THE COLONEL OF THE FIRST CYCLE INFANTRY

“You certainly are a tough outfit, colonel--you and your night-hawks

of the First Bikes--and I am not sure you could not have us cavalrymen

going to bed with our boots on, if we were on the other side,” said

Major Ladigo, as he bit at the end of a fresh cigar.

“Yes--bless me--Pedal’s outfit might come into camp on top of yours,

Ladigo, and where would my guns be then? I can’t have my gunners

sitting on their trails all day and all night too,” sighed the big

gunner, from the other end of the tent.

“It was good work,” continued the old brigadier--“here, boy, pass

those glasses--and I have always thought well of the possibilities of

that machine in a certain sort of military operations. I don’t think

you can chase Apaches with it--in fact, the only way to chase Apaches

is to agree to pay about $500 a head for them; and, also, I don’t

think, Colonel Pedal--with all due respect for your enthusiasm--that

you could ever become of all-absorbing interest in great operations

between organized armies, but I do not want to commit myself since you

seem to accomplish such feats in these days. If we had not had a

really progressive man at the head of the army you would not have had

this opportunity; but now, Pedal, all these fellows want to hear about

your outfit, and especially how you conducted that affair at North

Colville--they all want to know--go ahead now--we have plenty of time

to listen,” and Colonel Pedal of the First Bikes twirled his forage

cap in his two hands and grinned pleasantly.

“Well--it was simple enough,” he said.

“Oh yes--it’s simple now, but how did you get at it?” was the remark

of encouragement from somewhere.

“Oh, well, you know, when I had organized and drilled this regiment,

the people up at headquarters used me in a fussy way as orderlies,

messengers, and in light outpost work, until my outfit was scattered

all over this country, and that was not my idea at all. I knew by long

experiment that bicycles were perfectly mobile in any country not

strictly mountainous, and my idea was that I could fight my outfit in

a new way; but fight it, that was my idea--and march it, too. I wanted

a few holes in that flag, and so I used to go up and labor with the

general. I pleaded and begged to be turned loose. So one afternoon the

general sent for me, and I went to headquarters.

“He said that a big band of insurgents were gathering and organizing

up at North Colville, and that he wanted them destroyed or dispersed,

and asked me if I could do it without asking for supports. I knew the

old man had all he could do to open the communications to the west,

and that he was going to give the bikes a try to prove what they were

good for, so I said ‘Yes, sir,’ right away, though I did not know the

situation thoroughly; but I wanted a job of that sort, and I was in

for it. So he gave me orders to that effect, and after some inquiries

I left him. Through spies he knew of this condition, and that all the

communications were cut except the marine cable, which he laid in the

bed of the Kaween River to Northport, and that was thirty miles from

North Colville. I knew that all those upper counties were in a state

of insurgency, and my orders were to destroy the rendezvous at North

Colville and to then retreat; so my chief concern was to get through

the country without being stopped or engaged seriously by intervening

bodies of the enemy which I might encounter, and says I to myself,

says I, ‘Old man, show ’em what bikes are good for.’ Pardon me if I

become enthusiastic. I started down to my command, fell in my men,

with two days’ rations and one hundred and fifty rounds. I made my

inspection, for, of course, you know, bike soldiers have a very

complicated equipment; what with bombs, telegraphic apparatus, tools,

and the extra parts of wheels, one must look well to his inspection.

They have the Rice equipment--combined cartridge-belts and

garment--which enables them to carry almost anything on the

shoulder-belt. At five o’clock we pulled out, and at dark found

ourselves at our extreme outposts, as I had calculated. I did not want

the enemy to see me, as I was afraid of the telegraph, but as I

proceeded I tapped the wires and cut them again and again. In fact, I

cut wires all night, for fear that they might not have been destroyed,

or that they might have been repaired. I ran smoothly through little

hamlets, and knew that I could not be overtaken. I made a slight

detour around villages of any size, such as Wooddale, Rockville, and

Freeport, for fear that the insurgents might be in force enough to

detain me. Back of Wellsville I got awfully tangled up in a woods,

and, in short, was lost; but I jumped an old cit. out of his cosey

bed, put a .45 on the cabin of his intellect, a flash-lantern in his

two eyes, and he looked sufficiently honest and intelligent to show us

the road, which he did, and we were not detained long.

