XXIV

From our first arrival in Dublin, my father had brought me from time to

time to see Edward Dowden. He and my father had been college friends and

were trying, perhaps, to take up again their old friendship. Sometimes we

were asked to breakfast, and afterwards my father would tell me to read

out one of my poems. Dowden was wise in his encouragement, never

overpraising and never unsympathetic, and he would sometimes lend me

books. The orderly, prosperous house where all was in good taste, where

poetry was rightly valued, made Dublin tolerable for a while, and for

perhaps a couple of years he was an image of romance. My father would not

share my enthusiasm and soon, I noticed, grew impatient at these meetings.

He would sometimes say that he had wanted Dowden when they were young to

give himself to creative art, and would talk of what he considered

Dowden's failure in life. I know now that he was finding in his friend

what he himself had been saved from by the conversation of the

pre-Raphaelites. "He will not trust his nature," he would say, or "he is

too much influenced by his inferiors," or he would praise "Renunciants,"

one of Dowden's poems, to prove what Dowden might have written. I was not

influenced for I had imagined a past worthy of that dark, romantic face. I

took literally his verses, touched here and there with Swinburnian

rhetoric, and believed that he had loved, unhappily and illicitly; and

when through the practice of my art I discovered that certain images about

the love of woman were the properties of a school, I but changed my fancy

and thought of him as very wise.

I was constantly troubled about philosophic questions. I would say to my

fellow students at the Art school, "poetry and sculpture exist to keep our

passions alive;" and somebody would say, "we would be much better without

our passions." Or I would have a week's anxiety over the problem: do the

arts make us happier, or more sensitive and therefore more unhappy. And I

would say to Hughes or Sheppard, "if I cannot be certain they make us

happier I will never write again." If I spoke of these things to Dowden he

would put the question away with good-humoured irony: he seemed to

condescend to everybody and everything and was now my sage. I was about to

learn that if a man is to write lyric poetry he must be shaped by nature

and art to some one out of half-a-dozen traditional poses, and be lover or

saint, sage or sensualist, or mere mocker of all life; and that none but

that stroke of luckless luck can open before him the accumulated

expression of the world. And this thought before it could be knowledge was

an instinct.

I was vexed when my father called Dowden's irony timidity, but after many

years his impression has not changed for he wrote to me but a few months

ago, "it was like talking to a priest. One had to be careful not to remind

him of his sacrifice." Once after breakfast Dowden read us some chapters

of the unpublished "Life of Shelley," and I who had made the "Prometheus

Unbound" my sacred book was delighted with all he read. I was chilled,

however, when he explained that he had lost his liking for Shelley and

would not have written it but for an old promise to the Shelley family.

When it was published, Matthew Arnold made sport of certain

conventionalities and extravagances that were, my father and I had come to

see, the violence or clumsiness of a conscientious man hiding from himself

a lack of sympathy. He had abandoned too, or was about to abandon, what

was to have been his master-work, "The Life of Goethe," though in his

youth a lecture course at Alexandra College that spoke too openly of

Goethe's loves had brought upon him the displeasure of our Protestant

Archbishop of Dublin. Only Wordsworth, he said, kept, more than all, his

early love.

Though my faith was shaken, it was only when he urged me to read George

Eliot that I became angry and disillusioned & worked myself into a quarrel

or half-quarrel. I had read all Victor Hugo's romances and a couple of

Balzac's and was in no mind to like her. She seemed to have a distrust or

a distaste for all in life that gives one a springing foot. Then too she

knew so well how to enforce her distaste by the authority of her

mid-Victorian science or by some habit of mind of its breeding, that I,

who had not escaped the fascination of what I loathed, doubted while the

book lay open whatsoever my instinct knew of splendour. She disturbed me

and alarmed me, but when I spoke of her to my father, he threw her aside

with a phrase, "Oh, she was an ugly woman who hated handsome men and

handsome women;" and he began to praise "Wuthering Heights."

Only the other day, when I got Dowden's letters, did I discover for how

many years the friendship between Dowden and my father had been an

antagonism. My father had written from Fitzroy Road in the sixties that

the brotherhood, by which he meant the poet Edwin Ellis, Nettleship and

himself, "abhorred Wordsworth;" and Dowden, not remembering that another

week would bring a different mood and abhorrence, had written a pained and

solemn letter. My father had answered that Dowden believed too much in the

intellect and that all valuable education was but a stirring up of the

emotions and had added that this did not mean excitability. "In the

completely emotional man," he wrote, "the least awakening of feeling is a

harmony in which every chord of every feeling vibrates. Excitement is the

feature of an insufficiently emotional nature, the harsh vibrating

discourse of but one or two chords." Living in a free world accustomed to

the gay exaggeration of the talk of equals, of men who talk and write to

discover truth and not for popular instruction, he had already, when both

men were in their twenties, decided it is plain that Dowden was a

Provincial.

Reveries over Childhood and Youth · 第 27 / 36 题