[Illustration: A Regular Flesh Worm Greatly Magnified.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A HEALTHY COMPLEXION.]
This is a minute little creature, scientifically called _Demodex
folliculorum_, hardly visible to the naked eye, with comparatively large
fore body, a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy processes that
do duty as legs. No specialized head is visible, although of course there
is a mouth orifice. These creatures live on the sweat glands or pores of
the human face, and owing to the appearance that they give to the infested
pores, they are usually known as "black-heads." It is not at all uncommon
to see an otherwise pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures,
although the insects themselves are nearly transparent white. The black
appearance is really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the
edges of the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the
ordinary way by washing, because the abnormal, hardened secretion of the
gland itself becomes stained. These insects are so lowly organized that it
is almost impossible to satisfactorily deal with them. {113} and they
sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they inhabit.
REMEDY.--Press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and fingers,
and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. Wash every morning
with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot water with a soft
flannel at bedtime.
* * * * *
{114}
Love.
But there's nothing half so sweet in life
As love's young dream.--MOORE.
All love is sweet,
Given or returned. Common as light is love,
And its familiar voice wearies not ever.--SHELLEY.
Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.--SHAKESPEARE.
Let those love now who never loved before,
Let those that always loved now love the more.--PARNELL.
[Illustration: LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM.]
1. LOVE BLENDS YOUNG HEARTS.--Love blends young hearts in blissful unity,
and, for the time, so ignores past ties and affections, as to make willing
separation of the son from his father's house, and the daughter from all
the sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to go out together, and rear
for themselves an altar, around which shall cluster all the cares and
delights, the anxieties and sympathies, of the family relationship; this
love, if pure, unselfish, and discreet, constitutes the chief usefulness
and happiness of human life.
2. WITHOUT LOVE.--Without love there would be no organized households, and,
consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and
respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those
sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic life,
which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the Lord and make glad the
city of Zion. This love is indeed heaven upon earth; but above would not be
heaven without it; where there is not love, there is fear; but, "love
casteth out fear." And yet we naturally do offend what we most love.
3. LOVE IS THE SUN OF LIFE.--Most beautiful in morning and evening, but
warmest and steadiest at noon. It is the sun of the soul. Life without love
is worse than death; a world without a sun. The love which does not lead to
labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness which does not embody itself
in sacrifices is already changing to gratitude. Love is not ripened in one
day, nor in many, nor even in a human lifetime. It is the oneness of soul
with soul in appreciation and perfect trust. To be blessed it must rest in
that faith in the Divine which underlies every other motion. To be true, it
must be eternal as God himself.
4. LOVE IS DEPENDENT.--Remember that love is dependent upon forms; courtesy
of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. How many hearts have
been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and cold looks have been
gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling negligence of forms?
{116}
[Illustration: LOVE MAKING IN THE EARLY COLONIAL DAYS.]
5. RADICAL DIFFERENCES.--Men and women should not be judged by the same
rules. There are many radical differences in their affectional natures. Man
is the creature of interest and ambition. His nature leads him forth into
the struggle and bustle of the world. Love is but the embellishment of his
early life, or a song piped in the intervals of the acts. He seeks for
fame, for fortune, for space in the world's thoughts, and dominion over his
fellow-men. But a woman's whole life is a history of the affections. The
heart is her world; it is there her ambition strives for empire; it is
there her ambition seeks for hidden treasures. She sends forth her
sympathies on adventure; she embarks her whole soul in the traffic of
affection; and if shipwrecked her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of
the heart.
6. WOMAN'S LOVE.--Woman's love is stronger than death; it rises superior to
adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the niggardly selfishness of
the world. Misfortune cannot suppress it; enmity cannot alienate it;
temptation cannot enslave it. It is the guardian angel of the nursery and
the sick bed; it gives an affectionate concord to the partnership of life
and interest, circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to
sweeten existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the
grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. It is the
ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the cradle,
and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of all its
sacred memories.
7. A LADY'S COMPLEXION.--He who loves a lady's complexion, form and
features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. The love
that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies. The love
that is fed with presents always requires feeding. Love, and love only, is
the loan for love. Love is of the nature of a burning glass, which, kept
still in one place, fireth; changed often, it doth nothing. The purest joy
we can experience in one we love, is to see that person a source of
happiness to others. When you are with the person loved, you have no sense
of being bored. This humble and trivial circumstance is the great test--the
only sure and abiding test of love.
