Personal Experience
In conclusion I desire to add my humble testimony of a personal
experience of the glorious work of entire sanctification.
At the age of seventeen years I was converted. All who were acquainted
with me had no reason to doubt the genuine, inwrought grace of pardon
and the new life which at once began to bring forth fruit unto God. But
the one to whom this mighty change seemed the most marvelous was myself.
My poor soul, which for several years had been held under the terrible
bondage and darkness of sin, was now turned from darkness unto light and
from the power of Satan unto God, and there was no room either
internally or externally to question that I had received forgiveness of
sins. The glory and blessedness of that sacred hour and that hallowed
spot "when love divine first found me" can never be erased from my
memory. I will not say, as I have often heard others testify of their
own, that my experience was more wonderful than that of anyone else, but
I do not see how it could have been any more wonderful to me than it
was, and it is but useless to make an effort to tell it. All who have
come into this precious life, and have the Spirit bearing witness with
our spirit that we are the children of God, understand what it means to
be justified by faith and have this sweet peace with God through our
Lord Jesus Christ.
But this peace with God meant war with the enemy of my soul, and I soon
learned that the battle was a serious one. The artful schemes of the
enemy were deeply planned for my overthrow, and while attending school
the spirit of the world succeeded in leading me into defeat, and I
decided to yield myself again unto the world, and gave up the struggle
against sin. But oh, what darkness! God only knows what horrors I
suffered. I had been saved but a few months and had had the taste of
true happiness which so spoiled me for the empty pleasures of sin that I
was often so wretched and miserable that life was a burden. But thank
God, this condition of life was only of about two month's duration.
Through the burning tears of my precious mother, which fairly bathed my
face and neck one day as she suddenly came into my room and clasped her
arms around me, I was enabled again to decide for God and heaven. This
decision was so thoroughly burned in upon my soul by those scalding
tears that, by the grace of God, I believe it will last from that day to
my latest breath. The sweet joy and peace of heaven was restored and I
believe I enjoyed salvation as much as anyone could in my circumstances.
I knew I was a child of God, but it was not long until I became fully
conscious that there was a deeper work of grace needed within me. My
parents both professed entire sanctification at the time of the
conversion of the four oldest children, which included myself, but my
life was much occupied in securing an education, and having but limited
opportunities I was absorbed mostly with my studies, then afterward
became engaged in educational work for a number of years. It needed no
arguments to prove that my parents possessed a deeper spiritual life
than I did, and although the doctrine of sanctification was not so
clearly taught and understood then as now, yet I was fully aware this
was what I needed. Sometimes I thought I had obtained the experience,
but soon it was proved by unmistakable evidence that I was not
sanctified. I had not come to the point of a definite and absolute
consecration, and really did not understand how to make this
consecration. My great ambition in life was to make a mark in the world.
This was so deeply implanted within me that I caused every energy to
bend in that direction. I dearly loved God and fully realized my utter
dependence upon him, but my love was not perfected. Then unfortunately I
had a quick temper, which I found justification had not destroyed. It
was materially repressed and generally held under control, but it was
there and needed only the provocation to assert its presence; and
sometimes, I am sorry to say, it brought me under condemnation and I had
cause to repent and regain the sweet peace of God.
But the manner of my life, I believe, as a whole, was such that none of
my most intimate acquaintances had any reason to question the sincerity
of my heart or my profession as a Christian. The one who was most
dissatisfied with my inward condition was myself, and for more than
eight years I knew that a deeper work must be wrought before I could be
satisfied. Oh, how truly I could understand the prayer of David when he
so longed for a clean heart; and had I been brought to the knowledge of
the complete consecration, I might have been living in this blessed
Canaan rest of soul soon after my conversion. But God was good and full
of tender mercy. He carried me along and forgave my defeats and so
lovingly bore with me, even though my heart was divided between him and
some things of this world. I had forsaken all that I had to follow
Jesus, but unconsciously these objects would come between Jesus, the
object of my love, and myself, and thus hinder the perfect communion of
the Holy Spirit. About one year prior to my entering into this perfect
rest, the doctrine of sanctification was quite thoroughly agitated. Some
advocates of the Zinzendorf doctrine produced some strong efforts to
overthrow the doctrine of the second work of grace. I had studied the
scriptures carefully and honestly, and while I did not have the
experience of the second grace myself, I was certain that the one-work
teaching was not correct; for I knew I had received all that my heart
could receive in the grace of pardon, and knew also that I soon found
that I needed just exactly what the term sanctification implies, and
what the dear ones who believed in and were advocating the second work
of grace were testifying to by word and deed.
