CODDLE. Don't scream so, Eglantine. It's impossible you should know it.
EGLANTINE. Know what, papa?
CODDLE. That I'm cured of my deafness. I can hear!
EGLANTINE. What! Is it possible?
CODDLE. Yes, cured miraculously by that wonderful aurist, with his
electro-magnetico--no, no; electro-galvanico--no, no; pshaw! no matter.
He's cured me in a flash!
EGLANTINE (_shouts_). O papa! How delightful!
CODDLE (_covering his ears_). Softly, my darling, softly. You kill me!
I hear almost too well. You deafen me. My hearing is now abnormal;
actually abnormal, it is so acute.
EGLANTINE (_aside_). Perhaps _he_ can be cured, then. (_Shouts._)
Dearest papa, you cannot conceive how delighted I am.
CODDLE. Whisper, Eglantine, for Heaven's sake! You, torture me!
EGLANTINE (_shouts_). Yes, papa.
CODDLE. Sh--sh--for mercy's sake!
EGLANTINE (_softly_). Forgive me, papa, it's habit. O papa, I've seen
him!
CODDLE (_aside_). I hear every word. Seen whom?
EGLANTINE. The gentleman you have chosen for my husband.
CODDLE. Husband? Oh, ah! I'd forgotten him. (_Aside._) I really am
cured!
EGLANTINE. Poor young man! I was miserable at first. I cried, oh, so
hard!
CODDLE. Darling, you mustn't cry any more.
EGLANTINE. No, papa, I won't, for I like him extremely now. He's so
handsome, and so amiable! I've met him before.
CODDLE. Tut, tut, child! I'll see him hanged first.
EGLANTINE. What? Why, papa, you _asked_ him to marry me, Jane says.
CODDLE. Yes, when I was deaf. Now, however--what! marry my darling to a
deaf man? Never!
EGLANTINE. O papa, you are cured: perhaps he can be cured in the same
way.
CODDLE. Impossible! He's too deaf. I never knew a worse case.
EGLANTINE. The doctor might try.
CODDLE. Impossible, I tell you. Besides, he's gone away.
EGLANTINE. Let's send after him.
CODDLE. Not another word, my love, about that horrible deaf fellow! I
asked him to dine here to-day, like an old ass; but I'll pack him off
immediately after.
EGLANTINE (_angrily_). Another offer thrown away! Papa, you will kill
me with your cruelty. (_Weeps._)
CODDLE. Pooh, darling, I've another, much better offer on hand.
I got a letter this morning from my friend Pottle. His favorite
nephew--charming fellow.
EGLANTINE (_sobbing_). I won't take him.
CODDLE. Eglantine, a capital offer, I tell you. Capital! Young,
brilliant, rich.
EGLANTINE. I won't take him! I won't take him! I won't take him!
(_Stamps._)