SKILLIGALEE'S HISTORY.
"You remember the day we parted, after having lived together for nearly
six months. I gave you two guineas to find your way up to London, where
I recommended you to proceed to seek your fortune; and I told you that I
had as much left for myself, to help me to get away from a part of the
country where the numerous burglaries I had committed had put all the
constables on the alert after me. But in reality I had but two or three
shillings remaining in my pocket. I knew that if I told you the real
state of my finances, you would not accept so much as I had given you;
but I was afraid that you might be implicated in my difficulties, and so
I was determined that you should have sufficient to convey you clear
away from Staffordshire.
"Well, when we parted, I walked along the road leading away from the
village, as disconsolate as might be; and yet you know that I am not
naturally of a very mournful disposition. It was nine o'clock in the
evening, if you remember, when I put you into the waggon that was to
take you to London. I went on until I reached a lonely public-house, by
the way-side. It was then eleven o'clock; and I was both tired and
hungry. I entered the _Three Compasses_ (which was the sign of the
public-house), and sat down in the parlour. There was another traveller
there--a short stout man, with a very red face, and who was committing
desperate havoc upon a large cheese and loaf, from which he, however,
occasionally diverted his attention, in order to pay his respects to a
pot of porter. I ordered some refreshment, and inquired if I could be
accommodated with a bed. The old widow woman who kept the place, said
that the only bed she had to spare was already engaged by the gentleman
then at supper, but that I might sleep in the hay-loft if I chose.
Thereupon the red-faced man gave a long stare at me, shrugged his
shoulders, and went on eating. I suppose that my appearance was not
respectable enough to induce him to resign half of his bed for my
accommodation; and, indeed, I was dreadfully shabby--almost in rags, as
you may well remember. So I accepted the offer of the hay-loft; and
retired to that place as soon as I had finished my supper.
"But as I clambered up the ladder to my roosting-place, my unfortunate
trousers caught a nail; and one leg was split completely down to the
foot. I was now in a most wretched dilemma, not knowing how I should
contrive to mend my luckless inexpressibles. But I soon fell asleep, in
spite of my unpleasant reflections; and when I awoke, the dawn of the
mild spring morning was just breaking. I examined my garment, and was
reduced to despair at its appearance. At length I resolved to dress
myself, go down stairs, borrow a needle and thread of the old woman, and
be my own tailor. When I descended into the yard, I found a lad busily
employed in cleaning a pair of boots, while a pair of trousers lay upon
a bench, neatly folded up, having evidently gone through the process of
brushing. I immediately recognised the stout drab pantaloons which the
red-faced man wore on the preceding evening; and my eyes dwelt longingly
upon them. In reply to my questions, the boy said that his grandmother
(the old widow who kept the public-house) was not up yet, but that he
could get me a needle and thread, as he knew where she kept her
work-bag. I begged him to do so; and he very obligingly went into the
house for that purpose.
"The moment he had disappeared I snatched up the red-faced man's drab
trousers in one hand, and his excellent pair of bluchers in the other:
then, without waiting to look behind me, I jumped over the fence which
separated the stable-yard from the fields, and was speedily scampering
across the open country as fast as my legs would carry me. When I had
run about a mile, I reached a little grove, situated on the bank of a
stream: and there I halted.
"The red-faced gentleman's boots were a wonderful improvement upon my
old broken shoes; but his pantaloons fitted somewhat awkwardly, being a
world too wide round the waist, and a foot too short in the legs.
However, they were better than my old tattered unmentionables, and I
could not complain that they were dear!
"I pursued my way along the banks of the stream until past mid-day, when
I came to a village, where I halted at a public-house to take some
refreshment. My two or three shillings were still unchanged, because I
had not paid a single penny for my entertainment at the _Three
Compasses_. While I sate enjoying my bread and cheese and beer, I
revolved in my mind various plans to better my condition. But my
attention was speedily averted from that topic to the conversation of
two old men, who were sitting at another table in the tap-room.
[Illustration]
"'So poor old Joe Dobbin's scapegrace nephew is coming home at last?'
said one.--'Yea,' replied the other: 'he has been seeking his fortune,
as a sailor, all over the world, for the last ten years; and now that he
hasn't a penny, and is a-weary of a sea-faring life, he has written to
say that he is coming home to his poor old blind uncle.'--'Ah! Tom
Tittlebat has been a wild 'un in his day, I'll answer for it,' said the
first old man. 'But his uncle seems quite delighted at the idea of
seeing him again,' observed the other old fellow.--'He says that he
shall persuade upon Tom to stay at home and take care of him; and then
he'll be able to turn away cross old Margery, who robs him and
ill-treats him in a shameful manner.'
