ON THE STAGE.
Yellow-cap opened his eyes, which felt dry and hot. It was indeed
Silvia, who was laughing, and bidding him wake up, for it was past
eight o'clock in the morning. And where had Yellow-cap passed the
night? Underneath the table in the inn parlour, where that
extraordinary meeting of the Seven Brethren had taken place. As
Yellow-cap got slowly to his feet he pressed both hands to his head,
which felt like a newly-roasted chestnut, with the kernel loose
inside; but the yellow cap was still fast about his brows. He longed
to take it off and put his head under the pump; but that luxury, he
knew, was now and hereafter forbidden him.
'Where are the other fellows?' he asked, turning to Silvia. 'They
jumped through the fiery eye----'
'Through what, your Lordship?' cried Silvia, opening her eyes very
wide.
'Through that,' said Yellow-cap, pointing to the end of the room where
the mysterious mirror hung. But, to his great perplexity, there was to
be seen there only a very common-place old looking-glass, made in
three compartments, and mounted in a tarnished frame. In the light of
the morning sun, which was pouring through the dusty window-panes, it
looked not at all like an eye, and it was absurd to suppose that
anybody could have jumped through it.
'Things always look so different in the morning,' remarked Silvia
good-humouredly. 'But, if it please your Lordship, I am sent by the
Brethren to say that they are waiting for you in the front room.'
Yellow-cap felt not at all in the mood to lead a conspiracy; but still
he tried to put a good face upon the matter. 'Lead on!' said he; and
Silvia opened the door and went before him across a small enclosed
yard to another door, on which she tapped; and Yellow-cap, passing in,
found himself once more in the presence of his six friends. They were
eating devilled bones, and were dressed in long white dominoes. Each
had a playbook beside his plate, and they were apparently studying
their parts for the morning performance.
'Good morning! Fine day for the deposition,' said Gyp, acting as
spokesman for the rest. 'Have a bone?'
'I have no appetite,' replied Yellow-cap. 'Why are you all dressed in
white?'
'So that we may be the blacker inside,' said Ruba, looking up from his
book.
'It is the court-dress of conspirators,' added Dubb.
'We are clothed in the unwritten pages of history,' continued Dubsix.
'We shall be red hereafter,' said Menin, archly.
'Because we rose against the tyrant,' concluded Atub, with a sigh.
'They are apt to be rather stupid at this hour in the morning,'
remarked Gyp, turning to Yellow-cap, 'but they will get warmed to it
presently. May I ask whether you are perfect in your part?'
'I have not thought of any rhyme to "Ormund,"' said Yellow-cap.
'Any rhyme will do,' Gyp went on; 'and perhaps the Home or the
Foreign Doggerel will be able to help you to one when the time comes.'
'Brethren,' said Yellow-cap, clearing his throat, 'I propose we put
off this affair until to-morrow. I don't feel at all well this
morning; and besides, a thing like this ought to be done after dark,
not in broad daylight.'
Hereupon the six Brethren looked at one another and gave a low
whistle; and after a pause Gyp said--
'This day is the only day in the year on which conspiracies are
allowed to take place, and they are not permitted later than ten
o'clock in the forenoon. But I may mention that the theatre is always
darkened, and is lighted by artificial means.'
'I do not understand,' said Yellow-cap, 'how a conspiracy can succeed,
if the people who are conspired against fix the time when it is to
come off.'
'What sort of an audience should we get,' replied Gyp, 'if the date of
the performance was not advertised beforehand? We should find
ourselves playing to empty boxes. Besides, conspiracies are costly;
and if----'
'If you please,' said Silvia, opening the door, 'it is just upon nine
o'clock, and the donkey waits.'
'We come!' said all the Brethren together, They rose up, put their
play-books in their pockets, and joining hands so as to form a circle,
with Gyp and Yellow-cap in the middle of it, they rapidly repeated
five times over the following mystic chant, Gyp beating time for them
with the forefinger of his right hand on the five fingers of his
left:--
Ruba--Dubb--Dubsix--Menin--Atub--Chorus--Gyp!
