CHAPTER XXXIII

THERE IS SOME ONE TO LOVE GRIZEL AT LAST

Corp was sitting on the Monypenny dyke, spitting on a candlestick and

then rubbing it briskly against his orange-colored trousers. The doctor

passing in his gig, both of them streaked, till they blended, with the

mud of Look-about-you road (through which you should drive winking

rapidly all the way), saw him and drew up.

"Well, how is Grizel?" he asked. He had avoided Double Dykes since the

funeral, but vain had been his attempts to turn its little inmate out of

his mind; there she was, against his will, and there, he now admitted to

himself angrily or with a rueful sigh, she seemed likely to remain until

someone gave her a home. It was an almost ludicrous distrust of himself

that kept him away from her; he feared that if he went to Double Dykes

her lonely face would complete his conquest. For oh, he was reluctant to

be got the better of, as he expressed it to himself. Maggy Ann, his

maid, was the ideal woman for a bachelor's house. When she saw him

coming she fled, guiltily concealing the hated duster; when he roared

at her for announcing that dinner was ready, she left him to eat it half

cold; when he spilled matches on the floor and then stepped upon them

and set the rug on fire, she let him tell her that she should be more

careful; she did not carry off his favorite boots to the cobbler because

they were down at heel; she did not fling up her arms in horror and cry

that she had brushed that coat just five minutes ago; nor did she count

the treasured "dottels" on the mantelpiece to discover how many pipes he

had smoked since morning; nor point out that he had stepped over the

door-mat; nor line her shelves with the new _Mentor_; nor give him up

his foot for sitting half the night with patients who could not pay--in

short, he knew the ways of the limmers, and Maggy Ann was a jewel. But

it had taken him a dozen years to bring her to this perfection, and well

he knew that the curse of Eve, as he called the rage for the duster,

slumbered in her rather than was extinguished. With the volcanic Grizel

in the house, Maggy Ann would once more burst into flame, and the

horrified doctor looked to right of him, to left of him, before him and

behind him, and everywhere he seemed to see two new brooms bearing down.

No, the brat, he would not have her; the besom, why did she bother him;

the witches take her, for putting the idea into his head, nailing it

into his head indeed. But nevertheless he was forever urging other

people to adopt her, assuring them that they would find her a treasure,

and even shaking his staff at them when they refused; and he was so

uneasy if he did not hear of her several times a day that he made

Monypenny the way to and from everywhere, so that he might drop into

artful talk with those who had seen her last. Corp, accordingly, was not

surprised at his "How is Grizel?" now, and he answered, between two

spits, "She's fine; she gave me this."

It was one of the Painted Lady's silver candlesticks, and the doctor

asked sharply why Grizel had given it to him.

"She said because she liked me," Corp replied, wonderingly. "She brought

it to my auntie's door soon after I loused, and put it into my hand: ay,

and she had a blue shawl, and she telled me to give it to Gavinia,

because she liked her too."

"What else did she say?"

Corp tried to think. "I said, 'This cows, Grizel, but thank you

kindly,'" he answered, much pleased with his effort of memory, but the

doctor interrupted him rudely. "Nobody wants to hear what you said, you

dottrel; what more did she say?" And thus encouraged Corp remembered

that she had said she hoped he would not forget her. "What for should I

forget her when I see her ilka day?" he asked, and was probably about to

divulge that this was his reply to her, but without waiting for more,

McQueen turned his beast's head and drove to the entrance to the Double

Dykes. Here he alighted and hastened up the path on foot, but before he

reached the house he met Dite Deuchars taking his ease beneath a tree,

and Dite could tell him that Grizel was not at home. "But there's

somebody in Double Dykes," he said, "though I kenna wha could be there

unless it's the ghost of the Painted Lady hersel'. About an hour syne I

saw Grizel come out o' the house, carrying a bundle, but she hadna gone

many yards when she turned round and waved her hand to the east window.