"I devoured every word of this conversation; and my mind was instantly
made up. I accordingly joined in the discourse, called for some ale, of
which I made the two old fellows partake, and so artfully pumped them
that in half an hour I knew all about old blind Dobbin and his graceless
nephew Tom Tittlebat, without having appeared even to ask a single
question concerning them. At length, when I had my lesson complete. I
burst out into a hearty laugh, and cried out, 'What, Master Buckley,
don't you remember me then? and you, good Master Dottings, am I quite a
stranger to _you_ too?' The old men stared; and then, with another
hearty laugh I boldly announced myself to be Tom Tittlebat. You should
have seen the old fellows--how glad they were! One swore that he had all
along suspected who I was; and the other vowed that my features were
unchanged since he last saw me, although my face was a little tanned!
Then I called for more ale, and plied the old boys well, so that they
might help to favour the imposture which I meditated.
"Away we went to the cottage inhabited by old Dobbin, my two aged
companions really showing me the way, while I pretended to be quite
familiar with it. The moment we came in sight of my alleged uncle's
residence, old Buckley and Dottings (whose names I had found out from
their own discourse with me) hobbled forward, exclaiming, 'Here's the
prodigal returned, Brother Dobbin!'--'Kill the fatted calf, Brother
Dobbin!' And in a few moments I was in my alleged uncle's arms.
"Then the fatted calf was indeed killed. Dame Margery, the old man's
housekeeper, was compelled to bustle about to prepare a copious
supper--a duty which she performed with a very bad grace, and with
sundry suspicious leers and side-glances towards me. I took no notice of
her ill-humour, but rattled away about my adventures by sea and land
till the three old men were quite astounded at the marvellous things I
had seen and the tremendous perils that I had escaped. Buckley and
Dottings were invited to stay to supper; and a merry meal we had. When
the things were cleared away, I undertook to brew the punch, assuring
the old folks that the compound would be made according to a recipe
which I had obtained from the king of the Inaccessible Islands.
"Well, the punch was made; and there it stood steaming in an enormous
bowl upon the table. I was determined to enjoy myself; for I purposed to
pack up every thing portable during the night and decamp before dawn,
for fear that the rightful nephew should return before I had turned my
trick to advantage. So I filled the tumblers, and plied the punch to
such an extent that even old Margery's ill-humour was overcome by the
gaiety of the scene; and she consented to sit down and join us.
"I was just in the middle of a most exciting account of a conflict which
I had with a shark at the South Pole, when a loud knock at the door
resounded through the house. Margery hastened to obey the summons; and
Old Dobbin observed, 'I shouldn't be surprised if this was my cousin
George, for I wrote to him the day before yesterday to say that my
nephew Tom was coming home, and invited him down to pass a week or so on
the happy occasion.' I heard this remark; but the punch had produced
such an effect upon me, that I felt no uneasiness. I thought I should be
able to get over cousin George as easily as I had done Uncle Dobbin; and
so I amused myself by filling the glasses round from the second bowl,
which had only just been mixed.
"Meantime Dame Margery, having answered the door, returned, exclaiming,
'It be Master George,' and followed by a person whom her tall gaunt form
in some measure hid from me until they were both close to the table.
Then what a dreadful scene took place! In cousin George, to my horror
and dismay, I beheld the red-faced man that I'd met at the _Three
Compasses_, and whose drab trousers adorned me at that very moment!
"I leapt from my seat, and was making as fast as I could to the door,
when cousin George shouted out, 'Holloa! who have we here?'--and,
springing forward, he collared me in a moment. 'What's the matter?
what's the matter?' demanded old Dobbin.--'My stars! what's this mean?'
exclaimed Dame Margery.--'Why, it means that this fellow is a robber,
and has got on my breeches and boots!' vociferated cousin George,
growing purple in the face with rage, and giving me a violent
shake.--'Your breeches!' cried old Buckley.--'Your boots!' mumbled old
Dottings.--'Yes, to be sure!' shouted the red-faced man. 'Go and fetch a
constable.'--Why, you don't mean that nephew Tom has done this?' said
old Dobbin.--'Nephew Tom!' exclaimed cousin George, letting go his hold
upon my coat: 'no!'--'But I say _yes_, though,' said I, putting a bold
face upon the matter: 'I knew you directly when I met you at the _Three
Compasses_ last night, and only did it by way of a lark.'
