owing to the silliness of man, to say nothing of the certain quality
in the ladies, heaven and earth are sometimes moved, in order to
obtain access to particular houses. As it may be well to understand
each other on the subject of terms, let me explain what is meant
here by exclusion. English exclusion is a wheel within a wheel;
it is a capricious and arbitrary selection independently often of
rank, fortune, birth, accomplishments, learning, or any thing else
beyond mere fashion. It probably can no more be accounted for, than
the dog, who did not eat hay himself, nor could give a substantial
reason why he refused to let the ox have it. It is a sheer and
natural consequence of the wantonness that is engendered by extreme
luxury and a highly factitious state of things. We make a great
mistake in America, in this matter, by blending the selection of
society that are connected with education, similarity of habits and
modes of living, unison of opinions, tastes, and breeding, with the
arbitrary exclusion that is founded on nothing better than the whim
I have just mentioned. One is natural, the other forced; one is
necessary to the well ordering of society, and to the preservation
of manners and tastes, the other is an effort to supplant the useful
by the capricious; one is indispensable to all that is respectable
in the sense connected with station, and is the only means by which
grace can be cultivated, or refinement produced, while the other is
inherently and irretrievably vulgar. Wherever civilization exists,
society will be separated by castes, for it is not desirable to
reduce all to the same level of deportment, tastes, and intelligence,
nor possible without making a sacrifice of that which is most
estimable. All that liberty assures us, is an entire equality of
rights, and there would be little of this in a community, in which
the cultivated and elegant were compelled to sacrifice their feelings
by an unlimited association with the ignorant and coarse. The common
sense of mankind, every where, silently admits this, and they who cry
out loudest against it, are men who usually are unyielding to those
beneath them, and declaimers for social equality only as respects
their betters. They do not understand the reasons of their own
exclusion, for they cannot comprehend points of breeding they have
never been taught, tastes they have never cultivated, language they
have never heard, and sentiments they have never felt. Happily these
social divisions are inevitable, but the extreme exclusion of the
English, is a diseased excrescence; a sort of proud flesh, that has
shot up in a moral atmosphere, in which these natural causes have
been stimulated into unnatural action, by the uncalled for aid of
artificial stimulants and calculated adjuncts.
I cannot tell you _why_ the house of the Duke of —— is considered the
very centre of exclusion, in the sense last named, at London; but I
believe such to be the fact. After a few general admissions in favour
of colour, texture, and workmanship, one would be puzzled to say why
your sex decided on the fashion of the hat at the last exhibition of
_Longs Champs_. The Duke of —— is neither the oldest, the richest,
the handsomest, the youngest, nor yet the most illustrious man
in London, by a great many, and still, in a sense connected with
extreme _haut ton_, he is, perhaps, the one most in request. He is
the most _fashionable_, and that, until the _mode_ shall be changed,
is all that it is necessary to establish, to make out my case. Mr.
—— mentioned, in conversation, that the master of this enviable
establishment, had expressed a desire that he would invite me to be
among the guests on his next evening. “He would have sent his card,
but I told him you would not stand on the ceremony,” added my friend.
It is always so much better that one should conform to the usages
that custom and delicacy prescribe, and this the more especially when
circumstances may render others doubtful of their reception, that I
thought he had much better not have told him any such thing. A card
would have removed every obstacle, and, as I was on easy terms with
the negotiator, I believe I laughingly intimated as much. All that
was said on the occasion, was said in three minutes, and amounted to
a delivery of the request, the explanation I have mentioned, and my
laughing comment. The next day I dined with two Americans, both of
whom have long been resident here, and the conversation happening
to turn on visits, I inquired whether there was any exemption in
the case of a peer, about making the first visit in England, or, in
short, whether our own usage, or that of the continent prevailed. I
then mentioned the equivocal sort of invitation I had to —— house.