I couldna see wha was at it, but there maun have been somebody, for

first the crittur waved to the window and next she kissed her hand to

it, and syne she went on a bit, and syne she ran back close to the

window and nodded and flung more kisses, and back and forrit she went a

curran times as if she could hardly tear hersel' awa'. 'Wha's that

you're so chief wi'?' I speired when she came by me at last, but she

just said, 'I won't tell you,' in her dour wy, and she hasna come back

yet."

Whom could she have been saying good-by to so demonstratively, and

whither had she gone? With a curiosity that for the moment took the

place of his uneasiness, McQueen proceeded to the house, the door of

which was shut but not locked. Two glances convinced him that there was

no one here, the kitchen was as he had seen it last, except that the

long mirror had been placed on a chair close to the east window. The

doctor went to the outside of the window, and looked in, he could see

nothing but his own reflection in the mirror, and was completely

puzzled. But it was no time, he felt, for standing there scratching his

head, when there was reason to fear that the girl had gone. Gone where?

He saw his selfishness now, in a glaring light, and it fled out of him

pursued by curses.

He stopped at Aaron's door and called for Tommy, but Tommy had left the

house an hour ago. "Gone with her, the sacket; he very likely put her up

to this," the doctor muttered, and the surmise seemed justified when he

heard that Grizel and Tommy had been seen passing the Fens. That they

were running away had never struck those who saw them, and McQueen said

nothing of his suspicions, but off he went in his gig on their track and

ran them down within a mile of Tilliedrum. Grizel scurried on, thinking

it was undoubtedly her father, but in a few minutes the three were

conversing almost amicably, the doctor's first words had been so

"sweet."

Tommy explained that they were out for a walk, but Grizel could not lie,

and in a few passionate sentences she told McQueen the truth. He had

guessed the greater part of it, and while she spoke he looked so sorry

for her, such a sweet change had come over his manner, that she held his

hand.

"But you must go no farther," he told her, "I am to take you back with

me," and that alarmed her. "I won't go back," she said, determinedly,

"he might come."

"There's little fear of his coming," McQueen assured her, gently, "but

if he does come I give you my solemn word that I won't let him take you

away unless you want to go."

Even then she only wavered, but he got her altogether with this: "And

should he come, just think what a piece of your mind you could give him,

with me standing by holding your hand."

"Oh, would you do that?" she asked, brightening.

"I would do a good deal to get the chance," he said.

"I should just love it!" she cried. "I shall come now," and she stepped

light-heartedly into the gig, where the doctor joined her. Tommy, who

had been in the background all this time, was about to jump up beside

them, but McQueen waved him back, saying maliciously, "There's just room

for two, my man, so I won't interfere with your walk."

Tommy, in danger of being left, very hot and stout and sulky, whimpered,

"What have I done to anger you?"

"You were going with her, you blackguard," replied McQueen, not yet in

full possession of the facts, for whether Tommy was or was not going

with her no one can ever know.

"If I was," cried the injured boy, "it wasna because I wanted to go, it

was because it wouldna have been respectable for her to go by hersel'."

The doctor had already started his shalt, but at these astonishing

words he drew up sharply. "Say that again," ha said, as if thinking that

his ears must have deceived him, and Tommy repeated his remark,

wondering at its effect.

"And you tell me that you were going with her," the doctor repeated, "to

make her enterprise more respectable?" and he looked from one to the

other.

"Of course I was," replied Tommy, resenting his surprise at a thing so

obvious; and "That's why I wanted him to come," chimed in Grizel.

Still McQueen's glance wandered from the boy to the girl and from the

girl to the boy. "You are a pair!" he said at last, and he signed in

silence to Tommy to mount the gig. But his manner had alarmed Grizel,

ever watching herself lest she should stray into the ways of bad ones,

and she asked anxiously, "There was nothing wrong in it, was there?"

"No," the doctor answered gravely, laying his hand on hers, "no, it was

just sweet."