"But this turn did not serve me. While I spoke, cousin George surveyed
me attentively; and, again rushing upon me, he roared out, 'He's a
cheat! he's an impostor! Tom has a mole on the left cheek, and he's
none: Tom has a cut over the right eye, and he hasn't. Go for a
constable.'--'Well, I thought all along he was a rogue,' cried Dame
Margery, hurrying off to execute this most unpleasant order.
"My case now seemed desperate; and not a moment was to be lost. Casting
my eyes rapidly around in search of some weapon of defence or avenue of
escape, I espied the punch-bowl, three parts full of steaming liquor,
within my reach. With the rapidity of lightning I seized it, and dashed
it over like a hat upon cousin George's head. He uttered a terrific yell
as the hot punch streamed down him; and I precipitated myself from the
room as if a blood-hound was at my heels.
"Away I scudded--a hue and cry after me: but I ran like a race-horse;
and in a few minutes was beyond the sound of the '_Stop, thief_,' raised
by cousin George's ominous voice.
"That was an excellent adventure; I have often and often laughed at it
since, and wondered whether the real Tom Tittlebat ever did return. At
all events I kept cousin George's trousers and boots; but they got me
into more scrapes yet.
"I strolled along through the fields, diverting myself with reflection
upon the past, and pondering upon what might be in store for the future,
until I reached a large market town, where I went boldly to the tap-room
of the principal tavern. I ordered an excellent supper, with plenty of
ale, feeling convinced that some lucky adventure would enable me to pay
for my cheer--for I had now but one shilling left, the remainder of my
money having been spent at the inn where I met the two old acquaintances
of blind Dobbin.
"The tap-room was filled with people; and the conversation was pretty
general. There was, however, one individual who took no part in the
discourse, but sate apart in an obscure corner smoking his pipe. He did
not even appear to listen to what was said around him; but maintained
his eyes moodily fixed on the floor. His horrible sallow complexion,
deep wrinkles, and large mustache, gave him an aspect very far from
inviting. Nevertheless, I endeavoured to enter into conversation with
him--simply, I suppose, because he appeared to be so reserved, and my
curiosity was excited with respect to him; but he threw upon me a look
of the most sovereign contempt, and made me no answer. I shrank back
from the fierce glance of his dark black eyes, and felt abashed and
cowed--I scarcely knew why. But soon recovering my usual good spirits, I
also called for my pipe and my pot, and mingled in the conversation.
Rattling away with my anecdotes, and now and then singing a snatch of a
song, I speedily made myself so agreeable to the drovers and waggoners
assembled in the tap-room, that they called for punch and invited me to
partake of it with them.
"At twelve o'clock the waiter came in, and bawled out, '_Any more
orders, gentlemen? any more orders?_' No answer being given, he said,
'_I will receive each gentleman's account, if you please._'--This
announcement came like a clap of thunder upon me: I had but a shilling
in my pocket, and owed nearly three. What to do I could not tell.
Meantime the waiter went round, collecting the money due to him from
each individual; and the nearer he drew to the table where I was
sitting, the more fidgetty I became. As I glanced round me with feverish
anxiety, I saw the dark black eyes of the sallow-faced stranger fixed
upon me; and I thought that they glared with fiendish delight, as if
they had penetrated my secret. I felt ashamed--and my eyes fell beneath
the demon-like glance. In another moment the waiter stood before me.
'Now, sir--if you please, sir: steak, one shilling--taturs,
penny--bread, penny--fourteen-pence; two pints of ale, eight-pence--screw
of bakker, penny--pot porter, four-pence,--that's two-and-three, sir.' I
sat aghast for a few minutes, and then began to fumble in my pockets,
the waiter every moment growing more impatient. At that instant the
sallow-faced stranger pointed to the bench on which I was sitting, and
said in a surly tone, 'No wonder, young man, that you can't find your
money in your pocket, when you let it roll about in all directions.' He
then sank back into his corner, and seemed to take no more notice of me
or my concerns. I thought he had a mind to banter me; but, turning my
eyes towards the place which he had indicated, to my surprise I
perceived a couple of half-crowns lying there. I am sure the waiter must
have seen how my countenance brightened up with sudden joy; but he made
no remark; and I paid my bill. He then passed on to the sallow-faced
man, who settled his own account, and hastily left the room, without
condescending to cast another glance upon me.
