The love of liberty that had been burning in my bosom, had well nigh
gone out. I felt as though I was ready to die. The boat moved gently
from the wharf, and while she glided down the river, I realized that my
mother was indeed
"Gone,--gone,--sold and gone,
To the rice swamp dank and lone!"
After the boat was out of sight, I returned home; but my thoughts were
so absorbed in what I had witnessed, that I knew not what I was about
half of the time. Night came, but it brought no sleep to my eyes.
In a few days, the boat upon which I was to work being ready, I went on
board to commence. This employment suited me better than living in the
city, and I remained until the close of navigation; though it proved
anything but pleasant. The captain was a drunken, profligate,
hard-hearted creature, not knowing how to treat himself, or any other
person.
The boat, on its second trip, brought down Mr. Walker, the man of whom I
have spoken in a previous chapter, as hiring my time. He had between one
and two hundred slaves, chained and manacled. Among them was a man that
formerly belonged to my old master's brother, Aaron Young. His name was
Solomon. He was a preacher, and belonged to the same church with his
master. I was glad to see the old man. He wept like a child when he told
me how he had been sold from his wife and children.
The boat carried down, while I remained on board, four or five gangs of
slaves. Missouri, though a comparatively new State, is very much engaged
in raising slaves to supply the southern market. In a former chapter, I
have mentioned that I was once in the employ of a slave-trader, or
driver, as he is called at the south. For fear that some may think that
I have misrepresented a slave-driver, I will here give an extract from a
paper published in a slaveholding State, Tennessee, called the
"Millennial Trumpeter."
"Droves of negroes, chained together in dozens and scores, and
hand-cuffed, have been driven through our country in numbers far
surpassing any previous year, and these vile slave-drivers and dealers
are swarming like buzzards around a carrion. Through this county, you
cannot pass a few miles in the great roads without having every feeling
of humanity insulted and lacerated by this spectacle, nor can you go
into any county or any neighborhood, scarcely, without seeing or hearing
of some of these despicable creatures, called negro-drivers.
"Who is a negro-driver? One whose eyes dwell with delight on lacerated
bodies of helpless men, women and children; whose soul feels diabolical
raptures at the chains, and handcuffs, and cart-whips, for inflicting
tortures on weeping mothers torn from helpless babes, and on husbands
and wives torn asunder forever!"
Dark and revolting as is the picture here drawn, it is from the pen of
one living in the midst of slavery. But though these men may cant about
negro-drivers, and tell what despicable creatures they are, who is it, I
ask, that supplies them with the human beings that they are tearing
asunder? I answer, as far as I have any knowledge of the State where I
came from, that those who raise slaves for the market are to be found
among all classes, from Thomas H. Benton down to the lowest political
demagogue, who may be able to purchase a woman for the purpose of
raising stock, and from the Doctor of Divinity down to the most humble
lay member in the church.
It was not uncommon in St. Louis to pass by an auction-stand, and behold
a woman upon the auction-block, and hear the seller crying out, "_How
much is offered for this woman? She is a good cook, good washer, a good
obedient servant. She has got religion!_" Why should this man tell the
purchasers that she has religion? I answer, because in Missouri, and as
far as I have any knowledge of slavery in the other States, the
religious teaching consists in teaching the slave that he must never
strike a white man; that God made him for a slave; and that, when
whipped, he must not find fault,--for the Bible says, "He that knoweth
his master's will, and doeth it not, shall be beaten with many stripes!"
And slaveholders find such religion very profitable to them.
After leaving the steamer Otto, I resided at home, in Mr. Willi's
family, and again began to lay my plans for making my escape from
slavery. The anxiety to be a freeman would not let me rest day or night.
I would think of the northern cities that I had heard so much about;--of
Canada, where so many of my acquaintances had found refuge. I would
dream at night that I was in Canada, a freeman, and on waking in the
morning, weep to find myself so sadly mistaken.
"I would think of Victoria's domain,
And in a moment I seemed to be there!
But the fear of being taken again,
Soon hurried me back to despair."
Mr. Willi treated me better than Dr. Young ever had; but instead of
making me contented and happy, it only rendered me the more miserable,
for it enabled me better to appreciate liberty. Mr. Willi was a man who
loved money as most men do, and without looking for an opportunity to
sell me, he found one in the offer of Captain Enoch Price, a steamboat
owner and commission merchant, living in the city of St. Louis. Captain
Price tendered seven hundred dollars, which was two hundred more than
Mr. Willi had paid. He therefore thought best to accept the offer. I was
wanted for a carriage driver, and Mrs. Price was very much pleased with
the captain's bargain. His family consisted besides of one child. He had
three servants besides myself--one man and two women.
Mrs. Price was very proud of her servants, always keeping them well
dressed, and as soon as I had been purchased, she resolved to have a new
carriage. And soon one was procured, and all preparations were made for
a turn-out in grand style, I being the driver.
One of the female servants was a girl some eighteen or twenty years of
age, named Maria. Mrs. Price was very soon determined to have us united,
if she could so arrange matters. She would often urge upon me the
necessity of having a wife, saying that it would be so pleasant for me
to take one in the same family! But getting married, while in slavery,
was the last of my thoughts; and had I been ever so inclined, I should
not have married Maria, as my love had already gone in another quarter.
Mrs. Price soon found out that her efforts at this match-making between
Maria and myself would not prove successful. She also discovered (or
thought she had) that I was rather partial to a girl named Eliza, who
was owned by Dr. Mills. This induced her at once to endeavor the
purchase of Eliza, so great was her desire to get me a wife!
Before making the attempt, however, she deemed it best to talk to me a
little upon the subject of love, courtship, and marriage. Accordingly
one afternoon she called me into her room--telling me to take a chair
and sit down. I did so, thinking it rather strange, for servants are not
very often asked thus to sit down in the same room with the master or
mistress. She said that she had found out that I did not care enough
about Maria to marry her. I told her that was true. She then asked me if
there was not a girl in the city that I loved. Well, now, this was
coming into too close quarters with me! People, generally, don't like to
tell their love stories to everybody that may think fit to ask about
them, and it was so with me. But, after blushing awhile and recovering
myself, I told her that I did not want a wife. She then asked me, if I
did not think something of Eliza. I told her that I did. She then said
that if I wished to marry Eliza, she would purchase her if she could.
I gave but little encouragement to this proposition, as I was determined
to make another trial to get my liberty, and I knew that if I should
have a wife, I should not be willing to leave her behind; and if I
should attempt to bring her with me, the chances would be difficult for
success. However, Eliza was purchased, and brought into the family.