They both assured me, I had not received the proper attention, and
that I was not bound to notice it, any further than had been done, by
a simple acknowledgment of the civility of the messenger. One might
go, or not, on such an invitation. In Paris it would have been my
duty to leave a card, in such a case, and on its being returned, I
might have gone with propriety. Under the circumstances, I determined
to let things take their course; or if Mr. —— said any thing more
about it, to go on his account; if not, to stay away on my own. When
the evening arrived, however, Sir James Macintosh very kindly sent a
note, to say _he_ would be my companion, and I I had nothing to do
but to express my acknowledgments and readiness to accompany him;
for while I cared very little about —— house, and exclusion, I did
care a good deal about receiving such an attention from Sir James
Macintosh.
I have said more concerning this silly affair than it deserves, but,
having related the simple facts, it may be well not to throw away the
moral. So much deference is paid here to rank, the cravings of the
untitled to be noticed by the titled are so strong, and America is
deemed so little worthy of taking place with any thing, that I am not
surprised that the truth, even in this case, should excite comment
among the English. But what are we to say and think of our own manly,
and “much beloved country,” which, instead of supporting one of its
citizens in maintaining what was due not only to himself, but to his
nation, helps to confirm its present unseemly position, by decrying
what would have been no more than an act of gentlemanly propriety and
dignity, had it occurred, and which never having occurred at all,
lends itself to the circulation of the falsehoods, that the malignant
feelings of a set, in which even the name of America is hated, have
seen proper to set in motion!
The American who comes to this country, and, forgetful of
self-respect, of national pride, of the usages of society even,
becomes the toad-eater of the great, is represented as a gentleman,
as a man of sentiment, and of delicate feelings! The crumbs of
flattery that are thrown out to him, to lead him on, and render
him ridiculous, that the people to whom he belongs may be held up
to ridicule through him, are reported at home, with high sounding
exaggerations in his favour, while he who would simply maintain
that an American gentleman is entitled to be treated like any other
gentleman, is rendered liable to exaggerations just the other way.
After all, unhappily, there is no more in this, than has marked our
career from the commencement. The American who gets the good word
of England is sure of having that of his own country, and he who is
abused by England will be certain of being abused at home. I doubt if
the history of the United States shows an instance to the contrary,
except in cases connected with the party politics of the day, and
much of the time, not even in them. It is not possible for one living
at home, fully to comprehend the extent of the malignancy, or the
nature of the falsehoods that are industriously circulated here, at
the expense of the country and its citizens, and so far from leaning
to credulity, when any thing of this nature reaches his own side of
the Atlantic, not only does his character for sagacity require him
to receive it with caution, but even his _safety_. If the craven
and dependent feeling which exists so strongly in what are called
the better classes of America, on the subject of Great Britain,
existed in the body of the nation, our political union, or political
independence, in my opinion, would not be worth ten years’ purchase.
I went to the lodgings of Sir James Macintosh, in Clarges Street,
where we boldly entered a _hackney coach_, together, and drove
triumphantly up to the very door of —— house. I was quite passive in
this daring act, however, and I throw the whole responsibility on the
shoulders of my learned companion. We found the entrance thronged
with footmen, and carriages were constantly arriving.
—— house has one of those ill-contrived entrances, by a flight
of exterior steps, which can never be used in bad weather, and
which ought never to be used by your sex, at all. To obviate
this difficulty, there is a more private entrance, through the
basement, by which we were admitted. Here we found, in a sort of
semi-subterraneous ante-chamber, ladies uncloaking, amid some fifty
lackies. The room was in truth, above ground, but it strongly
reminded me of the apartment beneath the rotunda of the capitol;
that which is called the _caucus_. A footman took our names, and we
were announced by a line of servants spread through the passages and
on the stairs. I believe there were four repetitions, all in good
audible voices.
As the groom of the chambers, who stands at the door of the first
reception-room, does not announce until you arrive, this mode at
least has the merit of letting you know what is about to be said
of you, and it affords an opportunity of correcting mistakes. On
reaching this personage, he preceded us through one room to the door
of a second, where he announced us, in the usual manner. There may
be a little more style in this method of sending up names, but it
is not easy to see its use, (unless you admit the one already named)
especially if there be a convenient ante-chamber to uncloak in. Both
the ante-chamber, and the stairs of —— house, used to-night, were
unworthy of the rest of the exhibition. The latter, in particular,
were almost as narrow and mean as a New York flight.
