UNCLE EDWARD. Sh!
ALICE. Sorry!
[Mechanically he has put the rose in the book for a marker, and is
moving away. But now we see--or if we don't see, we hear in the
music--the Man of the World on his way.
The Man of the World. I told you!
[Such a man of the world! But when you can dress in vermilion and
purple and gold and wear the biggest cloak and the largest sword that
ever was and twist your moustache as outrageously as you please, what's
easier than to fascinate such a child as Columbine? She curtseys to him
as he bows to her. She beckons to her husband to join them. But he,
lost now in the landscape, now in his reopened book, waves only a
distant greeting, and will not budge. The Man of the World smiles a
most worldly smile, and soon he and pretty Columbine are strolling
towards the house; she looking down at the flagged walk and the flowers
that border it, he looking down at her, with eyes too greedy to be
kind.
What a pity, isn't it?
[Then the music tells us quite unmistakably that Pantaloon and Clown
are tumbling along.
Listen! Pantaloon and Clown! They are always coming to lunch. Because if
actors like this know there is lunch ...
UNCLE EDWARD. Hush!
[And on they tumble; the Pantaloon and Clown that Children know! Clown
has a basket that he slyly sets down and Pantaloon falls over it, of
course. Gelsomino joins them, willy-nilly; for they fetch him there,
because Clown has a joke to tell.
ALICE. This is the beehive and butterfly-hive story. The music does bees
and butterflies beautifully, doesn't it? And I told you the joke besides,
so it's quite easy to follow. Gelsomino never sees it. He is dull.
[Clown does sigh deeply over Gelsomino's unmoved face. But he tries
again. He takes from his basket the entirely impossible corpse of a
cat. Pantaloon chuckles silently. But Alice laughs out loud.
Oh! I'd forgotten that one. It's one of his very old ones ... but I like
it. He says ... "Somebody's thrown away this perfectly good cat." Gelsomino
doesn't think it a bit funny.
[Gelsomino doesn't. He sniffs and retires disgusted. Clown juggles with
the cat to cheer himself up. Then he flings it recklessly high in air
and you hear it fall (the big drum does this) with a loud plomp in the
road.
Back stroll Columbine and the Man of the World. But she is looking up
at him now, and the music tells us that her heart is beating fast. She
welcomes Clown and Pantaloon with a kiss, one for each. Clown is so funny
when he is kissed. And she makes them known to the Man of the World. Clown
is so funny when he bows. He can't bow all he wants to without knocking
Pantaloon over. Then Columbine has to help pick him up and comfort him and
kiss him again. Then there is the meal to be prepared. Off they run, all
three, and on they bring it, drinkables, eatables, table and chairs.
Only Gelsomino sits aside. The Man of the World goes to him to ask what
book so absorbs him, friendly, faux bonhomme. Gelsomino responds at once.
Books are important. And, as he lifts his up, the rose drops out. The Man
of the World picks it up and--"May he keep such a trifle?" "By all means"
nods Gelsomino, wondering. And Columbine, there with the dish in her hands,
sees it, and--there's very nearly no macaroni for lunch.
But some one else sees it, too--sees it and sees all. This is Harlequin,
who has sprung somehow from behind the trees.
There's Harlequin ... with his wand and his mask. He's watching. Now you
watch.
UNCLE EDWARD. What are you laughing at? The many times you've seen this!
ALICE. I never can help it. This is where Clown tries to steal the
breakfast, and he never remembers that Harlequin's close behind.
[And, indeed, while the others most ostentatiously don't see, Clown and
Pantaloon do steal bread and sausages and beer--and into the basket
they all go. Not the beer; that goes down the neck of Clown. Then
Columbine calls them to breakfast. Harlequin is presented to the
company. Gelsomino has greeted him even more coldly.
He is weary of her relations.
[But, behold, they discover there is no breakfast. Clown discovers it,
and is more amazed and innocent than any. Columbine is in desp
But Harlequin rises and waves his wand and strikes on the table, and
breakfast appears. Clown, in a panic, turns to his basket. But, behold,
that is empty now.
Then they have breakfast. And Clown gets a lot and Pantaloon very little.
Gelsomino hasn't come to the table at all, so Columbine goes to fetch him.
But he isn't hungry, he won't come. And, turning, disappointed, she sees
the Man of the World lifting, not his glass to toast her, but the rose.
Harlequin sees, too. And he rises to wave his wand again. Gelsomino starts
to move away.
He's getting so cross. And he says ... "Do, for Heaven's sake, let me read
in peace." You know!
[But, with a flash of his wand, Harlequin strikes the book.
There! He has magicked the book all empty.
[And, sure enough, we see Gelsomino turn the empty pages in despair. It
is the simplest of tricks. Then Harlequin points to where the Man of
the World woos Columbine with those eyes of his, those greedy eyes. But
Gelsomino will not see.
He's out of temper now, so he pretends he doesn't care.
[Harlequin points to the rose that Gelsomino so lightly let fall. The
Man of the World is pressing it to his lips.
He points to the rose because that's a--that's a...! Oh, what's the word,
Uncle?
UNCLE EDWARD. Symbol.
ALICE. Thank you ... Symbol of Columbine's true wifely love for him. And
what the pointing says is: Are you going to throw that away, too? Don't be
a silly fool!
[The Man of the World is taking his leave. The rose is at her lips now.
And what he says is To-night ... just like that. Only I can't say it. Which
means he'll come back to-night and carry her off and love her ever so. And
he might, what's more, if it wasn't for...! But you'll see.
[Suddenly Gelsomino goes to Columbine and demands the rose,
imperiously, with a gesture not to be denied.
That means he says he's her husband, and can't he have it if he likes? And
she won't give it him now. And she's quite right. I wouldn't either. Nor
would any woman. Look!
[And Columbine has torn the rose in pieces and flung them on the
ground, and flung herself off. And then Gelsomino flings himself down
in self-reproachful despair. But all this flinging shows a lover's
quarrel, and there's life and hope in that. But Alice is young and
stern.
Serve him right! And if it wasn't for Harlequin ....
UNCLE EDWARD. Hush!
[Harlequin has called to Clown and Pantaloon. And, like conspirators,
they stand there and most elaborately they weave a plot. It's a most
difficult plot to follow. It involves a dark night and tiptoes and a
signal given. It involves, too, a cloak and a skirt and a bonnet for
Clown; and this attracts him so much he can attend to little else.
ALICE. Do you guess what's going to happen? Uncle, they've forgotten the
lights. Oh, this is the bit I love.
UNCLE EDWARD. [In a hoarse whisper.] St! George!
[Suddenly on the little stage day becomes night. What had George to do
with it?
[In a hoarse whisper still.] Bring 'em round a bit ... the number two
steels.
[And the moon, obediently turning, floods the little stage. Indeed it
is pretty. Uncle Edward can't contain himself. And he has given it away
anyhow.
Romantic, isn't it? And just the colour moonlight ought to be.
[The music tells us this is real romance. Dark figures are flitting
among the trees. Who are they? Gelsomino, Harlequin, Pantaloon. The Man
of the World, wrapped dramatically in a great black cloak, arrives.
"Arrives" is poor. He approaches. Pantaloon totters down to him. "Wait,
and your love will come." He waits and his love comes, waddling most
amazingly and wrapped in the tablecloth. We are sure it's Clown, and
who wouldn't be? But the Man of the World--for a real Man of the
World--is strangely deceived. He kneels to her adoringly; he rises and
would embrace her passionately.