Of the "gentlemen of England who live at home at ease," very few can
know how entirely dependent for happiness one is on his neighbours. Man
is out-and-out, or out-and-in, a gregarious animal, else `Robinson
Crusoe' had never been written. Now, I am sure that it is only correct
to state that the majority of combatant [Note 1] officers are, in simple
language, jolly nice fellows, and as a class gentlemen, having, in fact,
that fine sense of honour, that good-heartedness, which loves to do as
it would be done by, which hurteth not the feelings of the humble, which
turneth aside from the worm in its path, and delighteth not in plucking
the wings from the helpless fly. To believe, however, that there are no
exceptions to this rule would be to have faith in the speedy advent of
the millennium, that happy period of lamb-and-lion-ism which we would
all rather see than hear tell of; for human nature is by no means
altered by bathing every morning in salt water, it is the same afloat as
on shore. And there are many officers in the navy, who--"dressed in a
little brief authority," and wearing an additional stripe--love to lord
it over their fellow worms. Nor is this fault altogether absent from
the medical profession itself!
It is in small gunboats, commanded perhaps by a lieutenant, and carrying
only an assistant-surgeon, where a young medical officer feels all the
hardships and despotism of the service; for if the lieutenant in command
happens to be at all frog-hearted, he has then a splendid opportunity of
puffing himself up.
In a large ship with from twenty to thirty officers in the mess, if you
do not happen to meet with a kindred spirit at one end of the table, you
can shift your chair to the other. But in a gunboat on foreign service,
with merely a clerk, a blatant middy, and a second-master who would fain
be your senior, as your messmates, then, I say, God help you! unless you
have the rare gift of doing anything for a quiet life. It is all
nonsense to say, "Write a letter on service about any grievance;" you
can't write about ten out of a thousand of the petty annoyances which go
to make your life miserable; and if you do, you will be but little
better, if, indeed, your last state be not worse than your first.
I have in my mind's eye even now a lieutenant who commanded a gunboat in
which I served as medical officer in charge. This little man was what
is called a sea-lawyer--my naval readers well know what I mean; he knew
all the Admiralty Instructions, was an amateur engineer, only needed the
title of M.D. to make him a doctor, could quibble and quirk, and in fact
could prove by the Queen's Regulations that your soul, to say nothing of
your body, wasn't your own; that _you_ were a slave, and _he_ lord--god
of all he surveyed. Peace be with him! he has gone to his account; he
will not require an advocate, he can speak for himself. Not many such
hath the service, I am happy to say. He was continually changing his
poor hard-worked sub-lieutenants, and driving his engineers to drink,
previously to trying them by court-martial. At first he and I got on
very well; apparently he "loved me like a vera brither;" but we did not
continue long "on the same platform," and, from the day we had the first
difference of opinion, he was my foe, and a bitter one too. I assure
you, reader, it gave me a poor idea of the service, for it was my first
year. He was always on the outlook for faults, and his kindest words to
me were "chaffing" me on my accent, or about my country. To be able to
meet him on his own ground I studied the Instructions day and night, and
tried to stick by them.
Malingering was common on board; one or two whom I caught I turned to
duty: the men, knowing how matters stood between the commander and me,
refused to work, and so I was had up and bullied on the quarter-deck for
"neglect of duty" in not putting these fellows on the sick-list. After
this I had to put every one that asked on the sick-list.
"Doctor," he would say to me on reporting the number sick, "this is
_wondrous_ strange--_thirteen_ on the list, out of only ninety men.
Why, sir, I've been in line-of-battle ships,--_line-of-battle_ ships,
sir,--where they had not ten sick--_ten sick_, sir." This of course
implied an insult to me, but I was like a sheep before the shearers,
dumb.
