We will suppose that the reader still occupies the position of
assistant-surgeon in a crack frigate or saucy line-of-battle ship. If
you go on shore for a walk in the forenoon you may return to lunch at
twelve; or if you have extended your ramble far into the country, or
gone to visit a friend or lady-love--though for the latter the gloaming
hour is to be preferred--you will in all probability have succeeded in
establishing an appetite by half-past five, when the officers'
dinner-boat leaves the pier.
Now, I believe there are few people in the world to whom a good dinner
does not prove an attraction, and this is what in a large ship one is
always pretty sure of, more especially on guest-nights, which are
evenings set apart--one every week--for the entertainment of the
officers' friends, one or more of whom any officer may invite, by
previously letting the mess-caterer know of his intention. The
mess-caterer is the officer who has been elected to superintend the
victualling, as the wine-caterer does the liquor department, and a
by-no-means-enviable position it is, and consequently it is for ever
changing hands. Sailors are proverbial growlers, and, indeed, a certain
amount of growling is, and ought to be, permitted in every mess; but it
is scarcely fair for an officer, because his breakfast does not please
him, or if he can't get butter to his cheese after dinner, to launch
forth his indignation at the poor mess-caterer, who most likely is doing
all he can to please. These growlers too never speak right out or
directly to the point. It is all under-the-table stabbing.
"Such and such a ship that I was in," says growler first, "and such and
such a mess--"
"Oh, by George!" says growler second, "_I_ knew that ship; that was a
mess, and no mistake?"
"Why, yes," replies number one, "the lunch we got there was better than
the dinner we have in this old clothes-basket."
On guest-nights your friend sits beside yourself, of course, and you
attend to his corporeal wants. One of the nicest things about the
service, in my opinion, is the having the band every day at dinner; then
too everything is so orderly; with our president and vice-president, it
is quite like a pleasure party every evening; so that altogether the
dinner, while in harbour, comes to be the great event of the day. And
after the cloth has been removed, and the president, with a preliminary
rap on the table to draw attention, has given the only toast of the
evening, the Queen, and due honour has been paid thereto, and the
bandmaster, who has been keeking in at the door every minute for the
last ten, that he might not make a mistake in the time, has played "God
save the Queen," and returned again to waltzes, quadrilles, or
selections from operas,--then it is very pleasant and delightful to loll
over our walnuts and wine, and half-dream away the half-hour till coffee
is served. Then, to be sure, that little cigar in our canvas
smoking-room outside the wardroom door, though the last, is by no means
the least pleasant part of the _dejeuner_. For my own part, I enjoy the
succeeding hour or so as much as any: when, reclining in an easy chair,
in a quiet corner, I can sip my tea, and enjoy my favourite author to my
heart's content. You must spare half an hour, however, to pay your last
visit to the sick; but this will only tend to make you appreciate your
ease all the more when you have done. So the evening wears away, and by
ten o'clock you will probably just be sufficiently tired to enjoy
thoroughly your little swing-cot and your cool white sheets.
At sea, luncheon, or tiffin, is dispensed with, and you dine at
half-past two. Not much difference in the quality of viands after all,
for now-a-days everything worth eating can be procured, in hermetically
sealed tins, capable of remaining fresh for any length of time.
There is one little bit of the routine of the service, which at first
one may consider a hardship.
You are probably enjoying your deepest, sweetest sleep, rocked in the
cradle of the deep, and gently swaying to and fro in your little cot;
you had turned in with the delicious consciousness of safety, for well
you knew that the ship was far away at sea, far from rock or reef or
deadly shoal, and that the night was clear and collision very
improbable, so you are slumbering like a babe on its mother's breast--as
you are for that matter--for the second night-watch is half spent; when,
mingling confusedly with your dreams, comes the roll of the drum; you
start and listen. There is a moment's pause, when birr-r-r-r it goes
again, and as you spring from your couch you hear it the third time.
And now you can distinguish the shouts of officers and petty officers,
high over the din of the trampling of many feet, of the battening down
of hatches, of the unmooring of great guns, and of heavy ropes and bars
falling on the deck: then succeeds a dead silence, soon broken by the
voice of the commander thundering, "Enemy on the port bow;" and then,
and not till then, do you know it is no real engagement, but the monthly
night-quarters. And you can't help feeling sorry there isn't a real
enemy on the port bow, or either bow, as you hurry away to the cockpit,
with the guns rattling all the while overhead, as if a real live
thunderstorm were being taken on board, and was objecting to be stowed
away. So you lay out your instruments, your sponges, your bottles of
wine, and your buckets of water, and, seating yourself in the midst,
begin to read `Midsummer Night's Dream,' ready at a moment's notice to
amputate the leg of any man on board, whether captain, cook, or
cabin-boy.
Another nice little amusement the officer of the watch may give himself
on fine clear nights is to set fire to and let go the lifebuoy, at the
same time singing out at the top of his voice, "Man overboard."
A boatswain's mate at once repeats the call, and vociferates down the
main hatchway, "Life-boat's crew a-ho-oy!"
In our navy a few short but expressive moments of silence ever precede
the battle, that both officers and men may hold communion with their
God.
The men belonging to this boat, who have been lying here and there
asleep but dressed, quickly tumble up the ladder pell-mell; there is a
rattling of oars heard, and the creaking of pulleys, then a splash in
the water alongside, the boat darts away from the ship like an arrow
from a bow, and the crew, rowing towards the blazing buoy, save the life
of the unhappy man, Cheeks the marine.
And thus do British sailors rule the waves and keep old Neptune in his
own place.