"I was at a loss to make out whether the sallow-faced stranger had done
a most generous action, or whether some one else had dropped the money
there, and he had really fancied it to be mine. I did not, however, lose
much time in conjecture; but, taking the whole affair for a good omen,
ordered another glass, and then went jovially to bed. I awoke early, had
some breakfast, and went out to take a stroll in the town. I naturally
directed my steps towards the market-place, knowing that it was
market-day, and hoping to find a watch or a purse in the crowd.
"Elbowing my way through the graziers, drovers, and butchers, I got into
the middle of the market, and there a most extraordinary spectacle met
my eyes. A man was leading a woman along by a halter, which was tied
round her neck. At first, I thought that a public execution was about to
take place; but, seeing no gibbet--no police--no sheriffs--and no
clergyman,--and observing, at a second glance, that the woman was
giggling and laughing very much unlike a person just going to be hanged,
I was at a loss to account for so strange a sight. The crowd appeared to
enjoy the fun--for fun it evidently was--excessively; and, at length, I
learnt that '_Bob Fosset, the dog's-meat-man, was about to sell his wife
to Will Wyatt, the costermonger._' And, sure enough, such was the fact.
Bob Fossett led his wife--a comely-looking woman enough--to the centre
of the market, and tied the halter to a sheep-pen. He then mounted on
the top bar of the pen, and shouted out: '_I hereby put up my wife,
Jenny Fossett, to public auction; and I declare that she shall go to the
highest bidder._'--'_So I will, Bob_,' cried the woman.--'_Hooray, Bob
Fossett_,' bawled the crowd assembled; and then there was such laughing,
and joking, and sky-larking, it seemed for all the world just like a
fair. Well, Will Wyatt steps forward, and exclaims: '_I bid one shilling
for that woman._'--'_One shilling bid,_' said Bob Fossett.--'_One
shilling and a pot of beer_,' cries some wag in the crowd.--'_One
shilling and a pot of beer is bid_,' shouts Fossett; '_who bids any
more?_'--'_One shilling and a gallon of beer!_' bawls Will Wyatt.--'_One
shilling and a gallon of beer for this woman!_' cries Bob Fossett:
'_who'll advance on that? Going for one shilling and a gallon of beer:
going--going,--will no one bid?--gone! Will Wyatt, my lad, that woman's
yours!_' So Will Wyatt steps forward, kisses the woman, takes off the
halter, and tacks her under his arm as cozy as if they'd just been
spliced at church. Then they all three went off to the nearest
public-house, the crowds hooraying, and shouting, and squeaking, and
roaring, as they made way for the party to pass along. I determined to
see the remainder of the fun, and so I followed them to the
public-house.
"The moment we entered the parlour, I saw a person sitting in one
corner, whose face seemed more or less familiar to me. He was a fine,
tall, powerfully-built man; and his countenance was very handsome, but
so dark that he appeared to be an East-Indian. But it was the peculiar
expression of the mouth, and the piercing glance of the eyes, that
struck me. I looked--and looked again; and thought that a slight smile
curled the stranger's lips as I surveyed him, although he did not seem
to take any notice of me, or even to know that I was staring at him.
'Well,' I thought to myself, 'if you are not my sallow-faced friend of
last-sight, I'm terribly mistaken--that's all;' for I knew too much of
disguises myself to be bothered by the difference of complexions. So I
went and sat down close by him; and, having ordered something to drink,
at length boldly whispered to him, '_I have seen you before._'--'_Very
likely,_' answered the man, coolly; '_but take care of yourself, or you
may still get into a scrape on account of cousin George's breeches._'
With these words he rose, drained his glass, and walked coolly out of
the room.
"You may imagine how astonished I was at the ominous words which he had
whispered in my ear; but, collecting my ideas, I began to feel alarmed
for my safety; and, having no longer any interest in the party whom I
had followed into the public-house, I abruptly departed--without
partaking of, or paying for, the refreshment which I had ordered.
Hurrying away from the place, I got out of the town as quick as
possible; and, avoiding the main-road, struck into the fields.