This having been duly performed, Gyp, with an air of great respect,
took Yellow-cap by the arm and led him out to the street, the other
five Brethren following behind. Yellow-cap, who had by this time
almost ceased feeling surprised at anything, did not find it
especially wonderful that the donkey which was in waiting was the same
on which he had ridden the evening before, and that its driver was the
same half-witted youth who had given him such useful information about
the passwords. This youth grinned and ducked his head when he saw
Yellow-cap, and held the stirrup for him to mount.
As Yellow-cap did so the thought occurred to him that perhaps he might
get a chance to gallop away down some side-street, and so make his
escape even at the last moment; for it must be confessed that he did
not feel much courage for this adventure. Much to his disappointment,
however, no sooner was he in the saddle than the donkey-driver took
hold of the donkey's bridle on one side and Silvia on the other; and
in this way they set out.
'Why are you coming with us, Silvia?' Yellow-cap asked, after they had
gone a little way. 'Are you one of the conspirators?'
'No, your Lordship, not exactly,' she replied; 'but I usually take the
part of Columbine, and sometimes lead the ballet.'
'So it's to be a pantomime, is it?' thought Yellow-cap. 'I wonder what
the grand transformation scene will be like?'
Then he turned to the donkey-driver, who was plodding along with a
vacant grin upon his features, and asked him what part he had to play.
'Oh, please your Worship,' he replied, 'I'm to be the Clown; and that
young woman,' pointing to Silvia, 'is to be my sweetheart, if I can
catch her.'
'And I'm to be Harlequin, I suppose,' said Yellow-cap to himself.
'Well, I'm sure I begin to feel like one.'
Meanwhile they had entered the chief street of the town, which led to
the Drury Lane Theatre. This was a handsome building of white marble,
with columns and a sculptured frieze; it was the model which the
Greeks long afterwards followed when they built their Parthenon. A
great multitude of people were collected in front of the pit and
gallery entrances; and when they caught sight of Yellow-cap they set
up a great buzzing and murmuring, mingled with shouts and huzzas and
waving of hats and handkerchiefs.
'There he is! that's him!' cried the people one to another. 'That's
him on the grey charger, with the captive prince and princess
a-leading of him along. Oh, ain't he a swell!'
'Hurry up, guv'nor, or you'll be late!' shouted others; and indeed as
Yellow-cap looked up at the clock which was placed in the pediment of
the theatre he saw that it marked five minutes to ten.
'Hadn't we better move a little faster?' he said anxiously to Silvia.
'And how are we ever to get through all this crowd?'
'Oh, we have time enough,' she answered very unconcernedly. 'And,
since we must go in by the stage-door, the crowd won't hinder us.'
As she spoke they turned down a narrow alley to the left, and soon
came to a small entrance in the side of the building. Through this the
donkey quietly walked, and up a flight of steps to an inner
passageway. Before he knew where he was Yellow-cap found himself on an
immense stage, at the further side of which was standing King Ormund
himself, surrounded by a group of courtiers. The courtiers were all
enveloped in long white dominoes, the sight of which caused Yellow-cap
to look behind him with a sudden misgiving. He had supposed until this
moment that the six Brethren were following behind him; but he now
discovered that, except for Silvia and the half-witted donkey-driver,
he was quite alone.
'What has become of them?' he cried in dismay.
'There they are,' said Silvia coolly, pointing to the group of
courtiers. 'Where else should they be?'
'They have deserted me, then?'
'Not at all; but as the conspiracy is all on your account it is only
fair that you should take all the risks. If the conspiracy were to
fail, and they were to have their heads cut off, there could be no
conspiracy next year; but if only you are executed your cap would be
saved, and there would be no difficulty about finding some one else to
wear it.'
'Upon my word,' muttered Yellow-cap to himself rather angrily,
'however this matter goes I am resolved that I will not lose my head
before making those six rascals shake in their shoes. Courtiers
indeed! We shall see.'
At this moment the curtain drew up and showed the vast audience
crowding every part of the theatre. A great clapping of hands and
stamping of feet followed, and there were several catcalls and
whistlings from the pit and gallery. Almost every member of the
audience was provided with a programme headed, '_Grand Annual
Pantomime: the Conspiracy_,' and containing a list of the performers.
Attendants were also moving about hawking librettos of the dialogue.
Familiar though Yellow-cap had become with marvels, he could not help
wondering how anybody could know what he was going to say. He
certainly did not know himself.
