DOWN BY THE RIVER.
"Only upon some cross of pain and woe,
God's Son may lie.
Each soul redeemed from self and sin, must have
Its Calvary."
ANON.
"The Porch House Thursdays," as they were called, had become red letter
days in Thorold Chaytor's life. Ever since that wet Christmas Eve when
he had partaken of "cakes and ale" in the hall at the Red House, he had
looked forward to them with an intensity that had surprised himself.
Little had he thought, when he had generously given a few hours of his
scanty leisure to help Althea in her good work, that such deep enjoyment
would be the result, and that he would actually count the hours until he
could see a certain curly head bending over the book. If only any one
had guessed how his heart always leaped at the sight!
Thorold's life until now had been laborious and joyless. His home was
utterly uncongenial to him. He loved his sister, but there was no real
sympathy between them, and, as he would often say bitterly to himself,
"Joa cares more for Trist's little finger than for me;" and he was
right. Joanna was one of those women whose short-sighted tenderness
makes them lavish their best affection on some prodigal, or black sheep.
Perhaps the fault might lie a little with Thorold. His calm,
self-controlled nature was somewhat repressive; few people understood
him, or guessed that underneath the quiet, undemonstrative surface,
there was a warm, passionate heart. Perhaps only Althea knew it; and
even she was in error about him, for she thought that his intellect
dominated his heart; but in this she was wrong.
Thorold Chaytor was a keenly ambitious man; he loved his work for its
own sake; but he was also desirous of success.
As he knew well, his feet were on the first rung of the ladder. His
literary work was already meeting with appreciation, and now he held
his first brief. The first cold breakers had been passed, and the bold
swimmer had his head well above water. Poverty would soon be a thing of
the past. But even as he grasped this fact gratefully, he was aware that
fresh responsibilities fettered him.
Tristram and Betty were on his hands. It would be long, probably years,
before Tristram would be able to provide a comfortable home for his
child, and when they quitted his roof he clearly foresaw that Joanna
would go with them. Nothing would part her from Betty.
But, for years to come, how was he to marry? Would any girl care to
enter that incongruous household? Would he wish to bring her? He was a
man who would want his wife to himself, who must have all or none. No
one must interfere with his monopoly. And then, with a pang of proud
sensitiveness, he told himself that the thing was impossible.
Nevertheless, the Porch House Thursdays were his high days and
festivals.
As he walked up the hill, in the darkness, some new, strange feeling was
throbbing at his heart; a sudden yearning to know his fate. It was no
use to delude himself with sophistries, or to cheat himself any longer.
The first moment he had looked into the depth of those wonderful eyes he
knew that he loved Waveney, as such men only love once in their lives;
and he knew now, too well, that he must win her for his wife, or for
ever live solitary.
His mind was in a chaotic state this evening. A subtle form of
temptation was assailing him. Why should it be hopeless? True, he could
not marry for years; but what if he were to tell her that he loved her,
and ask her to wait for him, as other women had waited?
He dallied with this thought a moment. "Give me a little hope," he would
say to her; "it will strengthen my hands, and I shall fight the battle
of life more bravely. Let me feel that I am no longer lonely." But even
as the words crossed his lips, he chid himself for his selfishness. Why
should he bind down that bright young life, and condemn her to years of
wearisome waiting? Why should his burdens be laid on her young
shoulders? How could he know what the years would bring? His health
might fail. And then, in a mood of dogged hopelessness, he let himself
into the little gate that led to the tennis-ground and the Porch House.
Little did he guess, as he passed the lighted window of the library,
that the objects of his thoughts lay there sleeping for sorrow.
But his first glance, as he entered the Recreation Hall, showed him that
the chair by Nora Greenwell was empty, and his face was graver and more
impassive than ever as he took up his book. But more than once that
evening, as he heard the latch lifted in the adjoining room, he lifted
his head, and his wistful look was fixed on the opening door. But no
little figure in sapphire blue came lightly into the room.
As soon as his duties were over Thorold crossed the room to Althea.
"Where is Miss Ward?" he asked, quietly. And Althea, who knew he had
personal interest in all his pupils, took the question as a matter of
course.
"I thought you would have heard," she said, a little sadly. "The poor
child is in great trouble." And then she gave him a brief account of the
last two days.
Thorold's face paled a little. He was extremely shocked.
"Her twin sister--that beautiful girl I saw in Old Ranelagh gardens?"
"Yes," returned Althea, sorrowfully. "I really think Mollie Ward has the
sweetest face I have ever seen. Oh, I do not wonder that Waveney loves
her so. She is suffering cruelly, poor child; but her father will not
allow her to go home."
"No, of course not," he returned, so quickly that Althea glanced at him.