8. TWO SOULS COME TOGETHER.--When two souls come together, each seeking to
magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping the other, each
help the other; the two flying together so that each wing-beat of the one
helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls come together thus, they
are lovers. They who unitedly move themselves away from grossness and from
earth, toward the throne of crystaline and the pavement golden, are,
indeed, true lovers.
{118}
[Illustration: CUPID'S CAPTURED VICTIM.]
The Power and Peculiarities of Love.
* * * * *
LOVE IS A TONIC AND A REMEDY FOR DISEASE, MAKES PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER,
CREATES INDUSTRY, ETC.
* * * * *
"All thoughts, all passions, all desires,
Whatever stirs this mortal frame,
Are ministers of Love,
And feed his sacred flame."
1. It is a physological fact long demonstrated that persons possessing a
loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and also live much
longer than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish nature. Persons who
love scenery, love domestic animals, show great attachment for all friends;
love their home dearly and find interest and enchantment in almost
everything have qualities of mind and heart which indicate good health and
a happy disposition.
2. Persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a tune,
are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted and with few
exceptions possess a loving disposition. Very few good musicians become
criminals.
3. Parents that cultivate a love among then children will find that the
same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's disposition.
Sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the lives of the
children. The parent who continually cherishes a feeling of dislike and
rebellion in his soul, cultivating moral hatred against his fellow-man,
will soon find the same things manifested by his son. As the son resembles
his father in looks so he will to a certain extent resemble him in
character. Love in the heart of the parent will beget kindness and
affection in the heart of a child. Continuous scolding and fretting in the
home will soon make love a stranger. {119}
[Illustration: THE TURKISH WAY OF MAKING LOVE]
4. If you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all your feelings and
faculties. Remember that all that is pure, holy and virtuous in love flows
from the deepest fountain of the human soul. Poison the fountain and you
change virtue to vice, and happiness to misery.
5. Love strengthens health, and disappointment cultivates disease. A person
in love will invariably enjoy the best of health. Ninety-nine per cent. of
our strong constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have wrecked
themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love. Nothing but right love and
a right marriage will restore them to health.
6. All men feel much better for going a courting, providing they court
purely. Nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar thoughts
and immoral conduct. The libertine or harlot has changed love, God's purest
gift to man, into lust. They cannot acquire love in its purity again, the
sacred flame has vanished forever. Love is pure, and cannot be found in the
heart of a seducer.
7. A woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in love.
Many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of some deadly
disease and restored to health by falling in love.
8. It is a long established fact that married persons are healthier than
unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness belong to the
home. Health depends upon mind. Love places the mind into a delightful
state and quickens every human function, makes the blood circulate and
weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic love.
[Illustration: PREPARING TO ENTERTAIN HER LOVER.]
9. An old but true proverb: "A true man loving one woman will speak well of
all women. A true woman loving one man will speak well of all men. A good
wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. A good man praises all
women, but praises his wife most."
10. Persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and tender.
It is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do his best until
he has been deeply in love. A good orator, a great statesman or great men
in general are greater and better for having once been thoroughly in love.
A man who truly loves his wife and home is always a safe man to trust.
11. Love makes people look younger in years. People in unhappy homes look
older and more worn and fatigued. A woman at thirty, well courted and well
married, looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the same age
unhappily married. Old maids and bachelors always look older {120} than
they are. A flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid of like
age.
12. Love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband spends
lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards others.
13. Love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. Beauty in walk and
beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out the finest
traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more generous and
forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all about her. She
works better, sings better and is better.
14. Now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance policy;
it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance policy merely
promises to pay after death. Remember that statistics demonstrate that
married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by a goodly number of
years and enjoy healthier and happier lives.
* * * * *
{122}
Amativeness or Connubial Love.
[Illustration: CONFIDENCE.]
1. MULTIPLYING THE RACE.--Some means for multiplying our race is necessary
to prevent its extinction by death. Propagation and death appertain to
man's earthly existence. If the Deity had seen fit to bring every member of
the human family into being by a direct act of creative power, without the
agency of parents, the present wise and benevolent arrangements of husbands
and wives, parents and children, friends and neighbors, would have been
superseded, and all opportunities for exercising parental and connubial
love, in which so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. But the domestic
feelings and relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical
observer as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite
Wisdom and Goodness combined.
2. AMATIVENESS AND ITS COMBINATIONS constitute their origin, counterpart,
and main medium of manifestation. Its primary function is connubial love.
