_What happened to Sancho Panza as he went the rounds in his island._
We left our mighty governor much out of humour with that saucy knave
of a countryman, who, according to the instructions he had received
from the steward, and the steward from the duke, had bantered his
worship with his impertinence. Yet, as much a dunce and fool as he
was, he made his party good against them all. At last, addressing
himself to those about him, among whom was Dr. Pedro Rezio, who had
ventured into the room again: "Now," said he, "do I find in good
earnest that judges and governors must be made of brass, that they may
be proof against the importunities of those that pretend business;
who, at all hours and at all seasons, would be heard and despatched,
without any regard to any body but themselves. Now if a poor judge
does not hear and despatch them presently, either because he is
otherwise busy and cannot, or because they do not come at a proper
season, then do they grumble, and give him their blessing backwards,
rake up the ashes of his forefathers, and would gnaw his very bones.
But with your leave, good Mr. Busybody, with all your business, you
are too hasty; pray have a little patience, and wait a fit time to
make your application. Do not come at dinner-time, or when a man is
going to sleep; for we judges are flesh and blood, and must allow
nature what she naturally requires; unless it be poor I, who am not to
allow mine any food; thanks to my friend Mr. Dr. Pedro Rezio
Tirteafuera, here present, who is for starving me to death, and then
vows it is for the preservation of my life."
All that knew Sancho wondered to hear him talk so sensibly, and began
to think that offices and places of trust inspired some men with
understanding, as they stupified and confounded others. However, Dr.
Pedro promised him he should sup that night, though he trespassed
against all the rules of Hippocrates. This pacified the governor, and
made him wait with a mighty impatience for the evening. To his
thinking, the hour was so long coming that he fancied time stood
still; but yet at last the wished-for moment came, and they served him
up some minced beef with onions, and some calves-feet, somewhat stale.
The hungry governor presently fell to with more eagerness and appetite
than if they had given him Roman pheasants or Lavajos geese. And after
he had pretty well taken off the sharp edge of his stomach, turning to
the physician, "Look you," quoth he, "Mr. Doctor, hereafter never
trouble yourself to get me dainties or tit-bits to humour my stomach;
that would but take it quite off the hinges, by reason it has been
used to nothing but good beef, bacon, pork, goats-flesh, turnips, and
onions; and if you ply me with your kick-shaws, your nice courtiers'
fare, it will but make my stomach squeamish and untoward, and I should
perfectly loathe them one time or another. However, I shall not take
it amiss, if Master Sewer will now and then get me one of those olla
podridas (and the stronger they are the better), where all sorts of
good things are stewed, and, as it were, lost in one another; and I
shall remember him, and make him amends one of these days. But let
nobody put tricks upon travellers, and make a fool of me; for either
we are or we are not. Let us be merry and wise; when God sends his
light, he sends it to all. I will govern this island fair and square,
without underhand dealings or taking of bribes; but take notice, I
will not bate an inch of my right; and therefore let every one carry
an even hand, and mind their hits, or else I would have them to know
there are rods in pickle for them. They that urge me too far shall rue
for it: make yourself honey, and the flies will eat you." "Indeed, my
lord governor," said the steward, "your lordship is much in the right
in all you have said; and I dare engage for the inhabitants of this
island, that they will obey and observe your commands with diligence,
love, and punctuality; for your gentle way of governing, in the
beginning of your administration, does not give them the least
opportunity to act or to design any thing to your lordship's
disadvantage." "I believe as much," answered Sancho, "and they would
be silly wretches, should they offer to do or think otherwise. Let me
tell you too, it is my pleasure you take care of me and my Dapple,
that we may both have our food as we ought, which is the most material
business. Next let us think of going the rounds, when it is time for
me to do so; for I intend to clear this island of all filth and
rubbish, of all rogues and vagrants, idle fellows, and sturdy beggars.
For I would have you to know, my good friends, that your slothful,
lazy, lewd people in a commonwealth, are like drones in a bee-hive,
that waste and devour the honey which the labouring bees gather. I
design to encourage the husbandmen, preserve the privileges of the
gentry, reward virtuous persons; and, above all things, reverence
religion, and have regard to the honour of religious men. What think
you of this, my good friends? Do I talk to the purpose, or do I talk
idly?" "You speak so well, my lord governor," answered the steward,
"that I stand in admiration to hear you utter so many notable things,
and in every word a sentence; far from what they who have sent you
hither, and they who are here present, ever expected from your
understanding. But every day produces some new wonder; jests are
turned into earnest, and those who designed to laugh at others happen
to be laughed at themselves."
