"I'm not an agent," he said, trying to smile. "I'm the new--"

"Yes, I know you--you are the new man with the patent flat-iron, but

we don't want any, and you'd better go before I call the dog."

"Will you give the lady my card, and say that I called?"

"No, I won't; we are bored to death with cards and handbills and

circulars. Come, I can't stand here all day."

"Didn't you know that I was a minister?" he asked as he backed off.

"No, nor I don't know it now; you look like the man who sold the woman

next door a dollar chromo for eighteen shillings."

"But here is my card."

"I don't care for cards, I tell you! If you leave that gate open I

will have to fling a flower-pot at you!"

"I will call again," he said, as he went through the gate.

"It won't do any good!" she shouted after him; "we don't want no

prepared food for infants--no piano music--no stuffed birds! I know

the policemen on this beat, and if you come around here again, he'll

soon find out whether you are a confidence man or a vagrant!"

And she took unusual care to lock the door.

THE BELL OF THE "ATLANTIC."

MRS. SIGOURNEY.

Toll, toll, toll!

Thou bell by billows swung,

And, night and day, thy warning words

Repeat with mournful tongue!

Toll for the queenly boat,

Wrecked on yon rocky-shore!

Sea-weed is in her palace halls--

She rides the surge no more.

Toll for the master bold,

The high-souled and the brave,

Who ruled her like a thing of life

Amid the crested wave!

Toll for the hardy crew,

Sons of the storm and blast,

Who long the tyrant ocean dared;

But it vanquished them at last.

Toll for the man of God,

Whose hallowed voice of prayer

Rose calm above the stifled groan

Of that intense despair!

How precious were those tones,

On that sad verge of life,

Amid the fierce and freezing storm,

And the mountain billows strife!

Toll for the lover, lost

To the summoned bridal train

Bright glows a picture on his breast,

Beneath th' unfathomed main.

One from her casement gazeth

Long o'er the misty sea:

He cometh not, pale maiden--

His heart is cold to thee?

Toll for the absent sire,

Who to his home drew near,

To bless a glad, expecting group--

Fond wife, and children dear!

They heap the blazing hearth,

The festal board is spread,

But a fearful guest is at the gate:--

Room for the sheeted dead!

Toll for the loved and fair,

The whelmed beneath the tide--

The broken harps around whose strings

The dull sea-monsters glide!

Mother and nursling sweet,

Reft from the household throng;

There's bitter weeping in the nest

Where breathed their soul of song.

Toll for the hearts that bleed

'Neath misery's furrowing trace;

Toll for the hapless orphan left,

The last of all his race!

Yea, with thy heaviest knell,

From surge to rocky shore,

Toll for the living--not the dead,

Whose mortal woes are o'er.

Toll, toll, toll!

O'er breeze and billow free;

And with thy startling lore instruct

Each rover of the sea.

Tell how o'er proudest joys

May swift destruction sweep,

And bid him build his hopes on high--

Lone teacher of the deep!

THE OWL--A SMALL BOY'S COMPOSITION.

ANON.

Wen you come to see a owl cloce it has offle big eyes, and wen you

come to feel it with your fingers, wich it bites, you fine it is

mosely fethers, with only jus meat enuf to hole 'em to gether.

Once they was a man thot he would like a owl for a pet, so he tole a

bird man to send him the bes one in the shop, but wen it was brot he

lookt at it and squeezed it, and it diddent sute. So the man he rote

to the bird man and said Ile keep the owl you sent, tho it aint like

I wanted, but wen it's wore out you mus make me a other, with littler

eyes, for I spose these eyes is number twelves, but I want number

sixes, and then if I pay you the same price you can aford to put in

more owl.

Owls have got to have big eyes cos tha has to be out a good deal at

nite a doin bisnis with rats and mice, wich keeps late ours. They is

said to be very wise, but my sisters young man he says any boddy coud

be wise if they woud set up nites to take notice.

That feller comes to our house jest like he used to, only more, and

wen I ast him wy he come so much he said he was a man of sience, like

me, and was a studyin arnithogaly, which was birds. I ast him wot

birds he was a studyin, and he said anjils, and wen he said that my

sister she lookt out the winder and said wot a fine day it had turn

out to be. But it was a rainin cats and dogs wen she said it. I never

see such a goose in my life as that girl, but Uncle Ned, wich has been

in ole parts of the worl, he says they is jes that way in Pattygong.

