And Frown, or Smile, all’s one to me:
The Slave has broke his Servial Chains,
And spight of all your Pride is free
From the Tyrannick Slavery.
Be kind or cruel every day,
Your Eyes may wear what dress they please,
‘Twill not affect me either way,
Now my fond Heart has found its Peace,
And all my Tears and Sighings cease.
I must confess you’re wondrous fair,
And know, to conquer such a Heart;
Is worth an Age of sad despair,
If Lovers Merits were Desert;
But you’re unjust as well as fair,
And Love subsists not with despair,
No more than Lovers by the Air.
I’ve spar’d no Sighs nor Floods of Tears,
Nor any thing to move your Mind,
With sacred Vows I fed your Cares;
But found your rebel Heart unkind,
And Vanity had made you blind.
No more my Knees shall bow before
Those unconcern’d and haughty Eyes,
Nor be so senseless to adore
That Saint, that all my Prayers despise:
No, I contemn your Cruelty
Since in a Humor not do dye.
Having said all this with an Air of Disdain, I, smiling, took my leave,
with much less Civility and Respect than I used to do: and hasting to
_Intelligence_, I past my time very well with _Bellinda_, to whom I
paid all my Visits, and omitted nothing that might make _Bellimante_
know I had forgot her: But at the end of some days by a very happy
change, she finding more inclination to Love than to Cruelty, banishing
all Obstacles in Favour of a Lover, she came to _Intelligence_; where
at first sight she made me some little Reproaches, and that in so
soft a manner, that I did not doubt but I had toucht her Heart: I
swore a thousand times, that all I had done, was only put on to see if
it were possible she could resent it, and force from her Heart some
little concern for my supposed loss. At this time I had abundance
of Intreagues upon my hands, for it was not with _Bellinda_ and
_Bellimante_, with whom I lived in this manner; and indeed it is
impossible to remain at _Intelligence_ and to make a Court but to
two Persons only, where there are so many of the Fair and Young. I
writ every day several Billets; and received every day as many: I had
every day two or three Rendezvous; and one ought to manage matters
very discreetly, that neither Party might come to the knowledge of the
others concern; and one ought to be a Man of great Address and Subtilty
to love more than one securely; and though this gave me some pain, it
was nevertheless an _Embarrass_ very agreeable, and in which I could
have lived a great while; if Envy, which cannot suffer any Body to be
happy in _Intelligence_, had not arrived there and told a great many
things which discovered my Intreagues; so that _Bellinda_, with whom I
had lived there with great Tranquillity a long time, and _Bellimante_,
with whom I was but just beginning to be happy, were both obliged to
quit this delightful place, where we enjoyed many happy hours; and
they retired till the noise was a little over; and with them all those
who had afforded me any hope: If any one of these had stayed, I had
been contented well enough and one might have consol’d me for the loss
of the other, but in one day to lose all that made my happiness, put
me in such a Melancholy, I knew not for the present what to do for
myself; but _Coquet Love_ conducted me to a Village, that gave me a new
Pleasure: The scituation of it is marvellous, the Fields and the Groves
all about it the most pleasant in the World; the Meadows enamel’d with
Rivulets, which run winding here and there, and lose themselves in
the Thickets and the Woods. In going, _Love_ said to me: In absence
it is in vain to abandon yourself to sorrow. Alas! What signifies it
to sigh night and day; the Absent does not hear us; nor can the most
tender Affliction or Complaint render a Lover happy, unless the Fair
One were present to hear all his Moans, then perhaps they might avail.
There was reason in what he said, and I was pleas’d and calm’d; and we
arrived at the same time at this Village: All the Houses were fine,
and pleasant, we saw all the Graces there by Fountains and by Flowery
Springs, and all the Objects that could be imagined agreeable; and the
least amiable ones, we saw, gave us a Joy! All the World that inhabit
there contribute to Diversion; and this place is called _Amusement_:
_Amusement_ is a young Boy, who stops and gazes at every thing that
meets his Eyes, and he makes his Pleasure with every Novelty.