"I wandered about for two or three days, until all my money was gone;
and I was one afternoon roaming along a by-lane, wondering what was to
become of me, and thinking that it would be much better to break into
some house, as a last and desperate resource, when I suddenly
encountered a man and woman at the turning of the road. They were
dressed as poor country people; but the darkness of their complexions
immediately struck my attention; and, at a second glance, I recognised
in the man the very person who had whispered those mysterious words in
my ears, concerning cousin George's trousers, and whom I could almost
certainly identify with the sallow-faced stranger. 'What, not got rid of
cousin George's trousers yet!' he exclaimed, laughing heartily; and the
woman, who seemed to understand the joke, joined in her companion's
mirth.--'Who are you?' I said, 'and how do you happen to know about that
little adventure of mine?'--'You see that I _do_ know all about it'
returned the man, with another laugh; 'and you may perhaps be surprised
when I tell you that I consider the abstraction of the trousers to be
even a more pleasant freak than the personation of Tom Tittlebat.--'The
deuce!' I cried, now completely bewildered: 'if you are a constable, say
so, and we will have a fight for it; if not, tell me who you are, and
how you came to be acquainted with my affairs.'--'I am certainly no
constable,' answered the man, 'or I might have apprehended you some days
since on two several occasions, and when there would have been no
necessity to fight for it. As to how I know any thing about you, ask no
questions, because you will receive no satisfactory answers. But if you
wish to earn a shilling or two, say so; and you can do it within an
hour.'--I professed my willingness to serve this strange
individual.--'Come with us,' he said; and, striking into a narrow path,
he led the way for about half-a-mile across the fields, until we came in
sight of a large farm-house. 'You see that farm,' he said: 'now listen
attentively. You must go there, and under any pretence you can think of,
obtain admission into the kitchen, or get into conversation with one of
the servants, so as to glean all the information you can about the
family. There's three daughters: find out whether they are engaged to be
married, or who the young men are that principally visit at the house,
and all particulars of that kind. We will wait for you in yonder copse.'
"The stranger and his companion hastened away towards the place where I
was to meet them again, and I proceeded towards the farm. It was by no
means difficult to gain admittance into the kitchen of that hospitable
establishment: a simple request for a cup of milk led to an invitation
from a buxom cook and a smart servant-maid to walk in and rest myself a
little. Then bread and cheese, and a foaming tankard of home-brewed were
set before me; and, while I ate and drank, I gradually drew the two
women into the conversation which suited my purpose. They proclaimed the
praises of 'master and missis;' and told me how the old people were very
well off; and how Miss Jemima, the eldest daughter, was engaged to a
young farmer in the neighbourhood; how Miss Mary, the second daughter,
had been courted by an officer in the army who had been quartered in the
neighbouring town, but who had since left, and had never written to her
afterwards; and how Miss Frances, the youngest, had been very melancholy
ever since she had visited an aunt at Stafford, where it was well known
an attorney's clerk had paid her very great attention. These, and
various other particulars relative to the family, were related to me in
the course of conversation; and, having remained at the farm for a
couple of hours, I was about to take my leave, as well informed relative
to the inmates as if I had lived with them all my life. But just as I
was rising to depart, I espied a purse lying in a work-box upon a shelf;
and I began to reflect how I could make it my own. Accident served my
purpose: the cook insisted upon drawing me some more ale, and went into
the cellar for that purpose; and the maid-servant stepped to the door of
the kitchen to receive a can of milk which a boy brought there at the
moment. To dart toward the shelf and secure the purse was the work of an
instant; and when the maid turned towards me again, I was sitting as
composedly as if I had never left my chair. The cook made her appearance
with the ale, of which I drank; and I then took my leave, with many
thanks for the kind entertainment I had received.
"I proceeded to the copse, where I found my strange employer and his
female companion waiting for me. I told them all that I had gleaned
relative to the farmer and his family; and they were highly delighted
with the information so procured. The man gave me five shillings, and
told me that he did not require my services any farther. I was not sorry
to get away from the neighbourhood; and, taking leave of the persons who
had employed me in so singular a service, pursued my way. When at a
convenient distance from the spot where I had left them, I examined the
purse, and, to my joy, found that it contained four sovereigns and about
seven shillings in silver.
"Considerably cheered at this change in my pecuniary position, I pursued
my way until long after dusk, when I entered a village where I
determined to put up for the night. Having supped at a public-house, I
inquired about a bed, and found that I could be accommodated with one in
a double-bedded room, the other being already retained by a traveller
who had arrived before me, but who had stepped out, I was informed, to
transact some business with certain inhabitants of his acquaintance.
