HOW UNCLE MO AND HIS FRIEND COULD NOT GET MUCH ENCOURAGEMENT.
DOLLY'S ATTITUDE. ACHILLES AND THE TORTOISE, AND DOLLY'S PUDDING.
HOW UNCLE MO'S SPIRITS WENT DOWN INTO HIS BOOTS. HOW PETER JACKSON
THE FIREMAN INTERVIEWED MICHAEL RAGSTROAR, UPSIDE DOWN, AND BROUGHT
AUNT M'RIAR'S HEART INTO HER MOUTH. HOW DAVE CAME HOME IN A CAB,
AND MICHAEL RAGSTROAR GOT A RIDE FOR NOTHING. OF SISTER NORA, WHO
GOT ON THE COURT'S VISITING LIST BEFORE IT CAME OUT THAT SHE WAS
MIXED UP WITH ARISTOCRATS
The present writer, half a century since--he was then neither _we_ nor a
writer--trod upon a tiny sapling in the garden of the house then
occupied by his kith and kin. It was broken off an inch from the ground,
and he distinctly remembers living a disgraced life thereafter because
of the beautiful tree that sapling might have become but for his
inconsiderate awkwardness. If the censorious spirit that he aroused
could have foreseen the tree that was to grow from the forgotten
residuum of the accident, the root that it left in the ground, it would
not perhaps have passed such a sweeping judgment. Any chance wayfarer in
St. John's Wood may see that tree now--from the end of the street, for
that matter.
So perhaps the old prizefighter might have mustered more hope in
response to Aunt M'riar's plucky rally against despair. The tiny, white,
motionless figure on the bed in the accident ward, that had uttered no
sound since he saw it on first arriving at the Hospital, might have been
destined to become that of a young engineer on a Dreadnought, or an
unfledged dragoon, for any authenticated standard of Impossibility.
The House-Surgeon and his Senior, one of the heads of the
Institution,--interviewed by Uncle Moses and Aunt M'riar when they came
late by special permission and appointment, hoping to hear the child's
voice once more, and found him still insensible and white--testified
that the action of the heart was good. The little man had no intention
of dying if he could live. But both his medical attendants knew that the
tremulous inquiry whether there was any hope of a recovery--within a
reasonable time understood, of course--was really a petition for a
favourable verdict at any cost. And they could not give one, for all
they would have been glad to do so. They have to damn so many hopes in a
day's work, these Accident Warders!
"It's no use asking us," said they, somehow conjointly. "There's not a
surgeon in all England that could tell you whether it will be life or
death. _We_ can only say the patient is making a good fight for it."
They seemed very much interested in the case, though, and in the queer
old broken-hearted giant that sobbed over the half-killed baby that
could not hear nor answer, speak to it as he might.
"What did you say your name was?" said the Senior Surgeon to Uncle
Moses.
"Moses Wardle of Hanley, called the Linnet. Ye see, I was a Member of
the Prize Ring, many years. Fighting Man, you might say."
"I had an idea I knew the name, too. When I was a youngster thirty odd
years ago I took an interest in that sort of thing. You fought Bob
Brettle, and the umpires couldn't agree."
"That was it, master. Well, I had many a turn up--turn up and turn down,
either way as might be. But I had a good name. I never sold a backer. I
did my best by them that put their money on me." For the moneychanger,
the wagermonger, creeps in and degrades the noble science of damaging
one's fellow-man effectively; even as in old years he brought discredit
on cock-fighting, in which at least--you cannot deny it--the bird cuts a
better figure than he does in his native farmyard.
"Come round after twelve to-morrow, and we may know more," said the
House-Surgeon. "It's not regular--but ask for me." And then the older
Surgeon shook Uncle Moses by the hand, quite respectful-like--so Mr.
Jerry said to Aunt M'riar later--and the two went back, sad and
discouraged, to Sapps Court.
What made it all harder to bear was the difficulty of dealing with
Dolly. Dolly knew, of course, that Dave had been took to the
Horsetickle--that was the nearest she could get to the word, after
frequent repetitions--and that he was to be made well, humanly speaking,
past a doubt. The little maid had to be content with assurances to this
effect, inserting into the treaty a stipulation as to time.
"Dave's doin' to tum home after dinner," said she, when that meal seemed
near at hand. And Uncle Moses never had the heart to say no.