“I felt fear of Emmittstowne, as I had information that the insurgents

were in force there. We picked up a man on the road who seemed to be

one of our sympathizers, and he informed us that there were pickets

all along the road which we were travelling, and also mounted

patrols. He said that there were a terrible lot of insurgents in

Emmittstowne, but mostly drunk.

[Illustration: OFFICER AND MEN--FIRST CYCLE INFANTRY]

“Captain Bidewell, who was in command of the advance, did a rather

clever piece of work here. He suspected that he would find a picket at

a certain place, and sent a dismounted squad on either side of the

road, which was bounded by meadow land with stone-walls, brush, and

trees on either side, and he himself walked down the road with two

men. They talked loudly, as though drunk, and sure enough, were

shortly held up by the picket. They surrendered and expostulated in a

loud voice, and offered their captors a bottle of whiskey. The advance

closed in on them and even got in their rear, and, of course, held up

the picket without a shot. A six-shooter argument used on these people

shortly disclosed the conditions, and we advanced.”

“Say, colonel, I know that Bidewell; he is organizing a bike regiment

out West now--met him as I came through,” interpolated a medical

major.

“Yes--nice fellow--held the ten-mile record for two years before this

trouble,” replied Pedal; “but, as I was saying--

“Here is _How!_ gentlemen!

“Well, to continue--to show you a curious phase of bicycling--my

advance ran a picket farther along the road and were fired on, but,

bless me, they had gone through so quickly and silently that they were

not hurt, and the sergeant, who was very wise, dismounted and blew his

whistle for us to advance. Bidewell dismounted and immediately

advanced, and the picket, hearing his men smashing brush, retreated,

and the sergeant turned a pistol loose in their faces and bellowed for

them to go out in the road, throw up their hands, and surrender, which

they did. You see, Colonel Ladigo, it is very hard to estimate bike

forces in the night, they go so silently--they simply flit; and when

you first notice them you wonder how many have gone before. A sleepy

picket is waked up by a lot of bellowing and shots and smashing of

brush, and he doesn’t know anything, especially if the row is half in

his rear. Well, the shooting must have aroused the village of

Emmittstowne, and I made up my mind to run right into the town. The

moon was rising, and we could see fairly well; but first I tried a

little ruse with the captured picket. We advanced down the road a

piece, and the men ensconced themselves in the brush, while one of the

captured men stood in the middle of the road. We heard quite a party

coming up the road rapidly, and the picket called out to them that it

was nothing--that they had fired at some shadows, and that they might

go back. Two men actually advanced to him, but he insisted that all

was right, and that they might return; in fact, he protested too much,

since he knew that he was lying for his life, and that the date of his

demise was fixed at the instant he told the truth. We gave the town

half an hour to settle down, and then started on a down

grade--coasting silently. All was still. There were lights in a few

saloons, and a half-dozen men, who were immediately held up and

disarmed. There was evidence of a great many people in the village,

since wagons and horses stood about, and tents and huts were

everywhere except on the main street. I stopped in front of the hotel,

and, do you know, my column got three-quarters of the way through the

town before we were discovered. My column is three-quarters of a mile

long, you must remember, and that was very fortunate. Some one fired a

shot from a darkened window of the hotel, and I ordered my men to use

their revolvers. A man can shoot a revolver with great accuracy from

a wheel, as it glides so smoothly. Well, there was a deuce of a

popping, and it must have fairly riddled the town. The fire was

shortly returned, but in a desultory way which did not seem to do any

damage, and shortly the tail of the column passed down the street. I

had set the hotel on fire before we left, and I really do not think

that those fellows know what really happened there yet. I immediately

cut the telegraph line, and now had nothing to interfere with my march

to North Colville. I had two bikes ruined by shots, and abandoned the

riders; but they made their way to our lines later. As we proceeded

the country grew more flat, and we made the pedals spin; at times we

overtook night prowlers--tramps, for the most part--and one rather

large party of drunken insurgents, all of whom we disarmed and left

tied to trees and fences along the road. Do you know, Ladigo, that one

cannot hear my whole regiment on a road until it is right on top of

you. I have frequently seen men ride a bicycle right up beside a man,

who never heard a word until ordered to throw up his hands.”

