Cortin looked at the red crossed daggers on her sleeve. "I'm Special
Ops, Captain, and I've been told I'll be going face to face with
Shayan. That has to mean it's my death that'll signal the Protector's
arrival. So no, I don't expect to see His earthly Kingdom."
Watkins nodded. "I understand, Excellency. But I'll pray for it
anyway."
"I'd appreciate that. Something else I was told was that piety was
crucial--spread the word, would you?"
"Of course." Watkins hesitated. "What about--what you just said, that
you'll have to face Shayan yourself?"
Cortin shrugged. "If it had to be kept secret, I wouldn't have been
able to say anything about it. Say what you want." She took a deep
breath. "I'd rather not think about it any more right now, though, so
would you mind if we change the subject? This breakfast looks and
smells too good to spoil with that sort of discussion."
"As you say, Excellency." Watkins thought for a moment, then cocked
his head. "I've heard Your Excellency is fond of animals?"
"Yes--why?"
"Because I have some six-week-old kittens I'm trying to find homes for.
They aren't purebred, though."
"Neither am I," Cortin said. "Yes, I'd like one--two, if that isn't
being greedy."
"Two is fine. Whenever you have time to come by and pick them out."
"How about as soon as we're done here?"
"My pleasure, Excellency."
* * * * *
For the first time since learning to drive, Cortin was glad that her
rank meant she sat in back while someone else drove. She'd ended up
with three of the kittens, and they were currently playing tag around
her lap and shoulders, with occasional forays to Odeon. He didn't seem
to object to their touch, and once he even seemed to smile for a second
when the orange tiger-striped one purred in his ear. He hadn't worked
up to stroking them yet, but she hoped that would only be a matter of
time; animals were supposed to be good therapy, as well as being fun.
Even the kittens, it seemed, couldn't distract her completely from
Mike's problem. He needed help too badly for her to ignore it long,
especially when he was right there beside her! He'd helped her when
she was hurting; why in God's Name wouldn't he let her help him? She
hadn't planned on saying anything, but--"Mike, you must know I'm
willing--eager!--to do anything in my power for you."
"I do know," he said. "Blast it, Joanie, you can't think I enjoy
feeling this way--afraid of intimacy with any of you!"
"I don't think that at all," she said quietly. "I just wish I could
convince you--you must know you can't contaminate us. You're Sealed,
Shayan can't corrupt you! Sis and I both know it feels that way, but
being victimized doesn't make you any less of a person."
He was silent so long she didn't think he was going to answer, but
eventually he said, "Intellectually, I understand that. It's my
feelings that're the problem."
"Yes, they are." Cortin paused. "Have you considered taking the
advice you gave me once? Offer the hurt to God. You're Sealed to the
Protector, His priest as well as Jeshua's; if you ask, I'm sure one or
both Aspects will help you gladly."
"I've done that, of course. So far it hasn't worked." He glanced at
her, then looked down at the kitten. "Joanie, it's not just what
Shayan did to me. That's most of it, but . . ."