The audience had now become silent--not a sound was to be heard in the
theatre except the occasional rustle of a programme. Yellow-cap
dismounted from his donkey, which remained on the stage in the care of
the driver, and walked towards the King. His Majesty was eyeing him
very closely. The great clock outside the building struck ten. The
King and Yellow-cap saluted each other, and Yellow-cap said--
'I hope I have not kept your Majesty waiting.'
'Not at all,' the monarch replied. 'But, stay! surely I cannot be
mistaken. Are not you the gallant prince whom I had the pleasure of
meeting yesterday, and who vanished so strangely just when we were
about to exchange hats?'
'Your Majesty's memory is not at fault,' Yellow-cap answered.
'Bless my soul! my dear fellow,' the King exclaimed with much
heartiness, 'allow me to give you a hug!'
At this there was a great outburst of applause from the audience,
which his Majesty acknowledged by bowing and smiling. After it was
over he continued--
'And now tell me, where on earth did you vanish to? I could have sworn
you were beside me--when, almost while I was looking at you, you were
gone; and in your place was a dirty, impertinent varlet who tried to
snatch my crown out of my very hands.'
'Indeed. An audacious fellow, truly!'
'Ah, but he got his deserts. Ha! I flatter myself he will never again
try _that_ game. No, by my faith!'
'What did you do to him?'
'I grappled with him, and, after a tremendous struggle, I managed to
get him by the throat and bowed him backwards to the earth. I say "to
the earth," because the villains who should have upheld my platform
had let it fall. Never mind--I had all their heads before
supper-time.'
'And the robber?'
'There was not much left of him,' replied his Majesty, with a hearty
laugh. 'After I had strangled him I flung his carcass to my retainers,
who made mincemeat of it in no time. But all this is by the way. You
have not told me what became of you.'
Now, Yellow-cap had a good imagination; and seeing that the King had
made up a clever story, he resolved to do his best to tell another as
good.
'Your Majesty must know,' he said, 'that among my other modest gifts I
include that of making myself invisible at pleasure and transporting
myself to distant places by the force of a wish. Just at the moment
when we were about to exchange hats I happened to remember that I had
important business elsewhere; and since I had a long way to go, and
very little time to go in, I was obliged to leave your Majesty without
ceremony. But, as you see, I have lost no time in again presenting
myself before you.'
There was a round of applause at this speech, but neither so long nor
so loud as at that of the King.
'I hope we may not again be parted,' said his Majesty graciously. 'In
fact, I really don't know what I should have done without you.'
Here Yellow-cap felt a gentle pull at his sleeve, and looking round he
saw that Silvia was holding out to him a small slip of paper. He took
it from her, and read the following words which had been written upon
it:--
'A rhyme to King Ormund.'
The King had noticed this transaction, and immediately asked--
'What have you got there?'
'A rhyme to King Ormund,' replied Yellow-cap, repeating the words
which he had read without thinking of the effect they might have upon
his hearer. But the audience took the point immediately, and the
clapping of hands and stamping were this time both loud and long.
And now something happened which Yellow-cap could not at first
understand. The King hummed-and-hah'ed and looked rather embarrassed,
but said nothing, and by and by began searching in his pockets as if
he had mislaid something. The audience saw that something was wrong,
and catcalls and whistling and impertinent remarks were heard from all
parts of the house. The King turned red, and stood first on one foot
and then on another; and at last he muttered between his teeth--
'I'll have that prompter's head cut off!'
'If your Majesty will allow me,' said Silvia, coming forward, 'I can
tell you what comes next.' And she whispered a few words in his ear.
'Ah! of course--of course!' exclaimed the King, looking much relieved.
'I have had hardly any time to study my part; and I hope,' he added,
turning to the audience, 'that you will excuse me.' 'Go it, old boy!'
sang out somebody from the gallery. The King pulled down his ruffles
and went on.
'"A rhyme to King Ormund, eh?" Dear me! Then you are one of the
conspirators?'
'I have that honour,' replied Yellow-cap. 'In fact, I am the chief of
them; and I can, if you like, tell you the names of the others,' he
added, glancing at the Prime Maniac and his companions.
'You must not say that,' said Silvia in a low voice, twitching his
sleeve again; 'it isn't in your part.'
