It is a way they have in the service, or rather it is the custom of the
present Director-General, not to appoint the newly-entered medical
officer at once to a sea-going ship, but instead to one or other of the
naval hospitals for a few weeks or even months, in order that he may be
put up to the ropes, as the saying is, or duly initiated into the
mysteries of service and routine of duty. This is certainly a good
idea, although it is a question whether it would not be better to adopt
the plan they have at Netley, and thus put the navy and army on the same
footing.
Haslar Hospital at Portsmouth is a great rambling barrack-looking block
of brick building, with a yard or square surrounded by high walls in
front, and with two wings extending from behind, which, with the chapel
between, form another and smaller square.
There are seldom fewer than a thousand patients within, and, independent
of a whole regiment of male and female nurses, sick-bay-men, servants,
cooks, _et id genus omne_, there is a regular staff of officers,
consisting of a captain--of what use I have yet to learn--two medical
inspector-generals, generally three or four surgeons, the same number of
regularly appointed assistant-surgeons, besides from ten to twenty
acting assistant-surgeons [Note 1] waiting for appointments, and doing
duty as supernumeraries. Of this last class I myself was a member.
Soon as the clock tolled the hour of eight in the morning, the
staff-surgeon of our side of the hospital stalked into the duty cabin,
where we, the assistants, were waiting to receive him. Immediately
after, we set out on the morning visit, each of us armed with a little
board or palette to be used as a writing-desk, an excise inkstand slung
in a buttonhole, and a quill behind the ear. The large doors were
thrown open, the beds neat and tidy, and the nurses "standing by." Up
each side of the long wards, from bed to bed, we journeyed; notifying
the progress of each case, repeating the treatment here, altering or
suspending it there, and performing small operations in another place;
listening attentively to tales of aches and pains, and hopes and fears,
and just in a sort of general way acting the part of good Samaritans.
From one ward to another we went, up and down long staircases, along
lengthy corridors, into wards in the attics, into wards on the basement,
and into wards below ground,--fracture wards, Lazarus wards, erysipelas
wards, men's wards, officers' wards; and thus we spent the time till a
little past nine, by which time the relief of so much suffering had
given us an appetite, and we hurried off to the messroom to breakfast.
The medical mess at Haslar is one of the finest in the service.
Attached to the room is a nice little apartment, fitted up with a
bagatelle-table, and boxing gloves and foils _ad libitum_. And, sure
enough, you might walk many a weary mile, or sail many a knot, without
meeting twenty such happy faces as every evening surrounded our
dinner-table, without beholding twenty such bumper glasses raised at
once to the toast of Her Majesty the Queen, and without hearing twenty
such good songs, or five times twenty such yarns and original bons-mots,
as you would at Haslar Medical Mess. Yet I must confess we partook in
but a small degree indeed of the solemn quietude of Wordsworth's--
"--Party in a parlour cramm'd,
Some sipping punch, some sipping tea,
But, as you by their faces see,
All silent--and all damned."
I do not deny that we were a little noisy at times, and that on several
occasions, having eaten and drunken till we were filled, we rose up to
dance, and consequently received a _polite_ message from the inspector
whose house was adjoining, requesting us to "stop our _confounded_ row;"
but then the old man was married, and no doubt his wife was at the
bottom of it.
Duty was a thing that did not fall to the lot of us supers every day.
We took it turn about, and hard enough work it used to be too. As soon
as breakfast was over, the medical officer on duty would hie him away to
the receiving-room, and seat himself at the large desk; and by-and-bye
the cases would begin to pour in. First there would arrive, say three
or four blue-jackets, with their bags under their arms, in charge of an
assistant-surgeon, then a squad of marines, then more blue-jackets, then
more red-coats, and so the game of _rouge-et-noir_ would go on during
the day. The officer on duty has first to judge whether or not the case
is one that can be admitted,--that is, which cannot be conveniently
treated on board; he has then to appoint the patient a bed in a proper
ward, and prescribe for him, almost invariably a bath and a couple of
pills. Besides, he has to enter the previous history of the case,
verbatim, into each patient's case-book, and if the cases are numerous,
and the assistant-surgeon who brings them has written an elaborate
account of each disease, the duty-officer will have had his work cut out
for him till dinner-time at least. Before the hour of the patient's
dinner, this gentleman has also to glance into each ward, to see if
everything is right, and if there are any complaints. Even when ten or
eleven o'clock at night brings sleep and repose to others, his work is
not yet over; he has one other visit to pay any time during the night
through all his wards. Then with dark-lantern and slippers you may meet
him, gliding ghost-like along the corridors or passages, lingering at
ward doors, listening on the staircases, smelling and snuffing, peeping
and keeking, and endeavouring by eye, or ear, or nose, to detect the
slightest irregularity among the patients or nurses, such as burning
lights without orders, gambling by the light of the fire, or smoking.
This visit paid, he may return to his virtuous cabin, and sleep as
soundly as he chooses.
Very few of the old surgeons interfere with the duties of their
assistants, but there _be_ men who seem to think you have merely come to
the service to learn, not to practise your profession, and therefore
they treat you as mere students, or at the best hobble-de-hoy doctors.
Of this class was Dr Gruff, a man whom I would back against the whole
profession for caudle, clyster, castor-oil, or linseed poultice; but
who, I rather suspect, never prescribed a dose of chiretta, santonin, or
lithia-water in his life. He came to me one duty-day, in a great hurry,
and so much excited that I judged he had received some grievous bodily
ailment, or suffered some severe family bereavement.
"Well, sir," he cried; "I hear, sir, you have put a case of ulcer into
the erysipelas ward."
This remark, not partaking of the nature of question, I thought required
no answer.
"Is it true, sir?--is it true?" he continued, getting blue and red.
"It is, sir," was the reply.
"And what do you mean by it, sir? What do you mean by it?" he
exclaimed, waxing more and more wroth.
"I thought, sir--" I began.
"You thought, sir!"
"Yes, sir," continued I, my Highland blood getting uppermost, "I _did_
think that, the case being one of ulcer of an _erysipelatous_ nature, I
was--"
"Erysipelatous ulcer!" interrupting me. "Oh!" said he, "that alters the
case. Why did you not say so at first? I beg your pardon;" and he
trotted off again.
"All right," thought I, "old Gruff. I guess you are sorry you spoke."
But although there are not wanting medical officers in the service who,
on being promoted to staff-surgeon, appear to forget that ever they wore
less than three stripes, and can keep company with no one under the rank
of commander, I am happy to say they are few and far between, and every
year getting more few and farther between.
It is a fine thing to be appointed for, say three or four years to a
home hospital; in fact, it is the assistant-surgeon's highest ambition.
Next, in point of comfort, would be an appointment at the Naval Hospital
of Malta, Cape of Good Hope, or China.
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Note 1. The acting assistant-surgeons are those who have not as yet
served the probationary year, or been confirmed. They are liable to be
dismissed without a court-martial.