* * * * *

What McQueen had to say to her was not for Tommy's ears, and the

conversation was but a makeshift until they reached Thrums, where he

sent the boy home, recommending him to hold his tongue about the

escapade (and Tommy of course saw the advisability of keeping it from

Elspeth); but he took Grizel into his parlor and set her down on the

buffet stool by the fire, where he surveyed her in silence at his

leisure. Then he tried her in his old armchair, then on his sofa; then

he put the _Mentor_ into her hand and told her to hold it as if it were

a duster, then he sent her into the passage, with instructions to open

the door presently and announce "Dinner is ready;" then he told her to

put some coals on the fire; then he told her to sit at the window, first

with an open book in her hand, secondly as if she was busy knitting; and

all these things she did wondering exceedingly, for he gave no

explanation except the incomprehensible one, "I want to see what it

would be like."

She had told him in the gig why she had changed the position of the

mirror at Double Dykes, it was to let "that darling" wave good-by to her

from the window; and now having experimented with her in his parlor he

drew her toward his chair, so that she stood between his knees. And he

asked her if she understood why he had gone to Double Dykes.

"Was it to get me to tell you what were the names in the letter?" she

said, wistfully. "That is what everyone asks me, but I won't tell, no, I

won't;" and she closed her mouth hard.

He, too, would have liked to hear the names, and he sighed, it must be

admitted, at sight of that determined mouth, but he could say

truthfully, "Your refusal to break your promise is one of the things

that I admire in you."

Admire! Grizel could scarce believe that this gift was for her. "You

don't mean that you really like me?" she faltered, but she felt sure all

the time that he did, and she cried, "Oh, but why, oh, how can you!"

"For one reason," he said, "because you are so good."

"Good! Oh! oh! oh!" She clapped her hands joyously.

"And for another--because you are so brave."

"But I am not really brave," she said anxiously, yet resolved to hide

nothing, "I only pretend to be brave, I am often frightened, but I just

don't let on."

That, he told her, is the highest form of bravery, but Grizel was very,

very tired of being brave, and she insisted impetuously, "I don't want

to be brave, I want to be afraid, like other girls."

"Ay, it's your right, you little woman," he answered, tenderly, and then

again he became mysterious. He kicked off his shoes to show her that he

was wearing socks that did not match. "I just pull on the first that

come to hand," he said recklessly.

"Oh!" cried Grizel.

On his dusty book-shelves he wrote, with his finger, "Not dusted since

the year One."

"Oh! oh!" she cried.

He put his fingers through his gray, untidy hair. "That's the only comb

I have that is at hand when I want it," he went on, regardless of her

agony.

"All the stud-holes in my shirts," he said, "are now so frayed and

large that the studs fall out, and I find them in my socks at night."

Oh! oh! he was killing her, he was, but what cared he? "Look at my

clothes," said the cruel man, "I read when I'm eating, and I spill so

much gravy that--that we boil my waistcoat once a month, and make soup

of it!"

To Grizel this was the most tragic picture ever drawn by man, and he saw

that it was time to desist. "And it's all," he said, looking at her

sadly, "it's all because I am a lonely old bachelor with no womankind to

look after him, no little girl to brighten him when he comes home

dog-tired, no one to care whether his socks are in holes and his comb

behind the wash-stand, no soft hand to soothe his brow when it aches, no

one to work for, no one to love, many a one to close the old bachelor's

eyes when he dies, but none to drop a tear for him, no one to--"

"Oh! oh! oh! That is just like me. Oh! oh!" cried Grizel, and he pulled

her closer to him, saying, "The more reason we should join thegither;

Grizel, if you don't take pity on me, and come and bide with me and be

my little housekeeper, the Lord Almighty only knows what is to become of

the old doctor."

At this she broke away from him, and stood far back pressing her arms to

her sides, and she cried, "It is not out of charity you ask me, is it?"

and then she went a little nearer. "You would not say it if it wasn't

true, would you?"

"No, my dawtie, it's true," he told her, and if he had been pitying

himself a little, there was an end of that now.