From it, mainly, spring those feelings which exist between the sexes as
such and {123} result in marriage and offspring. Combined with the higher
sentiments, it gives rise to all those reciprocal kind feelings and
nameless courtesies which each sex manifests towards the other; refining
and elevating both, promoting gentility and politeness, and greatly
increasing social and general happiness.
3. RENDERS MEN MORE POLITE TO WOMEN.--So far from being in the least gross
or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, and even an
ingredient in good manners. It is this which renders men always more polite
towards women than to one another, and more refined in their society, and
which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel and tender towards men than
women. It makes mothers love their sons more than their daughters, and
fathers more attached to their daughters. Man's endearing recollections of
his mother or wife form his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and
good deeds, as well as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in
proportion as a young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will
he be fond of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both.
4. ALL SHOULD CULTIVATE THE FACULTY OF AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL
LORE.--Study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the other
sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful movements and
elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the tones and accents of
the voice. Never be gruff if you desire to be winning. Seek and enjoy and
reciprocate fond looks and feelings. Before you can create favorable
impressions you must first be honest and sincere and natural, and your
conquest will be sure and certain.
* * * * *
Love and Common-Sense.
1. Do you love her because she goes to the altar with her head full of book
learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano and brush;
because she has no conception of the duties and responsibilities of a wife;
because she hates housework, hates its everlasting routine and ever
recurring duties; because she hates children and will adopt every means to
evade motherhood; because she loves her ease, loves to have her will
supreme, loves, oh how well, to be free to go and come, to let the days
slip idly by, to be absolved from all responsibility, to live without
labor, without care? Will you love her selfish, shirking, calculating
nature after twenty years of close companionship?
2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how weak
mentally, morally or physically he may {124} be, he has vested in him the
power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? Because you
would rather be Mrs. Nobody, than make the effort to be Miss Somebody?
because you have a great empty place in your head and heart that nothing
but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot live without him? God grant
the time may never come when you cannot live with him.
[Illustration: AN EARNEST CALLER.]
3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for her
tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are absolute
purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her disposition; for
her loving, charitable thought; for her strength of character? because she
is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the sorrowful, capable, self-reliant,
modest, true-hearted? in brief, because she is the embodiment of all
womanly virtues?
4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and
operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women;
because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; because he
has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his lips with an oath;
because mentally he is a man among men; because physically he stands head
and shoulders above the masses; because morally he is far beyond suspicion,
in his thought, word or deed; because his earnest manly consecrated life is
a mighty power on God's side?
5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages until men
learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly matured,
delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care and keeping. That
if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed and overburdened, her
happiness, which is largely dependent upon her health, is destroyed.
6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their heart;
until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks eloquently of clean
thoughts and clean hearts.
7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and modesty in
a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded life will only
strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the purest and holiest of all
things known to humanity, will marriage continue to bring unhappiness and
discontent, instead of that comfort and restful peace which all loyal souls
have a right to expect and enjoy.
8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, and
happiness through life will be your reward.
{126}
[Illustration]
What Women Love in Men.
1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The ideal man
in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally despises a
coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man.
2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately object
to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and few women
would have any respect for a man whom they could completely rule and
control.
3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal of the
forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect his wife
and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in a man which
make him a protector.
4. LARGE MEN.--Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine
physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and weak
man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any love for
him.
5. SMALL AND WEAKLY MEN.--All men would be of good size in frame and flesh,
were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the indiscretion of
parents and ancestors of generations before.
6. YOUTHFUL SEXUAL EXCITEMENT.--There are many children born healthy and
vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs in youth by
self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children will have small
bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. It is therefore not strange
that instinct should lead women to admire men not touched with these
symptoms of physical debility.
7. GENEROSITY.--Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs a
great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, etc., and
ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman receives more
gifts from man than all these combined: she {127} loves a generous giver.
_Generosity and Gallantry_ are the jewels which she most admires. A woman
receiving presents from a man implies that she will pay him back in love,
and the woman who accepts a man's presents, and does not respect him,
commits a wrong which is rarely ever forgiven.
8. INTELLIGENCE.--Above all other qualities in man, woman admires his
intelligence. Intelligence is man's woman-captivating card. This character
in woman is illustrated by an English army officer, as told by O. S.
Fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, summoned to
India, who wrote back to her:
"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and begrimmed
besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed soldier. Yet, I love
you too well to make your life wretched by requiring you to keep your
marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby release you. Find among English
peers one physically more perfect, whom you can love better."
