CHAPTER XVIII.

The Hewan was very quiet and silent that afternoon. Mrs Ogilvy perhaps

would not have recognised the crisis of exhaustion at which she had

arrived, had it not been for the remarks of the stranger within her

doors, the unwelcome guest whom she was so anxious to send away, and who

yet had an eye for the changes of her countenance which her son had not.

He took more interest in her fatigue than Robbie, who did not remark it

even now, and to whom it had not at all occurred that his mother should

want care or tenderness. She had always given it, in his experience; it

did not come into his mind. But, tutored by Lew, Mrs Ogilvy felt that

she could do no more. She went to her room, and even, for a wonder, lay

down on her bed, half apologising to herself that it was just for once,

and only for half an hour. But the house was very quiet. There was no

noise below to keep her watchful. If there were any voices at all, they

came in a subdued murmur from the garden behind, where perhaps Robbie

was showing to his friend the breakneck path down the brae to the Esk,

which nobody had remembered during the many years of his absence. It had

been his little mystery which he had delighted in as a boy. There was no

gate opening on it, nor visible mode of getting at it. The little gap in

the hedge through which as a boy he had squeezed himself so often was

all concealed by subsequent growth, but Robert’s eyes could still

distinguish it. Mrs Ogilvy said to herself, “He will be showing him that

awful road--and how to push himself through.” She felt herself repeat

vaguely “to push himself through, to push himself through,” and then she

ceased to go on with her thoughts. She had fallen asleep; so many times

she had not got her rest at night--and she was very tired. She fell

asleep. She would never have permitted herself to do so but for these

words of Lew. He was not at all bad. They said he had taken away a man’s

life--God forgive him!--but he saw when a woman was tired--an old

woman--that was not his mother: may be--if he had ever had a mother----

And here even these broken half-words, that floated through her brain,

failed. She fell asleep--more soundly than she had slept perhaps for

years.

The thoughts that passed through the mind of the adventurer in his

retreat in Andrew’s tool-house could not have been agreeable ones, but

they are out of my power to trace or follow. Women are perhaps more

ready to see their disabilities in this way than men. A man will

sometimes set forth in much detail, as if he knew, the fancies,

evanescent and changeful as a dream, of a girl’s dawning mind, putting

them all into rigid lines of black and white. Perhaps he thinks the

greater comprehends the less: but how to tell you what was the course of

reflections and endless breaks and takings up of thought in the mind of

a man who had a career to look back upon, such as that of Lew, is not in

my power. I might represent them as caused by sudden pangs of remorse,

by dreadful questions whether, if he had not done this or that----! by

haunting recollections of the look of a victim, or of the circumstances

of the scenes in which a crime had been committed: by a horrible

crushing sense that nothing could recall those moments in which haste

and passion had overcome all that was better in him. I do not believe

that Lew thought of any of these things: he had said he repented of

nothing--he thought of nothing, I well believe, but of the present,

which was hard enough for any man, and how he was to get through it. It

was a situation much worse than that of yesterday. Then he had still

continued to wonder at his absolute safety, at the extraordinary,

almost absurd fact, that he was in a place where nobody had ever heard

of him, where his name did not convey the smallest thrill of terror to

the feeblest. He had laughed at this, even when he was alone, not

without a sense of injury, and conviction that the people around must be

“born fools”: but yet a comfortable assurance of safety all the

same--safety which had half begun to bore him, as he said. But now that

situation had altogether changed. There was a woman in this place, even

in this place, who knew him, to whose mind it had conveyed a thrill that

he should be here. And there was a man in Scotland who had arrived to

hunt him down. His being had roused up to these two keen points of

stimulation. They seemed to a certain degree to set him right with

himself, a man not accustomed to feel himself nobody: and in the second

place, they roused him to fight, to that prodigious excitement, superior

perhaps to any other kind, which flames up when you have to fight for

your life. I suggest with diffidence that these were probably the

thoughts that went through him, broken with many admixtures which I

cannot divine. I believe that at that moment less than at any other was

he sorry for the crimes that he had committed. He had no time for

anything in (what he would have called) the way of sentiment. He had

quite enough to do thinking how to get out of this strait, to get again

into safety, and safety of a kind in which he should be less hampered

than here. There was the old woman, for instance, who had been kind to

him, whom he did not want to shock above measure or to get into trouble.

He resolved he would not take refuge in any place where there was an old

woman again, unless she were an old woman of a very different kind. Mrs

Ogilvy was quite right in her conviction that there was good in him. He

did not want to hurt her, even to hurt her feelings. In short, he would

not have anything done to vex her, unless there was no other way.