On Sunday mornings I went with him the round of inspection; the sick who
were able to be out of hammock were drawn up for review: had he been
half as particular with the men under his own charge or with the ship in
general as he was with the few sick, there would have been but little
disease to treat. Instead of questioning _me_ concerning their
treatment, he interrogated the sick themselves, quarrelling with the
medicine given, and pooh-pooh-ing my diagnosis. Those in hammocks, who
most needed gentleness and comfort, he bullied, blamed for being ill,
and rendered generally uneasy. Remonstrance on my part was either taken
no notice of, or instantly checked. If men were reported by me for
being dirty, giving impudence, or disobeying orders, _he_ became their
advocate--an able one too--and _I_ had to retire, sorry I had spoken.
But I would not tell the tenth part of what I had to suffer, because
such men as he are the _exception_, and because he is dead. A little
black baboon of a boy who attended on this lieutenant-commanding had one
day incurred his displeasure: "Bo'swain's mate," cried he, "take my boy
forward, hoist him on an ordinary seaman's back, and give him a
rope's-ending; and," turning to me, "Doctor, you'll go and attend my
boy's flogging."
I dared not trust myself to reply. With a face like crimson I rushed
below to my cabin, and--how could I help it?--made a baby of myself for
once; all my pent-up feelings found vent in a long fit of crying.
True, I might in this case have written a letter to the service about my
treatment; but, as it is not till after twelve months the
assistant-surgeon is confirmed, the commander's word would have been
taken before mine, and I probably dismissed without a court-martial.
That probationary year I consider more than a grievance, it is a _cruel
injustice_.
Cabins? There is a regulation--of late more strictly enforced by a
circular--that every medical officer serving on board his own ship shall
have a cabin, and the choice--by rank--of cabin, and he is a fool if he
does not enforce it. But it sometimes happens that a sub-lieutenant
(who has no cabin) is promoted to lieutenant on a foreign station; he
will then rank above the assistant-surgeon, and perhaps, if there is no
spare cabin, the poor doctor will have to give up his, and take to a
sea-chest and hammock, throwing all his curiosities, however valuable,
overboard. It would be the duty of the captain in such a case to build
an additional cabin, and if he did not, or would not, a letter to the
admiral would make him.
Does the combatant officer treat the medical officer with respect?
Certainly, unless one or other of the two be a snob: in the one case the
respect is not worth having, in the other it can't be expected.
In the military branch you shall find many officers belonging to the
best English families: these I need hardly say are for the most part
gentlemen, and gentle men. However, it is allowed in most messes that
"The rank is but the guinea's stamp,
A man's man for a' that;"
and I assure the candidate for a commission, that, if he is himself a
gentleman, he will find no want of admirers in the navy. But there are
some young doctors who enter the service, knowing their profession to be
sure, and how to hold a knife and fork--not a carving-fork though--but
knowing little else; yet even these soon settle down, and, if they are
not dismissed by court-martial for knocking some one down at cards, or
on the quarter-deck, turn out good service-officers. Indeed, after all,
I question if it be good to know too much of fine-gentility on entering
the service, for, although the navy officers one meets have much that is
agreeable, honest, and true, there is through it all a vein of what can
only be designated as the coarse. The science of conversation, that
beautiful science that says and lets say, that can listen as well as
speak, is but little studied. Mostly all the talk is "shop," or rather
"ship." There is a want of tone in the discourse, a lack of refinement.
The delicious chit-chat on new books, authors, poetry, music, or the
drama, interspersed with anecdote, incident, and adventure, and
enlivened with the laughter-raising pun or happy bon-mot, is, alas! but
too seldom heard: the rough joke, the tales of women, ships, and former
ship-mates, and the old, old, stale "good things,"--these are more
fashionable at our navy mess-board. Those who would object to such
conversation are in the minority, and prefer to let things hang as they
grew. Now, only one thing can ever alter this, and that is a good and
perfect library in every ship, to enable officers, who spend most of
their time out of society, to keep up with the times if possible. But I
fear I am drifting imperceptibly into the subject of navy-reform, which
I prefer leaving to older and wiser heads.
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Note 1. Combatant (from combat, a battle), fighting officers,--as if
the medical offices didn't fight likewise. It would be better to take
away the "combat," and leave the "ant"--ant-officers, as they do the
work of the ship.