrupted him, and he never after
renewed the subject.
Emily says, "the dear girl is so affected at the thought of losing her
father, that she does not seem to realize that by his death she is to be
cut off from everything. Allen, however, is in a prosperous business,
and I do not doubt she will be happy."
Mr. Colby called again last evening; but of course no business could be
transacted. Allen asked him, if he had transacted business for the
Squire heretofore, and thought him slightly embarrassed as he replied
that he had done so, but principally through the son. Allen farther
asked, if he knew where Joseph was at present, and ascertained that he
was on the eve of departure for Europe. Mr. Colby farther stated that a
document had formerly been put into his hand which he supposed to be a
will.
_Thursday, October 26th._
Lucy is very anxious to have her brother come home if possible to see
her father once more; and Allen wrote a note to Mr. Colby begging him
to go to New York and detain Joseph from his voyage until after the
funeral.
This morning Squire Lee revived from the dreadful stupor in which he has
been lying for nearly twenty-four hours, and was able to swallow a few
tea-spoonfuls of wine and water.
He again tried to make them understand something. He pointed with his
hand to Lucy, then to the articles of furniture, then back to her. The
cold clammy sweat stood in drops upon his forehead from his violent
attempts to articulate.
"Dear, _dear_ father," said the weeping girl, unable to bear it longer,
"don't try to speak."
He pointed again.
"Do you wish me to understand that I am to have them?"
His countenance brightened at once.
"Thank you, dear father, all will be right."
He fixed his eyes for a long time upon the lovely countenance suspended
from the wall, and then closed them.
Lucy asked in a low voice, "can you trust your Saviour? He has promised
to save you if you will but trust him."
The dying man slowly opened his eyes, a bright smile passed over his
features, and his spirit took its flight. That glorious smile of triumph
through the Beloved still lingers. No doubt his eternity will be spent
in singing the abounding grace of God.
_Friday, October 27th._
A dreadful accident happened in the village to-day. Mr. Stone, a
respectable mechanic, fell from the top of a house where he was at work
upon the chimney. The staging gave way, and he was precipitated to the
ground, a distance of over thirty feet. He has no family, and has not
long been a resident in the place; nevertheless there is great sympathy
manifested at his sudden death. The Doctor reached him about twenty
minutes after he fell, but found him dying; and thinks that he knew
nothing after he struck the ground. He immediately wrote his parents to
ascertain their wishes with regard to the body of their unfortunate son.
How true it is that in the midst of life, we are in death; one moment in
time; the next in eternity. The family where Mr. Stone boarded, and
where Frank obtained the address of his parents, describe him as a very
moral, upright young man who attended church regularly on the Sabbath,
and who seldom left the house after he came in from his work in the
evening. His landlady was very much affected when the Doctor carried her
the intelligence; but said she thought him prepared to die.