In the picture alphabets the O is some times a owl, and some times

it is a ox, but if I made the picters Ide have it stan for a oggur to

bore holes with. I tole that to ole gaffer Peters once wen he was to

our house lookin at my new book, and he said you is right, Johnny, and

here is this H stan for harp, but hoo cares for a harp, wy don't they

make it stan for a horgan? He is such a ole fool.

THE FLOWERS.

HOWITT.

[In reciting this sweetly beautiful little poem its noble

truths should be uttered with emphatic, but not noisy

elocution. There is sufficient variety in the different

stanzas for the speaker to display much taste and feeling.]

God might have bade the earth bring forth

Enough for great and small,

The oak-tree and the cedar-tree,

Without a flower at all.

We might have had enough, enough

For every want of ours,

For luxury, medicine and toil,

And yet have had no flowers.

The one within the mountain mine

Requireth none to grow;

Nor does it need the lotus-flower

To make the river flow.

The clouds might give abundant rain;

The nightly dews might fall,

And the herb that keepeth life in man

Might yet have drunk them all.

Then wherefore, wherefore were they made,

All dyed with rainbow-light,

All fashioned with supremest grace

Upspringing day and night:--

Springing in valleys green and low,

And on the mountains high,

And in the silent wilderness

Where no man passes by?

Our outward life requires them not--

Then wherefore had they birth?--

To minister delight to man,

To beautify the earth;

To comfort man--to whisper hope,

Whene'er his faith is dim,

For who so careth for the flowers

Will much more care for him!

THE HYPOCHONDRIAC.

Good morning, Doctor; how do you do? I haint quite so well as I have

been; but I think I'm some better than I was. I don't think that last

medicine you gin me did me much good. I had a terrible time with the

ear-ache last night; my wife got up and drapt a few draps of Walnut

sap into it, and that relieved it some; but I didn't get a wink of

sleep till nearly daylight. For nearly a week, Doctor, I've had the

worst kind of a narvous head-ache; it has been so bad sometimes that I

thought my head would bust open. Oh, dear! I sometimes think that I'm

the most afflictedest human that ever lived.

Since this cold weather sot in, that troublesome cough, that I have

had every winter for the last fifteen year, has began to pester me

agin.

(_Coughs._) Doctor, do you think you can give me anything that will

relieve this desprit pain I have in my side?

Then I have a crick, at times, in the back of my neck so that I can't

turn my head without turning the hull of my body. (_Coughs._)

Oh, dear! What shall I do! I have consulted almost every doctor in the

country, but they don't any of them seem to understand my case. I have

tried everything that I could think of; but I can't find anything that

does me the leastest good. (_Coughs._)

Oh this cough--it will be the death of me yet! You know I had my right

hip put out last fall at the rising of Deacon Jones' saw mill;

its getting to be very troublesome just before we have a change of

weather. Then I've got the sciatica in my right knee, and sometimes

I'm so crippled up that I can hardly crawl round in any fashion.

What do you think that old white mare of ours did while I was out

plowing last week? Why, the weacked old critter, she kept a backing

and backing, on till she back'd me right up agin the colter, and

knock'd a piece of skin off my shin nearly so big. (_Coughs._)

But I had a worse misfortune than that the other day, Doctor. You see

it was washing-day--and my wife wanted me to go out and bring in a

little stove-wood--you know we lost our help lately, and my wife has

to wash and tend to everything about the house herself.

I knew it wouldn't be safe for me to go out--as it was a raining at

the time--but I thought I'd risk it any how. So I went out, pick'd

up a few chunks of stove-wood, and was a coming up the steps into the

house, when my feet slipp'd from under me, and I fell down as sudden

as if I'd been shot. Some of the wood lit upon my face, broke down the

bridge of my nose, cut my upper lip, and knock'd out three of my front

teeth. I suffered dreadfully on account of it, as you may suppose, and

my face ain't well enough yet to make me fit to be seen, specially

by the women folks. (_Coughs._) Oh, dear! but that ain't all, Doctor,

I've got fifteen corns on my toes--and I'm afeard I'm a going to have

the "yallar janders." (_Coughs._)

THE GRAVES OF A HOUSEHOLD.