Then when no Dave had come, and Dolly had wept for him in vain, and a
cloth laid announced supper, Dolly said--moved only by that landmark of
passing time--"Dave _is_ a-doin' to tum home after supper; he _is_
a-doin', Uncle Mo, he _is_ a-doin'!" And what could her aunt and uncle
do but renew the bill, as it were; the promise to pay that could only be
fulfilled by the production of Dave, whole and sound.
She refused food except on condition that an exactly similar helping
should be conveyed to Dave in the Horsetickle. She withdrew the
condition that Uncle Moses and herself should forthwith convey Dave's
share of the repast to him, in consideration of a verbal guarantee that
little girls were not allowed in such Institutions. Why she accepted
this so readily is a mystery. Possibly the common form of instruction to
little girls, dwelling on their exclusion by statute or usage from
advantages enjoyed by little boys, may have had its weight. Little
girls, _exempli gratia_, may not lie on their backs and kick their legs
up. Little boys are at liberty to do so, subject to unimportant
reservations, limiting the area at their disposal for the practice. It
is needless--and might be thought indelicate--to instance the numerous
expressions that no little girl should use under any circumstances,
which are regarded as venial sin in little boys, except of course on
Sunday. Society does not absolutely countenance the practices of
spitting and sniffing in little boys, but it closes its eyes and passes
hypocritically by on the other side of the road; while, on the other
hand, little girls indulging in these vices would either be cast out
into the wilderness, or have to accept the _role_ of penitent Magdalens.
Therefore when Dolly was told that little girls were not allowed in
Hospitals, it may only have presented itself to her as another item in a
code of limitations already familiar.
The adhibition in visible form of a pendant to her own allowance of
pudding or bread-and-milk, to be carried to the Horsetickle by Uncle
Moses on his next visit, had a sedative effect, and she was contented
with it, without insisting on seeing the pledge carried out. Her
imagination was satisfied, as a child's usually is, with any objective
transaction. Moreover, a dexterous manipulation of the position improved
matters. The portion allotted to Dave was removed, ostensibly to keep it
warm for him, but reproduced to do duty as a second helping for Dolly.
Of course, it had to be halved again for Dave's sake, and an ancient
puzzle solved itself in practice. The third halving was not worth
sending to the Hospital. Even so a step too small to take was left for
Achilles when the tortoise had only just started. "Solvitur ambulando,"
said Philosophy, and _a priori_ reasoning took a back place.
Her constant inquiries about the date of Dave's cure and return were an
added and grievous pain to her aunt and uncle. It was easy for the
moment to procrastinate, but how if the time should come for telling her
that Dave would never come back--no, never?
But the time was not to come yet. For a few days Life showed indecision,
and Uncle Mo and Aunt M'riar had a thumping heart apiece each time they
stood by the little, still, white figure on the bed and thought the
breath was surely gone. They were allowed in the ward every day,
contrary to visitor-rule, apparently because of Uncle Mo's professional
eminence in years gone by--an odd reason when one thinks of it! It was
along of that good gentleman, God bless him!--said Aunt M'riar--that
knew Uncle Mo's name in the Ring. In fact, the good gentleman had said
to the House-Surgeon in private converse: "You see, there's no doubt the
old chap ended sixteen rounds with Brettle in a draw, and Jem Mace had a
near touch with Brettle. No, no--we must let him see the case day by
day." So Uncle Mo saw the case each day, and each day went away to
transact such business with Hope as might be practicable. And each day,
on his return, there was a voice heard in Sapps Court, Dolly weeping for
her elder brother, and would not be comforted. "Oo _did_ said oo would
fess Dave back from the Horsetickle, oo know oo did, Uncle Mo"; and
similar reproaches, mixed themselves with her sobs. But for many days
she got no consolation beyond assurance that Dave would come to-morrow,
discharged cured.
Then, one windy morning, a punctual equinoctial gale, gathering up its
energies to keep inoffensive persons awake all night and, if possible,
knock some chimney-stacks down, blew Uncle Mo's pipelight out, and
caused him to make use of an expression. And Aunt M'riar reproved that
expression, saying:--"Not with that blessed boy lying there in the
Hospital should you say such language, Moses, more like profane
swearing, I call it, than a Christian household."
