"It would be nice to have a taking sort of girl," I thought (unfortunately
aloud).
"We won't think of her, the hussy!" said Phyllis. "Pass me the paper,
please."
"They all seem to want 's.a.v.,'" she said. "What do you suppose it means?
I wish they wouldn't use so many abbreviations. 'S.a.' stands for Sunday
afternoon, of course, but I can't think what the 'v.' is for. Of course
we'll give them Sunday afternoons free, if that's what it means. I only
wonder they don't want an evening off in the week as well. I call them most
reasonable. And there are so many to choose from. I always understood from
mother that they're so hard to get."
Then she turned the paper over.
"Oh, you are stupid!" she said. "You've been looking at the 'Shops and
Businesses for Sale' column."
"So've you," I snapped.
And then I regret to say we had our first quarrel.
I told Phyllis firmly that she is not at all tkg., nor would she stand any
test; that no one could engage her, much less marry her, without taking
risks; that she hadn't had s. hands for yrs., that _she_ wouldn't go
without her bacon for anyone, and that I should be jolly thankful if she
would take every blessed s.a.v.
I admit that Phyllis was more dignified. She merely sailed out of the room,
remarking that I made her trd.
* * * * *
"OUR INVINCIBLE NAVY."
In continuation of a paragraph in his last issue, Mr. Punch expresses his
regret if the article which appeared under the above title in these pages
on January 14th has unwittingly given offence to any one of his readers
through others having connected him with the character of _Reginald
McTaggart_.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE CONSCIENTIOUS BURGLAR.
PAISLEY HUMANITARIAN. "IF I COULD ONLY BE QUITE SURE THAT I SHOULDN'T BE
DISCOURAGING HIM FROM SAVING."
[Mr. ASQUITH has pronounced himself cautiously in favour of a Capital Levy,
on the condition, amongst others, that it must not be allowed to discourage
the habit of saving.]]
* * * * *
[Illustration: JULIUS CÆSAR ON THE LINKS.
_Actor_ (_whose knowledge of SHAKSPEARE is greater than his golf_). "'O,
PARDON ME, THOU BLEEDING PIECE OF EARTH.'"]
* * * * *