[Illustration: 316]
So cardinals, in like manner, if they did but consider that the church
supposes them to succeed in the room of the apostles; that therefore
they must behave themselves as their predecessors, and so not be lords,
but dispensers of spiritual gifts, of the disposal whereof they must one
day render a strict account: or if they would but reflect a little on
their habit, and thus reason with themselves, what means this white
upper garment, but only an unspotted innocence? What signifies my
inner purple, but only an ardent love and zeal to God? What imports my
outermost pall, so wide and long that it covers the whole mule when I
ride, nay, should be big enough to cover a camel, but only a diffusive
charity, that should spread itself for a succour and protection to all,
by teaching, exhorting, comforting, reproving, admonishing, composing of
differences, courageously withstanding wicked princes, and sacrificing
for the safety of our flock our life and blood, as well as our wealth
and riches; though indeed riches ought not to be at all possessed by
such as boast themselves successors to the apostles, who were poor,
needy, and destitute: I say, if they did but lay these considerations to
heart they would never be so ambitious of being created to this honour,
they would willingly resign it when conferred upon them, or at least
would be as industrious, watchful and laborious, as the primitive
apostles were. Now as to the popes of Rome, who pretend themselves
Christ's vicars, if they would but imitate his exemplary life, in the
being employed in an unintermitted course of preaching; in the being
attended with poverty, nakedness, hunger, and a contempt of this world;
if they did but consider the import of the word pope, which signifies
a father; or if they did but practice their surname of most holy, what
order or degrees of men would be in a worse condition? There would be
then no such vigorous making of parties, and buying of votes, in the
conclave upon a vacancy of that see: and those who by bribery, or other
indirect courses, should get themselves elected, would never secure
their sitting firm in the chair by pistol, poison, force, and violence.
How much of their pleasure would be abated if they were but endowed with
one dram of wisdom? Wisdom, did I say? Nay, with one grain of that salt
which our Saviour bid them not lose the savour of. All their riches,
all their honour, their jurisdictions, their Peter's patrimony, their
offices, their dispensations, their licences, their indulgences, their
long train and attendants (see in how short a compass I have abbreviated
all their marketing of religion); in a word, all their perquisites
would be forfeited and lost; and in their room would succeed watchings,
fastings, tears, prayers, sermons, hard studies, repenting sighs, and a
thousand such like severe penalties: nay, what's yet more deplorable,
it would then follow, that all their clerks, amanuenses, notaries,
advocates, proctors, secretaries, the offices of grooms, ostlers,
serving-men, pimps (and somewhat else, which for modesty's sake I shall
not mention); in short, all these troops of attendants, which depend on
his holiness, would all lose their several employments.
[Illustration: The Pope 320]
This indeed would be hard, but what yet remains would be more dreadful:
the very Head of the Church, the spiritual prince, would then be brought
from all his splendour to the poor equipage of a scrip and staff.
But all this is upon the supposition only that they understood what
circumstances they are placed in; whereas now, by a wholesome neglect
of thinking, they live as well as heart can wish: whatever of toil and
drudgery belongs to their office that they assign over to St. Peter, or
St. Paul, who have time enough to mind it; but if there be any thing of
pleasure and grandeur, that they assume to themselves, as being hereunto
called: so that by my influence no sort of people live more to their
own ease and content. They think to satisfy that Master they pretend to
serve, our Lord and Saviour, with their great state and magnificence,
with the ceremonies of instalments, with the tides of reverence and
holiness, and with exercising their episcopal function only in blessing
and cursing. The working of miracles is old and out-dated; to teach
the people is too laborious; to interpret scripture is to invade the
prerogative of the schoolmen; to pray is too idle; to shed tears is
cowardly and unmanly; to fast is too mean and sordid; to be easy and
familiar is beneath the grandeur of him, who, without being sued to
and intreated, will scarce give princes the honour of kissing his toe;
finally, to die for religion is too self-denying; and to be crucified as
their Lord of Life, is base and ignominious. Their only weapons ought to
be those of the Spirit; and of these indeed they are mighty liberal,
as of their interdicts, their suspensions, their denunciations, their
aggravations, their greater and lesser excommunications, and their
roaring bulls, that fright whomever they are thundered against; and
these most holy fathers never issue them out more frequently than
against those, who, at the instigation of the devil, and not having the
fear of God before their eyes, do feloniously and maliciously attempt to
lessen and impair St. Peter's patrimony: and though that apostle tells
our Saviour in the gospel, in the name of all the other disciples, we
have left all, and followed you, yet they challenge as his inheritance,
fields, towns, treasures, and large dominions; for the defending
whereof, inflamed with a holy zeal, they fight with fire and sword,
to the great loss and effusion of Christian blood, thinking they are
apostolical maintainers of Christ's spouse, the church, when they have
murdered all such as they call her enemies; though indeed the church has
no enemies more bloody and tyrannical than such impious popes, who give
dispensations for the not preaching of Christ; evacuate the main effect
and design of our redemption by their pecuniary bribes and sales;
adulterate the gospel by their forced interpretations, and undermining
traditions; and lastly, by their lusts and wickedness grieve the Holy
Spirit, and make their Saviour's wounds to bleed anew.
