_Which treats of many and great matters._
Sancho was overjoyed to find himself so much in the duchess's favour,
flattering himself that he should fare no worse at her castle than he
had done at Don Diego's and Basil's houses; for he was ever a cordial
friend to a plentiful way of living, and therefore never failed to
take such opportunities by the forelock wherever he met them. Now
before they got to the castle, the duke rode away from them, to
instruct his servants how to behave themselves toward Don Quixote; so
that no sooner did the knight come near the gates, than he was met by
two of the duke's lackeys, in long vests of fine crimson satin, who,
suddenly taking him in their arms, lifted him from his horse without
any further ceremony.
And now, being entered into a large court-yard, there came two
damsels, who threw a long mantle of fine scarlet over Don Quixote's
shoulders. In an instant, all the galleries about the court-yard were
crowded with men and women, the domestics of the duke, who cried out,
"Welcome, the flower and cream of knight-errantry!" Then they
sprinkled bottles of scented water upon Don Quixote, the duke, and the
duchess; all which agreeably surprised the Don, and persuaded him his
knight-errantry was indeed more than mere fancy; for he found himself
treated just as he had read that the brothers of the order were
entertained in former ages.
They were now led up a stately staircase, and then into a noble hall,
sumptuously hung with rich gold brocade. Here his armour was taken off
by six young damsels, that served him instead of pages, all of them
fully instructed by the duke and duchess how to behave themselves
towards Don Quixote so, that he might look on his entertainment as
conformable to those which the famous knights-errant received of old.
Don Quixote then retired and dressed himself, put on his belt and
sword, threw his scarlet cloak over his shoulders, and clapped on a
cap of green velvet, which had been left him by the damsels. Thus
accoutred, he was led with great pomp, some of the attendants walking
before and some behind, into the supper-apartment, where a table was
magnificently set out for four people.
As soon as he approached, the duke and the duchess came as far as the
door to receive him, and with them a grave ecclesiastic, one of those
that live in and govern great men's houses.
After a thousand courtly compliments on all sides, Don Quixote at last
approached the table, between the duke and the duchess; and here arose
a contest; for the knight, being offered the upper end of the table,
thought himself obliged to decline it. However, he could not withstand
the duke's pressing importunities, but was forced at last to comply.
The parson sat right against him, and the duke and the duchess on each
side.
Sancho stood by all the while, gaping with wonder to see the honour
done his master; and observing how many ceremonies passed, and what
entreaties the duke used to prevail with him to sit at the upper end
of the table, "With your worship's good leave," quoth he, "I will tell
you what happened once in our town, in reference to this stir and ado
that you have had now about places." The words were scarce out of his
mouth, when Don Quixote began to tremble, as having reason to believe
he was about to say some impertinent thing or other. Sancho had his
eyes upon him, and, presently understanding his motions, "Sir," quoth
he, "don't fear; I won't be unmannerly, I warrant you. I will speak
nothing but what shall be to the purpose; I havn't so soon forgot the
lesson you gave me about talking sense or nonsense, little or much."
"I don't know what thou meanest," said Don Quixote; "say what thou
wilt, so thou do it quickly." "Well," quoth Sancho, turning to the
duke, "what I am going to tell you is every tittle true. Should I trip
never so little in my story, my master is here to take me up, and give
me the lie." "Prithee," said Don Quixote, "trip as much as thou wilt
for me; I won't be thy hindrance; but take heed, however, what thou
sayest." "Nay, nay," quoth Sancho, "let me alone for that; I have
heeded it and reheeded it over and over, and that you shall see, I
warrant you." "Truly, my lord," said Don Quixote, "it were convenient
that your grace should order this fellow to be turned out of the room,
for he will plague you with a thousand impertinences." "Oh! as for
that, you must excuse us," said the duchess; "Sancho must not stir a
step; I'll engage for him, he shall say nothing but what is proper."
"Many and many proper years," quoth Sancho, "may your grace live,
madam duchess, for your good opinion of me, though it is more your
goodness than my desert. Now then for my tale.
"Once on a time a gentleman, of a good estate and family, for he was
of the blood of the Alamos of Medina del Campo, and married one Donna
Mencia de Quinones, who was the daughter of Don Alonzo de Maranon, a
knight of the order of St. Jago, the very same that was drowned in the
Herradura, about whom that quarrel happened formerly in our town, in
which I heard say, that my master, Don Quixote was embroiled, and
little Tom, the mad-cap, who was the son of old Balvastro the farrier,
happened to be sorely hurt----Is not all this true now, master? Speak
the truth, that their worships' graces may know that I am neither a
prater nor a liar." "Thus far," said the clergyman, "I think thou art
the first rather than the latter; I can't tell what I shall make of
thee by and by." "Thou producest so many witnesses, Sancho," said Don
Quixote, "and mentionest so many circumstances, that I must needs own
I believe what thou sayest to be true. But go on, and shorten thy
story; for as thou beginnest, I'm afraid thou'lt not have done these
two days." "Pray, don't let him shorten it," said the duchess; "let
him go on his own way, though he were not to make an end of it these
six days; I shall hear him with pleasure, and think the time
pleasantly employed." "This same gentleman, then," continued Sancho,
"I know him as well as I know my right hand from my left, for it is
not a bow-shot from my house to his; this gentleman, I say, invited a
husbandman to dine with him, who was a poor man, but main honest"----
"On, friend," said the chaplain; "at the rate you proceed, your tale
won't reach its end before you reach the other world." "A little more
of your Christian patience, good doctor," quoth Sancho. "Now this same
husbandman, as I said before, coming to this same gentleman's house,
who had given him the invitation,--Heaven rest his soul, poor heart!