As soon as I arrived at this Village I thought to divert myself, as
others did; and to hinder my Thoughts from fixing on the loss of my
two Mistresses, and to banish from my mind the Chagrins their Absence
gave me; withdrawn from the fair Eyes of _Bellimante_, and the Charming
Wit of _Bellinda_, and to give my sighing Heart a little ease; upon a
thousand Objects I formed my desires, and took a thousand Pleasures
to divert my Melancholy: And all the time I lived at this dear place,
I passed my time without any inquietude; for every day afforded me
new Objects to give me new Wishes. And I now expected, without much
impatience, the return of _Bellinda_ and _Bellimante_; nor did I tire
myself with writing to ‘em every day; and when I did write, to save
the expence of thought, the same Billet served both; a thousand little
tender things I said of course to both: And sometimes, especially
while I was writing, I thought I had rather seen them than have lived
at _Amusement_, but since it was necessary they should be absent, I
bore it with all the Patience I could; sometimes we were in a fit of
writing very regularly to one another, but on a sudden I received no
Letters at all; the reason of this was, they both understood I lived
at _Amusement_, and had retired themselves to the Palace of _Spight_: I
no sooner received this News, but I rendered myself there also; it is
a place where there is alwaies abundance of Tumult, Outrage, Quarrels
and Noise: And _Spight_ is a Person who eternally gives occasion of
Discontent and Broil; causing People often to fall out with those
they love most, and to caress those they hate: But the Quarrels she
occasions us with those we love, last but a very short season, and Love
reconciles those differences that _Spight_ obliges us to make: Thô ‘tis
sometime pleasant enough to see those we Love extreamly, and violently,
fall into the highest rage, and say a thousand things injurious and
unreasonable, and to swear all the Oaths that angry Love and Fury can
inspire, never to see or converse with one another again, and in a
moment after to grow calm, weep, and reunite; to be perjured on both
sides, and become more fond than ever they were.
A Lovers Rage and Jealousie
One short moment do’s confess:
How can they long angry be
Whose Hearts are full of tenderness?
In this Place there wou’d be eternal War, but for a person who inhabits
there, and is always the Mediator for Peace, ‘tis he that assists
to accommodate and bring the Lovers together. This is a very honest
person, call’d _Right Understanding_; he brought me to _Bellinda_, whom
I found accompani’d with a Man that made her a thousand caresses; at my
approach she made as if she knew me not, which I took in such disdain,
that I apply’d myself to _Spight_, with a design to be reveng’d on
this Haughty scorner. In this humour I made a visit to _Bellimante_
but found her as Implacable as _Bellinda_, whom no excuses, no reason,
cou’d reduce to the temper I had once seen her; in a rage, ten times
more than I was before, fill’d with disdain and revenge I complain’d
of this treatment to my little _Love_, who immediately led me into
a Grove, where the Beauties and the Graces us’d to walk, to consult
upon what return to make for my affront; from one place to another
we past on till we came to a little Thicket, on the other side of
which, by a little Rivulet we cou’d hear, but not see, two persons
discoursing; they were women, and one seemed in a violent Rage against
her Lover, who had newly offended her, whilst the other strove in vain
to reconcile her, but she went on, vowing to revenge herself with the
next object she shou’d Encounter that had but Wit, Youth, and fortune
enough to Justify her Love, and make her conquest glorious; her
resolution agreeing so with mine, and her manner of speaking, gave me
new hope and pleasure, and a great curiosity to see her face; I found
by her Resentment she was young and of Quality, and that alone was
enough to make me resolve upon Addressing myself to her, and the other
person had no sooner left her, but I advanced towards her, with as good
a grace as I you’d put on; she was a little surprised, and blushing
at first, but I soon reconcil’d her to my conversation. I found her
handsom enough to ingage me, and she was as well pleased with me as I
was with her, both having the same design which was that of revenge,
and you may Imagine, our business being the same, our entertainment
was not at first extraordinary, but as my cause of Anger was more
reasonable than hers, I began to find myself to soften into liking of
this new fair one, who was called _Cemena_, and who, to spight her
former Lover, endeavor’d to be seen with me in all the publick places
she cou’d, which gave him Infinite torments of Jealousie. One day as I
was walking with this _Cemena_ in a place where the young and the fair
frequent, _Bellinda_ and _Bellimante_ often passed by us, and saw us
both well pleas’d and in good humour; I cou’d perceive their colour
goe and come, and that they were as uneasy at this object, as my heart
you’d wish, and by their quitting of the place immediately after, I
was assured of all my hope, and believed I had gained my Point; at the
end of two or three days, one Morning walking alone in the same place
I encountered _Bellimante_, who hap’ned to be attended with her Woman
onely; she chang’d colour at my approach, and wou’d have passed me by
but I stay’d her by the Robe; and said a thousand things to her that
angry Love inspir’d me with, while she on her side did the same, till
we had talk’d ourselves by degrees into reason, and good understanding.