Being tired, I went up to the room where I was to sleep, before the
return of the person who was to occupy the other bed; but before I
sought my own nest I looked about for a secure spot where I could
conceal my purse, as I fancied that my companion might probably be no
more honest than myself. I accordingly hid my treasure between the
mattress and the sacking; and, putting my clothes under my pillow, lay
down to rest. I soon fell into a deep sleep, from which I did not awake
until aroused by the noise of some one moving about the room. I started
up, and rubbing my eyes, asked what o'clock it was. The person who
occupied the other bed was shaving himself at a looking-glass, with his
back turned towards me; but the moment my voice fell upon his ears, he
started round; and--to my horror--I recognised but too well, beneath a
thick coat of lather, the never-to-be-forgotten countenance of cousin
George.
"Here was a precious scrape! The red-faced man was deaf to my prayers
for mercy, and alarmed the whole house. Landlord, boots, ostler, and
pot-boy rushed up stairs, while cousin George vociferated, 'Fetch a
constable! this is the rogue who stole my breeches and boots. Fetch a
constable, I say! Here's the villain that imposed upon poor old blind
Dobbin. Fetch a constable!' A constable was accordingly fetched; and I
was duly given into his charge. While I was huddling on my clothes,
cousin George exclaimed, with savage malignity, 'Ah! there's the boots,
the scoundrel! There's the drab trousers, the scamp!' and I really
believe he would have wrested them from me had it not been necessary for
me to wear them in order to accompany the constable.
"I did not choose to drag forth my purse from its place of concealment,
for fear it might involve me in a worse dilemma than that in which I
found myself, and which, after all, was not particularly serious. I
however left it beneath the mattress, with deep regret, and was led away
by the constable, every soul in the public-house turning out to witness
my departure. The landlord, moreover, gave me a parting blessing after a
fashion--accusing me as a thief who had run up a score of three
shillings and seven-pence halfpenny at his house, without the slightest
means of paying it! To this very natural conclusion he came, inasmuch as
the constable, upon searching me, had found nothing in my pockets.
"The clergyman of the village was a justice of the peace; and before his
worshipful reverence was I accordingly taken. He was an elderly man,
very corpulent and very stern; and he frowned upon me in a ferocious
manner when I was conducted into the library, where he intended to hear
the case. Cousin George, who had only shaved one side of his face, and
had a black bristly beard over the other, stepped forward and stated the
entire case, which comprised the theft of his garments and the imposture
practised upon his relative. In the latter business, however, the
magistrate refused to interfere, and confined his attention to the
abstraction of the trousers and boots. I, of course, set up the usual
defence,--'_Had never seen the gentleman before in my life--had bought
the trousers and boots of a man that I met at a public house, and whose
name I did not know; that I was an honest hard-working young fellow, out
of employment; and had never been in trouble before._' The magistrate
was, however, obstinate, and would not believe a word I uttered. He
accordingly ordered me to be committed for trial at the sessions; and I
was moved to an out-house, there to wait in the custody of the
constable, until my _mittimus_ was made out, and a cart was obtained to
take me to the county gaol. Cousin George, satisfied with what he had
done so far, threw a glance of triumph upon me as I was moved away from
the magistrate's library.
"While I was pent up in the out-house, I went up to the window and
looked out upon that open country which seemed the scene of a freedom
now lost to me. As I was standing there, pondering on my condition, and
wondering whether the numerous burglaries which I had committed in a
neighbourhood not very far distant, would be brought against me, my
attention was suddenly attracted to a number of people who were
advancing rapidly towards the house. As they drew near, to my surprise I
recognised the swarthy stranger and his female companion, both evidently
in the custody of two constables, and followed by the cook,
maid-servant, and other persons belonging to the farm-house. An idea of
the real truth instantly flashed through my mind; and I felt sorry--very
sorry for the two poor creatures who, I had no doubt, were suffering
under a suspicion of the robbery which I had perpetrated. Moreover, I
could not help thinking that the swarthy man and the sallow-faced man
were one and the same person, and that the two half-crowns had been
purposely thrown in my way by him, at the inn in the market-town, to
relieve me from that embarrassment into which his keen eyes had
penetrated. These reflections suddenly filled me with deep interest in
the stranger and his female companion.
