_Wherein is recorded the wonderful and inconceivable adventure of the
afflicted Duenna, or the Countess of Trifaldi; and likewise Sancho
Panza's letter to his wife Teresa Panza._
The whole contrivance of the last adventure was the work of the duke's
steward; a man of a humorous and facetious turn of mind. He it was who
composed the verses, instructed a page to perform the part of
Dulcinea, and personated himself the shade of Merlin. Assisted by the
duke and duchess, he now prepared another scene still more
entertaining than the former.
The next day the duchess inquired of Sancho if he had begun his
penance for the relief of his unhappy lady. "Ay, truly, I have," said
he; "for the last night I gave myself five lashes." The duchess
desired to know how he had given them. "With the palm of my hand,"
said he. "That," replied the duchess, "is rather clapping than
whipping, and I am of opinion Signor Merlin will not be so easily
satisfied. My good Sancho must get a rod of briers or of whipcord, for
letters written in blood cannot be disputed, and the deliverance of a
great lady like Dulcinea is not to be purchased with a song." "Give me
then, madam, some rod or bough," quoth Sancho, "and I will use it, if
it does not smart too much." "Fear not," answered the duchess, "it
shall be my care to provide you with a whip that shall suit you
exactly, and agree with the tenderness of your flesh as if it were its
own brother." "But now, my dear lady," quoth Sancho, "you must know
that I have written a letter to my wife Teresa Panza, giving her an
account of all that has befallen me since I parted from her;--here it
is in my bosom, and it wants nothing but the name on the outside. I
wish your discretion would read it, for methinks it is written like a
governor--I mean in the manner that governors ought to write." "And
who indited it?" demanded the duchess. "Who should indite it but I
myself, sinner as I am?" replied Sancho. "And did you write it too?"
said the duchess. "No, indeed," answered Sancho; "for I can neither
read nor write, though I can set my mark." "Let us see it," said the
duchess; "for I dare say it shews the quality and extent of your
genius." Sancho took the letter out of his bosom, unsealed, and the
duchess read as follows:--
_Sancho Panza's Letter to his wife Teresa Panza._
"If I have been finely lashed, I have been finely mounted up; if I
have got a good government, it has cost me many good lashes. This, my
dear Teresa, thou canst not understand at present; another time thou
wilt. Thou must know, Teresa, that I am determined that thou shalt
ride in thy coach, which is somewhat to the purpose; for all other
ways of going are no better than creeping upon all fours, like a cat.
Thou shalt be a governor's wife: see then whether any body will dare
to tread on thy heels. I here send thee a green hunting-suit, which my
lady duchess gave me; fit it up so that it may serve our daughter for
a jacket and petticoat. They say in this country that my master Don
Quixote is a sensible madman and a pleasant fool, and that I am not a
whit behind him. We have been at Montesinos' cave; and the sage
Merlin, the wizard, has pitched upon me to disenchant the Lady
Dulcinea del Toboso, who among you is called Aldonza Lorenzo. When I
have given myself three thousand and three hundred lashes, lacking
five, she will be free from enchantment. Say nothing of this to any
body; for, bring your affairs into council, and one will cry it is
white, another it is black. A few days hence I shall go to the
government, whither I go with a huge desire to get money; and I am
told it is the same with all new governors. I will first see how
matters stand, and send thee word whether or not thou shalt come to
me. Dapple is well, and sends thee his hearty service; part with him I
will not, though I were to be made the great Turk. The duchess, my
mistress, kisses thy hands a thousand times over; return her two
thousand; for, as my master says, nothing is cheaper than civil words.
God has not been pleased to throw in my way another portmanteau, and
another hundred crowns, as once before; but, one way or another, thou
art sure to be rich and happy.
"Thy husband the governor,
"SANCHO PANZA.
"From this castle, the 20th of July, 1614."