"He's an old Heathen, ma'am, is Moses," said Mr. Alibone, who was
succeeding in lighting his own pipe, in spite of the wind in at the
street door. Because, as we have seen, in this Court--unlike the Courts
of Law or Her Majesty's Court of St. James's--the kitchens opened right
on the street. Not but what, for all that, there was the number where
you would expect, on a shiny boss you could rub clean and give an
appearance. Aunt M'riar said so, and must have known.
Uncle Moses shook his head gravely over his own delinquency, as if he
truly felt it just as much as anybody. But when he got his pipe lighted,
instead of being cheerful and making the most of what the doctor had
said that very day, his spirits went down into his boots, which was a
way they had.
"'Tain't any good to make believe," said he. "Supposin' our boy never
comes back, M'riar!"
"There, now!" said Aunt M'riar. "To hear you talk, Mo, wouldn't anybody
think! And after what Dr. Prime said only this afternoon! I should be
ashamed."
"What was it Dr. Prime said, Mo?" asked Mr. Alibone, quite
cheerful-like. "Tell us again, old man." For you see, Uncle Moses he'd
brought back quite an encouraging report, whatever anyone see fit to
say, when he come back from the Hospital. Dr. Prime was the
House-Surgeon.
"I don't take much account of him," said Uncle Mo. "A well-meanin' man,
but too easy by half. One o' your good-natured beggars. Says a thing to
stuff you up like! For all I could see, my boy was as white as that bit
of trimmin' in your hand, M'riar."
"But won't you tell us what the doctor _said_, Mo?" said Mr. Alibone. "I
haven't above half heard the evening's noose." He'd just come in to put
a little heart into Moses.
"Said the little child had a better colour. But I don't set any store by
that." And then what does Uncle Moses do but reg'lar give away and go
off sobbing like a baby. "Oh, M'riar, M'riar, we shall never have our
boy back--no, never!"
And then Aunt M'riar, who was a good woman if ever Mr. Alibone come
across one--this is what that gentleman could and did tell a friend
after, incorporated verbatim in the text--she up and she says:--"For
shame of yourself, Mo, for to go and forget yourself like that before
Mr. Alibone! I tell you I believe we shall have the boy back in a week,
all along o' what Dr. Prime said." On which, and a further
representation that he would wake Dolly if he went on like that, Uncle
Mo he pulled himself together and smoked quiet. Whereupon Aunt M'riar
dwelt upon the depressing effect a high wind in autumn has on the
spirits, with the singular result referred to above, of their
retractation into their owner's boots, like quicksilver in a thermometer
discouraged by the cold. After which professional experience was allowed
some weight, and calmer counsels prevailed.
About this time an individual in a sort of undress uniform, beginning at
the top in an equivocal Tam-o'-Shanter hat, sauntered into the
_cul-de-sac_ to which Sapps Court was an appendix. He appeared to be
unconcerned in human affairs, and indeed independent of Time, Space, and
Circumstance. He addressed a creature that was hanging upside down on
some railings, apparently by choice.
"What sort of a name does this here archway go by?" said he, without
acute curiosity.
"That's Sappses Court," said the creature, remaining inverted. "Say it
ain't?" He appeared to identify the uniform he was addressing, and
added:--"There ain't a fire down that Court, 'cos I knows and I'm a
telling of yer. You'd best hook it." The uniform hooked nothing. Then,
in spite of the creature--who proved, right-side-up, to be Michael
Ragstroar--shouting after him--"You ain't wanted down that Court!" he
entered it deliberately, whistling a song then popular, whose singer
wished he was with Nancy, he did, he did, in a second floor, with a
small back-door, to live and die with Nancy.
Having identified Sapps, he seemed to know quite well which house he
wanted, for he went straight to the end and knocked at No. 7.
"Sakes alive!" said Aunt M'riar, responsive to the knock. "There's no
fire here."
"I'm off duty," said the fireman briefly. "I've come to tell you about
your young customer at the Hospital."
Aunt M'riar behaved heroically. There was only, to her thinking, one
chance in ten that this strange, inexplicable messenger should have
brought any other news to their house than that of its darling's death;
but that one chance was enough to make her choke back a scream, lest
Uncle Mo should have one moment of needless despair. And else--it shot
across her mind in a second--might not a sudden escape from despair even
be fatal to that weak heart of his? So Aunt M'riar pulled to the door
behind her to say, with an effort:--"Is he dead?" The universe swam
about outside while she stood still, and something hummed in her head.