“Oh yes, Pedal, I’d like to catch your outfit at the foot of a long

hill; I would fire yellow-legs into you in a way you would despise,”

interpolated the impetuous cavalryman, as he blew smoke at the

ridge-pole and slapped his one leg over the other in a satisfied way.

“Yes, you might, Ladigo; but I’m going to spend my life trying not to

let you catch me at the foot of a long hill, and if you do, you will

find about one hundred bicycles piled up in the road, and it makes bad

travelling for horses, especially with unshaken infantry pointing at

you from behind. Well, in this case, Ladigo, I did not have any of

your enterprising yellow-legs to bother me. As I was saying, we went

along swimmingly until we struck Cat-tail Creek, and found the bridge

burned. It was rather chilly, but I knew there was no help for it, so

we got out our air-cushions and did our little swimming drill right

there.”

“What are your air-cushions?” inquired the medical officer with the

long pipe.

“They are made of rubber, and blow up, and will sustain five

equipments, and weigh fourteen pounds. Every five men have one,”

explained Pedal.

“Oh, I see--a quaint scheme!”

“Yes; bikes are perfectly mobile,” continued Pedal, with satisfaction.

“As I was saying--oh yes, we got over the river all right, but--” and

here he glanced apprehensively at Ladigo--“but I forgot to mention

that we lost fifteen bicycles in the passage.”

“Ha-ha! oh yes--there are your dismounted men,” and Colonel Ladigo

beamed.

“I think horses would have stuck in the mud of Cattail Creek, Ladigo;

fact is, horses are not perfectly mobile. I also neglected to mention

that the bicycles were all fished up and joined us later. We halted on

a hill off the road an hour before gray dawn, to wait for the command

to close up and to eat. There are always bikes which break down, and

it takes a little time to repair them; and men will fall and injure

themselves more or less. But within an hour I had my command all up

except five men, having marched nearly seventy miles in eleven hours,

had one engagement, crossed a river. And now, Colonel Ladigo, was that

not good work?”

“Oh yes, Pedal, quite good--quite good; could do it myself, though,”

and the soul of a cavalryman was bound to assert itself.

“Undoubtedly you could, but not next day.” And Pedal lit a cigar,

conscious that he had Ladigo downed, but not finally suppressed.

[Illustration: AMBULANCE CORPS--FIRST CYCLE INFANTRY]

“My men down the road took in a cavalry patrol without a

shot--actually took in a cavalry--”

“Hump--hump!” snorted Ladigo; “cavalry forsooth--a lot of d---- jays

on plough-teams; cavalry, sir--”

“Here--here, Ladigo, come down,” expostulated the assembled officers,

and Ladigo relapsed.

“Well, after a reconnoissance and information from the patrol, I found

that there were over five thousand men rendezvoused there, partly

organized, and armed with all sorts of guns. Old Middle was in

command--you remember Middle, formerly of the Twenty-seventh Infantry,

cashiered at Fort Verde in ’82.”

He was known to the men present, and a few sniffs and the remark that

“he was bad medicine” was all that greeted the memory of Middle.