In the winter of 1883-4, while dear companion and myself were engaged
with some sanctified ones in a protracted meeting, to rescue the
perishing, we were brought as never before face to face with the stern
necessity of more spiritual power and life. We were shown by the Holy
Spirit that there is but one route to the promised land and that is by
crossing the Jordan. Death was inevitable if we would come into this
abundant life. We paused and reflected, looked backward and forward, but
there was no alternative--death was our doom. One day while I was absent
from home, and dear companion was left alone, the Lord spoke to her so
plainly that she had one cherished idol that must necessarily be
sacrificed. It was a God-given blessing, but must be yielded freely to
him. She obeyed and entered into the glory of sanctification. When I
returned home I soon found that the work in her was done. Something
marvelous had been accomplished. It was wonderful what a change. She
told me of the death she had to pass through and I fully realized it.
The divine glory which had come into her heart was unspeakable. She
tried to show me how to die the same death. I was desirous to yield and
cross over with her, but I found a resistance in my will which held me
back. I came to my cherished treasures, some of which were God-given
blessings, but unquestionably the Holy Spirit said they must be yielded
up a burnt offering unto the Lord. My will must become swallowed up into
the will of God completely, even to this death. I said, "Yes, Lord, I
will"; but the yes found a hesitancy. It did not reach the depths of my
heart. I kept saying it over and over--"Yes, Lord"--and tried to get it
deeper every time I said it; but the Lord knew it did not reach the
inmost depths. That was a wonderful day to me, but it was not the day of
my death, as it was of my companion. She told in meeting that evening
what the Lord had wrought. I told what I was trying to say to the
Lord--"Thy will be done."
Time passed by and I still hesitated. I wanted the Lord's perfect will,
but also wanted just a little of my will. I wanted both, but the Lord
showed that I could have but one; and I plainly knew which one, if I was
ever to obtain the grace of sanctification. The life of my companion was
a daily testimony which only added to my trouble. I knew she had what
she never had before. Her life before was all that I ever expected to
find in a true, devoted, Christian woman, but now in some marvelous
manner there was vastly more heaven in her life than before, and the
marked absence of everything unlike heaven. I knew she was sanctified,
and I knew I was not. She had just what I must have, and what my soul
was longing for these years. Oh, why could I not just now say "Yes!"
with my whole heart and die the death and gain the abundant life?
Sometimes I was under such conviction that I felt miserable. I asked God
to forgive me for not yielding up my whole heart as I knew he would have
me do.
* * * * *
Weeks and months passed and my attention became absorbed in business and
the cares of life, but these months were more unsatisfactory than all my
previous Christian life, and some of this time I certainly lived on a
very low plane of spirituality, and it is evident that I at last came to
the point where my justification would have been forfeited had I not
gone over and possessed the land. I struggled and suffered sometimes
unutterably. After the struggle was over and I was sanctified I could
look back and see where I had come up to a deep chasm so deep and dark
that I could not see the bottom. It was too wide for me to step across.
On the other side was everything my soul longed for. I could see the
beautiful plane and way of sanctification. My loved ones were walking on
it and rejoicing in its glory. Above the chasm there seemed suspended a
rope securely fastened and strong enough to hold my weight, and it
seemed that I could easily take hold of this rope and by a desperate
effort swing myself across the chasm. I had taken hold of the rope and
was for a long time hesitating about making the leap. The chasm was the
depth I must drop into in order to reach sanctification, but it seemed
awful--so deep and dark, and no assurance that I would ever see life
again. The rope was my will. I had presumed to swing across without
going into the death, but God knew that would not be his way, and there
I stood, gazing with fear and trembling into the immensity of this dark
chasm into which to leap meant certain death. Later I had taken hold of
the rope and swung myself away from where I had been standing, with the
hope of reaching the other side. I could not reach it and now was worse
off than before, for I was now suspended above the chasm and could
neither go back nor go forward. There I was hanging and swinging,
holding on for life, and yet the Holy Spirit kept saying, "Let go."