BYRON.

[This sweetly mournful refrain, should be delivered with sad

earnestness; as though the speaker was describing the fate of

his own family.]

They grew in beauty side by side,

They filled our home with glee;

Their graves are severed, far and wide,

By mount, and stream, and sea.

The same fond mother bent at night

O'er each fair sleeping brow;

She had each folded flower in sight,

Where are those dreamers now?

One, 'midst the forests of the West,

By a dark stream is laid,--

The Indian knows his place of rest,

Far in the cedar shade.

The sea, the blue lone sea, hath one,

He lies where pearls lie deep;

He was the loved of all, but none

O'er his low bed may weep.

One sleeps where southern vines are drest

Above the noble slain:

He wrapt his colours round his breast,

On a blood-red field of Spain.

And one--o'er her the myrtle showers

Its leaves, by soft winds fanned;

She faded 'midst Italian flowers,--

The last of that bright band.

And parted thus they rest, who played

Beneath the same green tree;

Whose voices mingled as they prayed

Around one parent knee!

They that with smiles lit up the hall,

And cheered with song the hearth,--

Alas! for love, if thou wert all,

And nought beyond, oh, earth!

PLEDGE WITH WINE.

"Pledge with wine--pledge with wine!" cried the young and thoughtless

Harry Wood. "Pledge with wine," ran through the brilliant crowd.

The beautiful bride grew pale--the decisive hour had come, she pressed

her white hands together, and the leaves of her bridal wreath trembled

on her pure brow; her breath came quicker, her heart beat wilder.

"Yes, Marion, lay aside your scruples for this once," said the Judge,

in a low tone, going towards his daughter; "the company expect it, do

not so seriously infringe upon the rules of etiquette;--in your own

house act as you please; but in mine, for this once please me."

Every eye was turned towards the bridal pair. Marion's principles were

well known. Henry had been a convivialist, but of late his friends

noticed the change in his manners, the difference in his habits--and

to-night they watched him to see, as they sneeringly said, if he was

tied down to a woman's opinion so soon.

Pouring a brimming beaker, they held it with tempting smiles toward

Marion. She was very pale, though more composed, and her hand shook

not, as smiling back, she gratefully accepted the crystal tempter and

raised it to her lips. But scarcely had she done so when every hand

was arrested by her piercing exclamation of "Oh, how terrible!" "What

is it?" cried one and all, thronging together, for she had slowly

carried the glass at arm's length, and was fixedly regarding it as

though it were some hideous object.

"Wait," she answered, while an inspired light shone from her dark

eyes, "wait and I will tell you. I see," she added, slowly pointing

one jewelled finger at the sparkling ruby liquid, "A sight that

beggars all description; and yet listen; I will paint it for you if I

can: It is a lonely spot; tall mountains, crowned with verdure, rise

in awful sublimity around; a river runs through, and bright flowers

grow to the waters' edge. There is a thick, warm mist that the sun

seeks vainly to pierce; trees, lofty and beautiful, wave to the airy

motion of the birds; but there, a group of Indians gather; they flit

to and fro with something like sorrow upon their dark brow; and in

their midst lies a manly form, but his cheek, how deathly; his eye

wild with the fitful fire of fever. One friend stands beside him,

nay, I should say kneels, for he is pillowing that poor head upon his

breast.

"Genius in ruins. Oh! the high, holy looking brow! Why should death

mark it, and he so young? Look how he throws the damp curls! see him

clasp his hands! hear his thrilling shrieks for life! mark how he

clutches at the form of his companion, imploring to be saved. Oh!

hear him call piteously his father's name; see him twine his fingers,

together as he shrieks for his sister--his only sister--the twin of

his soul--weeping for him in his distant native land.

"See!" she exclaimed, while the bridal party shrank back, the

untasted wine trembling in their faltering grasp, and the Judge fell,

overpowered, upon his seat; "see! his arms are lifted to heaven; he

prays, how wildly, for mercy! hot fever rushes through his veins. The

friend beside him is weeping; awe-stricken, the men move silently, and

leave the living and dying together."