But though I cannot throw much light on his thoughts, I can tell you how

he spent the afternoon, to outward sight and consciousness. Robert

Ogilvy, before the arrival of this companion, had discovered that he

could arrange himself a rude sort of a lounging-place by means of an old

chair with a broken seat, and some of the rough wooden boxes, once

filled with groceries, &c., which had been placed in the tool-house to

be out of the way, and in which Andrew sometimes placed his seedlings,

and sometimes his strips of cloth and nails and sticks for tying up his

flowers. Lew had naturally edged his friend out of this comfortable

place. The seat of the chair was of cane-work, and still afforded

support to the sitter, though it was not in good repair; and the boxes

were of various heights, so that a variety of levels could be procured

when he tired of one. His meditations were promoted by smoke, and also

by a great deal of whisky-and-water, for which he took the trouble to

disarrange himself periodically to obtain a fresh supply from the bottle

which it disturbed Mrs Ogilvy to see so continually on the table in the

dining-room. It would have been more convenient to have it here--and it

was seldom that Lew subjected himself to an inconvenience; but he did in

this case, I am unable to tell why. It must be added that this constant

refreshing had no more effect upon him than as much water would have had

on many other people. And those little pilgrimages into the dining-room

were the only sound he made in the quiet of the house.

Robbie had gone out, to chew his cud of very bitter fancy. His thoughts

were not so uncomplicated, so distinguishable, as those of his

stronger-minded friend. He had been seized quite suddenly, as he had

been at intervals ever since he fell under Lew’s influence, with a

revulsion of feeling against this man, to whom he had been for this

month past, as for years, with broken intervals, before, the chose, the

chattel, the shadow and echo. It was perhaps the nature of poor Robbie

to be the chose of somebody, of any one who would take possession of him

except his natural guides: but there was a strain of the fantastic in

his spirit, as well as an instinct for what was lawful and right, which

had made him insufferable among the strange comrades to whom he had

drifted, yet never was strong enough to sever him from their lawless

company. He had never himself done any violent or dishonest act, though

he was one of the band who did, and had doubtless indirectly profited by

their ill-gotten gains. Perhaps refraining himself from every practical

breach of law, it gave him a pleasure, an excitement, to see the others

breaking it constantly, and to study the strange phenomena of it? I

suggest this possible explanation to minds more philosophical than mine.

Certainly Robbie was not philosophical, and if he was moved by so subtle

a principle, was quite unaware of it. He was in a tumult of disgust on

this occasion with Lew, and everything connected with him--with all the

trouble of hiding him, of securing his escape, of keeping watch and ward

for his sake, and of getting money for him out of the little store which

his mother had saved for him, Robbie, and not for any stranger. This

piquant touch of personal loss perhaps did more than anything else to

intensify his sudden ill-humour, offence, and rebellion. He strayed out

to see if the gap could be passed, if the deep precipitous gully down

the side of the hill gave shelter enough for a hurried escape. As he

wandered down towards the little stream, his eyes suddenly became

suspicious, and he saw a pursuer behind every tree and bush. He thought

he saw a man’s hat in the distance always disappearing as he followed

it: he thought even that the little girls playing beyond in the open

looked at him with significant glances, pointing him out to each

other--and this indeed was not a fancy; but there was nothing dangerous

in the indication--“Eh, see yon man! that’s the lady’s son at the

Hewan”--which these young persons, not at all conspirators, gave.

In the evening, as it began to grown dark, the two men as usual went out

together. It means almost more than a deadly quarrel, and the

substitution of hate for love or liking, to break a habit even of recent

date; and Robert had hated Lew, and longed to be delivered from him, a

dozen times at least, “without anything following. They went out very

silent at first, very watchful, not missing a single living creature

that went past them, though these were not many. They had both the

highly educated eyes of men who knew what it was to be hunted, and were

quick to discover every trace of a pursuer or an enemy. But the innocent

country road was innocent as ever, with very few passengers, and not one

of them likely to awaken alarm in the most nervous bosom. The silence

between them, however, continued so long, and it was so difficult to

make Robbie say anything, that his companion began at last to ask

questions, already half answered in previous conversations, about the

visitor who had recognised him. ‘Somebody who has not been very long

here--a stranger (like myself), but likely to form permanent relations

in the place (_not_ like me there, alas!),” said Lew. “Not to put too

fine a point upon it, she’s going to marry the minister. That’s so,

ain’t it?” Lew said.

“That’s what it is, so far as I know.”

“Look here,” he went on, “there’s several things in that to take away

its importance. In the first place, it could not be in the first society

of Colorado--the _crême de la crême_, you know--that she’d meet me.”

To this Robert assented merely with a sort of groan.

“From which it follows, that if she is setting up here in the odour of

sanctity, it’s not for her interests to make a fuss about my

acquaintance.”