[Illustration: 324]
Farther, when the Christian church has been all along first planted,
then confirmed, and since established by the blood of her martyrs, as if
Christ her head would be wanting in the same methods still of protecting
her, they invert the order, and propagate their religion now by arms
and violence, which was wont formerly to be done only with patience
and sufferings. And though war be so brutish, as that it becomes beasts
rather than men; so extravagant, that the poets feigned it an effect of
the furies; so licentious, that it stops the course of all justice and
honesty, so desperate, that it is best waged by ruffians and banditti,
and so unchristian, that it is contrary to the express commands of the
gospel; yet maugre all this, peace is too quiet, too inactive, and they
must be engaged in the boisterousness of war. Among which undertaking
popes, you shall have some so old that they can scarce creep, and yet
they will put on a young, brisk resolution, will resolve to stick at
no pains, to spare no cost, nor to waive any inconvenience, so they may
involve laws, religion, peace, and all other concerns, whether sacred or
civil, in unappeasable tumults and distractions. And yet some of their
learned fawning courtiers will interpret this notorious madness for
zeal, and piety, and fortitude, having found out the way how a man may
draw his sword, and sheathe it in his brother's bowels, and yet not
offend against the duty of the second table, whereby we are obliged
to love our neighbours as ourselves. It is yet uncertain whether these
Romish fathers have taken example from, or given precedent to, such
other German bishops, who omitting their ecclesiastical habit, and other
ceremonies, appear openly armed cap-a-pie, like so many champions and
warriors, thinking no doubt that they come short of the duty of their
function, if they die in any other place than the open field, fighting
the battles of the Lord. The inferior clergy, deeming it unmannerly not
to conform to their patrons and diocesans, devoutly tug and fight for
their tithes with syllogisms and arguments, as fiercely as with swords,
sticks, stones, or anything that came next to hand. When they read the
rabbies, fathers, or other ancient writings, how quick-sighted are they
in spying out any sentences, that they may frighten the people with, and
make them believe that more than the tenth is due, passing by whatever
they meet with in the same authors that minds them of the duty and
difficulty of their own office. They never consider that their shaven
crown is a token that they should pare off and cut away all the
superfluous lusts of this world, and give themselves wholly to divine
meditation; but instead of this, our bald-pated priests think they have
done enough, if they do but mumble over such a fardel of prayers; which
it is a wonder if God should hear or understand, when they whisper them
so softly, and in so unknown a language, which they can scarce hear or
understand themselves. This they have in common with other mechanics,
that they are most subtle in the craft of getting money, and wonderfully
skilled in their respective dues of tithes, offerings, perquisites, &c.
Thus they are all content to reap the profit, but as to the burden, that
they toss as a ball from one hand to another, and assign it over to
any they can get or hire: for as secular princes have their judges and
subordinate ministers to act in their name, and supply their stead; so
ecclesiastical governors have their deputies, vicars, and curates, nay,
many times turn over the whole care of religion to the laity. The laity,
supposing they have nothing to do with the church (as if their baptismal
vow did not initiate them members of it), make it over to the priests;
of the priests again, those that are secular, thinking their tithe
implies them to be a little too profane, assign this task over to the
regulars, the regulars to the monks, the monks bandy it from one order
to another, till it light upon the mendicants; they lay it upon the
Carthusians, which order alone keeps honesty and piety among them, but
really keep them so close that no body ever yet could see them. Thus the
Popes thrusting only their sickle into the harvest of profit, leave all
the other toil of spiritual husbandry to the bishops, the bishops bestow
it upon the pastors, the pastors on their curates, and the curates
commit it to the mendicants, who return it again to such as well know
how to make good advantage of the flock, by the benefit of their fleece.