There was a hush in that princely parlor, broken only by what seemed

a smothered sob, from some manly bosom. The bride stood yet upright,

with quivering lip, and tears stealing to the outward edge of her

lashes. Her beautiful arm had lost its tension, and the glass, with

its little troubled red waves, came slowly towards the range of her

vision. She spoke again; every lip was mute. Her voice was low, faint,

yet awfully distinct: she still fixed her sorrowful glance upon the

wine-cup.

"It is evening now; the great white moon is coming up, and her beams

lay gently on his forehead. He moves not; his eyes are set in their

sockets; dim are their piercing glances; in vain his friend whispers

the name of father and sister--death is there. Death! and no soft

hand, no gentle voice to bless and soothe him. His head sinks back!

one convulsive shudder! he is dead!"

A groan ran through the assembly, so vivid was her description, so

unearthly her look, so inspired her manner, that what she described

seemed actually to have taken place then and there. They noticed also,

that the bridegroom hid his face in his hands and was weeping.

"Dead!" she repeated again, her lips quivering faster and faster, and

her voice more and more broken; "and there they scoop him a grave; and

there without a shroud, they lay him down in the damp reeking earth.

The only son of a proud father, the only idolized brother of a fond

sister. And he sleeps to-day in that distant country, with no stone to

mark the spot. There he lies--my father's son--my own twin brother!

a victim to this deadly poison. Father," she exclaimed, turning

suddenly, while the tears rained down her beautiful cheeks, "father,

shall I drink it now?"

The form of the old Judge was convulsed with agony. He raised his

head, but in a smothered voice he faltered--"No, no, my child, in

God's name, no."

She lifted the glittering goblet, and letting it suddenly fall to the

floor it was dashed into a thousand pieces. Many a tearful eye watched

her movements, and instantaneously every wine-glass was transferred to

the marble table on which it had been prepared. Then, as she looked at

the fragments of crystal, she turned to the company, saying:--"Let no

friend, hereafter, who loves me, tempt me to peril my soul for wine.

Not firmer the everlasting hills than my resolve, God helping me,

never to touch or taste that terrible poison. And he to whom I have

given my hand; who watched over my brother's dying form in that last

solemn hour, and buried the dear wanderer there by the river in that

land of gold, will, I trust, sustain me in that resolve. Will you not,

my husband?"

His glistening eyes, his sad, sweet smile was her answer.

The Judge left the room, and when an hour later he returned, and with

a more subdued manner took part in the entertainment of the bridal

guests, no one could fail to read that he, too, had determined to dash

the enemy at once and forever from his princely rooms.

Those who were present at that wedding, can never forget the

impression so solemnly made. Many from that hour forswore the social

glass.

[Illustration]

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Transcriber's Note:

Obvious punctuation erors have been repaired.

There are a few pieces which contain some dialect. All dialect, period

spelling, etc., has been preserved.

Typographical errors have been corrected.

Errata:

p. 15: one instance of 'Snider' corrected to 'Snyder' for consistency.

p. 36: 'heayy' corrected to 'heavy' - "Poor Patrick toiled beneath his

heavy load."

p. 36: 'hiltop' corrected to 'hilltop' - "A hilltop gained,..."

p. 47: 'tress' corrected to 'trees' - "from the straightest trees;"

p. 74: 'Abl,' corrected to 'Alb' - "_Alb._ Not once, yet."

p. 101: 'too' corrected to 'to' - "darting restlessly to and fro,"

p. 103: 'beautitul' corrected to 'beautiful' - "This beautiful poem

should be recited"

p. 111: 'hugh' corrected to 'huge' - "his huge bulk and strength"

p. 125: 'Peace's' corrected to 'Pease's' - "JUNO, Miss Pease's

coloured help."

p. 126: 'Bres' corrected to 'Bress' - "_Juno._ Bress my soul!"

p. 141: 'it's' corrected to 'its' - "along with its good-will and

friendliness;"

p. 155: 'quite' corrected to 'quiet' - "A little meek-faced, quiet

village child,"

The Universal Reciter 81 Choice Pieces of Rare Poetical Gems · 第 14 / 14 段