I found her Resentment to be only the excess of Love, and all those
faults are easily forgiven, I immediately threw myself at her Feet,
and made her a thousand protestations of my fidelity, and she, in her
turn excused herself with all the tenderness imaginable, she made me a
thousand new vows and caresses, and forgot nothing that might perswade
me that all she did was by Counsel of _Spight_.
Oh! how soft it is to see
The fair one we believe untrue,
Eager and impatient be
To be reconcil’d anew;
When their little cheats of Love
Shall with reasons be excus’d,
Oh! how soft it is to prove.
With what ease we are abus’d!
When we come to understand
How unjust are all our fears;
And to feel the lovely hand
Wiping from our Eyes the tears.
And a thousand Favours pay
For every drop they kiss away,
Oh! how soft it is to yield,
To the Maid just reconcil’d.
I found this accommodement extreamly agreeable, and it was in these
transports the Lovely _Bellimante_ detain’d me for some days without
quitting her, but I found too much Joy in a new reconciliation not
to endeavour to make one also with _Bellinda_; as soon then as
_Bellimante_ grew a little off my heart by so long a conversation
with one and the same Woman, I, on pretence of some affairs, left
her extreamly charm’d and satisfi’d, and hasted to _Bellinda_, who,
methought, was now a new Beauty; at least I found her too considerable
to lose the Glory of ingaging her intirely; ‘tis possible that both
these Ladies, being agitated with as little faith as myself, deceiv’d
me with the same design as I did them, to make their pleasure only,
and thô this very often came into my thoughts, yet it gave me no great
inquietude, they dissembl’d well, and I cou’d not see it; I had the
satisfaction and the vanity of ‘em, that was as much as I desir’d from
any of the fair since _Silvia_ toucht my heart, they both swore they
lov’d and both fear’d to displease, if they were unfaithful they had a
thousand stratagems to hide their infidelity, and took a great deal of
care to keep me, which shew’d a value in me above all the rest of my
Rivals, and I beheld myself with some Pride and esteem for having so
much power; when ever they offended me they had all the Arts to mollify
me, and who wou’d be so critically in love as not to be willing to be
so well abus’d? For my part I will not be so nice, as to penetrate
into their thoughts, to find what wou’d but displease me if found; but
content myself with all I see and find that looks like Love at least
and good humour. Nay even in their worst I found a thousand pleasures,
those of their quarrels which sometimes happen twenty times a day, when
every reconciliation is like a new Mistress, so well they strive to
please and be reconcil’d.
But all these pleasures did not satisfy me, there were greater yet
behind which I had not arriv’d to with these fair charmers, and however
I liv’d at _Amusement_, making a thousand Amours with a hundred of the
most Beautiful, still I had a desire to subdue intirely to my pleasure
these two the most hard to gain, but now I was pretty well secur’d of
both their hearts and yet neither knew they were each others Rivals in
mine. They knew one another, converst, and play’d and walkt together,
yet so discreet I was in this Amour that neither was jealous of the
other, nor suspected I lov’d both with an equal Ardour; when I hap’ned
to be with ‘em both I carried myself so equally Gallant that both
commended my conduct and imagin’d I did it to hide the secret passion
I had for herself, and so many little Arts my _Coquet Love_ had taught
me I cou’d with ease manage abundance of intrigues at one and the same
time.