for he is now dead and gone; and more than that, they say he died the
death of an angel. For my part, I was not by him when he died, for I
was gone to harvest-work at that very time, to a place called
Temblique." "Prithee, honest friend," said the clergyman, "leave your
harvest-work, and come back quickly from Temblique, without staying
to bury the gentleman, unless you have a mind to occasion more
funerals; therefore, pray make an end of your story." "You must know
then," quoth Sancho, "that as they two were ready to sit down at
table,--I mean the husbandman and the gentleman----Methinks I see them
now before my eyes plainer than ever I did in my born days,--The
husbandman would not sit till the gentleman had taken his place; but
the gentleman made him a sign to put himself at the upper end. 'By no
means, sir,' quoth the husbandman. 'Sit down,' said the other. 'Good
your worship,' quoth the husbandman. 'Sit where I bid thee,' said the
gentleman. Still the other excused himself and would not; and the
gentleman told him he should, as meaning to be master in his own
house. But the over-mannerly looby, fancying he should be hugely well
bred and civil in it, scraped, and cringed, and refused, till at last
the gentleman, in a great passion, even took him by the shoulders, and
forced him into the chair. 'Sit there, clodpate,' cried he; 'for let
me sit wherever I will, that still will be the upper end, and the
place of worship to thee.' And now you have my tale, and I think I
have spoke nothing but what is to the purpose."
Don Quixote's face was flushed with anger and shame, so that the duke
and duchess were obliged to check their mirth when they perceived
Sancho's roguery, that Don Quixote might not be put too much out of
countenance. And therefore to turn the discourse, that Sancho might
not run into other fooleries, the duchess asked Don Quixote what news
he had of the Lady Dulcinea, and how long it was since he had sent her
any giants or robbers for a present, not doubting but that he had
lately subdued many such. "Alas! madam," answered he, "my misfortunes
have had a beginning, but I fear will never have an end. I have
vanquished giants, elves, and cut-throats, and sent them to the
mistress of my soul, but where shall they find her? She is enchanted,
madam, and transformed to the ugliest piece of rusticity that can be
imagined." "I don't know, sir," quoth Sancho; "when I saw her last,
she seemed to be the finest creature in the varsal world; thus far, at
least, I can safely vouch for her upon my own knowledge, that for
activity of body and leaping, the best tumbler of them all does not go
beyond her. Upon my honest word, madam duchess, she will vault from
the ground upon her ass like a cat." "Have you seen her enchanted?"
said the duke. "Seen her!" quoth Sancho; "and who was the first that
hit upon this trick of her enchantment, think you, but I? She is as
much enchanted as my father."
The churchman hearing them talk of giants, elves, and enchantments,
began to suspect this was Don Quixote de la Mancha, whose history the
duke so often used to read, though he had several times reprehended
him for it, telling him it was a folly to read such follies. Being
confirmed in his suspicion, he addressed himself very angrily to the
duke. "My lord," said he, "your grace will have a large account to
give one day for encouraging this poor man's follies. I suppose this
same Don Quixote, or Don Quite Sot, or whatever you are pleased to
call him, cannot be quite so besotted as you endeavour to make him, by
giving him such opportunities to run on in his fantastical humours?"
Then directing his discourse to Don Quixote, "Hark ye," said he,
"Signor Addlepate. Who has put it into your head that you are a
knight-errant, and that you vanquish giants and robbers? Go, go, get
you home again, look after your children, if you have any, and what
honest business you have to do, and leave wandering about the world,
building castles in the air, and making yourself a laughing-stock to
all that know you, or know you not. Where have you found that there
ever has been, or are now, any such things as knights-errant? Where
will you meet with giants in Spain, or monsters in La Mancha? Where
shall one find your enchanted Dulcineas, and all those legions of
whimsies and chimeras that are talked of in your account, but in your
own empty skull?"
Don Quixote gave this reverend person a hearing with great patience.
But at last, seeing him silent, without minding his respect to the
duke and duchess, up he started with indignation and fury in his
looks, and said----But his answer deserves a chapter by itself.