She answered, as all genuine women must answer:
"Your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which maimed
you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to contain the
casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love you all the same,
and long to make you mine forever."
9. SOFT MEN.--All women despise soft and silly men more than all other
defects in their character. Woman never can love a man whose conversation
is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman's appreciation or love should
always endeavor to show his intelligence and manifest an interest in books
and daily papers. He should read books and inform himself so that he can
talk intelligently upon the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant
woman always loves superior intelligence.
10. SEXUAL VIGOR.--Women love sexual vigor in men. This is human nature.
Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, though the mother
may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears strong children, if the
father is physically and sexually vigorous. Consumption is often inherited
from fathers, because they furnish the body, yet more women die with it
because of female obstructions. Hence women love passion in men, because it
endows their offspring with strong functional vigor.
11. PASSIONATE MEN.--The less passion any woman possesses, the more she
prizes a strong passionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if she
married one equally {128} passionless, their children would be poorly
endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes up the
deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and reserved women.
12. HOMELY MEN are admired by women if they are large, strong and vigorous
and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles compared with
the other qualities which man may possess.
13. YOUNG MAN, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young
ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what you
read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not show a
stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. Third, be
sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not agree with
everything that someone else says, or agree with everything that a lady may
say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent discussions and
conversations when there is someone to talk with who has an opinion of his
own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion of his own; she hates a
trifling disposition and admires leadership, original ideas, and looks up
to man as a leader. Women despise all men whom they can manage, overrule,
cow-down and subdue.
14. BE SELF-SUPPORTING.--The young man who gives evidence of thrift is
always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that you
undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a
responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that some
bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires a
certainty.
15. UNIFORMED MEN.--It is a well known fact that women love uniformed men.
The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction and it is said
by good authority that a man in uniform has three more chances to marry
than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, the soldier's
profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for that purpose, and
it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather than the uniform which
he wears. His profession is also that of a protector.
* * * * *
{129}
[Illustration]
KATE SHELLEY
The Heroine of Honey Creek, who July 6, 1881, crept across the
trembling bridge in the darkness of a terrific storm, and
stopped the approaching Passenger Train.
* * * * *
What Men Love in Women.
1. FEMALE BEAUTY.--Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is the
highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no silks or
satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is beautiful in
calico.
2. FALSE BEAUTIFIERS.--Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other
love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain
extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial beauty
is always an imitation, and never can come into competition with the
genuine. No art can successfully imitate nature.
3. TRUE KIND OF BEAUTY.--Facial beauty is only skin-deep. A beautiful form,
a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the strongest
charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face always
outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is that
queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks and good
and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must therefore be
charming as well {130} as beautiful, for a charming girl will never become
a charmless wife.
4. A GOOD FEMALE BODY.--No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's love
like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with an overflow
of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature in man craves
for the strong qualities in women, as the health and life of offspring
depend upon the physical qualities of wife and mother. A good body and
vigorous health, therefore, become indispensable to female beauty.
5. BROAD HIPS.--A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and
significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak
sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony with
the size and breadth of the hips.
6. FULL BUSTS.--In the female beauty of physical development there is
nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good health and
good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a nose, so the female
breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad effect. The female breasts are
the means on which a new-born child depends for its life and growth, hence
it is an essential human instinct for men to admire those physical
proportions in women which indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all
other false forms simply show the value of natural ones. All false forms
are easily detected, because large natural ones will generally quiver and
move at every step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression
of life. As woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and
puffings than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all
objections to their use. A full breast has been man's admiration through
all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct is right or
wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to all, that it is a
great disappointment to a husband and father to see his child brought up on
a bottle. Men love full breasts, because it promotes maternity. If,
however, the breasts are abnormally large, it indicates maternal deficiency
the same as any disproportion or extreme.
7. SMALL FEET.--Small feet and small ankles are very attractive, because
they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire perfection.
Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while large feet and
ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, predominance. Feet
and ankles however must be in harmony with the body, as small feet and
small ankles on a large woman would be out of proportion and consequently
not beautiful. {131}
8. BEAUTIFUL ARMS.--As the arm is always in proportion with the other
portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and small
wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty not inferior
to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms may be proud of
them, because they generally keep company with a fine bust and a fine
figure.
9. INTELLIGENCE.--A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in order to
rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural for man to
chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and practicability
depend upon intelligence. Therefore a man generally loves those charms in
women which prepare her for the duties of companionship. If a woman desires
to be loved, she must cultivate her intellectual gifts, be interesting and
entertaining in society, and practical and helpful in the home, for these
are some of the qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty.