Lord N——, one of the men of fashion and taste here, told me, in
speaking of your sex in England, that he fancied he could see a
difference between the women one meets with in and about Grosvenor
Square, and the women who frequent —— house. He gave a decided
preference to the latter. When you remember that Grosvenor Square
is inhabited by some of the highest nobles of England, and that it
is one of the distinguished quarters of the town, you will at once
perceive how subtle are the lines drawn by a fastidious taste, or, at
least, by a fancy, that is overshadowed by fashion.
We found some two or three hundred of the _élite_ of the town,
collected on this occasion. The master of the house was not present,
and we were received by a sister Lady, who excused his absence
by telling us he was indisposed. After this ceremony, we were
permitted to stroll through the rooms and to look about us. I was
introduced to a dozen people, among whom were M. Palmella, the
Portuguese ambassador, and Sir James Scarlett. The former was a
short, compactly-built, man, like most of his countrymen, while the
latter, whom I had figured to myself, on account of the odious wigs
of Westminster Hall, as a staid old gentleman, with a greasy face and
a red nose, was a handsome, genteel, well-formed, and well-dressed
man of fashion. When I mentioned my surprise to ——, he humourously
remarked: “Yes, yes; he is good-looking, and all that, but he is an
impudent dog in the house; most of the lawyers are impudent dogs in
the house.” It is impudence, you will understand, for a new man to
let it be seen he knows more than your hereditary legislator.
I cannot say that I was as much struck with the peculiar advantages
of the ladies over the rest of their sex, as was the case with my
Lord N——. There were many pretty, and a few beautiful, women present,
but nothing of a very extraordinary nature. The Princess Lieven,
who is a mirror of fashion, was among them. She looked more like an
American woman, than most of the others.
I was a little amused with two or three whom I knew, and who
evidently watched my manner, with the idea of detecting provincial
surprise at the splendour and beauty by which I was environed.
The expectation was too obvious to be mistaken. As respects the
magnificence, it was certainly a great deal beyond any thing we
have, and as certainly as much below a great deal I had seen on the
continent. As an American, perhaps, I ought to have been astonished,
though certainly not as a traveller.
The house was spacious, without being remarkably so; the furniture
and fixtures were comfortable and heavy, rather than tasteful and
rich; and the whole entertainment, the mean approach excepted, was as
much respectable as magnificent. As for the company, I saw nothing
unusual in its appearance. There may have been certain conventional
signals and forms that rendered it peculiarly agreeable to those who
were in the secret; but, judging it by those general laws that are
supposed to regulate the intercourse of the refined and polished,
it struck me as being _tant soit peu_ below the tone of one or two
_salons_ I have entered in Paris. Of course, there was no vulgarity,
no noise, and a good deal of ease, and much good sense; but there was
a slightly apparent self-felicitation and enjoyment, in a good many,
that a little too plainly betrayed a consciousness that they were in
—— house.
I was a little annoyed by the curiosity to see how an American would
be struck with the wonders, and may have attributed this feeling to
some who did not entertain it; but still I should say, that while
there was possibly less acting on the score of personal vanity and
from individual motives, than there would have been among the same
number of French people of rank, there was a good deal more of it,
from the exultation of belonging to a set so particularly exclusive.
There was present a young Duke of ——, with his wife on his arm; a
lady old enough to be his mother. She was a dark Spanish-looking
woman, well preserved, and with the remains of great beauty.
I thought the faces of your sex less English than common, a
circumstance which may have been owing, however, to the _coiffures_,
which were generally French. The _toilettes_ were rich and handsome,
of course; but it is a fact, I think, beyond cavil, that the women of
London do not dress as well as their fair rivals, on the other side
of the channel; and I can only account for it, by the English lady’s
maid wanting the tact and taste of her French competitor; for, half
the time, the peculiarity is observable at Paris, even, where both
parties have access to the same _artistes_.
I went away early, and alone, the latter circumstance occasioning a
mistake almost as ludicrous as that which accompanied the well-known
Philadelphia experiment in announcing. There is a woman of fashion,
here, a Countess ——, whose husband’s title is the same as his name,
which is the same as our own in sound, though not in spelling.