"He is right, quite right. Diphtheria is terribly infectious. She might
be ill, too. Good heavens! No one in their sense would expose a girl to
such a risk." And Thorold spoke in a low, vehement tone of suppressed
feeling; but Althea was too much engrossed with her own painful train of
thoughts to notice his unusual emotion.
"No; you are right," she replied. "They must be kept apart. But,
Thorold, it makes my heart ache to see her, poor child! It is impossible
for any one to comfort her. I can do nothing with her."
Then Thorold's firm lips twitched a little.
"I am sorry," he said, in a quick undertone; "more sorry than I can say.
Will you tell her so, please? Good-night. I must go home and work." And
then he went off hastily, forgetting that it was his usual custom to
help Althea extinguish the lights, and to walk down the dark garden
with her; but Althea, sad and pre-occupied, hardly noticed this
desertion on Thorold's part.
The evening had seemed a long one to her; her thoughts were in poor
Mollie's sick room. Down below a lonely, anxious man sat by his solitary
fire. "God comfort him," she said to herself, softly, as she rose from
her seat.
The next few days dragged heavily on--days so dim with fear and anguish
that for many long years Waveney never willingly alluded to that time,
when the mere mention of it drove the colour from her face. Even Mollie,
suffering tortures patiently, hardly suffered more than Waveney.
Sir Hindley Richmond had paid his visit, but had spoken very guardedly
about the case. There were complications. It was impossible to say. A
great deal depended upon nursing. He would come again--yes, certainly,
if Mr. Ingram wished it; and then the great doctor drove off.
Everard took the news to the Red House. Perhaps he needed comfort
himself, and pined for a sight of his darling. But Waveney's changed
looks and languid step filled him with dismay.
She came to him silently, and as he took her in his arms a sob burst
from his lips. "Waveney, you will break my heart. Have pity on your poor
father. I have but two daughters, and Mollie----" And here he could say
no more. Waveney put her hands on his shoulders; they were cold as ice,
and her eyes had the fixed, heavy look of one who walks in her sleep.
"Father, is Mollie dying?" Her voice was quite toneless. Everard started
in horror.
"My darling child, no--God forbid that such sorrow should be ours; but
she is very ill, and I am afraid Sir Hindley Richmond thinks very
gravely of the case. There are complications; but he will come again.
Ingram insists on it. They are nursing her splendidly. Everything
depends on that." But it may be doubted if Waveney heard this.
"Father," she said, in the same dull voice, "I want you to make me a
promise. If there is no hope, if Sir Hindley says so, promise me that I
shall see her--before--before--you know what I mean."
"Oh, Waveney, my little Waveney, for God's sake do not ask me that!" and
Everard shook with emotion.
"But I do ask it." And then her arms went round his neck in a sudden
passion of pleading. "Father, I will be good--I will not go near or
kiss her; but her dear eyes must see me--she must know that I am there.
Father, if you love me, you will not refuse." And then, with a choking
sob, poor Everard gave reluctant consent.
Very little more passed between them, when Everard said he must go;
Waveney made no attempt to keep him. For the first time in her life her
father's presence failed to comfort her, and instinctively he realised
this.
"Take care of yourself for my sake," he said, as he kissed and blessed
her; but she made no answer when he left her. She paced up and down the
room restlessly. Movement--that was her sole relief; and bodily
fatigue--that would make her sleep. Once she pressed her face against
the window and looked out at the darkness. "Mollie is dying," she said
to herself, "and perhaps the dear Lord will let me die, too;" and then
she smiled at the thought, and resumed her pacing to and fro in the
firelight.
As Everard stumbled out of the room, Althea opened the door of the
library and beckoned to him. She had no need to ask him any question;
one glance at his face was enough. "Mr. Ward," she said, in her soft
voice, "I cannot let you go like this. Sit down by the fire, and I will
give you a nice hot cup of coffee. You always liked coffee better than
tea, I remember."
"You are very good," he returned, in a hesitating voice. "But I am
anxious to get back to my poor child. Dr. Duncan will be coming at six,
and Ingram will be round for news."
"Oh, I would not keep you for worlds," replied Althea, gently. "But you
must drink this first; and there is no need to drink it standing." And
then, with a half-smile, Everard yielded. The beautiful room, the soft
lamplight, the quiet face and kindly ministering hands of his old
friend, gave him a sudden feeling of warmth and repose. He felt like a
tired child brought out of the cold and darkness. As he drank his
coffee, the numb, strained feeling gave way.
"Miss Harford," he said, suddenly, "it makes me miserable to see
Waveney."
"Ah!" she returned, quickly, "I was afraid you would say that. But the
poor child is not herself. She is stunned with trouble. When we talk to
her, she does not seem to hear what we say. Doreen spoke to her a little
sharply, to-day," she went on. "She did it to rouse her; but, of course,
I told her that it would be useless. When she had finished, Waveney
merely looked at her, and then went out of the room. And Doreen was so
afraid she had hurt her that she followed her to say something kind.