But through it she heard the fireman say:--"Not he!" as of one endowed
with a great vitality, one who would take a deal of killing. When he
added:--"He's spoke," though she believed her ears certainly, for she
ran back into the kitchen crying out:--"He's spoke, Mo, he's spoke!" she
did it with a misgiving that the only interpretation she could see her
way to _must_ be wrong--was altogether too good to be true.
Uncle Mo fairly shouted with joy, and this time woke Dolly, who thought
it was a calamity, and wept. Fully five minutes of incoherent rejoicing
followed, and then details might be rounded off. The fireman had to
stand by his engine on the night-shift in an hour's time, but he saw his
way to a pipe, and lit it.
"They're always interested to hear the ending-up of things at the
Station," said he, to account for himself and his presence, "and I made
it convenient to call round at the Ward. The party that took the child
from me happened to be there, and knew me again." He, of course--but you
would guess this--was Peter Jackson of Engine 67A. He continued:--"The
party was so obliging as to take me into the Ward to the bedside. And it
was while I was there the little chap began talking. The party asked me
to step in and mention it to you, ma'am, or his uncle, seeing it was in
my road to the Station." Then Peter Jackson seemed to feel his words
needed extenuation or revision. "Not but I would have gone a bit out of
the way, for that matter!" said he.
"'Twouldn't be any use my looking round now, I suppose?" said Uncle Mo.
Because he always was that restless and fidgety.
"Wait till to-morrow, they said, the party and the nurse. By reason the
child might talk a bit and then get some healthy sleep. What he's had
these few days latterly don't seem to count." Thus Peter Jackson, and
Uncle Moses said he had seen the like. And then all three of them made
the place smokier and smokier you could hardly make out across the room.
"Mo's an impatient old cock, you see!" said Mr. Alibone, who seemed to
understand Peter Jackson, and _vice versa_. And Uncle Mo said:--"I
suppose I shall have to mark time." To which the others replied that was
about it.
"Only whatever did the young child say, mister?" said Aunt M'riar; like
a woman's curiosity, to know. But those other two, they was curious
underneath-like; only denied it.
"I couldn't charge my memory for certain, ma'am," said Peter Jackson,
"and might very easy be wrong." He appeared to shrink from the
responsibility of making a report, but all his hearers were agreed that
there was no call to cut things so very fine as all that. A rough
outline would meet the case.
"If it ran to nonsense in a child," said Uncle Mo--"after all, what
odds?" And Aunt M'riar said:--"Meanin' slips through the words
sometimes, and no fault to find." She had not read "Rabbi Ben Ezra," so
this was original.
Peter Jackson endeavoured to charge his memory, or perhaps more
properly, to discharge it. Dave had said first thing when he opened his
eyes:--"The worty will be all over the hedge. Let me go to stop the
worty." Of course, this had been quite unintelligible to his hearers.
However, Mr. Alibone and Uncle Mo were _au fait_ enough of the
engineering scheme that had led to the accident, to supply the
explanation. Dave's responsibility as head engineer had been on his
conscience all through his spell of insensibility, and had been the
earliest roused matter of thought when the light began to break.
Besides, it so chanced that testimony was forthcoming to support this
view and confirm Dave's sanity. Dolly, who had been awakened by the
noise, had heard enough to convey to her small mind that something
pleasant had transpired in relation to Dave. Though young, she had a
certain decision of character. Her behaviour was lawless, but not
unnatural. She climbed out of her wooden crib in Aunt M'riar's bedroom,
and slipping furtively down the stair which led direct to the kitchen,
succeeded in bounding on to the lap of her uncle; from which, once
established, she knew it would be difficult for her aunt to dislodge
her. She crowed with delight at the success of this escapade, and had
the satisfaction of being, as it were, confirmed in her delinquency by
her aunt wrapping a shawl round her. This was partly on the score of the
cold draughts in such a high wind, partly as a measure of public
decency. She was in time to endorse her uncle's explanation of Dave's
speech intelligibly enough, with a due allowance of interpretation.