“She might give you up, to get rid of you,” Robert said, curtly.

“Come now,” said his companion; “human nature’s bad enough, but hanged

if it’s so bad as that.”

“Oh, I thought you were of opinion that nothing was too bad----”

“Hold hard!” said Lew. “If you mean to carry on any longer like a bear

with a sore head, I propose we go home.”

“It’s as you like,” Robert said.

“Bob,” said the other, “mutual danger draws fellows together: it’s drawn

you and me together scores of times. We’re lost, or at all events I’m

lost, if it turns out different now.”

“Do you think I’m going to give you up?” said Rob, almost with a sneer.

“No, I don’t,” said Lew, calmly. “You haven’t the spirit. Your mammy

would do it like a shot, if it wasn’t for--other things.”

“What other things?” cried Rob, fiercely.

“Well, because she’s got a heart--rather bigger than her spirit, and

that’s saying a great deal: and because she believes like an Arab--and

that’s saying a great deal too--in her bread and salt.”

“Look here!” cried Rob, looking about him for a reason, “I don’t mean to

stand any longer the way you speak of my mother. Whatever she is, she is

my mother, and I’ll not listen to any gibes on that subject--least of

all from you.”

“What gibes? I say her heart is greater even than her spirit. I might

say that”--and here Lew made something like the sign of the Cross, for

he had queer fragments of religion in him, and sometimes thought he was

a Roman Catholic--“of the Queen of heaven.”

“You call her mother,” cried Bob, angrily.

“I should like to know,” said his companion, whose temper was

invulnerable, “where I could find a better name.”

“And old girl,” cried Rob, working himself into a sort of fury,

“and--other names.”

“I beg your pardon, old fellow; there I was wrong. It don’t mean

anything, you know. It means dear old lady; but I know it’s an ugly

style, and comes from bad breeding, and I’ll never do it again.”

A sort of grunt, half satisfied, half sullen, came from Rob, and his

companion knew the worst was over. “Let’s think a little,” he

said--“you’re grand at describing--tell me a bit what that woman is

like.”

Rob hesitated for some minutes, and then his pride gave way.

“She’s what you might call all in the air,” he said.

“Yes?”

“But looks at you to see if you think her so.”

“That’s capital, Bob.”

“She has a lot of fair hair--dull-looking, it might be false, but I

don’t think somehow it is--and no colour to speak of, but might put on

some, I should say. She looks like that.”

Lew put his arm within Rob’s as if accidentally, and gave forth a low

whistle. “If that’s _her_,” he said, “and she’s going to marry a

minister--I should just think she would like to get me out of the way.”

“But why, then, should she ask you to come and see her?--for she had

seen you on the sly, and that was enough.”

“There’s where the mystery comes in: but you never know that kind of

woman. There’s always a screw loose in them somewhere. She repents it,

perhaps, by now. Let’s make a round by her house, wherever it is, and

perhaps we’ll see her through a window, as she saw me.”

“It’s close to the village--it’s dangerous--don’t think of it,” said

Rob.

“Dangerous!” cried the other: “what’s a man for but to face danger--when

it comes? I’m twice the man I was last night. I smell the smell of

gunpowder in the air. I feel as if I could face the worst road, ten

minutes’ start, and fifty mile an hour.”

If this trumpet-note was intended to rouse Rob, it was successful. His

duller spirit caught the spark of excitement, which moved it only to the

point of exhilaration and drove the last mist away. They went on, always

with caution, always watchful, through a corner of the little town where

the houses were almost all closed, and the good people in bed. No two

innocent persons, however observant, were they the finest naturalists or

scientific observers in the world, ever saw so much in a dark road as

these two broken men. They saw the very footsteps of the few people who

came towards them in the darkness, darker here with the shadow of the

houses than in the open country, but not important enough to have

lights: and could tell what manner of people they were--honest, meaning

no harm, or stealthy and prepared for mischief--though they never saw

the faces that belonged to them. “There’s one that means no good,” Lew

said. There was no man in the world who had a greater contempt for a

petty thief. “I’ve half a mind to warn some one of him.”

“For goodness’ sake, make no disturbance,” said the (for once) more

prudent Rob.

Presently they came to Mrs Ainslie’s house, a little square house, with

its door close to the road, but a considerable garden behind. There was

light in the windows still, but no chance of seeing into the interior

behind the closed blinds. “Let’s risk it, Bob; let’s go and pay our call

like gentlemen,” said Lew.

“You don’t think of such a thing!” cried Robert, holding him back. This

was perhaps one of the things that bound Lew’s followers to him most.