It being now night, and the governor having supped, he prepared to
walk the rounds; and set forward, attended by the steward, the
secretary, the gentleman-waiter, the historiographer (who was to
register his acts), several sergeants, and other limbs of the law; so
many in number that they made a little battalion, in the middle of
which the great Sancho marched with his rod of justice in his hand, in
a notable manner. They had not walked far before they heard the
clashing of swords, which made them hasten to the place whence the
noise came. Being come thither, they found only two men fighting, who
gave over on perceiving the officers. "What," cried one of them at
the same time, "do they suffer folks to be robbed in the town, in
defiance of Heaven and the king; do they let men be stripped in the
middle of the street?" "Hold, honest man," said Sancho; "have a little
patience, and let me know the occasion of this fray, for I am the
governor." "My lord," said the other party, "I will tell you in a few
words. Your lordship must know that this gentleman, just now, at a
gaming-ordinary over the way, won above a thousand reals; I stood by
all the while, and gave judgment for him in more than one doubtful
cast, though I could not well tell how to do it in conscience. He
carried off his winnings; and when I expected he would have given me a
crown gratuity, up he got, and went away without giving me any thing.
I ran after him, not very well pleased with his proceeding, yet very
civilly desired him to consider I was his friend; that he knew me to
be a gentleman, though fallen to decay, that had nothing to live upon,
my friends having brought me up to no employment; and therefore I
entreated him to be so kind as to give me eight reals; but the stingy
soul would give me but four sneaking reals. And now, my lord, you may
see how little shame and conscience there is in him. But had not your
lordship come just in the nick, I would have made him disgorge his
winnings, and taught him the difference between a rook and a jackdaw."
"What say you to this?" cried Sancho to the other. The other made
answer, "That he could not deny what his antagonist had said, that he
would give him but four reals, because he had given him money several
times before; and they who expect benevolence should be mannerly, and
be thankful for what is given them, without haggling with those that
have won, unless they know them to be common cheats, and the money not
won fairly; and that to shew he was a fair gamester, and no sharper,
as the other said, there needed no better proof than his refusal to
give him any thing, since the sharpers are always in fee with these
bully-rocks, who know them, and wink at their cheats." "That is true,"
said the steward. "Now what would your lordship have us to do with
these men?" "I will tell you," said Sancho: "first, you that are the
winner, whether by fair play or by foul, give your bully-back here a
hundred reals immediately, and thirty more for the poor prisoners; and
you that have nothing to live on, and were brought up to no
employment, and go sharping up and down from place to place, pray take
your hundred reals, and be sure by to-morrow to go out of this island,
and not to set foot in it again these ten years and a day, unless you
have a mind to make an end of your banishment in another world; for if
I find you here, I will make you swing on a gibbet, with the help of
the hangman. Away, and let no body offer to reply, or I will lay him
by the heels." Thereupon the one disbursed, and the other received;
the first went home, and the last went out of the island; and then
the governor, going on, "Either I shall want of my will," said he, "or
I will put down these disorderly gaming-houses; for I have a fancy
they are highly prejudicial." One of the officers now came holding a
youth, and having brought him before the governor, "If it please your
worship," said he, "this young man was coming towards us, but as soon
as he perceived it was the rounds, he sheered off, and set a-running
as fast as his legs would carry him--a sign he is no better than he
should be." "What made you run away, friend?" said Sancho. "Sir,"
answered the young man, "it was only to avoid the questions one is
commonly teased with by the watch." "What business do you follow?"
asked Sancho. "I am a weaver by trade," answered the other. "A weaver
of what?" asked the governor. "Of steel-heads for lances, with your
worship's good leave," said the other. "Oh, oh," cried Sancho, "you
are a wag I find, and pretend to pass your jests upon us. Very well.