Closely reported, the substance of her commentary ran as follows--"Dave
tooktited the mud when I fessed him the mud in my flock"--this was
illustrated in a way that threatened to outrage a sensitive propriety,
the speaker's aunt's--"and spooshed up the worty and spooshed up the
worty"--this repetition had great value--"and spooshtited the worty
back, and then there wasn't no more mud ... it was all fessed away in my
flock ... All dorn!--ass, it was--_all_ dorn!"--this was in a minor key,
and thrilled with pathos--"and Dave dode to fess more where the new mud
was, and was took to the Horsetickle and never come back no more ..." At
this point it seemed best to lay stress upon the probable return of
Dave, much to Dolly's satisfaction; though she would have been better
pleased if a date had been fixed.
Our own belief is that Dolly thought the Horsetickle was an institution
for the relief of sufferers from accidents occasioned by horses, and
that no subsequent experience ever entirely dissipated this impression.
The chances are that nine or ten of the small people one sees daily and
thinks of as "the children," are laying up, even at this moment, some
similar fancy that will last a lifetime. But this is neither here nor
there.
What is more to the purpose is that a fortnight later Dave was brought
home in a cab--the only cab that is recorded in History as having ever
deliberately stood at the entrance to Sapps Court, with intent. Cabs may
have stood there in connection with other doorways in the _cul-de-sac_,
but ignoring proudly the archway with the iron post. Dave was carried
down the Court by his uncle with great joy, and Michael Ragstroar seized
the opportunity to tie himself somehow round the axle of the cab's
backwheels, and get driven some distance free of charge.
Dave, as seen by Dolly on his return, was still painfully white, and
could not walk. And Dolly might not come banging and smashing down on
him like a little elephant, because it would hurt him; so she had to be
good. The elephant simile was due to a lady--no doubt well-meaning--who
accompanied Dave from the Hospital, and came more than once to see him
afterwards. But it was taking a good deal on herself to decide what
Dolly ought or ought not to do to Dave.
In those days slumming proper had not set in, and the East End was only
known geographically, except, no doubt, to a few enthusiasts--the sort
that antedates first discovery after the fact, and takes a vicious
pleasure in precursing its successors. But unassuming benefactresses
occurred at intervals whom outsiders knew broadly as Sisters of Charity.
Such a one was this lady, between whom and Aunt M'riar a sympathetic
friendship grew up before the latter discovered that Dave's hospital
friend was an Earl's niece, which not unnaturally made her rather
standoffish for a time. However, a remark of Mr. Alibone's--who seemed
to know--that the lady's uncle was a belted Earl, and no mistake,
palliated the Earldom and abated class prejudice. The Earl naturally
went up in the esteem of the old prizefighter when it transpired that he
was belted. What more could the most exacting ask?
But it was in the days when this lady was only "that party from the
Hospital," that she took root at No. 7, Sapps Court. No. 7 was content
that she should remain nameless; but when she said, in some affair of a
message to be given at the Hospital, that its bearer was to ask for
Sister Nora, it became impossible to ignore the name, although certainly
it was a name that complicated matters. She remained, however, plain
Sister Nora, without suspicion of any doubtful connections, until a
scheme of a daring character took form--nothing less than that Dave
should be taken into the country for change of air.
Uncle Mo was uneasy at the idea of Dave going away. Besides, he had
always cherished the idea that the air of Sapps Court was equal to that
of San Moritz, for instance. Look at what it was only a few years before
Dave's father and mother first moved in, when it was all fields along
the New Road--which has since been absurdly named Euston and Marylebone
Road! Nothing ever come to change the air in Sapps Court that Uncle Mo
knew of. And look at the wallflowers growing out in front the same as
ever!
Uncle Mo, however, was not the man to allow his old-fashioned prejudices
to stand in the way of the patient's convalescence, and an arrangement
was made by Sister Nora that Dave should be taken charge of, for a
while, by an old and trustworthy inhabitant of the Rocestershire village
of which her uncle, the belted Earl, was the feudal lord and master, or
slave and servant, according as you look at it. It was during the
arrangement of this plan that his Earldom leaked out, creating serious
misgivings in the minds of Uncle Mo and Aunt M'riar that they would be
ill-advised if they allowed themselves to get mixed up with that sort of
people.