The latter having been varied by one of those caprices that have
converted St. Maur into Seymour, and, according to Sir William of
that Ilk, Pepin into Draper. I gave my name to the groom of the
chambers, on leaving the rooms, and at my request, he called for Mr.
——’s servant, for I had ordered little Smith to be in waiting with
a cloak, intending to walk home, the distance being trifling. The
first servant on the stairs, however, accustomed to the title of my
fair namesake, and aware that she was in the rooms, called out, in a
loud voice, for “Lady ——’s people.” This cry preceded me, and when I
reached the _caucus_, I found two powdered and liveried lackies ready
to cover me with shawls and cloaks! I declined their good offices,
but begged one of them to call Mr. ——’s man. The little fellow made
his appearance, amid the sneers and laughter of his taller peers, who
seemed to regard his powdered poll, and lack of inches, much as the
peacocks regarded the finery of the daw.
I went one evening lately, to three balls, a mode of comparing sets,
that I have always found useful in getting accurate notions of the
ways of the world. As a brief account of what I saw, may not only
amuse you, but serve to give you an idea of how these things are
managed here, it shall not be withheld.
The first visit was to a rich merchant, who had risen in the world
by his own enterprise, and who had finally come to keep what might
be called a pretty good house. The style of building was much the
same as that which prevailed in New York among genteel people, some
thirty years since, with the exception that there was no stoup. The
drawing-rooms were up one flight of steps, that in front occupying
the whole width of the building. This is a fashion almost as general
here, with the exception of the great houses, as the two rooms and
folding doors, at home.
The mistress of this house was nervous, fidgety, and uneasy lest
every thing should be not quite as elegant as she desired. I had not
been in the room five minutes, before she whispered to me her great
sorrow that the _Honourable_ Mrs. Somebody had not been able to come,
on account of some distressing event; this being positively the first
time, in my life, I had ever heard of the honourable personage.
There is a class here, that make almost as much use of this word,
as the editors who come from New England. The company was exactly
what you would suppose it to be when the presence or absence of an
_honourable_ Mrs. Somebody was a matter of moment.
From this house I went to another, in the neighbourhood, for the
mercantile people, who aim at fashion, now live altogether at the
west end, where I found very much the same sort of dwelling, but
very different company. The mistress of this house, was an American,
married to an Englishman of a good estate, and of respectable
standing. Here I met with honourables and right honourables, enough;
no one appearing to care any thing about them. I should absolutely
have nothing to say concerning this ball, which was just like any
other ball in a respectable house, did I not feel bound to add that I
was much struck with the beauty of the young women, the neatness of
their attire, and the accuracy and lady-like manner of their dancing.
The quadrilles did not equal those of the Russian embassy, at Paris,
already mentioned, it is true; for there was neither the numbers, nor
the space, and possibly not the instruction necessary to produce an
exhibition of this nature, equal to what one sees in Paris; but they
were very graceful, and, what may appear to you as heterodox, quite
equal in beauty to what one sees in New York or Washington.
I was looking at the dancers, when an English acquaintance observed,
that he had lately met with a young American at a ball, and “really
he could not see that she did not dance quite as well as the English
girls about her.” You will judge of the effect this produced on me,
when I tell you, it was said, just as I had silently come to the
conclusion that the English girls had, at last, learned to dance
_nearly_, if not absolutely as well, as our own!
This may serve to give you some notion how accurately nations
understand each other’s peculiarities. Since my sojourn in Europe,
it has been my good luck to witness the triumph of one American, on
a scene far superior to any thing that usually offers in London. I
shall not name the place, nor even the country, but it was at a ball
given by a woman of royal birth. The palace was magnificent; and the
company, the first in Europe. There were present fifteen or twenty
royal personages, or those who were closely allied to monarchs,
and nearly half in the room were of the titular rank, at least, of
princes. I remember there was the heir to an English dukedom among
others, and he attracted no more attention than any ordinary young
man. A young American girl was invited to stand up in the set of
honour. Her quiet, simple, feminine, lady-like dancing, coupled with
the artless ingenuousness of a sweet countenance, in which mind was
struggling with natural timidity and the reserve of good breeding,
caused her, even in that assembly, to be instantly an object of
universal admiration. As I stood in the crowd, unknown, I overheard
the comments, which were general on every side of me. “Who is it?”
was the first question; and when some one told her name and country,
I heard no exclamation of surprise, that an American should be a
lady, or know how to dance. In the course of the evening, it is true,
twenty compliments were paid me on the grace and deportment of my
young countrywomen in general, for it was inferred, at once, that
they had seen a specimen of the nation!