"The procession passed the window (from which I drew back), and entered
the magistrate's house. Half-an-hour passed away; and then the
clergyman's man-servant made his appearance with a jug of ale and some
bread and meat for the constable who had me in charge. But nothing was
given to me, either to eat or drink! 'There's a new case on in the
library,' said the servant.--'Ah! what's that?' inquired the
constable.--'Two gipsies,' was the answer, 'man and woman, have been
prigging a purse down at farmer Clodhopper's. The purse belonged to a
young servant gal, and was missed out of her work-box just after the
gipsies had left the house last night. But the constables were put on
the scent, and soon found the thieves.'--'And was the purse recovered?'
asked the officer who had me in custody.--'Deuce a bit of it,' said the
servant, 'those gipsies know a trick worth two of that. It seems that
they went down to the farm late last night, and told all the young
ladies and servant girls their fortunes; so they were taken into the
kitchen and fed with the best, besides all the money they'd had given to
them by the young ladies and the servants. Not content with all that,
they stole the purse, the vagabonds!'--'No, they didn't, though!' I
exclaimed, stepping forward; for somehow or another my blood boiled and
my heart ached to think that those two poor creatures should be punished
for a crime of which they were innocent. Besides, I made sure that all
my past offences would be brought against me at the assizes; and I knew
in that case that I should be booked for transportation; so one robbery
more or less could not make much difference to me. Well, both the
constable and the servant stared when I spoke in that manner. 'Yes,' I
continued, 'it is perfectly true that those two gipsies are innocent of
the theft; and if you will take me before his worship again, I will
prove my words.' The constable accordingly conducted me back to the
library.
"The moment I entered the room, the gipsy-man and his companion
exhibited the greatest surprise and interest. I gave them a re-assuring
glance; and then, turning towards the magistrate, I said, 'Your worship,
these two poor creatures are innocent of the crime imputed to
them.'--'How do you know?' demanded the justice roughly, for his
lunch-time was now drawing near.--'Because I stole it myself,' was my
answer. The greatest astonishment pervaded the assembly; joy animated
the countenance of the two gipsies; while the cook and maid servant
cried out, '_Dear me!_' and '_Who would have thought it!_' as loud as
they could. The justice looked tremendous savage, and declared that he
would order the room to be cleared of strangers if they interrupted the
business in that indecent manner! I was then called upon to explain the
assertion which I had made.--'These two persons,' I said, pointing
towards the gipsies, 'are accused of stealing a purse from farmer
Clodhopper's kitchen?'--'They are. Well?'--'Then they didn't steal it,
because I stole it myself; and these servants can prove that I was there
yesterday afternoon.'--'So he was!' exclaimed the cook and maid in the
same breath.--'And now,' I continued, 'if you will send and search under
the mattress of the bed which I slept in last night at the public-house
where I was arrested, you will find the purse.' But this trouble was
avoided; for scarcely had I uttered these words, when in came the
landlord of that public-house, holding the purse in his hands. His wife,
it appeared, had found it when making the beds; and suspicion instantly
pointed to me as the person who had placed it in the spot where it was
discovered. This circumstance brought the case safe home to me; and the
gipsies were instantly discharged, with a warning to take care of
themselves in future!
"Nothing could exceed the looks of deep gratitude which those two
innocent persons cast upon me as they left the room:--but that of the
man was significant of something more than a mere sense of obligation
for the act of duty which I had done. I don't know how it was, too--but,
rogue as I was, I felt an inward satisfaction at the part which I had
just performed.
"I was taken back to the out-house, with another serious charge hanging
over my head; and the cart was every moment expected to convey me to the
county gaol. But time slipped away, and it did not arrive. At length the
constable became impatient, and talked about the impropriety of trifling
with the time of a public officer like him, adding that he didn't know
if he shouldn't write to the prime minister about it. Presently the
man-servant came in with some dinner for him--but not a bite nor a sup
for me! Neither did the constable offer me any thing. 'Here's a pretty
business,' says the servant; 'the man that was to drive you over to the
county gaol has got drunk somehow or other, and can't go; and the horse
has suddenly gone dead lame.'--'What's to be done, then?' cried the
constable.--'Why, you must wait till the man's sober, and the veterinary
surgeon has looked to the horse.'
"And sure enough we did wait until eight o'clock in the evening before
we started; and then no thanks to the man nor the veterinary surgeon,
for the former was still too tipsy to move, and the latter could do
nothing for the horse. However, another man came forward, at a late
hour, and offered his services. He not only cured the horse in a few
minutes, but also undertook to drive the cart. The constable accordingly
put a pair of handcuffs on me and took me out into the yard where the
vehicle was waiting. A man with a sallow face and bushy red hair, was
already seated in front, holding the whip and reins; and as I mounted he
gave me a look which I immediately understood. That man was no other
than my friend, the swarthy gipsy, so well disguised that his own mother
would have scarcely known him.