[Illustration: 329]
[Illustration: 332]
But I would not be thought purposely to expose the weaknesses of popes
and priests, lest I should seem to recede from my title, and make a
satire instead of a panegyric: nor let anyone imagine that I reflect on
good princes, by commending of bad ones: I did this only in brief, to
shew that there is no one particular person can lead a comfortable life,
except he be entered of my society, and retain me for his friend. Nor
indeed can it be otherwise, since fortune, that empress of the world, is
so much in league and amity with me, that to wise men she is always
stingy, and sparing of her gifts, but is profusely liberal and lavish to
fools. Thus Timotheus, the Athenian commander, in all his expeditions,
was a mirror of good luck, because he was a little underwitted; from him
was occasioned the Grecian proverb, 'H _evdovtos kvptos aipel_, _The net
fills, though the fisherman sleeps_; there is also another favourable
proverb, _yhavf itttatai_, _The owl flies_ an omen of success. But
against wise men are pointed these ill-aboding proverbs, '_Ev tetpadi.
yewnoevtas, Born under a bad planet_; equum habet seianum, _He cannot
ride the fore-horse_; aurum tholosanum, _Ill-gotten goods will never
prosper_; and more to the same purpose. But I forbear from any farther
proverbializing, lest I should be thought to have rifled my Erasmus's
adages. To return, therefore, fortune we find still favouring the blunt,
and flushing the forward; strokes and smoothes up fools, crowning all
their undertakings with success; but wisdom makes her followers bashful,
sneaking, and timorous, and therefore you see that they are commonly
reduced to hard shifts, must grapple with poverty, cold and hunger, must
lie recluse, despised, and unregarded, while fools roll in money, are
advanced to dignities and offices, and in a word, have the whole world
at command. If any one think it happy to be a favourite at court, and to
manage the disposal of places and preferments, alas, this happiness is
so far from being attainable by wisdom, that the very suspicion of it
would put a stop to all advancement Has any man a mind to raise himself
a good estate? Alas what dealer in the world would ever get a farthing,
if he be so wise as to scruple at perjury, blush at a lie, or stick at
any fraud and over-reaching.
[Illustration: 336]
Farther, does any one appear a candidate for any ecclesiastical dignity?
Why, an ass, or a plough-jobber, shall sooner gain it than a wise man.
Again, are you in love with any handsome lady? Alas, women-kind are so
addicted to folly, that they will not at all listen to the courtship of
a wise suitor. Finally, wherever there is any preparation made for mirth
and jollity, all wise men are sure to be excluded the company, lest they
should stint the joy, and damp the frolic In a word, to what side soever
we turn ourselves, to popes, princes, judges, magistrates, friends,
enemies, rich or poor, all their concerns are managed by money, which
because it is undervalued by wise men, therefore, in revenge to be sure,
it never comes at them.
But now, though my praise and commendation might well be endless, yet it
is requisite I should put some period to my speech. I'll therefore
draw toward an end, when I have first confirmed what I have said by
the authority of several authors. Which by way of farther proof I shall
insist upon, partly, that I may not be thought to have said more in my
own behalf than what will be justified by others; and partly, that the
lawyers may not check me for citing no precedents nor allegations. To
imitate them therefore I will produce some reports and authorities,
though perhaps like theirs too, they are nothing to the purpose.
First then, it is confessed almost to a proverb, that the art of
dissembling is a very necessary accomplishment; and therefore it is a
common verse among school-boys:--
To feign the fool when fit occasions rise,
Argues the being more completely wise.
It is easy therefore to collect how great a value ought to be put upon
real folly, when the very shadow, and bare imitation of it, is so much
esteemed. Horace, who in his episdes thus styles himself:--
My sleek-skinn'd corpse as smooth as if I lie
'Mong th' fatted swine of Epicurus's sty.
This poet (I say) gives this advice in one of his odes:--
Short Folly with your counsels mix.
[Illustration: Short 340]
The epithet of short, it is true, is a little improper. The same poet
again has this passage elsewhere:--
Well-timed Folly has a sweet relish.
And in another place:--
I'd rather much be censured for a fool,
Than feel the lash and smart of wisdom' s school.
Homer praises Telemachus as much as any one of his heroes, and yet he
gives him the epithet of Nuttios, _Silly_: and the Grecians generally
use the same word to express children, as a token of their innocence.
And what is the argument of all Homer's Iliads, but only, as Horace
observes:--
They kings and subjects dotages contain?
