(α) When is a door not a negress?
(β) What is the difference between hearing recitation and being bored?
(γ) Why is HALL CAINE like a tenpenny nail?
_Any_ replies to the above will be most thankfully received, and paid
for at our usual rates.
4.
"There was a very foolish, fond old man,
Fourscore and upward, dwelling at Liskeard,
Who said, I am not in my perfect mind;
It is just as I feared, in very sooth,
For, to deal plainly, four larks and a hen,
Two hooting owls, and one small wren to boot,
Did each one lodge last night within my beard."
_King Lear_, Act IV., Sc. 6.
Hence show, by internal evidence, that EDWARD LEAR wrote BAKESPEARE.
5. State the various questions to the following answer:--"Because
there's a 'b' in both."
6. Give the meaning, if any, to the subjoined flowers of speech:--_cheese
your patter_, _perform the negative_, _a runcible cat_, _cow-chilo_, _do
a drag_, _a pale paradox_, _going tommy-dodd_, _dead-lurk a crib_, _the
hush of the corn_, _ferjunt rarm_, _the mome-raths outgrabe_, and
_filling up the cup_.
7. Trace the origin of the following legends:--(_a_) The old lady who
travelled twice round the Inner Circle Railway against her wish; (_b_)
The conversation between TOOLE and St. Peter about HENRY IRVING; (_c_)
The leading journalist whose nose cost him £8,000 to colour; and mention
any other chestnuts you may know of.
8. Compose a leader in the _Times_ style on Ballet-girls and their
Little Ways; in _D. T._ phraseology on Quaternions; _à la Pink 'Un_ on
the Delights of Sunday School; and in the best _Guardian_ manner in
Defence of Prize-fighting.
9. Write down all you don't know about any mortal subject you are most
ignorant of, provided it has nothing to do with the English language and
literature.
***
"In spite of all temptation," MARCUS WARD & CO. remain true Englishmen,
and have had their dainty Christmas cards, and other delightful
novelties, "not printed in Germany." The support of the loyal British
shopper should be their _re-Ward_. But C. W. FAULKNER & CO. evidently
think that a foreign name is more attractive, and have christened their
new table-game "Malletino." It hardly requires a deep knowledge of
Italian to discover that it is played with mallets, and is amusing.
Their cards and calendars are quite "up to date"--at least the latter
will be next year.
***
EXCEPTION.--Pleasant Christmas Bills: Bills of Fare.
* * * * *