"Away we went at a rattling pace: it was soon dark, and the constable
told the driver not to go at such a rate. But he did not obey the
command: on the contrary, he whipped the horse the more; and the cart
bounded along the road as if it was for wager. The constable swore and
prayed by turns: the driver laughed; and presently the cart upset into a
dry ditch. 'Run for your liberty!' cried the driver to me, as he pulled
me from the ditch; and I followed him across the fields with a speed
that was increased by hearing the constable shouting '_Stop, thief!_'
behind me. But in a very few minutes those cries became fainter and
fainter, until they at length ceased altogether. Still my deliverer
pursued his way, and at such a rate, too, that I was scarcely able to
keep up with him.
"At length we stopped in a thicket, and sat down to rest. My deliverer
took a file from his pocket and worked away at my manacles with such a
skill and energy, that in a few minutes I was relieved from them. He
then produced some food, and I made a hearty meal. When the meal was
over, my companion condescended to give me an explanation of certain
matters which had hitherto remained wrapped up in some degree of
mystery.
"'You must be informed,' he said, 'that my name is Morcar, and that I am
the son of Zingary, king of the gipsies. The female whom you saw with me
yesterday and this morning, is my wife. A considerable portion of the
money earned by our race consists of fees paid by the simple and
credulous, for having their fortunes told. In order to obtain the
necessary information relative to the inhabitants of those places or
dwellings which we visit, we are compelled to assume many disguises, or
to make use of the agency of others, not connected with us, to gather
that information for us. Some days ago, at an early hour in the morning,
I was loitering about in the neighbourhood of the _Three Compasses_, and
from behind a hedge saw you make off with the boots and trousers which a
boy had been brushing in the yard. Chance led me that same afternoon to
the village where you played your famous trick upon old Dobbin; and, as
the story spread like wild-fire through the place immediately after your
detection by cousin George, I could not avoid hearing all the
particulars. I got a lift in a cart from that village to the market-town
where I met you the same night at the inn. I could not help admiring
your boldness and ingenuity; and, while I sat quietly smoking my pipe in
the tap-room, listening to the discourse of the inmates, and picking up
a variety of information, to be turned to future account, I noticed your
embarrassment at the appearance of the waiter to collect the money owing
by each individual. I had made a good day's work in a certain way, and
was disposed to be liberal: accordingly, at a moment when you were
turned in another direction, I placed the two half-crowns close by where
you sate on the bench. Next day I threw off what I call my '_sallow
disguise_', and repaired to another public-house, near the market, to
glean additional information, all of which our women have since turned
to ample profit. Then I was enabled to give you a warning which was
really important to you, as old Dobbin's cousin George had actually
arrived that morning in the town to attend the market. A few days
afterwards I was roving with my wife along the by-lanes in the
neighbourhood of Clodhopper's farm, endeavouring by some means to glean
what we could concerning the young women at that place--for our finest
harvests are always reaped at farm-houses. Again I met you; and I made
you the instrument of my design. But,' added Morcar, with a smile, 'you
went farther than you were instructed: you did a thing which _we_ never
do--I mean, steal money. We take for our use a sucking-pig, a fowl, or a
goose; and we do not consider that stealing. We also snare rabbits and
game; and we look upon it as no crime. However, you saw the scrape into
which that business of the purse got me and my wife this morning. You
saved us, and I vowed to save you also. The moment I was discharged I
went to the stable where the horse that was to convey you to gaol was
kept, and bribed the ostler to drive a nail into his foot so as to touch
the flesh. Then I found the man who was to drive you, and plied him so
well with liquor that he was unable to perform his duty. My object was
to delay your journey until the evening, because I knew that I could
ensure your escape in the dark. You have seen how well my plans have
succeeded, because you are now free.'
"You may suppose that I thanked my kind deliverer most sincerely for all
he had done to serve me. He, however, cut me short in my expressions of
gratitude, by saying, 'What are you going to do? If you will join us,
you will be assured of your daily food, and will be more or less
protected from danger. My father has a van, in which you can at any time
hide when concealment is necessary; and we will do all we can to serve
you, for I still consider myself to be indebted to you on account of
your generous conduct of this morning. I could have borne punishment
myself; but the idea of my wife being plunged into such misery--no,
never--never!'
"I accepted the welcome offers of Morcar, and that very night was
conducted to the encampment where his father and mother had taken up
their quarters. Eva presented her son to me, saying, 'You have preserved
for this little one a father and mother: henceforth the Zingarees will
know thee as a friend!' From that moment I have lived with the gipsies
until the present time; and, though some years have passed away since I
first joined them, I have not yet become weary of our wandering mode of
existence."