How positive also is Tully's commendation that all places are filled
with fools? Now every excellence being to be measured by its extent, the
goodness of folly must be of as large compass as those universal places
she reaches to. But perhaps christians may slight the authority of a
heathen. I could therefore, if I pleased, back and confirm the truth
hereof by the citations of several texts of scripture; though herein.
it were perhaps my duty to beg leave of the divines, that I might so far
intrench upon their prerogative. Supposing a grant, the task seems so
difficult as to require the invocation of some aid and assistance; yet
because it is unreasonable to put the muses to the trouble and expense
of so tedious a journey, especially since the business is out of
their sphere, I shall choose rather (while I am acting the divine, and
venturing in their polemic difficulties), to wish myself for such time
animated with Scotus, his bristling and prickly soul, which I would not
care how afterwards it returned to his body, though for refinement it
were stopped at a purgatory by the way. I cannot but wish that I might
wholly change my character, or at least that some grave divine, in
my stead, might rehearse this part of the subject for me; for truly I
suspect that somebody will accuse me of plundering the closets of those
reverend men, while I pretend to so much divinity, as must appear in my
following discourse. Yet however, it may not seem strange, that after
so long and frequent a converse, I have gleaned some scraps from the
divines; since Horace's wooden god by hearing his master read Homer,
learned some words of Greek; and Lucian's cock, by long attention, could
readily understand what any man spoke. But now to the purpose, wishing
myself success.
[Illustration: 344]
Ecclesiastes doth somewhere confess that there are an infinite number of
fools. Now when he speaks of an infinite number, what does he else but
imply, that herein is included the whole race of mankind, except some
very few, which I know not whether ever any one had yet the happiness to
see?
The prophet Jeremiah speaks yet more plainly in his tenth chapter, where
he saith, that _Every man is brutish in his knowledge_. He just before
attributes wisdom to God alone, saying, that the _Wise men of the
nations are altogether brutish and foolish_. And in the preceding
chapter he gives this seasonable caution, _Let not the wise man glory
in his wisdom_: the reason is obvious, because no man hath truly any
whereof to glory. But to return to Ecclesiastes, when he saith, _Vanity
of vanities, all is vanity_, what else can we imagine his meaning to
be, than that our whole life is nothing but one continued interlude of
Folly? This confirms that assertion of Tully, which is delivered in that
noted passage we but just now mentioned, namely, that _All places swarm
with fools_. Farther, what does the son of Sirach mean when he saith in
Ecclesiasticus, that the _Fool is changed as the moon_, while the
_Wise man is fixed as the sun_, than only to hint out the folly of all
mankind; and that the name of wise is due to no other but the all-wise
God? for all interpreters by Moon understand mankind, and by Sun that
fountain of all light, the Almighty. The same sense is implied in that
saying of our Saviour in the gospel, _There is none good but one, that
is God_: for if whoever is not wise must be consequently a fool, and if,
according to the Stoics, every man be wise so far only as he is good,
the meaning of the text must be, all mortals are unavoidably fools; and
there is none wise but one, that is God. Solomon also in the fifteenth
chapter of his proverbs hath this expression, _Folly is joy to him
that is destitute of wisdom_; plainly intimating, that the wise man is
attended with grief and vexation, while the foolish only roll in delight
and pleasure. To the same purpose is that saying of his in the first
chapter of Ecclesiastes, _In much wisdom is much grief; and he that
increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow_. Again, it is confessed by the
same preacher in the seventh chapter of the same book, _That the heart
of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in
the house of mirth_. This author himself had never attained to such a
portion of wisdom, if he had not applied himself to a searching out the
frailties and infirmities of human nature; as, if you believe not me,
may appear from his own words in his first chapter, _I gave my heart to
know wisdom, and to know madness and folly_; where it is worthy to be
observed that as to the order of words, Folly for its advantage is
put in the last place. Thus Ecclesiastes wrote, and thus indeed did an
ecclesiastical method require; namely, that what has the precedence in
dignity should come hindmost in rank and order, according to the tenor
of that evangelical precept, _The last shall be first, and the first
shall be last_. And in Ecclesiasticus likewise (whoever was author of
the holy book which bears that name) in the forty-fourth chapter, the
excellency of folly above wisdom is positively acknowledged; the very
words I shall not cite, till I have the advantage of an answer to a
question I am proposing, this way of interrogating being frequently made
use of by Plato in his dialogues between Socrates, and other disputants:
I ask you then, what is it we usually hoard and lock up, things of
greater esteem and value, or those which are more common, trite, and
despicable? Why are you so backward in making an answer? Since you are
so shy and reserved, I'll take the Greek proverb for a satisfactory
reply; namely, _Foul water is thrown down the sink_; which saying, that
no person may slight it, may be convenient to advertise that it comes
from no meaner an author than that oracle of truth, Aristotle himself.
And indeed there is no one on this side Bedlam so mad as to throw out
upon the dunghill his gold and jewels, but rather all persons have a
close repository to preserve them in, and secure them under all the
locks, bolts, and bars, that either art can contrive, or fears suggest:
whereas the dirt, pebbles, and oyster-shells, that lie scattered in the
streets, ye trample upon, pass by, and take no notice of.
[Illustration: 348]