And pray whither are you going at this time of night?" "To take the
air, if it like your worship," answered the other. "Good," said
Sancho; "and where do they take the air in this island?" "Where it
blows," said the youth. "A very proper answer," cried Sancho. "You are
a very pretty impudent fellow, that is the truth of it. But pray make
account that I am the air, or the wind, which you please, and that I
will blow you to the round-house. Here, take him and carry him away
thither directly; I will take care the youngster shall sleep out of
the air to-night; he might catch cold else by lying abroad." "You
shall as soon make me a king," said the young man, "as make me sleep
out of the air to-night." "Why, you young slip-string," said Sancho,
"is it not in my power to commit thee to prison, and fetch thee out
again as often as it is my will and pleasure?" "For all your power,"
answered the fellow, "you shall not make me sleep in prison." "Say you
so!" cried Sancho; "here, away with him to prison, and let him see to
his cost who is mistaken, he or I; and, lest the jailor should be
greased in the fist to let him out, I will fine him in two thousand
ducats if he let thee stir a foot out of prison." "All that is a
jest," said the other; "for I defy all mankind to make me sleep this
night in a prison." "Hast thou some angel," said Sancho, "to take off
the irons which I will have thee clapped in, and get thee out?" "Well
now, my good lord governor," said the young man very pleasantly, "let
us talk reason, and come to the point. Suppose your lordship should
send me to jail, and get me laid by the heels in the dungeon, shackled
and manacled, and lay a heavy penalty on the jailor in case he let me
out; and suppose your orders be strictly obeyed; yet for all that, if
I have no mind to sleep, but will keep awake all night, without so
much as shutting my eyes, pray can you, with all the power you have,
make me sleep whether I will or no?" "No certainly," said the
secretary; "and the young man has made out his meaning." "Well," said
Sancho, "but I hope you mean to keep yourself awake, and only forbear
sleeping to please your own fancy, and not to thwart my will?" "I mean
nothing else indeed, my lord," said the lad. "Why then, go home and
sleep," quoth Sancho, "and Heaven send thee good rest; I will not be
thy hindrance. But have a care another time of sporting with justice;
for you may meet with some in office that may chance to break your
head, while you are breaking your jest." The youth went his way, and
the governor continued his rounds.
A while after came two of the officers, bringing a person along with
them. "My lord governor," said one of them, "we have brought here one
that is dressed like a man, yet is no man, but a woman, and no ugly
one neither." Thereupon they lifted up to her eyes two or three
lanterns, and by their light discovered the face of a woman about
sixteen years of age, beautiful to admiration, with her hair put up in
a network caul of gold and green silk. Sancho was surprised at her
beauty, and asked her who she was, whither she was going, and upon
what account she had put on such a dress. "Sir," said she, casting her
eyes on the ground with a decent bashfulness, "I cannot tell you
before so many people what I have so much reason to wish may be kept a
secret. Only this one thing I do assure you, I am no thief, nor
evil-minded person, but an unhappy maid, whom the force of jealousy
has constrained to transgress the laws of decorum." The steward
hearing this, "My lord governor," said he, "be pleased to order your
attendants to retire, that the gentlewoman may more freely tell her
mind." The governor did accordingly; and all the company removed to a
distance, except the steward, the gentleman-waiter, and the secretary;
and then the young lady thus proceeded:
"I am the daughter of Pedro Perez Mazorca, farmer of the wool in this
town, who comes very often to my father's house." "This will hardly
pass, madam," said the steward; "for I know Pedro Perez very well, and
he has neither son nor daughter; besides, you tell us he is your
father, and yet that he comes very often to your father's house." "I
observed as much," said Sancho. "Indeed, gentlemen," said she, "I am
now so troubled in mind, that I know not what I say; but the truth is,
I am the daughter of Diego de la Llana, whom I suppose you all know."
"Now this may pass," said the steward; "for I know Diego de la Llana,
who is a very considerable gentleman, has a good estate, and a son and
a daughter. But since his wife died, nobody in this town can say he
ever saw that daughter; for he keeps her so close, that he hardly
suffers the sun to look on her; though indeed the common report is,
that she is an extraordinary beauty." "You say very true, sir,"
replied the young lady; "and I am that very daughter. As for my
beauty, if fame has given you a wrong character of it, you will now
be undeceived, since you have seen my face;" and with this she burst
out into tears. The secretary, perceiving this, whispered the
gentleman-waiter in the ear: "Sure," said he, "some extraordinary
matter must have happened to this poor young lady, since it could
oblige one of her quality to come out of doors in this disguise."
"That is without question," answered the other; "for her tears, too,
confirm the suspicion." Sancho comforted her with the best reasons he
could think on, and bid her not be afraid, but tell them what had
befallen her.