10. PIETY AND RELIGION IN WOMEN.--Men who love home and the companionship
of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is this higher moral
development that naturally leads them to admire women of moral and
religious natures. It is therefore not strange that immoral men love moral
and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires the qualities which tend to
the correct government of the home. Men want good and pure children, and it
is natural to select women who insure domestic contentment and happiness. A
bad man, of course, does not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost
to get one.
11. FALSE APPEARANCE.--Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much more
than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false curls,
false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all that is
false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a poor foundation
on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity and hypocrisy in women
is very much disliked by men, but a frank, honest, conscientious soul is
always lovable and lovely and will not become an old maid, except as a
matter of choice and not of necessity.
[Illustration]
{132}
History of Marriage.
[Illustration]
1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and so
God created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as Divine as the soul.
{133}
2. POLYGAMY.--Polygamy has existed in all ages. It is and always has been
the result of moral degradation and wantonness.
3. THE GARDEN OF EDEN.--The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval nature
knew no community of love; there was only the union of two souls, and the
twain were made one flesh. If God had intended man to be a polygamist he
would have created for him two or more wives; but he only created one wife
for the first man. He also directed Noah to take into the ark two of each
sort--a male and female--another evidence that God believed in pairs only.
4. ABRAHAM no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of
patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage were
national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God.
5. EGYPTIAN HISTORY.--Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form we
have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice.
6. SOLOMON.--It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives,
exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the
natural state of man.
7. CONCUBINAGE AND POLYGAMY continued till the fifth century, when the
degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some concern
and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an instrument of
procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify the passions of
man.
8. THE CHINESE marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, for
from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could have but one
wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he desired.
9. MOHAMMEDANISM.--Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are polygamists.
Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the
voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe and
Africa.
10. MORMONISM.--The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith, practiced
polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally declared and
resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their religious
institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is a part of
their religion; national law alone restrains them.
11. FREE LOVERS.--There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York, an
organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate a system
of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom of love for
{134} any and all. Man offers woman support and love, woman enjoying
freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental competency, gives
herself to man in the boundless sincerity of an unselfish union. In their
system, love is made synonymous with sexuality, and there is no doubt but
what woman is only a plaything to gratify animal caprice.
12. MONOGAMY (SINGLE WIFE), is a law of nature evident from the fact that
it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: the development of
the individual, the welfare of society and reproduction. In no nation with
a system of polygamy do we find a code of political and moral rights, and
the condition of woman is that of a slave. In polygamous countries nothing
is added to the education and civilization. The natural tendency is
sensualism, and sensualism tends to mental starvation.
13. CHRISTIAN CIVILIZATION has lifted woman from slavery to liberty.
Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, pure
homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home.
* * * * *
Marriage.
"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,
Married in haste we may repent at leisure."--SHAKSPEARE.
The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one those
hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled guests
congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear mother
bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would break, and as if
the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive against her will. They
enter the carriage. It drives off on the wedding tour, and his arms
encircles the yielding waist of her now all his own, while her head
reclines on the breast of the man of her choice. If she be young and has
married an old man, she will be sad. If she has married for a home, or
position, or wealth, a pang will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has
married without due consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will
be her sorrow before long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her
destiny with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow
of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often renewed,
and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial spring.
* * * * * {135}
The Advantages of Wedlock.
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,
Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home;
'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming, and look brighter when we come.--BYRON, DON JUAN.
[Illustration]
1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman. Matrimony greatly
contributes to the wealth and health of man.
2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late in
life. Many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and sisters to
care for, yet family {136} ties are cultivated, notwithstanding the home is
without a wife.
3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to the
health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no marriage
ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There can be no true
domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the select and married
companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a libertine, whether
civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and premature decay.
4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap
trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully learn each
other by making the courtship a matter of business, and sufficiently long
that the disposition and temper of each may be thoroughly exposed and
understood.
5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation;
thirdly, see that there are no physical defects; and if these conditions
are properly considered, cupid will go with you.
6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely
children are jewels without price, as Payne says:
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. The
elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is quickened, and
every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity by a happy
marriage.
8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is the
union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or romance there may
have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and spiritualized in the
intimate communion of married life. The crown of wifehood and maternity is
purer, more divine than that of the maiden. Passion is lost--emotions
predominate.
