_Of the pleasant and curious scrutiny which the Curate and the Barber
made of the library of our ingenious gentleman._
The knight was yet asleep, when the curate came, attended by the
barber, and desired his niece to let him have the key of the room
where her uncle kept his books, the author of his woes: she readily
consented; and so in they went, and the housekeeper with them. There
they found above an hundred large volumes neatly bound, and a good
number of small ones. As soon as the housekeeper had spied them out,
she ran out of the study, and returned immediately with a holy-water
pot and a sprinkler: "Here, doctor," cried she, "pray sprinkle every
cranny and corner in the room, lest there should lurk in it some one
of the many sorcerers these books swarm with, who might chance to
bewitch us, for the ill-will we bear them, in going about to send them
out of the world." The curate could not forbear smiling at the good
woman's simplicity; and desired the barber to reach him the books one
by one, that he might peruse the title-pages, for perhaps he might
find some among them that might not deserve this fate. "Oh, by no
means," cried the niece; "spare none of them; they all help, somehow
or other, to crack my uncle's brain. I fancy we had best throw them
all out at the window in the yard, and lay them together in a heap,
and then set them on fire, or else carry them into the back-yard, and
there make a pile of them, and burn them, and so the smoke will offend
nobody." The housekeeper joined with her, so eagerly bent were both
upon the destruction of those poor innocents; but the curate would not
condescend to those irregular proceedings, and resolved first to read
at least the title-page of every book.
The first that Mr. Nicholas put into his hands was Amadis de Gaul, in
four volumes. "There seems to be some mystery in this book's being the
first taken down," cried the curate, as soon as he had looked upon it;
"for I have heard it is the first book of knight-errantry that ever
was printed in Spain, and the model of all the rest; and therefore I
am of opinion, that, as the first teacher and author of so pernicious
a sect, it ought to be condemned to the fire without mercy." "I beg a
reprieve for him," cried the barber; "for I have been told 'tis the
best book that has been written in that kind; and therefore, as the
only good thing of that sort, it may deserve a pardon." "Well then,"
replied the curate, "for this time let him have it. Let's see that
other, which lies next to him." "These," said the barber, "are the
exploits of Esplandian, the son of Amadis de Gaul." "Verily," said the
curate, "the father's goodness shall not excuse the want of it in the
son. Here, good mistress housekeeper, open that window, and throw it
into the yard, and let it serve as a foundation to that pile we are to
set a blazing presently." She was not slack in her obedience; and thus
poor Don Esplandian was sent headlong into the yard, there patiently
to wait the time of punishment.
"To the next," cried the curate. "This," said the barber, "is Amadis
of Greece; and I'm of opinion that all those that stand on this side
are of the same family." "Then let them all be sent packing into the
yard," replied the curate. They were delivered to the housekeeper
accordingly, and many they were; and to save herself the labour of
carrying them down stairs, she fairly sent them flying out at the
window.
"What overgrown piece of lumber have we here?" cried the curate.
"Olivante de Laura," returned the barber. "The same author wrote the
Garden of Flowers; and, to deal ingeniously with you, I cannot tell
which of the two books has most truth in it, or, to speak more
properly, less lies: but this I know for certain, that he shall march
into the back-yard, like a nonsensical arrogant blockhead as he is."
"The next," cried the barber, "is Florismart of Hyrcania." "How! my
Lord Florismart, is he here?" replied the curate: "nay, then truly, he
shall e'en follow the rest to the yard, in spite of his wonderful
birth and incredible adventures; for his rough, dull, and insipid
style deserves no better usage. Come, toss him into the yard, and this
other too, good mistress."
"Here's the noble Don Platir," cried the barber. "'Tis an old book,"
replied the curate, "and I can think of nothing in him that deserves a
grain of pity: away with him, without any more words;" and down he
went accordingly.
Another book was opened, and it proved to be the Knight of the Cross.
"The holy title," cried the curate, "might in some measure atone for
the badness of the book; but then, as the saying is, _The devil lurks
behind the cross_! To the flames with him."
Then opening another volume, he found it to be Palmerin de Oliva, and
the next to that Palmerin of England. "Ha, have I found you!" cried
the curate. "Here, take that Oliva, let him be torn to pieces, then
burnt, and his ashes scattered in the air; but let Palmerin of England
be preserved as a singular relic of antiquity; and let such a costly
box be made for him as Alexander found among the spoils of Darius,
which he devoted to enclose Homer's works: for I must tell you,
neighbour, that book deserves particular respect for two things;
first, for its own excellencies; and, secondly, for the sake of its
author, who is said to have been a learned king of Portugal: then all
the adventures of the Castle of Miraguarda are well and artfully
managed, the dialogue very courtly and clear, and the decorum strictly
observed in equal character, with equal propriety and judgment.
