Fashions in entertaining have changed within the memory of "those now
living." Once, large parties were given, hundreds of invitations were
issued, a house was crowded from veranda to attic, and the occasion was
one of the few notable social events of the season. Then came the
fashion--partly for exclusiveness, partly for novelty, largely for
convenience--of giving during the season several small parties or
receptions, which in the aggregate might include all of one's visiting
list. The disadvantage of this plan, as an exclusive method of solving
the problem of social entertaining, was that slights were liable to
occur, and were sure to be bitterly felt and resented. Yet, what was a
hostess to do? To go back to the old-time crowded party, superadding
the increased luxury of modern entertaining, would be to re-establish
an inconvenient and expensive fashion. But some way must be devised to
bring one's friends together, in larger numbers, and with more prompt
and direct expression of hospitality and good fellowship than could be
conveyed by the slow and stately process of a series of dinners.
"Necessity is the mother of invention." Someone, probably having
reflected upon the easy social character of the English five o'clock
tea, solved the problem for the American hostess by instituting the
afternoon reception, which, somewhere between the hours of four and
six, summons a host of friends to cross one's threshold and meet
informally, chatting for a while over a sociable cup of tea, each group
giving place to others, none crowding, all at ease, every one the
recipient of a gracious welcome from the hostess, who by the
hospitality thus offered has tacitly placed each guest on her visiting
list for the season.
The afternoon reception is much the same affair, whether it be a tea
merely, or a _musicale_, or a literary occasion. If merely a
reception, conversation and the desultory chat of society, the drifting
about and the greeting of friends, and incidentally the cup of tea and
its dainty accessories, fill a half-hour or so very pleasantly; and
though inconsequent so far as any plan or motive is concerned, such
meeting and mingling may have all the desired effect as a promoter of
social pleasure and harmony.
When a _musicale_ is given at these afternoon hours, usually it is in
honor of some brilliant amateur, a pianist or singer, or, if the
program is miscellaneous, a gifted elocutionist. Or, it is an occasion
when some lion of the professional stage has been captured, either
socially or professionally, and the hostess gives to her less fortunate
friends an opportunity to see and hear at close range the celebrity
usually visible only through opera-glasses and beyond the foot-lights.
Or, some lady of well-known musical taste may be the patron of some
newly-arrived professor of music; and she invites her musical friends
to meet him, with the benevolent purpose to give him a profitable
introduction to a promising class of patrons.
When under any of these or similar conditions a formal program is
arranged, the hour is fixed, and is stated on the invitation card; as
"Music at 4." The guests should be prompt at the hour, so that no
interruption or confusion shall occur. When the reception is merely
social, guests come and leave at any time within the hours specified on
the invitation card; as, "Tea, 4 to 6."
When admitted to the house each one hands a card to the servant in
waiting. The guest repairs to the dressing-room to lay aside outer
wraps, and attend to any detail of the toilet which wind or accident
may have disarranged. Upon entering the parlor each guest is greeted
by the hostess, who stands near the door, surrounded by her aids. If
her husband's name appears on the card of invitation, he, also, is in
the receiving group, contributing, in so far as a man humbly may, to
the success of the occasion. The aids, besides assisting in receiving
the guests, are attentive to entertaining; and they see that no shy
person is overlooked in the invitation to partake of refreshments.
The tea is served in the same room when the guests are few, and in
another room of the suite if the reception is large. Usually a single
table is set, with coffee or chocolate at one end, and tea at the
other, served by young ladies, friends of the hostess. To be invited
to preside at the coffee urn, or to manipulate the swinging tea-kettle,
is accounted a high compliment.
Besides the tea, the refreshments, which are served from the table, may
be very thin slices of bread and butter, or wafers, or similar trifles;
but if the occasion approaches the nature of a formal reception, a more
elaborate preparation is made; _bouillon_, oysters, salads, ice-cream
and cakes, delicate rolls and bon-bons may be offered. The gradations
by which the frugal tea passes into the superabundant supper are not
easily classified. Each hostess will judge how much or how little
prominence to give to these provisions for the inner man. Usually,
however, very simple refreshments, daintily served, are all that is
desirable, as the guests go home to their dinners.
If a guest is a comparative stranger to others present, she is at
liberty to address any one in a chatty, agreeable way, without
introduction. Also, if any one observes another guest who seems to be
alone and neglected, it is a graceful and kind overture to open a
pleasant conversation.
One should not linger too long at an afternoon tea. Three-quarters of
an hour is a happy medium.
Allied to the afternoon tea are various phases of informal daytime
entertaining. For example, there is the "shower" for a bride-elect
("linen," "culinary," or what you will). A friend of the bride-to-be
invites a coterie of girl friends to meet the guest of honor, giving
each girl time to provide some beautiful or useful gift, the
presentations to be made with amusing ceremonies.
The "thimble bee," a favorite diversion of the quiet matronly set, each
one bringing her own bit of needlework to while away an hour or so in
pleasant conversation. One of the number may read aloud, with pauses
for comment at will. The thimble bee is a modern version of the good
old-fashioned "spend the afternoon and take tea." Both the shower and
the thimble bee may be given in the forenoon, if preferred.