Sometimes the excitement of risk and daring got into his veins like

wine, and then the youngest and least guarded of them had to change

_rôles_ with the captain and restrain him. But whether Rob could have

succeeded in doing so can never be known, for at the moment there were

sounds in the house, and the door was opened, and a conversation, begun

inside, was carried on for a minute or two there. The pair who appeared

were the minister and Mrs Ainslie. He all dark, his face shaded by his

hat: she in a light dress, and with a candle in her hand, which threw

its light upon her face. She was saying good-night, and bidding her

visitor take care of the corner where it was so dark. “There is what

your people call a dub there,” she said, with one of those shrill

laughs which cut the air--and she held the candle high to guide her

visitor’s parting steps. He answered, in a voice very dull and

low-pitched after hers, that he was bound to know every dub in the

place; and so went off, bidding her, if she went to Edinburgh in the

morning, be sure to be back in good time.

She stood there for a moment after he was gone, and held up her candle

again, as if that could pierce instead of increasing the darkness around

her, and looked first in one direction, then in the other. Then she

stood for a second minute as if listening, and then slightly shaking her

head, turned and went in again. If she could have seen the two set faces

watching her out of the darkness, within the deep shadow of the opposite

wall! Lew grasped Rob’s arm as in a vice, and with the other hand sought

that pocket to which he turned so naturally: while Rob followed the

movement in a panic, and got his hand upon that which already had half

seized the revolver. “You wouldn’t be such an idiot, Lew!”

“If I gave her a bullet,” said the other in the darkness, “it would be

the least of her deserts, and the cheapest for the world.” Their voices

could not have been audible to Mrs Ainslie, turning to shut her door,

but something must have thrilled the air, for she came out and looked up

and down again. Was she as fearless as the others, and fired with

excitement too? And then the closing of the door echoed out into the

stillness,--not the report of the revolver, thank heaven! She had shown

no signs of alarm: but the two men, as they went away, trembled in every

limb--Rob with alarm and excitement, and the sense that murder had been

in the air; his companion with other feelings still.

It was very late when Mrs Ogilvy woke, and then not of herself, but by

Robbie’s call, whom she suddenly roused herself to see standing in the

dark by her bedside. It was quite dark, not any lingering of light in

the sky, which showed how far on in the night it was. She sprang up from

her bed, crying out, “What has happened--what have I been doing?” with

something like shame. “Have I been sleeping all this time?” she cried

with dismay.

“Don’t hurry, mother--you were tired out. I’m very glad you have slept.

Nothing’s wrong. Don’t get up in a hurry. I should like to speak to you

here. I’ve--got something to say.”

“What is it, Robbie?--whatever it is, my dear, would you not like a

light?”

“No; I like this best. I used to creep into your room in the dark, if

you remember, when I had something to confess. I had always plenty to

confess, mother.”

“Oh, my Robbie, my dear, my dear!”

She stretched out her hands to him to touch his, to draw him near: but

he still hung at a little distance, a tall shadow in the dark.

“It is not for myself this time. It is Lew: he was very much touched

with what you said to-day. He’ll go, I believe--whether with me or not.

I might see him away, and then come back. But the chief thing after all,

you know, is the money. You said you would give him----”

“Oh, Robbie, God be praised!--whatever he required for his passage, and

to give him a new beginning; but you’ll not leave me again, not you, not

you!”

“I did not say I would,” he said, with a querulous tone in his voice.

“His passage! He wouldn’t go back to America, you know.”

“No, my dear, I did not suppose he would. I thought--one of the

islands,” said Mrs Ogilvy, in subdued tones.

“One of the islands! I don’t know what you mean” (and, indeed, neither

did she), “unless it were New Zealand, perhaps--that’s an island: but

you would not banish him there, mother. Lew thinks he might go to India.

He might begin again, and do better there.”

“India--that is far, far away--and a dear passage, and all the luxuries

you want there. Robbie, I would not grudge it for myself--it is for you,

my dear.”

“If he had plenty of money, it would be his best chance.”

Mrs Ogilvy slid softly off the bed, where she had been listening. She

was as generous as a princess--as princesses used to be in the time of

the fairy tales; but it startled her that this stranger should expect

“plenty of money” from her hands. “How could we give him that?” she

said: “and whatever went to him, it would be taken from you, Robbie. If

you will fix on a sum, I will do everything I can. I do not grudge

him--no, no. My heart is wae for him. But to despoil my only son, my one

bairn, for a stranger. It is not just, it is not what I should do----”

“Would you give him a thousand pounds, mother?”

“A thousand pounds!” she cried with a shriek. “Laddie, are ye wild?--the

greatest part of what you will have--the half, or near the half, of all.

I think one of us is out of our senses, either you or me!”

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