But as I said, this did not suffice, nor cou’d the fires that some
more willing Beauties allay’d, hinder me from wishing and burning and
persuing those two fair persons with an Ardor that had no appearance
of decay from any others goodness to me, but in my daily visits to
’.m I eternally solicited them to suffer me to accompany them to that
charming place call’d _Favors_, which is a very Beautiful Castle rais’d
in a Vally. I confest to you that my _Coquet Cupid_ advis’d me not
to go, for fear of attaching myself too much to a place so extreamly
agreeable; the Mountains, that environ this Castle, are very high
and full of hollow Rocks, which made the scituation very sullen. The
Castle itself was delicately built, and surrounded with tall Trees, so
thick that one cou’d hardly see the Edifice, nor cou’d the Sun-beams
dart throw the gloomy shade; and eternal Night seem’d to sit there in
awful state and pleasure: For the more obscure this place is and secret
from all Eyes, the better and more acceptable it is to all that enter
there, and thô this Vally have many inhabitants, it appears to have
none at all; because they love solitude, and, banishing all Publick
society, content themselves only to be but two in company together; if
there be more they are receiv’d with a very ill welcome, for a third
Person in this place wou’d destroy the Pleasure and the harmony. The
Inhabitants of this Castle never shew themselves but to those that are
very importune, and then not every day, the Ladies that command there
are many Sisters all of the name of the Castle; and all very fair, and
still one more fair than the other, and when you visit ‘em you see ‘em
not all at once but by degrees and the last you behold is the fairest,
and by the pleasure you have in seeing one, you desire to see ‘em
all. For there are no limits to be given to desire, and as they are
never seen by any body altogether, it happens very often that you see
but one, and you must have address and great assiduity, abstinence,
and good fortune to obtain one of these _Favors_; but the last will
cost you much more trouble than all the rest put together, so very
fair, so very nice and coy she is: But when once obtain’d she brings
you to the Palace of intire Pleasure; which is neighbouring to the
Castle of _Favors_; but I, who wou’d very fain, at once, have brought
to this delicate place both _Bellinda_ and _Bellimante_, found myself
extream uneasy, because, as I said, only two can be well entertain’d
at a time! I found it against my humour and against the advice of
_Love_ to abandon all, and retire with one only, for in decency and
good manners, those, who go to this Castle of _Favors_, are oblig’d
to continue there for some time; and I found, I shou’d be extreamly
chagrin after a little with one alone; but both were obstinate and
wou’d not suffer a third: and having been so very importune with both,
I was asham’d to repent and recant all those things I had said, to
persuade them to go, thô in my heart I was very ill satisfi’d I had
not persu’d the counsel, _Love_ had given me not to go to _Favors_ at
all; he foreseeing an inconvenience in such a retreat, which I, with
all my young desires about me and fond of novelty, cou’d not, so well
as he, discern; however I had propos’d it with some ardency and wou’d
not go back, but resolv’d to make the best advantage of my voyage, and
wou’d not declare my regreet till I cou’d no longer hinder it: So that
_Bellimante_, yeilding to my Implorings, consented next day to go with
me to this retreat of _Favors_.
Accordingly the next morning we set out for this amiable place; where
we arrived, and finding myself all alone, without interruption or fear,
with this very fair Creature, I advanced to a thousand Freedoms which
she, with some resistance, permitted me to take: I was all Joy and
Transport at every advance, and still the nearer I approached to the
last Favour, the more blest I imagined myself; I grew more resolved,
and she more feeble; and at last, I was the Victor and _Bellimante_
the Victim; I remained some days with her, and one would have imagined
I should have been intirely happy in this place with one so young and
fair: But behold the fickleness of, Youth, and Man’s nature.
Thô my Heart were full of Passion,
And I found the yeilding Maid
Give a loose to inclination
While her Love her Flame betray’d;
Yet thô all she did impart,
Pain and Anguish prest my Heart.
Thô I found her all o’r Charming,
Fond and sighing in my Arms;
Yet my Heart anew was warming
For _Bellinda’s_ unknown Charms;
Thought, if Beauty pleas’d me so,
What must Wit and Beauty too?
And though next day I found myself a hundred times more in Love with
_Bellimante_ than before, yet unless I could possess _Bellinda_ too,
I thought myself miserable: Yet every time she charmed me anew I was
upon the point of renouncing eternally _Bellinda_, and sacrificing
her to my Passion for _Bellimante_: But I did not remain long in that
Humour, but every day grew more and more unresolved in that point; and
as _Bellimante_ grew more fond I grew more cold; not but I had learnt
to say so many kind and soft things in the time of my real Passion with
_Silvia_, that I found it easie to speak every day such endearing Words
as gave her no doubt of my Heart; nor was willing she should see to the
bottom of it, where she would most certainly have found _Bellinda_; yet
with such a mixture of Passion for herself, that it would have been
hard to have distinguished, which had had the ascendant there; only my
desire at present was the most considerable for the fair Object I had
not yet possest, and whom I long’d to vanquish; perhaps, as much for
the Glory as the Pleasure, though my Heart did not at this moment think
so.
