* * * * *
"SMALL ADS."
"Where do you get servants from?" I asked.
"From small ads.," said Phyllis promptly.
I picked up the paper from the floor where I had thrown it in the morning.
My wife is one of those rare women who always leave things where you put
them. It is this trait that endears her to me. I ran my trained eye over an
ad. column.
"Got it at once," I said with pardonable pride. "How's this?--'General
(genuine), stand any test trd. £70 possess. s. hands yrs. s.a.v.'"
"I like genuine people," said Phyllis thoughtfully. "And under the
circumstances"--(here she looked hard at me, as if I were a circumstance)--
"under the circumstances I think we ought to have one that will stand any
test. Seventy pounds is out of the question, of course, but she might come
for less when she sees how small we are. What does 's. hands yrs.' stand
for?"
"I don't know," I said; "I can only think of 'soft hands for years.'"
"I should like her," said Phyllis. "Their hands are the one thing against
Generals. She must be a nice girl to take such care of them. Think how
careful she'd be with the china. What's 'trd.'?"
"I'm afraid it must mean tired," I said.
"Oh, she'd soon get rested here," said Phyllis; "I don't think that need be
against her. She's probably been in a hard place lately. Are there any
more?"
"Plenty," I said. "How does this one strike you?--'General. no bacon.
possess. 2 rms. £45 wky. s.a.v.'"
"I like that one," said Phyllis. "She must be an awfully unselfish girl to
go without bacon. I don't see how we are going to spare two rooms, though,
unless she's willing to count the kitchen as one. Forty-five pounds a week
must be a printer's error. But we can easily afford forty-five pounds a
year."
"It may mean that she's 'weakly,'" I suggested.
"That wouldn't matter much," said Phyllis; "and I like her the better for
being honest about it."
"'Wky.' _might_ stand for 'whisky,'" I hinted darkly.
Phyllis blanched. "Then she's no good," she said; "I simply couldn't stand
one that drinks. What's the next one like?"