The personal, or visiting, card is the representative of the individual
whose name it bears. It goes where he himself would be entitled to
appear, and in his absence it is equivalent to his presence. It is his
"double," delegated to fill all social spaces which his
variously-occupied life would otherwise compel him to leave vacant.
Since the card is to be received as the equivalent of one's self, it is
important that it shall be discreetly sent upon its embassy. In every
case where personal cards are correctly used the owner is accredited
with having performed _de facto_ whatever the card expresses for him,
be it a "call," a "regret," a "congratulation," an "apology," an
"introduction," a "farewell-taking," or whatever.
The rules guiding the uses of visiting cards are based upon this idea
of representation. The deputy is on duty only in the absence of his
superior, so the card is usually superfluous when the owner himself is
present.
A card sent at a wrong time suggests the possibility that the owner
might blunder similarly in his personal appearing. The neglect to send
a card at a proper time is equivalent to a _personal_ neglect. The man
who comes himself and hands you his card also is apt to have too many
elbows at a dinner, too many feet at a ball. He has about him a
suggestion of awkward superfluousness that is subtly consistent with
his duplicate announcement of himself.
For want of the much-needed genderless singular pronoun I have been
using the masculine form; but upon reflection I remember that it is the
women of society who have the most diverse responsibility in the
management of personal cards, their duties extending even to the care
and oversight of the cards of their socially careless and negligent
male relatives. But no matter who attends to the proprieties, the
relation of the card to its owner is the same in all cases. If his
card blunders, he gets the discredit of it. If his card always
flutters gracefully into the salver at exactly the right time and
place, the glory is all his own, even though his tireless wife or
mother or sister has done all the hard thinking bestowed on the matter.
Happy the man allied by the ties of close kindred to a gifted society
woman, for lo! his cards shall never be found missing, wherever _he_
may stray.