After some time that I had lived here with _Bellimante_, I made some
pretext to leave her for a little while; she, who was extreamly
charmed with that Solitude, resolved to wait there my return, so that
I had some pain in contriving how I should bring _Bellinda_ to the
same Castle as I wished to do; but it had in it many Mansions and
Apartments, and, as I said, so retired from one another, that it was
difficult to come at any time together or to meet: This consideration
made me resolved, and very pressing with _Bellinda_, to go to this
place, assuring her of such Diversion as she never met with in any
other part of the World: She loved and was not long in persuading, and
I had the Glory to conduct her in spight of all her Wit and Gayety, to
this retreat of Solitude with me; where, unperceived, I obliged her to
render me all that Love could allow, and more than Honour would permit:
And I was for some days extreamly happy, and possibly had continued
so, (going from one Apartment to another, and, like the Great Sultan,
visiting by turns my Beauties,) had not a malicious fate prevented my
Grandeur and Pleasure.
It hap’ned one day that I had sued a repetition of Favours from
_Bellinda_; she seeming resolved to grant me no more, repenting of
those I had taken, and with a charming Sorrow reproaching me, making me
a thousand times more pressing than before: At last her force growing
weaker, her denials fainter, and my importunities more raging; I found
her yeilding, the Lily in her Face gave place to the Roses, and Love
and Trembling made her Eyes more fair, and just ready to render me all.
We saw approaching us _Bellimante_, who, having heard how I sometimes
past my hours, resolved to surprise me in my perfidy; and accordingly
found us in a gloomy Arbour with all the Transports of Love in both
our Faces, which it was too late to resettle and hide from this too
sensible and jealous fair One: In vain I strove with all the Arguments
of Love and Tenderness to appease her, or, if by anything I said, I
found her inclined to pardon me, on the other side it but served to
incense and enrage _Bellinda_, to whom I had made equal Vows (at her
coming to that place,) of eternal Fidelity. I am not able to express to
you, my dear _Lysander_, what confusion I found myself in, I divided
my Heart and my Entreaties between ‘em; and knew not to which I most
ardently meant ‘em; I was very sensible, that while I treated both
with equal Love and Respect, that I should gain neither, and yet if
what I said to both had been addrest to any one of ‘em, it would have
prevailed; and I found it easie to have kept either, if I would resolve
to quit the other; but my heart not inclining to that, or if it wou’d,
not knowing which I shou’d chuse, made me remain between ‘em both the
most out-of-countenanced coxcomb, that ever was taken in the cheats
of Love, while both were on either side reproaching me with all the
malice and noise imaginable, so that not being able longer to endure
the clamour, I took my flight from ‘em both, and ran with all the force
I cou’d to a Village call’d _Irresolution_; and where _Coquet Love_
abandon’d me saying that place was not proper for him.
The Houses of this Village are for the most part not half built, but
all appears very desolate and ruinous: It appertains to a Lady very
fantastique of the same name. She makes a Figure pleasant enough, she
never dresses herself, because she cannot determin what habit to put
on; she is ever tormenting herself, still turning to this side and
to that, yet never stirs from the place, because undetermin’d she
knows not whither nor which way to go: And having so many in her mind
resolves to go to neither; one always sees an Agitation in her Eyes,
that keeps them in perpetual motion and fixt on nothing. You see her
perpetually perplext with a thousand designs in her head at once, but
puts none of them in execution.
I found myself in this place Embarrassed with a thousand confusions
and thoughts, for _Bellinda_ and _Bellimante_ had equally shar’d my
soul, and I knew not for which I shou’d declare; nor whether the Wit
and extream good Humour of the first were more powerful upon my heart,
than the Beauty and softness of the last, so that I was wholly unable
to determin which I shou’d quit, having the same sentiments for one as
the other, and resolv’d to abandon both rather than content myself with
one: And the fear of losing one was the occasion of my losing both, in
fine I was in the most cruel incertainty in the World. And I cou’d not
forbear saying a thousand times to myself,
When _Love_ shall two fair objects mix,
And in the Heart two passions fix:
‘Tis a pleasure too severe,
Cruel Joy we cannot bear,
Too much Love for two I own,
But too little flame for one.