'I shall take my own part,' returned Yellow-cap, loud enough to be
heard all over the theatre, 'and do what I like with it.'
'That's the talk!' called out a man from the pit. 'Give it 'em,
youngster, and we'll see fair play.'
'Well, you have got the best of me,' said the King, shrugging his
shoulders good-humouredly, 'and I have only one regret.'
'What may that be?' Yellow-cap inquired.
'Only that, since you _have_ got the best of me, I am prevented from
enjoying the pleasure I had looked forward to of making you my
successor. But, after all, it comes to the same thing in the end--for
you, at any rate. And things being as they are, of course they could
not be otherwise. Come--despatch!' And so saying the venerable monarch
wrapped his mantle round his head and struck an heroic attitude.
'What are you waiting for? Let him have it!' whispered Silvia at
Yellow-cap's elbow.
But Yellow-cap thought there was no need of hurrying; so he put the
bit of paper in his pocket and said, gently pulling the King's mantle
from before his face--
'My dear King, pray let us understand each other. I am sure that we
can manage this thing without any trouble to either of us. As you
yourself say, what need is there for me to be a usurper, if I can be a
successor?'
'Ah, it's very kind of you to think of that,' replied the King,
shaking his head; 'but I couldn't be guilty of such inhospitality as
to hinder a stranger from carrying out so capital a plot. No--say no
more. I see how it is. You have taken a great deal of trouble about
this conspiracy, and so far you have managed it very well. I shall not
interfere with your triumph for the sake of a selfish whim of my own.
Never, my dear boy, never! My spirit is too royal to stoop to such
meanness. And I think it unkind of you to expect such a thing of me;
and if you don't stop it I shall have to tell the executioner to cut
off your head.'
'That last argument of yours is a strong one, and rather than drive
you to such extremities I would let you have it your own way,' said
Yellow-cap. 'But still I think this affair can be arranged. All I
want, you see, is to sit on your throne; to make a rhyme to your name,
and to trample you under the feet of the metrical system. Have nothing
to do with that. Come, oblige me this once, and I will do as much for
you the next time.'
The King stroked his long white beard thoughtfully.
'The fact is,' he said at length, 'I am rather in a muddle about the
whole business. If it had been a simple pantomime I could have seen
through it; but this combination of two rival performances in one is
beyond me. Let me consider. Hum! Ha! I have it. Let us draw lots from
the donkey!'
'Draw lots from the donkey?' repeated Yellow-cap, puzzled in his turn.
'To be sure--the way we always do it--draw lots of hair, you know,
from the donkey's tail,' continued his Majesty, brightening up, and
turning back the ruffles from his wrists. 'The way it is done is this:
we each of us in turn pull out a handful; and the one that makes the
donkey kick first wins the match.'
'Very well,' said Yellow-cap, 'I agree, on condition that you take the
first pull.'
'Such courtesy shows the true prince,' replied the King, with a
pleased smile. 'I accept the favour as frankly as it was offered. Ho!
fellows, back the animal round there--give him plenty of room to
kick--so. Now, then, my lords and gentlemen, make a circle round us,
and mark his tail with care. And do you, Mr. Chancellor of the
Jingle, act as umpire.'
Everything having been thus arranged, and amidst a pause of breathless
interest, his Transparent Majesty King Ormund, Emperor of Great
Britain, France, and Ireland, and Defender of the Faith, advanced on
tiptoe towards the donkey, who, not suspecting what was to come, stood
with its hind quarters turned to him, its head being held fast by the
half-witted driver.
When within about two feet of the donkey's heels the monarch stopped,
and stretching out his arm, he grasped with his hand the long tuft of
hair which grew at the end of the animal's tail. Then by a sudden
motion he gave it such a tug as might almost have fetched the tail
itself out by the roots.
Without an instant's delay the donkey kicked out as if it wanted to
put its hoofs through the skylight in the roof of the theatre; but,
King Ormund's stomach happening to be in the way, that potentate was
lifted from the ground and made to pass through the air in a graceful
curve. He came down upon the upturned face of the Chancellor of the
Jingle (who was too busy with his duties as umpire to notice his
danger) and flattened him out upon the stage in such a way as to make
it quite impossible for him to give his decision.