The duchess, having read the letter, said to Sancho: "In two things
the good governor is a little out of the way; the one in saying, or
insinuating, that this government is conferred on him on account of
the lashes he is to give himself; whereas he cannot deny that, when my
lord duke promised it to him, nobody dreamt of lashes: the other is,
that he appears to be covetous, and I hope no harm may come of it; for
avarice bursts the bag, and the covetous governor doeth ungoverned
justice." "Truly, madam, that is not my meaning," replied Sancho; "and
if your highness does not like this letter, it is but tearing it, and
writing a new one, which mayhap may prove worse, if left to thy
mending." "No, no," replied the duchess; "this is a very good one, and
the duke shall see it."
They then repaired to a garden where they were to dine that day; and
there Sancho's letter was shewn to the duke, who read it with great
pleasure. After dinner, as Sancho was entertaining the company with
some of his relishing conversation, they suddenly heard the dismal
sound of an unbraced drum, accompanied by a fife. All were surprised
at this martial and doleful harmony, especially Don Quixote, who was
so agitated that he could scarcely keep his seat. As for Sancho, it is
enough to say that fear carried him to his usual refuge, which was the
duchess's side, or the skirts of her petticoat; for the sounds which
they heard were truly dismal and melancholy. While they were thus held
in suspense, two young men clad in mourning robes trailing upon the
ground, entered the garden, each of them beating a great drum, covered
also with black; and with these a third playing on the fife, in
mourning like the rest. These were followed by a personage of gigantic
stature, enveloped in a robe of the blackest dye, the train whereof
was of immoderate length, and over it he wore a broad black belt, in
which was slung a mighty scimitar, enclosed within a sable scabbard.
His face was covered by a thin black veil, through which might be
discovered a long beard, white as snow. He marched forward, regulating
his steps to the sound of the drums, with much gravity and
stateliness. In short, his dark robe, his enormous bulk, his solemn
deportment, and the funereal gloom of his figure, together with his
attendants, might well produce the surprise that appeared on every
countenance. With all imaginable respect and formality he approached
and knelt down before the duke, who received him standing, and would
in no wise suffer him to speak till he rose up. The monstrous
apparition, then rising, lifted up his veil, and exposed to view his
fearful length of beard--the longest, whitest, and most luxuriant that
ever human eyes beheld; when, fixing his eyes on the duke, in a voice
grave and sonorous, he said, "Most high and potent lord, my name is
Trifaldin of the White Beard, and I am squire to the Countess
Trifaldi, otherwise called the Afflicted Duenna, from whom I bear a
message to your highness, requesting that you will be pleased to give
her ladyship permission to approach, and relate to your magnificence
the unhappy and wonderful circumstances of her misfortune. But first,
she desires to know whether the valorous and invincible knight, Don
Quixote de la Mancha, resides at this time in your castle; for in
quest of him she has travelled on foot, and fasting, from the kingdom
of Candaya to this your territory; an exertion miraculous and
incredible, were it not wrought by enchantment. She is now at the
outward gate of this castle, and only waits your highness's invitation
to enter." Having said this, he hemmed, stroked his beard from top to
bottom, and with much gravity and composure stood expecting the duke's
answer, which was to this effect: "Worthy Trifaldin of the White
Beard, long since have we been apprised of the afflictions of my lady
the Countess Trifaldi, who, through the malice of enchanters, is too
truly called the Afflicted Duenna; tell her, therefore, that she may
enter, and that the valiant knight Don Quixote de la Mancha is here
present, from whose generous assistance she may safely promise herself
all the redress she requires." Trifaldin, on receiving the duke's
answer, bent one knee to the ground; then giving a signal to his
musical attendants, he retired, leaving all in astonishment at the
majesty of his figure and deportment.
The duke, then turning to Don Quixote, said, "It is evident, sir
knight, that neither the clouds of malice nor of ignorance can obscure
the light of your valour and virtue: behold, the afflicted and
oppressed flock hither in quest of you from far distant countries;
such is their confidence in the strength of that arm, the fame whereof
spreads over the whole face of the earth!" "I wish, my lord duke,"
answered Don Quixote, "that holy person who, but a few days since,
expressed himself with so much acrimony against knights-errant were
now here, that he might have ascertained, with his own eyes, whether
or not such knights were necessary in the world. Let the afflicted
lady come forward and make known her request, and, be it whatever it
may, she may rely on the strength of this arm, and the resolute
courage of my soul."