“From the patrol I found where their camps and lines and outworks to

cover the roads were, and also that it was but a quarter of a mile

across a wood-lot to the road which I had intended to retire by, which

ran southeast towards Spearfish and Hallam Junction, so I trundled my

bikes over to it, and laid them in a column formation off the road,

and left them under guard. I formed my command and turned some fellows

out of some rifle-pits, which were designed to protect the road, and

it was growing light. We charged into the town, which had been alarmed

by our fire directed at the men in the pits. The first thing we struck

was a long line of temporary camps, of what was probably a regiment,

which was on the other side of a railroad embankment; but they were in

a panic and offered us no resistance, while we advanced, rapidly

firing, and nearly destroyed them. As we entered the town I took one

battalion and directed it against the car-shops, which were full of

stores and troops: these men we also nearly destroyed; and, having set

fire to the shops, I entered the main part of the town, and as we

advanced I had it also fired. From my right I heard heavy firing, and

knew that the other command had encountered opposition; and turning to

my right I struck a second railroad embankment, swarming behind with

men who were standing off the advance of the other battalion. I

enfiladed them, and they retired precipitously. From the net-work of

railroad embankments farther up the flats north of Colville I could

see masses of men forming. They began firing at me from a great

distance, but we were protected by the railroad fill and did not mind

it; while our sharpshooters, with their arms of longer range, annoyed

the enemy quite a little, and kept up his demoralization. A great many

men had gotten away from the town when I had attacked the car-shops,

and I was in fear lest they might form in my rear under the cover of

the burning town, so I had my wounded removed rapidly to the hill

where my bikes were left, and then retreated rapidly under the cover

of the smoke. The enemy were left so completely in the air that they

advanced slowly, while from the cover of the brush on the upper edge

of a field I held them in play for an hour while my wounded got a good

start. At last they seemed to form, and approached to my right, going

around the smoke of the burning town, and as they outnumbered me four

to one, they would speedily have outflanked me. I began the retreat as

I had intended. I had thirty-eight badly wounded men who had to be

carried in blankets, fifty-six slightly wounded who would be trundled

on bicycles, and had left eighteen dead on the field.”

“I say, colonel, how do you remove wounded men on bicycles?” asked

some one.

“It is simple when you see it, but rather difficult to explain. If you

will come down some day I will be glad to show you a wounded drill,

and then you can see for yourself. By cutting sticks and tying a

blanket or shelter-tent a desperately wounded man can be laid prone

between two bicycles, or if slightly hurt he can be trundled or even

ridden double with a comrade, while one man can move two and even

three bicycles. Oh, I tell you, the bike is a great contrivance once

you come to understand it,” proceeded the Colonel of Cycle Infantry.

“I should like to have fought those fellows a little harder, but I was

sixty miles inside of their lines, and I knew that to prolong the

affair would mean that they would be heavily reinforced, and besides

this was my first expedition. I had already destroyed the bigger half

of the enemy and burned the town, and I did not apprehend a vigorous

pursuit. What to do with my wounded was now on my mind. The country to

the east of North Colville is very broken, wild, and sparsely

inhabited. It had become necessary to abandon my wounded. I selected a

point over twelve miles from our battle-ground, far back from the

unfrequented road, in a very wild spot in the hills, and left every

man not able to travel there, with all our rations and two medical

officers, with ten men as a detail for the camp. My trail of course

continued, and they were never suspected. Coming to the valley of the

Spearfish I halted and slept my command until sundown, and then

started for our lines. On the way I rode into and demoralized a

half-dozen bands of armed insurgents, and struck our lines at five

o’clock in the morning.”

“What became of your wounded up there, colonel?” asked the medical

officer with the long pipe.

“The evening following Captain Barhandle with fifty men started and

made a successful march to their relief, and left two more medical

officers and a lot of medical stores and rations, and came back three

days after. The camp was never discovered, and was relieved when the

general here made his first expedition into Wood County. They had

protected themselves from prowlers by waylaying the roads, and had a

dozen prisoners in camp, together with a half-dozen milch cows. My

bike men are excellent foragers, since they have been so much on

outpost duty.”

“Suppose, Colonel Pedal, you were forced to abandon your bicycles,

what would you do?”

“We had a detachment on a scout the other day who were pressed into

some bad country and had to abandon their machines, which they did by

sinking them in Dead Creek, and the next day we went out and recovered

them. If it is desired to utterly destroy them, it can be done in an

instant by stepping on the wheel and ‘buckling’ it, or if you remove

the chain, it is useless to any one but yourself,” explained the

colonel.

“Now, colonel, do you consider that you can move your men successfully

in a hilly or mountainous country?” inquired Ladigo.

“In all candor, no--not to a good advantage. I can march uphill as

fast as infantry, and go down at limited-express speed; but I really

want a rather flat country with lots of roads. I am not particular as

to the quality of the roads, so there are enough of them. I can move

through snow which has been tracked down by teams; I can fly on the

ice; and when it is muddy there is always an inch or so beside the

road which is not muddy, and that is enough for me. A favorable place

for a bicycle is along a railroad track--going in the centre or at one

side. When suddenly attacked, my men can get out of the road like a

covey of quail, and a bicycle can be trundled across the worst

possible country as fast as a man can travel, for you see all the

weight of the man’s gun and pack are on the wheel, which runs without

any appreciable resistance, and all bike men know how to throw a

bicycle over a fence with ease, and my average march is eighty miles

a day. Ladigo, remember--eighty miles a day. No kind of roads, no

conditions of weather, or anything but superior force can stop my

command for an instant, sir;” and the colonel of cavalry rose and

added, “Colonel Pedal, will you have a drink with me?”

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