If man had been left alone in this world at first, shall I think that he
would not have fallen? If there had been no woman, would not man have
served to have been his own tempter? When I see him now subject to
infinite weaknesses, fall into infinite sin without any foreign
temptations, shall I think he would have had none, if he had been alone?
God saw that man needed a helper, if he should be well; but to make
woman ill, the devil saw that there needed no third. When God and we
were alone in Adam, that was not enough; when the devil and we were
alone in Eve, it was enough. O what a giant is man when he fights
against himself, and what a dwarf when he needs or exercises his own
assistance for himself? I cannot rise out of my bed till the physician
enable me, nay, I cannot tell that I am able to rise till he tell me so.
I do nothing, I know nothing of myself; how little and how impotent a
piece of the world is any man alone? And how much less a piece of
himself is that man? So little as that when it falls out (as it falls
out in some cases) that more misery and more oppression would be an ease
to a man, he cannot give himself that miserable addition of more misery.
A man that is pressed to death, and might be eased by more weights,
cannot lay those more weights upon himself: he can sin alone, and suffer
alone, but not repent, not be absolved, without another. Another tells
me, I may rise; and I do so. But is every raising a preferment? or is
every present preferment a station? I am readier to fall to the earth,
now I am up, than I was when I lay in the bed. O perverse way, irregular
motion of man; even rising itself is the way to ruin! How many men are
raised, and then do not fill the place they are raised to? No corner of
any place can be empty; there can be no vacuity. If that man do not fill
the place, other men will; complaints of his insufficiency will fill it;
nay, such an abhorring is there in nature of vacuity, that if there be
but an imagination of not filling, in any man, that which is but
imagination, neither will fill it, that is, rumour and voice, and it
will be given out (upon no ground but imagination, and no man knows
whose imagination), that he is corrupt in his place, or insufficient in
his place, and another prepared to succeed him in his place. A man rises
sometimes and stands not, because he doth not or is not believed to fill
his place; and sometimes he stands not because he overfills his place.
He may bring so much virtue, so much justice, so much integrity to the
place, as shall spoil the place, burthen the place; his integrity may be
a libel upon his predecessor and cast an infamy upon him, and a burthen
upon his successor to proceed by example, and to bring the place itself
to an undervalue and the market to an uncertainty. I am up, and I seem
to stand, and I go round, and I am a new argument of the new philosophy,
that the earth moves round; why may I not believe that the whole earth
moves, in a round motion, though that seem to me to stand, when as I
seem to stand to my company, and yet am carried in a giddy and circular
motion as I stand? Man hath no centre but misery; there, and only there,
he is fixed, and sure to find himself. How little soever he be raised,
he moves, and moves in a circle giddily; and as in the heavens there are
but a few circles that go about the whole world, but many epicycles, and
other lesser circles, but yet circles; so of those men which are raised
and put into circles, few of them move from place to place, and pass
through many and beneficial places, but fall into little circles, and,
within a step or two, are at their end, and not so well as they were in
the centre, from which they were raised. Every thing serves to
exemplify, to illustrate man's misery. But I need go no farther than
myself: for a long time I was not able to rise; at last I must be raised
by others; and now I am up, I am ready to sink lower than before.