_Of the second instruction Don Quixote gave Sancho Panza._
During the whole of this private conference, Sancho listened to his
master with great attention, and endeavoured so to register his
counsel in his mind that he might thereby be enabled to bear the
burden of government, and acquit himself honourably. Don Quixote now
proceeded:
"As to the regulation of thy own person and domestic concerns," said
he, "in the first place, Sancho, I enjoin thee to be cleanly in all
things. Keep the nails of thy fingers neatly pared, nor suffer them to
grow as some do, who ignorantly imagine that long nails beautify the
hand, whereas it is a foul and unsightly object.
"Examine prudently the income of thy office, and, if it will afford
thee to give liveries to thy servants, give them such as are decent
and lasting, rather than gaudy and modish; and what thou shalt thus
save in thy servants bestow on the poor: so shalt thou have attendants
both in heaven and earth,--a provision which our vain-glorious great
never think of.
"Eat neither garlic nor onions, lest the smell betray thy rusticity.
Walk with gravity, and speak deliberately; but not so as to seem to be
listening to thyself; for affectation is odious.
"Eat little at dinner, and less at supper; for the health of the whole
body is tempered in the laboratory of the stomach.
"Drink with moderation; for inebriety neither keeps a secret, nor
performs a promise.
"In the next place, Sancho, do not intermix in thy discourse such a
multitude of proverbs as thou wert wont to do; for, though proverbs
are concise and pithy sentences, thou dost often so drag them in by
the head and shoulders that they seem rather the maxims of folly than
of wisdom.
"Let thy sleep be moderate; for he who rises not with the sun enjoys
not the day; and remember, Sancho, that diligence is the mother of
good fortune, and that sloth, her adversary, never arrived at the
attainment of a good wish.
"At this time I have but one more admonition to give thee, which,
though it concerns not thy person, is well worthy of thy careful
remembrance. It is this,--never undertake to decide contests
concerning lineage, or the pre-eminence of families; since, in the
comparison, one must of necessity have the advantage, and he whom thou
hast humbled will hate thee, and he who is preferred will not reward
thee.
"As for thy dress, wear breeches and hose, a long coat, and a cloak
somewhat longer; but for trousers or trunk-hose, think not of them:
they are not becoming either gentlemen or governors.
"This is all the advice, friend Sancho, that occurs to me at present;
hereafter, as occasions offer, my instructions will be ready, provided
thou art mindful to inform me of the state of thy affairs."
"Sir," answered Sancho, "I see very well that all your worship has
told me is wholesome and profitable; but what shall I be the better
for it if I cannot keep it in my head? It is true, I shall not easily
forget what you said about paring my nails, and marrying again if the
opportunity offered; but for your other quirks and quillets, I protest
they have already gone out of my head as clean as last year's clouds;
and therefore let me have them in writing; for, though I cannot read
them myself, I will give them to my confessor, that he may repeat and
drive them into me in time of need."
"Heaven defend me!" said Don Quixote, "how scurvy doth it look in a
governor to be unable to read or write! Indeed, Sancho, I must needs
tell thee that when a man has not been taught to read, or is
left-handed, it argues that his parentage was very low, or that, in
early life, he was so indocile and perverse that his teachers could
beat nothing good into him. Truly this is a great defect in thee, and
therefore I would have thee learn to write, if it were only thy name."
"That I can do already," quoth Sancho; "for, when I was steward of
the brotherhood in our village, I learned to make certain marks like
those upon wool-packs, which, they told me, stood for my name. But, at
the worst, I can feign a lameness in my right hand, and get another to
sign for me: there is a remedy for everything but death; and, having
the staff in my hand, I can do what I please. Besides, as your worship
knows, he whose father is mayor----and I being governor, am, I trow,
something more than mayor. Ay, ay, let them come that list, and play
at bo-peep,--ay, fleer and backbite me; but they may come for wool,
and go back shorn: 'his home is savoury whom God loves;'--besides,
'the rich man's blunders pass current for wise maxims;' so that I,
being a governor, and therefore wealthy, and bountiful to boot--as I
intend to be--nobody will see any blemish in me. No, no, let the clown
daub himself with honey, and he will never want flies. As much you
have, just so much you are worth, said my grannam; revenge yourself
upon the rich who can." "Away with your proverbs," exclaimed Don
Quixote; "this hour, or more, thou hast been stringing thy musty
wares, poisoning and torturing me without mercy. Take my word for it,
these proverbs will one day bring thee to the gallows. However, I am
comforted in having given thee the best counsel in my power; and
therein, having done my duty, I am acquitted both of my obligation and
my promise: so God speed thee, Sancho, and govern thee in thy
government, and disappoint my fears for thy turning all things upside
down in that poor island; which I might indeed prevent, by giving the
duke a more perfect insight into thee, and discovering to him thou art
nothing better than a bundle of proverbs, and sackful of knavery."
"Look you, sir," quoth Sancho, "if you think me not fit for this
government, I will think no more on it. Alas! the least snip of my
soul's nails (as a body may say) is dearer to me than my whole body;
and I hope I can live plain Sancho still, upon a luncheon of bread and
a clove of garlic, as contented as Governor Sancho upon capons and
partridges. Death and sleep make us all alike, rich and poor, high and
low. Do but call to mind what first put this whim of government into
my noddle, you will find it was your own self; for, as for me, I know
no more what belongs to islands and governors than a blind buzzard. So
if you fancy the devil will have me for being a governor, let me be
plain Sancho still, and go to heaven, rather than my lord governor,
and go to hell."
"These last words of thine, Sancho," said Don Quixote, "in my opinion,
prove thee worthy to govern a thousand islands. Thou hast naturally a
good disposition, without which all knowledge is insufficient.
Recommend thyself to Divine Providence, and be sure never to depart
from uprightness of intention; I mean, have still a firm purpose and
design to be thoroughly informed in all the business that shall come
before thee; and act upon just grounds, for Heaven always favours good
desires. And so let us go to dinner; for I believe now the duke and
duchess expect us."