Once more America "takes the cake" for grotesque absurdity. Mr. JAMES
PAYN tells us the teetotal folks there are shocked at the idea of
christening ships with champagne! Well, perhaps it _is_ a waste of good
liquor. "The rosy" in any form must surely be as completely "thrown
away" on the hull of an ironclad as titillation on a turtle's back or
(as SIDNEY SMITH put it) the dome of St. Paul's. The total abstainer, it
seems, "on the occasion of baptising a new liner," sent the President
(who was to perform the ceremony) "a bottle of water as a substitute."
The Irishman supplied with whiskey to clean windows with drank the
liquor and _breathed on the glass!_ Perhaps the President may see his
way to taking a leaf out of PADDY'S book. Let him drink the fizz (if it
is good enough) and "blow the water-drinkers!" Foolish fanatics! They
surely forget that for every bottle of "the boy" bestowed on an
insensible, unappreciative ship, there is one less left to "gladden the
heart of man."
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