Therefore, Master Nicholas," continued he, "with submission to your
better advice, this and Amadis de Gaul shall be exempted from the
fire; and let all the rest be condemned, without any further inquiry
or examination." "By no means, I beseech you," returned the barber,
"for this which I have in my hands is the famous Don Bellianis."
"Truly," cried the curate, "he, with his second, third, and fourth
parts, had need of a dose of rhubarb to purge his excessive choler:
besides, his Castle of Fame should be demolished, and a heap of other
rubbish removed; in order to which I give my vote to grant them the
benefit of a reprieve; and as they shew signs of amendment, so shall
mercy or justice be used towards them: in the mean time, neighbour,
take them into custody, and keep them safe at home; but let none be
permitted to converse with them." "Content," cried the barber; and to
save himself the labour of looking on any more books of that kind, he
bid the housekeeper take all the great volumes, and throw them into
the yard. This was not spoken to one stupid or deaf, but to one who
had a greater mind to be burning them, than weaving the finest and
largest web: so that laying hold of no less than eight volumes at
once, she presently made them leap towards the place of execution.
"But what shall we do with all these smaller books that are left?"
said the barber. "Certainly," replied the curate, "these cannot be
books of knight-errantry, they are too small; you will find they are
only poets." And so opening one, it happened to be the Diana of
Montemayor; which made him say, (believing all the rest to be of that
stamp) "These do not deserve to be punished like the others, for they
neither have done, nor can do, that mischief which those stories of
chivalry have done, being generally ingenious books, that can do
nobody any prejudice." "Oh! good sir," cried the niece, "burn them
with the rest, I beseech you; for should my uncle get cured of his
knight-errant frenzy, and betake himself to the reading of these
books, we should have him turn shepherd, and so wander through the
woods and fields; nay, and what would be worse yet, turn poet, which
they say is a catching and incurable disease." "The gentlewoman is in
the right," said the curate; "and it will not be amiss to remove that
stumbling-block out of our friend's way; and since we began with the
Diana of Montemayor, I am of opinion we ought not to burn it, but only
take out that part of it which treats of the magician Felicia and the
enchanted water, as also all the longer poems; and let the work escape
with its prose, and the honour of being the first of that kind."
"Here," quoth the barber, "I've a book called the Ten Books of the
Fortunes of Love, by Anthony de Lofraco, a Sardinian poet." "Now we
have got a prize," cried the curate, "I do not think since Apollo was
Apollo, the muses muses, and the poets poets, there ever was a more
humorous, more whimsical book! Of all the works of the kind commend me
to this, for in its way 'tis certainly the best and most singular that
ever was published; and he that never read it may safely think he
never in his life read any thing that was pleasant." With that he laid
it aside with extraordinary satisfaction; and the barber went on: "The
next," said he, "is the Shepherd of Filida." "He's no shepherd,"
returned the curate, "but a very discreet courtier; keep him as a
precious jewel." "Here's a bigger," cried the barber, "called the
Treasure of divers Poems." "Had there been less of it," said the
curate, "it would have been more esteemed. 'Tis fit the book should be
pruned and cleared of some inferior things that encumber and deform
it: keep it, however, because the author is my friend, and for the
sake of his other more heroic and lofty productions. What's the next
book?" "The Galatea of Miguel de Cervantes," replied the barber. "That
Cervantes has been my intimate acquaintance these many years," cried
the curate; "and I know he has been more conversant with misfortunes
than with poetry. His book, indeed, has I don't know what, that looks
like a good design; he aims at something, but concludes nothing:
therefore we must stay for the second part, which he has promised us;
perhaps he may make us amends, and obtain a full pardon, which is
denied him for the present; till that time keep him close prisoner at
your house." "I will," quoth the barber: "but see, I have here three
more for you, the Araucana of Don Alonso de Ercilla; the Austirada of
Juan Ruffo, a magistrate of Cordova; and the Monserrato of Christopher
de Virves, a Valentian poet." "These," cried the curate, "are the best
heroic poems we have in Spanish, and may vie with the most celebrated
of Italy: reserve them as the most valuable performances which Spain
has to boast of in poetry."
At last the curate grew so tired with prying into so many volumes,
that he ordered all the rest to be burnt at a venture. But the barber
shewed him one which he had opened by chance ere the dreadful sentence
was past. "Truly," said the curate, who saw by the title it was the
Tears of Angelica, "I should have wept myself, had I caused such a
book to share the condemnation of the rest; for the author was not
only one of the best poets in Spain, but in the whole world, and
translated some of Ovid's fables with extraordinary success."