From the house of Mrs. ——, who, herself, is far more creditable to
us, than many who figure in the periodicals, showing her adopted
countrywomen in what the true virtues of your sex consist, by being
a model for a wife and mother, while she has cleverness and spirit,
I went to that of a Lord C——. Although I was now under a patrician
roof, I saw no sensible difference in the building. Even the merchant
was as well lodged as the peer, and all three of the houses had
precisely the same wearisome monotony as our own. After the taste and
variety of the dwellings on the continent of Europe, you may imagine
how dull and fatiguing it is to enter twenty houses of a morning,
and find precisely the same internal arrangement. They appear to me
to be constructed like the coffins one sees in our streets, for some
particular market, differing in sizes to suit, not the persons, but
the purses, of customers, and, being put one in another, sent away
for sale.
The company at Lord C——’s, was much the same as that at Mrs. ——’s.
It was generally well bred and well toned, and, in the principal
drawing-room, where the quadrilles were in motion, I saw no
difference, beyond that which belongs to personal peculiarity. There
were the same pretty faces, the same fine, well-rounded forms, and
the same regulated and graceful carriage. Depend on it, the English
women will, sooner or later, dance as well as yourselves. Good luck
to Free Trade!
You will feel some desire to know how balls, like the two last, will
compare with balls of our own. In London, the rooms are a little
larger; the music is much the same; the females, to a slight degree,
are better dressed, as to freshness, though scarcely as well dressed
as to taste; the men also, I think, are a little better dressed. The
attendance has much more style, and the refreshments are not as good
as with us. As to the essential point of deportment, the distinctions
are more obvious than one could wish, especially among the men, and
among the very youthful of your own sex.
The young play a very different part in Europe from that which is
confided to them at home. On the continent of Europe, though girls
of condition are now permitted to mingle a little with the world
previously to marriage, it is under severe restraint, and with much
reserve. The English have greater latitude allowed them, though
infinitely less, than is granted with us. They still play a secondary
part in society, and are subjected to a good deal of restraint. I
should say that tone, reflection, and perhaps necessity, impart more
_retenu_ of manner here, than it is common to see with us, though
girls of good families, certainly the daughters of good mothers, at
home, come pretty nearly up to the level of English deportment. It
is the _pêle mêle_ of society, in towns that double their population
in fifteen years, that is so destructive of manners with us. In the
general scramble, no set remains long enough in a prominent situation
to form a model. The growth of the country has this sin to answer
for, as well as many others that are imputed to the institutions.
In brief, then, a better manner prevailed at these balls than is
usually met with at ours. I say usually, for I know exceptions in
America, but our present concern is with the rule. There was less
noise, nothing of the nursery, and generally that superiority of air,
which is a natural consequence of minds more scrupulously trained and
cultivated, and of a breeding subjected to laws more unyielding and
arbitrary. Do not whisper these opinions, I beseech you, to any of
your acquaintances, lest they murder me.
In making these comparisons, however, I do not wish to be
misunderstood. I could fill a drawing-room, even in New York, that
Babel of manners, with women who should do credit to any country. The
difficulty would not be to select, but to exclude.
I have certainly met with a few instances of the exuberant manner
among English women, but never among the higher classes. A caste, or
two, lower in the social scale, it is not uncommon, and there is a
set in which it actually appears to be the _mode_. Taking one example
from this specimen of the nation, I will describe her, in order that
you may know, not _whom_, but _what_, I mean.
Imagine a pretty woman, who will put herself in the centre of the
floor alone, _entertaining_ two or three men! She talks loud, laughs
much, and has altogether a most startling confidence about her; she
looks her companion full in the eye, with a determined innocence that
makes him feel like a victim, and causes him to wish for a fan. This
is a decided garrison manner, and has little or no success at London.
Something like it might be seen in the house to which I first went
this evening, but nothing like it, at the two others.