She remembered something and cried joyously, "And you knew what was in

my blood before you asked me, so I don't need to tell you, do I? And you

are not afraid that I shall corrupt you, are you? And you don't think it

a pity I didn't die when I was a tiny baby, do you? Some people think

so, I heard them say it."

"What would have become of me?" was all he dared answer in words, but he

drew her to him again, and when she asked if it was true, as she had

heard some woman say, that in some matters men were all alike, and did

what that one man had done to her mamma, he could reply solemnly, "No,

it is not true; it's a lie that has done more harm than any war in any

century."

She sat on his knee, telling him many things that had come recently to

her knowledge but were not so new to him. The fall of woman was the

subject, a strange topic for a girl of thirteen and a man of sixty. They

don't become wicked in a moment, he learned; if they are good to begin

with, it takes quite a long time to make them bad. Her mamma was good to

begin with. "I know she was good, because when she thought she was the

girl she used to be, she looked sweet and said lovely things." The way

the men do is this, they put evil thoughts into the woman's head, and

say them often to her, till she gets accustomed to them, and thinks they

cannot be bad when the man she loves likes them, and it is called

corrupting the mind.

"And then a baby comes to them," Grizel said softly, "and it is called a

child of shame. I am a child of shame."

He made no reply, so she looked up, and his face was very old and sad.

"I am sorry too," she whispered, but still he said nothing, and then she

put her fingers on his eyes to discover if they were wet, and they were

wet. And so Grizel knew that there was someone who loved her at last.

The mirror was the only article of value that Grizel took with her to

her new home; everything else was rouped at the door of Double Dykes;

Tommy, who should have been at his books, acting as auctioneer's clerk

for sixpence. There are houses in Thrums where you may still be told who

got the bed and who the rocking-chair, and how Nether Drumgley's wife

dared him to come home without the spinet; but it is not by the sales

that the roup is best remembered. Curiosity took many persons into

Double Dykes that day, and in the room that had never been furnished

they saw a mournful stack of empty brandy bottles, piled there by the

auctioneer who had found them in every corner, beneath the bed, in

presses, in boxes, whither they had been thrust by Grizel's mamma, as

if to conceal their number from herself. The counting of these bottles

was a labor, but it is not even by them that the roup is remembered.

Among them some sacrilegious hands found a bundle of papers with a sad

blue ribbon round them. They were the Painted Lady's love-letters, the

letters she had written to the man. Why or how they had come back to her

no one knew.

Most of them were given to Grizel, but a dozen or more passed without

her leave into the kists of various people, where often since then they

have been consulted by swains in need of a pretty phrase; and Tommy's

school-fellows, the very boys and girls who hooted the Painted Lady,

were in time--so oddly do things turn out--to be among those whom her

letters taught how to woo. Where the kists did not let in the damp or

careless fingers, the paper long remained clean, the ink but little

faded. Some of the letters were creased, as if they had once been much

folded, perhaps for slipping into secret hiding-places, but none of them

bore any address or a date. "To my beloved," was sometimes written on

the cover, and inside he was darling or beloved again. So no one could

have arranged them in the order in which they were written, though there

was a three-cornered one which said it was the first. There was a violet

in it, clinging to the paper as if they were fond of each other, and

Grizel's mamma had written, "The violet is me, hiding in a corner

because I am so happy." The letters were in many moods, playful,

reflective, sad, despairing, arch, but all were written in an ecstasy of

the purest love, and most of them were cheerful, so that you seemed to

see the sun dancing on the paper while she wrote, the same sun that

afterwards showed up her painted cheeks. Why they came back to her no

one ever discovered, any more than how she who slipped the violet into

that three-cornered one and took it out to kiss again and wrote, "It is

my first love-letter, and I love it so much I am reluctant to let it

go," became in a few years the derision of the Double Dykes. Some of

these letters may be in old kists still, but whether that is so or not,

they alone have passed the Painted Lady's memory from one generation to

another, and they have purified it, so that what she was died with her

vile body, and what she might have been lived on, as if it were her true

self.

Sentimental Tommy The Story of His Boyhood · 第 33 / 37 章