[Illustration: AN ALGERIAN BRIDE.]
9. TOO EARLY MARRIAGES.--Too early marriage is always bad for the female.
If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full development of
her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement are considerably
increased.
10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the connubial
state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of the vitality
and power of strength and physical endurance.
11. LONG LIFE.--Statistics show that married men live longer than
bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity.
{137} 12. COMPLEXION.--Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches
from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, gives
elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and contentment to
old age.
13. TEMPTATIONS REMOVED.--Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery and
libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must be remembered that
a married man can practice the most absolute continence and enjoy a far
better state of health than the licentious man. The comforts of
companionship develop purity and give rest to the soul.
14. TOTAL ABSTENTION.--It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully
abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. The great
majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. Abstention is
very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and untamable desires
which require an iron will to banish or control. The hermit in his
seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed with these
passions and trials. It is, however, natural; for remove these passions and
man would be no longer a man. It is evident that the natural state of man
is that of marriage; and he who avoids that state is not in harmony with
the laws of his being.
15. PROSTITUTION.--Men who inherit strong passions easily argue themselves
into the belief, either to practice {138} masturbation or visit places of
prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. Though medical
investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet many believe it.
The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest issues of life and is
the most holy and sacred right recognized by man, and it is the Balm of
Gilead for many ills. Masturbation or prostitution soon blight the
brightest prospects a young man may have. Manhood is morality and purity of
purpose, not sensuality.
* * * * *
Disadvantages of Celibacy.
[Illustration: Disadvantages of Celibacy.
Keeping Bachelor's Hall.
The Old Bachelor Sewing on His Buttons.]
1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many
disadvantages. The man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor secret
vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues that make a
good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried.
2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious loss
of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or congestion,
nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which certain vicious
writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. Celibacy is perfectly
consistent with mental vigor and physical strength. Regularity in the
habits of life will always have its good effects on the human body.
3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a
bachelor. There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in favor of
a man with a family. It is claimed that the married man lives on an average
from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. The married man lives a
more regular life. He has his meals more regularly and is better nursed in
sickness, and in every way a happier and more contented man. The happiness
of wife and children will always add comfort and length of days to the man
who is happily married.
4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime
committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single men than
among married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like Bunyan's
Pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, and overcome
the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. The vices of single men support
the most flagrant of evils of modern society, hence let every young man
beware and keep his body clean and pure. His future happiness largely
depends upon his chastity while a single man.
* * * * *
{140}
Old Maids.
[Illustration: "WE SHALL NEVER MARRY."]
1. MODERN ORIGIN.--The prejudice which certainly still exists in the
average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively modern
origin. From the earliest ages, in ancient Greece, and Rome particularly,
the highest {141} honors were paid them. They were the ministers of the old
religions, and regarded with superstitious awe.
2. MATRIMONY.--Since the reformation, especially during the last century,
and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, notably by women,
that it has come to be regarded as in some sort discreditable for them to
remain single. Old maids are mentioned on every hand with mingled pity and
disdain, arising no doubt from the belief, conscious or unconscious, that
they would not be what they are if they could help it. Few persons have a
good word for them as a class. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens,
charming wives, buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids.
3. DISCARDING PREJUDICE.--The real old maid is like any other woman. She
has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived of. She is
often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, cultured,
warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both sexes. These
constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel that she must have
had many opportunities. Some of them may know why; she may have made them
her confidantes. She usually has a sentimental, romantic, frequently a sad
and pathetic past, of which she does not speak unless in the sacredness of
intimacy.
4. NOT QUARRELSOME.--She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. On the
contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, patient and
serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties and domestic
cares to tire and trouble them.
5. REMAIN SINGLE FROM NECESSITY.--It is a stupid, as well as a heinous
mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost any
woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation attests.
When we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs of
matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have been
totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting. But we meet
any number of wives who are even less inviting.
[Illustration: "WE HAVE CHANGED OUR MINDS."]
6. FIRST OFFER.--The appearance and outgiving of many wives denote that
they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving of many
old maids that they have declined repeated offers. It is undeniable, that
wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids have, in the mass.
But, as the majority of women are married, they are no more criticised nor
commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex are. They are spoken of
individually as pretty or {143} plain, bright or dull, pleasant or
unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, and almost always
unfavorable.
7. BECOMES A WIFE.--Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her
associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy
having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his kind
has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her marriage
hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her charming,
thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine celibacy. Old
maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for opportunities, but
for proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have, indeed they are likely
to have, those, but not to meet these.