"You must know, gentlemen," said she, "that it is now ten years that
my father has kept me close--ever since my mother died. We have a
small chapel in the house, where we hear mass; and in all that time I
have seen nothing but the sun by day, and the moon and stars by night;
neither do I know what streets, squares, market-places, and churches
are; no, nor men, except my father, my brother, and that Pedro Perez
the wool-farmer, whom I at first would have passed upon you for my
father. This confinement (not being allowed to stir abroad, though but
to go to church) has made me uneasy this great while, and made me long
to see the world, or at least the town where I was born, which I
thought was no unlawful or unseemly desire. When I heard them talk of
feasts, prizes, acting of plays, and other public sports, I asked my
brother, who is a year younger than I, what they meant by those
things, and a world of others, which I have not seen; and he informed
me as well as he could; but that made me but the more eager to be
satisfied by my own eyes. In short, I begged of my brother--I wish I
never had done it----" And here she relapsed into tears. The steward
perceiving it, "Come, madam," said he, "pray proceed, and make an end
of telling us what has happened to you; for your words and your tears
keep us all in suspense." "I have but few more words to add," answered
she, "but many more tears to shed; for they are commonly the fruit of
such imprudent desires."
Thereupon, with broken sobs and half-fetched sighs, "Sir," said she,
"all my misfortune is, that I desired my brother to lend me some of
his clothes, and that he would take me out some night or other to see
all the town, while our father was asleep. Importuned by my
entreaties, he consented; and, having lent me his clothes, he put on
mine, which fit him as if they had been made for him. So this very
night, about an hour ago, we got out; and being guided by my father's
footboy, and our own unruly desires, we took a ramble over the whole
town; and as we were going home, we perceived a great number of people
coming our way; whereupon said my brother, 'Sister, this is certainly
the watch; follow me, and let us not only run, but fly as fast as we
can; for if we should be known, it will be the worse for us.' With
that, he fell a-running as fast as if he had wings to his feet. I
fell a-running too; but was so frightened, that I fell down before I
had gone half-a-dozen steps; and then a man overtook me, and brought
me before you and this crowd of people, by whom, to my shame, I am
taken for an ill creature--a bold, indiscreet night-walker." All this
was afterwards confirmed by her brother, who was now brought by some
of the watch, one of whom had at last overtaken him, after he had left
his sister. He had nothing on but a very rich petticoat, and a blue
damask manteau, with a gold galloon; his head without any ornament but
his own hair, that hung down in natural curls like so many rings of
gold. The governor, the steward, and the gentleman-waiter took him
aside; and after they had examined him apart, why he had put on that
dress, he gave the same answer his sister had done, and with no less
bashfulness and concern; much to the satisfaction of the
gentleman-waiter, who was much smitten with the young lady's charms.
As for the governor, after he had heard the whole matter, "Truly,
gentlefolks," said he, "here is a little piece of childish folly; and
to give an account of this wild frolic and slip of youth, there needed
not all these sighs and tears, nor those hems, and ha's, and long
excuses. Could not you, without any more ado, have said our names are
so and so, and we stole out of our father's house for an hour or two,
only to ramble about the town, and satisfy a little curiosity; and
there had been an end of the story, without all this weeping and
wailing?" "You say very well," said the young damsel; "but you may
imagine that, in the trouble and fright I was in, I could not behave
myself as I should have done." "Well," said Sancho, "there is no harm
done; go along with us, and we will see you home to your father's;
perhaps you may not yet be missed. But have a care how you gad abroad
to see fashions another time. Do not be too venturesome; an honest
maid should be still at home, as if she had one leg broken. A hen and
a woman are lost by rambling; and she that longs to see, longs also to
be seen. I need say no more."
The young gentleman thanked the governor for his civility, and then
went home under his conduct. Being come to the house, the young spark
threw a little stone against one of the iron-barred windows; and
presently a maid-servant, who sat up for them, came down, opened the
door, and let him and his sister in.
The governor, with his company, then continued his rounds, talking all
the way as they went of the genteel carriage and beauty of the brother
and sister, and the great desire these poor children had to see the
world by night.
As for the gentleman-waiter, he was so passionately in love, that he
resolved to go the next day and demand her of her father in marriage, not
doubting but the old gentleman would comply with him, as he was one of
the duke's principal servants. On the other side, Sancho had a great mind
to strike a match between the young man and his daughter Sanchica; and
he resolved to bring it about as soon as possible--believing no man's son
could think himself too good for a governor's daughter.