Waveney seemed quite astonished. 'You have not hurt me, oh, no!' she
said. 'It is I who am rude, for I did not hear half you said. When I try
to listen, my head pains me, and I get confused. But I think nothing
hurts me.'"
Everard sighed. "What are we to do with her?" he asked, in a despairing
voice.
"Dear Mr. Ward," returned Althea, in her flute-like voice, "we can do
nothing but love her, and pray for her. She and her dear Mollie, too,
are in God's hands--not ours. Try to trust them both to Him." And then
Everard looked gratefully in her face.
"She is a sweet woman," he said to himself, as he walked towards the
station. "I wonder why she has never married?" But no suspicion of the
truth entered his mind.
Moritz used to send Noel up to the Red House nearly every day. But he
never came himself. He spent most of his time at Number Ten, Cleveland
Terrace.
Everard took very kindly to his visits. Moritz turned up at all hours,
with all sorts of excuses. He would send up messages to the nurses, and
very often would waylay Nurse Helena in the road outside. Nurse Helena,
who had a kindly, womanly nature, would smile a little sadly, as she
walked on. "He does not know, poor man, that he has a rival," she said
to herself. "There is a Monsieur Blackie. I have heard the name often.
But, poor child, what does it matter?" And here Nurse Helena shook her
comely head. For that day, dear, sweet Mollie was at her worst. And
Moritz was like a man distracted.
That afternoon Thorold Chaytor came home unusually early. He was
bringing his work with him. Joanna and Betty were spending the day with
a friend at Richmond, and Tristram had promised to join them in the
evening, so he would have the house to himself.
It was nearly four o'clock, but down by the river there was still light.
The water had a cold, steely gleam on it, and the black hulls of the
boats drawn up on shore, looked hard and forbidding. There was a touch
of frost in the air, and as Thorold lingered for a moment on the bridge,
he was surprised to see a solitary figure on the towing-path. The next
moment he uttered an exclamation, and then walked rapidly in the same
direction; his keen, far-sighted eyes had recognised the pedestrian.
Waveney's restlessness had amounted almost to disease that day; she
simply could not sit still. All the morning she had been wandering over
the common with the little dogs running beside her, and the moment
luncheon was over she started off on an errand to the Model
Lodging-house.
Her limbs ached with fatigue, but a streak of red sunset, casting a glow
on the river, attracted her irresistibly, and though the light had long
faded, and the air was chill and damp, she still paced up and down; but
she started, and a sudden giddiness came over her, as a deep voice
accosted her.
"Miss Ward, is this wise or right? Have you no regard for your health?"
and Thorold's voice was unusually stern; but even in that dim light, the
drawn pallor of her face frightened him. Could sickness and sorrow of
heart have wrought this change in these few days?
"Perhaps I have walked too much," she returned, faintly. "I am so fond
of walking, and the river is so beautiful, and there is nothing else to
do." And then a sudden impulse of self-preservation made her catch at
his arm. "I am so giddy," she said, in a tired little voice. "If I only
could sit down a moment!"
"There is a seat near," he returned, quietly; "let me help you." And
then his strong arm almost lifted her off the ground. The next moment
she was on the bench; but his arm was still around her. She was not
faint; her eyes were wide open and fixed on the water, but her strength
had gone, and, as far as he could judge, she seemed scarcely conscious
of her surroundings. She even submitted like a child when he drew her
head against his shoulder.
"Do not try to speak. It will pass, and you will be better soon." And
then he felt her pulse. The feeble beats spoke of utter exhaustion. Very
likely she had eaten nothing all day. There was only one thing to be
done. She must be warmed and fed, and then he must take her home.
"Do you think you could walk a little now?" he asked, when a few minutes
had passed, and the cold breeze from the river seemed to pierce through
him. "It is not safe to sit any longer. There is a frost to-night, and
we have only such a little way to go. Will you try?--and I will help
you."
"Oh, yes, why not?" returned Waveney, dreamily. "But it is not a little
way to the Red House, is it?" And then she rose stiffly, and if Thorold
had not held her she would have fallen. "Why am I like this?" she
panted. "I have never been weary before."
"You have walked too far," was his sole answer, "and you are numb with
cold." And then, half-supporting, half-carrying her in his man's
strength, they reached the bridge.
Under the gaslight he saw she had revived a little, and then he made her
take his arm. The town was lighted, and there were plenty of passers-by;
but, happily, there was not far to go. More than once, even in that
short distance, he was obliged to let her pause for a minute.
As he opened the little gate, she pressed his arm feebly.
"Oh, not here," she said. "I must go home. Please do not make me go in;
please--please, Mr. Chaytor."
"My dear child, can you not trust me?" was all his answer. "Do not fear.
I mean to take you home." And, somehow, his calm, authoritative voice
seemed to control her at once.