8. NO LONGER MARRY FOR SUPPORT.--The time has changed and women have
changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent in
disposition as well as circumstances. They no longer marry for support;
they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and self-support has
developed them in every way. Assured that they can get on comfortably and
contentedly alone they are better adapted by the assurance for consortship.
They have rapidly increased from this and cognate causes, and have so
improved in person, mind and character that an old maid of to-day is wholly
different from an old maid of forty years ago.
[Illustration: CONVINCING HIS WIFE.]
{144}
When and Whom to Marry.
1. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Women too early married always remain small in
stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have no
natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, therefore
women should not marry too young and take upon themselves the
responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of children. It
is better not to consummate a marriage until a full development of body and
mind has taken place. A young woman of twenty-one to twenty-five, and a
young man of twenty-three to twenty-eight, are considered the right age in
order to produce an intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree
good, then shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty to
forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to insanity,
idiocy, and other maladies.
3. PUBERTY.--This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity of
the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year or two
sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty is from
twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, such as Russia, the
United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently delayed until the
seventeenth year.
4. DISEASED PARENTS.--We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying the
number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have fallen heir
to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and poor judgment of
parents. No young man in the vigor of health should think for a moment of
marrying a girl who has the impress of consumption or other disease already
stamped upon her feeble constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering,
and brings no material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no
healthy, vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no
matter how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the
hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body cannot
find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, no thoughts
of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may be pleasant, but
a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady who supposes that any
young man wishes to marry her for the sake of nursing her through life
makes a very grave mistake.
[Illustration: THE BASHFUL YOUNG COUPLE.
"A faint heart never won a fair lady."]
5. WHOM TO CHOOSE FOR A HUSBAND.--The choice of a husband requires the
coolest judgment and the most {146} vigilant sagacity. A true union based
on organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water will
not mix; the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can ill-assorted
marriages be productive of aught but discord.
"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him--
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
Look carefully at the disposition.--See that your intended spouse is
kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others,
though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who thinks
only of himself.
6. BE CAREFUL.--Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of reforming
him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow and a very hell on
earth have been the consequences of too many such generous undertakings.
7. THE TRUE AND ONLY TEST which any man should look for in woman is modesty
in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance and
disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. Where
these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and a chaste
wife.
8. MARRYING FIRST COUSINS is dangerous to offspring. The observation is
universal, the children of married first cousins are too often idiots,
insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. First cousins
are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease in both families to
their children. If both are healthy there is less danger.
9. DO NOT CHOOSE ONE TOO GOOD, or too far above you, lest the inferior
dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than the
trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go farther
and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should put up with
faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better than you can give.
We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with their imperfections, and
instead of grumbling at them, be glad they are no worse; remembering that a
faulty one is a great deal better than none, if he loves you.
10. MARRYING FOR MONEY.--Those who seek only the society of those who can
boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. Wealth
cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. Marry
because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A cottage with a
loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a discontented and
unloving queen. {147}
11. DIFFERENCE IN AGE.--It is generally admitted that the husband should be
a few years older than the wife. The question seems to be how much
difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage should be about the
same age; however, other things being equal, a difference of fifteen years
after the younger is twenty-five, need not prevent a marriage. A man of
forty-five may marry a woman of twenty-five much more safely than one of
thirty a girl below nineteen, because her mental sexuality is not as mature
as his, and again her natural coyness requires more delicate and
affectionate treatment than he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or
under should seldom if ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love
of an elderly man for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for
him is like that of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge
her as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine
and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man
requires from his wife.
12. THE BEST TIME.--All things considered, we advise the male reader to
keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the female
not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the age of twenty.
After those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of action, and one in
which nearly every individual is called by nature to play his proper part.
13. SELECT CAREFULLY.--While character, health, accomplishments and social
position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental
construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed in
choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of
temperament_. Another essential is that they be physically adapted to each
other. For example: The pelvis--that part of the anatomy containing all the
internal organs of gestation--is not only essential to beauty and symmetry,
but is a matter of vital importance to her who contemplates matrimony, and
its usual consequences. Therefore, the woman with a very narrow and
contracted pelvis should never choose a man of giant physical development
lest they cannot duly realize the most important of the enjoyments of the
marriage state, while the birth of large infants will impose upon her
intense labor pains, or even cost her her life. {148}
* * * * *