My sufferings increased until I began to feel that death would be a
relief. At that time God sent a brother to us who preached a sermon from
the text, 1 Peter 4:1, 2, with emphasis upon the clause, "For he that
hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin." The Holy Spirit
applied this to me and revealed to my soul the utter necessity of death
to gain sanctification. The end came, I let go my death grip of the rope
and said as I never said before, "Yes, Lord, thy will be done!" I knew
that it reached the uttermost depth of my soul. God knew it, and I am
certain that Satan knew it. At the close of that meeting I said, "I am
now offered up." There was no conscious change only I knew my will was
yielded, and I am certain that not an atom of earth existed between God
and me. We went home late in the evening, and as I was retiring I knelt
once more before God and simply told him that now after these months of
struggle it was all ended and I was so thankful to him that I could say
so sweetly, "Thy will be done." My hold upon the rope had become so
weary. How sweet and blessed now to rest so securely in that infinite
will. The great chasm was deep and dark, but I was so glad that I had
let go and dropped into it; for I was so conscious now that even in the
darkness and depths I was in his will. As I dropped, loving arms of
Jesus had caught me and I was glad to be in death with him. I felt
within me that something wonderful was about to take place. I arose from
my knees and scarcely had time to lie down when truly I experienced a
taste of death. Wholly unconscious of my earthly surroundings, but
knowing I was in the presence of Jesus, I believe a death was wrought
within me, after which the baptism of pentecostal fire and the Holy
Ghost came upon me. The refining fire went through my very body and the
effect seemed terrible. The sublime consciousness of the presence of
heaven and the majesty of God was such as mortal tongue can never
describe. Then following the distinct baptism of fire the floodgates of
heaven's glory were opened upon me, and, oh, the heavenly deluge that
followed can be realized only by those who have experienced the same.
More than sixteen years have passed since this wonderful event, and
while the emotions of feeling have been varied through the labors and
toils of a busy life (both in business life, and twelve years in the
gospel ministry), I can testify to the glory of God that the power and
victory in this blessed second grace has been all-sufficient. The word
of God, now I found, was full of sanctification, and my new experience
spoiled me for any arguments against the doctrine as a second work of
grace, and in due time I could plainly see that according to the word of
God and the plan of redemption it must be an experience subsequent to
justification. The conscious presence of the indwelling Holy Spirit and
the knowledge of a pure heart in this precious grace is what we need
continually in this battle against the powers of the enemy.
Brother and sister, have you had your Pentecost? If not, tarry at
Jerusalem. "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray
God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the
coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who
also will do it."--1 Thess. 5:23, 24.
* * * * *
Transcriber's Note
Minor punctuation errors have been corrected without notice. A few
obvious typographical errors have been corrected and are listed below.
Page 3: "The Holy Spirit of Promise" page number changed from "23" to
"25".
Page 8: "It is indispensible" changed to "It is indispensable".
Page 17: "the words "having" signifying" changed to "the word "having"
signifying".
Page 36: "than should no place" changed to "then should no place".
Page 45: "so deeply inbedded" changed to "so deeply embedded".
Page 62: "of ecclestiastical bondage" changed to "of ecclesiastical
bondage".
Page 62: "will in every individaul" changed to "will in every
individual".
Page 63: "throughly furnished unto all" changed to "thoroughly furnished
unto all".
Pages 77-78: "made "perfect his death" changed to "made "perfect" by his
death".
Page 85: "sanctificed condition" changed to "sanctified condition".
Page 90: "Chapter XIV" changed to "Chapter XIII".
Page 95: "no consicous change only" changed to "no conscious change only".